by Gemma Weir
“Okay, bye,” she says into the cell I didn’t realize she was holding and then she jumps into Daisy’s waiting arms. “Nikki’s getting her keys. She’s actually doing it, she’s really moving here.”Her voice breaks on the last word and Daisy wraps his arms around her and pulls her into his chest.
“She’s getting her keys to the new place today?” I ask.
Dove pulls away from Daisy and wipes a stray tear from her eye. “Yeah, I’m meeting her at the house in half an hour.”
I nod, as nonchalantly as I can. Nikki actually moving to town means she’s here to stay, because I doubt she’ll move again once she’s firmly back in her sister’s life. A sly smile twitches at the edges of my lips. “Maybe I’ll come offer my congratulations on the new house?”
Dove’s face suddenly fills with amusement, her brows arch and her lips morph into a smug smile. “Blade, you know I adore you. But I need to know exactly what your intentions are toward my sister.”
I bark out a laugh and ruffle her hair affectionately. “Little Dove, I will let you know just as soon as I sort it out with your big sister.”
Laughing, she rushes off to grab her purse. A hand lands on my shoulder and I quickly turn to see who it belongs to. A smirking Daisy is standing beside me, his eyebrows quirked in amusement. “You gonna get everything fixed up with Nikki soon?” He asks.
He knows. Either Dove told him, or I’ve been more obvious that I thought about the way I feel about her. “You claiming her?” He asks, a serious tone in his voice.
I turn fully and meet his eyes. “If she’ll let me.”
“And if she won’t?” he asks, his face firm and unyielding.
“I’m still fucking claiming her,” I say, my lips twisting into a smile.
He laughs and holds out his hand to me. “Welcome to the family, brother.”
“Yeah, let’s see what she has to say about that,” I say, taking his hand and shaking it.
“She still hate you?” Daisy asks with a snigger.
“Sometimes she thinks she does, yeah.”
“Think she’ll run?” He asks, a hint of wariness in his tone.
“Nope.”
“You sound pretty sure of that.”
“I am,” I reply, holding his gaze so he can see the certainty in my eyes.
I follow Daisy and Dove to Nikki’s new house, and when we arrive she’s already there, the Comet parked in the driveway. I spot her bright red hair immediately and see her chatting to the realtor who showed us around the house the first time we came to view it. Nikki shakes hands with the woman and I watch as the realtor eyes us warily and darts back to her car.
Dove rushes over to her sister, and coos over the keys in Nikki’s hands. Duchess smiles warmly at Daisy and then her eyes find mine. She’s slept in my arms for the last two nights, but we haven’t spoken, and the tension between us fills the air until I can practically feel it in my lungs. Something sparks in her eyes as I approach, and I expect her to run from me, but she holds her ground, her lips parted slightly, her eyes never leaving mine.
Dove steps back when I get within a foot of Nikki, smirking and eyeing me knowingly. I don’t touch my Duchess, but I invade her personal space until there’s no air between us. “Hey, Duchess,” I say, leaning down so my lips are almost at her ear.
She shudders and I suppress the feeling of triumph that’s pulsing through me. Stepping back, I watch as her body unconsciously strains toward me, until she blinks and then straightens. She turns and slides the key into the lock and one by one we all trail into Nikki’s new home.
I watch as she and Dove excitedly dash from room to room, describing the renovations they think need to be done as they go. When they pause in the kitchen, she scans the room, turning in a slow circle as she surveys the space. “I need to find a decent local contractor. The guy I used on my house in Chestnut Grove moved out of state.”
“The club own a building contractor’s. We can do the work for you,” I say.
“What, you?” she asks, sounding horrified at the idea that I might work on her house.
“No, not me personally, Duchess. I work with our security company, but our contractors will.”
“You work at a security company?” she repeats.
“Well I run the security company. Echo does all of the hands-on stuff, but I organize the staff, find the jobs, that kind of thing. But, yeah, what did you think I did for work?” I ask amused.
She looks flustered as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t, err, I don’t know. I suppose I thought you just did, err biker things or something.”
Both Daisy and I laugh. “Biker things,” I say with a smile.
“Oh shut up. I don’t know what the hell you guys do.”
“The club owns several businesses in the local area including a building contractor. I’ll get K.C. to drop by tomorrow and give you some prices and we can get the place fixed up for you in no time.”
“That’s perfect isn’t it, Sissy?” Dove cries enthusiastically, taking her sister’s arm and squeezing eagerly. “The club will give you a great deal, and you know they’ll do a good job because you’re family.”
“Err, sure that sounds great,” Nikki reluctantly agrees.
That night I crawl into Nikki’s bed a little after midnight. I can tell she’s awake, but she doesn’t say anything to me. When I pull her into my body, her muscles melt into me, and she lays her head onto my bicep and falls asleep.
Leaving her bed the next morning, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
There’s no note from Cam this morning and I feel the pressure of tears building, but I blink them away. I need to be strong and hard. I try to remind myself that I’ve never invited him here and that I don’t need his notes, but I can’t help feeling lost without one this morning. How can I go from his everything yesterday to nothing today? I reach for my cell and see a text waiting for me from an unknown number. Swiping into my home screen I click on it. It’s a photo of me, curled up fast asleep in my bed and there’s a caption at the bottom.
You looked so fucking beautiful this morning, Duchess. I can’t wait until you ask me to stay and wake up with you.
My heart instantly fills with butterflies and warmth, and groaning I clutch the cell to my chest and flop back against the pillows. Why does he have to be sweet? Why can’t he stay in the role I’ve given him? I need him to be the asshole, control freak biker. That way I can push him away and pretend it was just sex and nothing deeper.
I like him.
My heart beats faster as I finally admit it to myself. I like Cam and I have no idea what to do about it. He’s not at all what I was expecting, and when he’s with me I don’t feel alone anymore. For the last two years I’ve been so completely alone, even when I was surrounded by people. In such a small amount of time Cam’s infuriating personality, his tenacity, his touch and the way he consumes me even when he’s driving me crazy has filled the gaping hole in my heart.
Last night I knew he would come and when I felt the mattress dip and his strong arms collect me and pull me into his warm body, I went willingly. I could have fought him and told him to leave, but we both know that isn’t what I want.
Twisting my head, I stare at the dent in the pillow and sigh wistfully. I wish he was still here, but I don’t know if I’m ready to admit that to him.
I save his number into my cell and drag myself out of bed, pushing my growing feelings for Cam to the back of my mind. My cell beeps at lunchtime when I’m sat at my desk looking at the latest numbers and distracted I grab it and click in to view the message.
Cam: K.C. is meeting you at your new place at 3pm to go over the work you need doing.
I have to read the message twice to fully understand the words and then a third time to comprehend that Cam didn’t ask me if this was okay. He told me this meeting is going to happen. My hackles instantly rise and by the time I get to my new house at 2:50pm I’m thoroughly annoyed.
Two bikes
arrive promptly at 3pm and I open the door before they’ve even climbed off. A redheaded guy smiles at me warmly as he walks upto the front door and holds out a hand for me to shake. “Hey, Nikki, I’m K.C.”
“Hey K.C., nice to meet you. Why don’t you come on in and we can discuss the work I need doing?”
I gesture for him to head into the house and then turn back to Cam. “Why are you here?” I ask, in as haughty a tone as I can manage.
“Why wouldn’t I be here?” Cam asks, grazing a fingertip down my arm.
My lips part as a silent groan escapes me. Just his barely there touch is enough to have my nerve endings surging to life and my resolve to be cold and aloof toward him dissolve.
Cam steps closer to me and leans forward. “Did you miss me this morning, Duchess?”
His warm breath hits my cheek, and I try to halt my body’s reaction to him and the shiver that runs through me, but I can see in his eyes that it’s too late, he’s already seen.
“Ask me to touch you, Nikki. Ask me to stay until you wake up and make love to you in the early morning light.”
His words are so enticing that I almost speak. Please, forms on my lips but I swallow it, forcing myself to remember his demanding text. “No,” I whisper, the word barely audible.
Cam sighs and his shoulders slump. Without another word he moves past me and into the house. For the next hour while K.C. and I walk from room to room, I ignore Cam’s presence and focus on explaining what work I need doing to my house. K.C. nods, taking notes and photos of each room and when we end up back in the kitchen he slides his pad back into his leather folder. “Give me a day or so to work out some prices and I’ll get back to you.”
I nod, offer him a fake smile, and then follow him to the door when he excuses himself, telling me he needs to go check on another job. Holding the door open, I watch him climb onto his bike. K.C. glances back at the door, offers me a quick chin lift and then rides away.
I can feel Cam’s presence behind me, and for a second I allow my eyes to fall closed and I bask in the way he makes me feel just from being in the same room as him.
“Duchess,” Cam drawls, his voice seductive and smoky.
A fine tremor of anticipation curls across my skin. His voice sounds like pure unadulterated sex and I want him to touch me. “Cam,” I rasp out.
“What is it, Nikki?” he asks, his voice much closer than before.
“I need,” I say, my words faltering.
One hand curls around my waist from behind, until his palm is spread across my stomach. “What do you need? Tell me and I’ll do it for you, baby.”
“I need… I need…” I try to tell him I need him, that I need him to touch me and fuck me and make me feel whole, but the words just won’t come.
I feel, rather than hear, his sigh, and when he releases me and steps back, I almost cry out. “See you tonight, Duchess,” he says dejectedly as he walks past me and out the front door.
My skin is on fire and my sex is burning with need. I watch him ride away on his stupid fucking motorcycle and even though I know it was me who stopped things by not asking for what I wanted, I’m still irrationally angry at him.
He knows what I want. Why the fuck does he need me to spell it out for him? Maybe I’m not ready for anything more than sex. Maybe he should respect that and just fuck me, like we both so obviously want him to. Why is he being such a girl about this? Most men wouldn’t be looking for something deeper than mindblowing orgasms, so why is Cam?
It’s 1am when he climbs into my bed that night and I’m waiting for him. The moment his hands reach for me, I turn in his arms and move in for a kiss. I attack his lips, telling him with my actions that I want him to fuck me. I expect him to pounce on me, to take my kisses as the consent he needs to move things along to sex, but he doesn’t. Instead Cam takes control of the kiss. He pulls me into his chest, cups one cheek with his huge hand and tenderly worships my mouth.
My body wars with itself. The kiss is unbelievable and my whole body is tingling and alive, but I want more. My pussy is throbbing and wet. I need his fingers, tongue, or cock to relieve the ache, but even though I scratch at his arms and try to reach for his cock, he doesn’t allow the kiss to go any further.
After the longest make-out session in the world, I pry my lips from his and glare at him. “Are you going to fuck me?” I ask curtly.
Cam’s eyes narrow and he moves away from me. “No.”
“Fuck you, Cam,” I shout, then I dramatically turn my back to him. I feel, rather than see him sit up and move to the edge of the bed. The mattress rocks as he stands up and I roll back toward him. “Where are you going?”
Cam sighs then turns to face me. “I’m going home.”
“Fine, just leave. I don’t need you here, I certainly never asked you to come,” I say, attacking him with my words.
“Duchess, you need me more than any other person in the world. You just don’t want to admit it,” Cam says tersely as he pulls on his jeans and shirt.
Suddenly filled with anger, I jump from the bed and stand opposite him, my breath ragged and my hands on my hips defensively. “Fuck you, Cam,” I cry again.
“Nikki, I can’t be the only one that wants this. I thought you wanted this, that you wanted us. I thought you just needed to get it sorted in your head, but I don’t know anymore.” His voice is low and emotionless, and my heart breaks a little. I want to speak, I try to, but no words come.
“You’re not living, Nikki, you’re existing. You don’t have any friends, you don’t make connections. For fuck’s sake the closest person to you in the world before you came back to Archer’s Creek was your fucking dog. You don’t have to be alone, you never have, but you’re choosing to live your life that way,” Cam cries, his hands reached out to me.
“You don’t have a home, you have a house. You don’t have friends, you have acquaintances. Hell, you consider Park a friend, but he knows literally nothing about you that’s not surface deep. He doesn’t even understand the significance of the words he’s tattooed on you. Give us a chance, give this life a chance, and for the first time in years take a risk. Believe that we’re not like your parents, believe that we won’t hurt you,” his voice is begging me to hear him, to actually hear the words he’s saying.
He stares at me for a long second and when I don’t respond he speaks again. “I know that what happened to you left a scar, but that doesn’t have to define your whole future. You don’t have to be scared anymore, Duchess. Believe that I won’t hurt you and give yourself the chance to see that I’m falling in love with you.”
Several long, silent moments pass, and Cam laughs a broken, hurt-filled laugh. Then he grabs his cut and boots and walks away. The moment the front door shuts, my tears start and eventually I fall to the bed and cry myself to sleep.
Five weeks later
It’s been five long weeks since I spoke to Cam. The last words between us changed everything. They should have been the start of something, but instead they felt like the end before anything had even begun.
He told me he was falling in love with me and I said nothing. It’s not that I don’t have feelings for him too, I do. I just don’t know exactly what they are yet.
After the way I behaved toward him I didn’t expect to see him for a while, but the very next night he climbed into my bed and wrapped me in his arms. The joy at him being there, that he’d come for me, was so overwhelming that I couldn’t say a word. Tears filled my throat and instead of speaking, I just buried myself into his chest and silently cried myself to sleep.
In the nights that followed, I tried to speak to him several times, but he didn’t respond and that’s the way it’s been ever since. He comes to me every night, he holds me all night long, but he’s gone before I wake up in the morning.
I wish I could find the words to make this better, but I can’t. I don’t know what to say to him. I want to tell him that I want him, that I need him, that he fills the dark parts of my soul with wa
rmth and light, but whenever I start to speak nothing comes out.
Everything would be easier if I didn’t have to see him, but since that night he’s everywhere. K.C.’s price for the renovations was great, so they started work that same week on my new house. Every day that I was at the new place tending the garden or painting the rooms that didn’t need any work, he was there silently watching me. He never speaks, but he never goes away either.
Despite the ongoing tension between Cam and I, everything else is going really well. My business is thriving, and my life is full. For the first time since I ran from my parents, I have a real home and a family again. I have friends and a beautiful new house, everything Cam accused me of hiding from.
The day Grits and I got drunk, Anders had welcomed me to the family and he’d meant it. I never thought I’d want to be part of a family again, but the Sinners aren’t your typical family. Grits and Anders have completely taken me under their wings and now treat both Dove and I like the children they never had. After two years basically alone, it’s taken me some time to deal with having people who care about me and are so invasive with that affection.
The Sinners have invaded every aspect of my life and instead of hating it I’m surprised that I actually enjoy their company. I finally moved the last of my stuff into the new house and today I officially moved in. The cool evening air wafts through my hair as I sit curled in one of the Adirondack chairs on my back patio. I feel settled and at home. I’ve hated this town for so long I never thought I could be happy here, but as I sit looking at dancing flames in my fire pit, I think I really could be.
“Knock, knock,” Park calls as he opens the gate and strolls into the backyard.
“Hey,” I say as his newly dyed, blue spiked hair pops around the corner.
“Hello, love, how’s the new pad?”
I can’t help but smile at his cheerful melodic accent, hardly even diluted by the years he’s been living in the States. “It’s fantastic. Thank you so much for all your help.”
