“I have a lot of pain. My eyes burn like the fire is still in them. My hands are useless. I hate being helpless.”
“I’m sorry God has placed this burden on you. I would take your place if I could.”
“I know that. I’m sorry my carelessness placed such a burden on you. I know you need my help in the fields.”
“Our neighbors have been lending a hand.”
“That’s nice to hear. My brothers can’t do it all, not without Joshua, but I reckon they’ll have to try. It was a bad time for Joshua to marry. They should have waited until the fall like most Amish people do.”
“Your brothers are doing fine. Joshua followed his heart and I can’t fault him for that. You will be back in the fields in no time.”
Samuel’s appetite fled. “What if I’m not? What if I’m blind forever as the doctor fears?”
“That is a bridge you can’t cross until you reach it. You must have faith that God will provide all you need.”
Faith. Did he still possess it?
“Would you like some more supper?” his father asked.
“Nee, I’m done.”
“Very well. Your mother will be up shortly.”
“She’s good company.” She didn’t make him do things he’d rather not.
“She fusses over you.”
“I can stand it. She understands that I can’t do things for myself.”
“All right. Guten nacht.”
“Good night.” Samuel realized his father hadn’t said what he intended to do about Rebecca. “Daed, wait.”
“What is it, Samuel?”
“You are sending Rebecca home, aren’t you?”
Chapter Four
Rebecca had just finished washing the last supper dish when Isaac came downstairs. He handed the bowl and spoon to her before facing his wife. “Samuel would like you to come up now.”
Anna turned her back on him and began wiping down the table. “Only if you think I should.”
“Of course you should go up. There is no substitute for a mother’s love and comfort. Have you any chores that Rebecca can help you with this evening?”
Anna turned around with her arms folded tightly across her chest. “Nothing I can’t take care of myself.”
“Anna,” he chided gently.
“Oh, very well. The gift shop needs dusting. It wouldn’t hurt to be swept out, too.”
Rebecca washed and rinsed the bowl then dried her hands on a towel. “I will be happy to do that for you. Is there a broom in the building?”
Anna nodded. “There is a broom closet near the back. You’ll find what you need in there.”
Isaac smiled and nodded at her. She managed a small smile in return and went upstairs. Rebecca waited for Isaac to speak. Did she have a job or not?
He hooked his thumbs under his suspenders and ran them up and down the bands slowly. “I have spoken with my wife and with Samuel about you staying here.”
She laid the towel on the counter. “I assumed you would. They were against it, weren’t they? That’s okay. The last thing I want is to bring tension into your family.”
“Did you really pour water on Samuel to get him out of bed?”
She stared at the towel. “I did, but only a little on his feet. His sheets needed to be laundered, and he refused to get up.”
“I would have paid good money to see that.”
The laughter lurking in Isaac’s voice caused her to jerk her head up. He was grinning. She smiled in relief. “Samuel was quite upset.”
“But he got out of bed.”
She had to tell the whole truth. “He did, but he fell later when he tried to get back on his own. I don’t think he did serious damage to his hands, but I know it hurt him a great deal.”
“To try and fail is better than not trying. He and his mother both have trouble asking for help.”
“It’s a fault many of us share.”
“True. I have told them both you are staying. You must be prepared for some resistance.”
She drew a deep breath of relief. “Danki. I am prepared. Hopefully, I can convince them it’s for the best.”
“I’m sure you will. My sons need to start cutting corn. They will be in the fields all day tomorrow and I have a table that needs to be delivered to Anna’s niece. I have insisted that Anna come with me. Her niece has a new baby that we have not seen. Samuel has an appointment with his doctor in town. Would you be able to drive him?”
“Of course.”
“Goot. In spite of what my wife thinks, I believe you will be a great help to this family.”
“I hope so. I should go and clean the gift shop before it gets dark. Thank you for keeping me on.”
“Anna will show you to your room when she comes back. It is at the back of the house below Samuel’s room.”
“Goot. I should be able to hear if he falls or has trouble at night.”
“I wish I could make this easier for you.”
She fisted her hands on her hips. “Don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”
He chuckled and nodded. “I believe you can.”
Rebecca left the house and walked up the lane toward the nearby gift shop with eager steps. She was staying. She didn’t have to go home and face her mother’s constant pressure to wed John. Her mother meant well, but Rebecca wasn’t ready to wed again. She might never be. Her life’s mission now was to care for others, for the sick and those in need of help. Her mother refused to accept that.
The sun hung low on the horizon, but she had a good hour of daylight left. Behind the white board fence to her left, the family’s horses grazed in the pasture. Six big gray draft horses dwarfed a pair of cream-colored ponies munching beside them while four brown buggy horses stood nose to tail drowsing in the evening air. It was a good farm. A neat farm. The outbuildings and the fences had recently been painted. The animals looked well cared for. The corn in the field across from the horses was tall and turning brown as autumn approached. Orange pumpkins peeked through thick green leaves in a patch behind the gift shop.
She reached the small shop and went in. The door wasn’t locked. She hadn’t expected it to be. The Amish believed in the goodness of all men and rarely locked their homes or businesses. What did surprise her was that she wasn’t alone. Luke was setting up a display of birdhouse gourds just inside the door. He had more in a large box on the floor beside him. They were gaily painted in hues of red, blue and yellow.
She gestured toward them. “Those are pretty. Did you make them?”
“I may not have Samuel’s skill with wood, but I’m not without my own talent.”
His sour tone shocked her. She folded her hands in front of her. “I never thought otherwise, Luke.”
He glanced her way. “You didn’t? Aren’t you one of those who believe the drugs scrambled my brains?”
“For all I know, your brains were scrambled long before you took drugs. Where is the broom closet?”
A slow smile crept across his face. “You might be the right one to take care of Samuel, after all.”
“And why do you say that?”
He rearranged his collection to his satisfaction before turning to her. “You’ve got a quick wit and a sharp tongue. I don’t think you’ll take much guff from him.”
She saw a door behind the counter and opened it. “I don’t imagine he’ll give me much guff.”
“Oh, he will.”
She withdrew a broom and several dusting rags. “Are you worried about him?”
Luke crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the counter to watch her work as she pulled the supplies out of the closet. “Samuel is indestructible.”
“No man is indestructible.”
“He only ca
res about what is best for the family. He sees the vine, but he doesn’t see the branches. No, I take that back. He sees the branches that need to be pruned away so the vine will prosper.”
“Meaning you?” She handed him a dust rag and then began sweeping.
Luke stared at the cloth in his hand for a moment, and then got to work on the shelves filled with jars of apple butter and jams. “Samuel would like it if I left.”
“I would be very surprised if that was true.”
“You’ll see. I’ve been the thorn in his side since the day I was born.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I don’t like to do things his way.”
“I see. What if his way is the right way? He can’t be wrong all the time, can he?”
“Then I do it my way just to annoy him.”
She chuckled. “That sounds like my brudders. They fight like cats and dogs, but they love each other. Do you think Samuel’s accident has changed him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Your father is worried that it has.”
“Maybe Samuel will develop more patience with the rest of us now that he knows what it’s like to suffer.”
She stopped sweeping and leaned on the broom. “You have suffered, haven’t you?”
Luke stopped dusting. “Prison is no picnic. Neither is kicking a drug habit.”
“As one who has suffered greatly, do you now have more patience with Samuel?”
Luke gave her a wry smile. “You like to turn people’s words back on them, don’t you?”
“I like to see all sides of things, even people.”
She picked one of his gourds out of the box. “If all I could see was the inside of this house, I might think it was a dark and ugly thing. But I can see the outside is bright and pretty as a flower. Bright outside to delight the eye and attract a nesting pair of birds. Dark inside so the baby birds can sleep. Two sides. Inside, outside. Same birdhouse.”
“Samuel is hardly a gourd.”
“And neither are you. You are capable of seeing more than one side, too. Samuel is in a very dark place now. He can’t see how bright and pretty life is outside of his pain.”
She handed the gourd to Luke. “I think you understand how that feels. Samuel is going to need your understanding and your strength to help push him out of his dark nest.”
“He won’t like it.”
“Nee, he won’t. We’ll have to give him a target for his ire.”
“You?”
“Why not? I’m not part of the family. I’ll leave when he gets well or when he can convince his father to fire me. What do you say? Will you help me help him?”
“Sure. He’s going to be mad at me, anyway. He always is.”
She resumed sweeping. “Goot. What does he like to do?”
“Work. He’s always working, and he expects everyone else to work as hard as he does. The woodworking shop was his life. He had high hopes for it. He was sure he could turn it into a prosperous business. Now it’s a pile of ashes and twisted metal.”
“I heard that members of the church will rebuild it in a few weeks. Once the harvest is done.” Rebecca swept the pile of dirt into the dustpan.
“It will be the cost of replacing the machinery that will keep us from reopening anytime soon. And Samuel’s injuries. He is a genius with wood. He carves beautiful pieces. It’s a God-given gift.”
“The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. We’ll have to find a way to include him in the family business even with his limited abilities.”
“How?” Luke asked.
She opened the door, tossed out the dirt and then leaned on her broom. “I’m not sure, but the Lord will show us the way if we trust in Him.”
Luke looked around the small store. “If Father would consider adding everyday hardware items to this place, we would get more business and Samuel wouldn’t have to worry so much about expanding the furniture end of it.”
“What kind of things would you add?”
“Battery-operated lanterns. Solar-powered battery chargers. Brooms and mops. Things that won’t take up much space, but that people need all the time. Nails, screws, bolts. It’s nice to attract the tourists, but the farmers and businessmen in the community have money to spend, too.”
“It’s an interesting idea. What does your father think of it?”
“I don’t know.”
“You haven’t mentioned it to him?”
“I ran it past Samuel. He said it would be too much work for mother. The gift shop was her idea, and we should leave it alone. Samuel thinks his furniture would bring in more money. He’s probably right. Samuel is always right.”
“Interesting. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Luke. I’d also like to buy one of your birdhouses. May I have the red one? You might want to answer your phone.”
“What phone?” He tried to look innocent.
“The cell phone set on vibrate in your boot.”
His expression fell. “Look, don’t tell anyone. Okay?
Rebecca shook her head and walked out the door.
* * *
Samuel couldn’t believe his own father had turned against him.
He was still fuming the following morning as he lay in bed listening for Rebecca’s footsteps. He didn’t hear her voice. She wasn’t humming or singing today. Where was she? Wasn’t she supposed to be making sure he was comfortable? No one had been up to his room since Timothy brought him breakfast. That had been hours ago.
He shifted restlessly on the mattress. Timothy had dressed him in pants and a shirt instead of his pajamas because he had a doctor’s appointment in the late morning. It should be almost time to leave. He sat up and swung his feet over the side of the bed. He had his socks on, but he needed his shoes. It was hot, even with his sleeves rolled up past his elbows. He wanted his window opened. Where was that woman? “Rebecca!”
“What is it, Samuel.”
He jumped when her soft reply came from nearby. “How long have you been in here?”
“I came up when Timothy was feeding you breakfast this morning.”
“You’ve been standing in my room this whole time?”
“Nee, I’ve been sitting at your desk mending socks and shirts for your mother. What do you need?”
“I need you not to be creeping into my room.”
“I didn’t creep. I walked.”
“Announce yourself next time. I don’t like being spied on.”
“I can see how it would feel that way. I’m sorry. I was trying not to disturb you per your mother’s instructions.”
“Sing or hum like you did yesterday so I know where you are.”
“Okay. Are you ready to head to the doctor?”
“Who is going to help me get downstairs?”
“I am.”
“By yourself? You’re not strong enough.”
“I’m not going to carry you, Samuel. I’m going to walk down with you and lead you to the buggy.”
“What if I fall?”
“You won’t. I forbid it. Your shoes are right here. Pick up your left foot.”
He lifted his right one.
She sighed. “Luke isn’t the only one in this family who seeks to annoy others. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“At least I don’t pour water on people in their sickbeds.”
She slipped his shoe on and tied the laces. “Didn’t I apologize for that?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Then I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
He held up his other foot. She didn’t touch him. After another minute, his patience grew thin. “What are you waiting for?”
“Forgiveness.”
“I forgive you.”
/> “Is that true forgiveness?”
“What?”
“You can say you forgive someone without really meaning it. Am I truly forgiven?”
“Ja, Rebecca Miller, I have truly forgiven you for pouring water on me as long as you never do it again.”
“I’m not sure true forgiveness can be conditional, but it will do. Danki. And I have forgiven you, too.”
Forgiven him? “For what?”
“For trying to get me fired.”
“We both know how that turned out. Can I have my other shoe, please?”
“I have it right here.” She slipped it on and tied it. “There, now you are ready. The horse is hitched, and the buggy is waiting outside.”
He wasn’t ready. The thought of going down the stairs let alone riding in a buggy without being able to see was terrifying.
It shouldn’t be. They were things he’d done his entire life. Simple, ordinary things.
Like putting gasoline in the generator. He’d done that a thousand times, too.
“There is an old Amish proverb that says courage is only fear that has said its prayers. I will be with you every step of the way.” Rebecca’s soft voice sent a flush of embarrassment through him. He didn’t want her feeling sorry for him.
“Fine. Let’s get it over with.” He shot to his feet and wobbled slightly. She grasped his elbow to steady him and steered him toward the door. He struggled not to show his discomfort.
“The stairwell is directly in front of us. I’ll go down first, but I’ll only be a step below you. Keep your elbow or shoulder against the wall to help maintain your balance. Take it very slowly. If you feel weak or dizzy, just sit down on the step behind you.”
“If we wind up in a heap at the bottom, I’m going to say I told you so.”
She laughed softly. For some reason it helped steady his nerves. “The first step is right in front of you.”
It wasn’t as hard as he had imagined, but that didn’t make it any less frightening. Thankfully, they reached the bottom of the steps without incident. He took a steadying breath. “Lead on.”
“You’re doing fine.” She had his elbow again.
“I know.” He wasn’t, but as long as she thought he was, that was good.
An Amish Harvest Page 5
