For a second, the despair nearly overwhelmed him, but he hung on to one ray of hope. The stars, the blue sky, her face, they were real. His vision was recovering.
Should he tell her?
What if it was a fluke? What if that glimpse was all he ever had of her face?
He would wait to be sure before he mentioned it, but he had hope for the first time in weeks.
* * *
The morning of the workshop raising dawned clear and bright. The chance of storms never materialized. Before the sun rose, wagon after wagon began arriving loaded with lumber, ladders, well-wrapped pieces of furniture and entire families from grandparents to new babies. Englisch as well as Amish families came to share in the work.
Mary darted forward in excitement when she saw a white SUV turn in. Hannah clapped her hands. “That’s Papa Nick and Mammi Miriam. I hope they brought Bella.” She ran after her mother, and Rebecca watched a happy reunion take place between the child and a big yellow dog.
Buggies and carts continued to come and soon a long line of them bordered the driveway. The corrals were crowded with horses and the lawn was overrun with children, while the men set up long trestle tables and tents and the women brought out mountains of food.
The foundation of the building had been poured the week before and the concrete slab was dry. The ring of hammers filled the air as the walls were assembled. When the first one was ready, Noah brought out a team and hitched them to a rope attached to the top of the wall. At a word from Isaac, he put the team in motion. The animals leaned into the collars as they pulled the wooden structure upright aided by a dozen men leveraging long poles. The poles were then braced into the ground to hold the wall steady until it could be secured. The adjoining wall went up the same way, and by noon, the skeleton of a building was standing where only empty ground had been the week before.
At Samuel’s suggestion, the building site had been moved closer to the highway to make deliveries of lumber easier. A gravel parking lot would be added for cars and trucks when the building was complete.
Rebecca stared at the building being finished before her eyes by an army of men swarming over it. Soon the siding would go on and the young boys would be recruited to start painting. Where was their furniture buyer?
Mary came to Rebecca with a tall Englisch woman at her side and introduced her as her adoptive mother, Miriam Bradley. Rebecca shook her hand. “I’m pleased to meet you.”
“Mary tells me you are interested in working with us in Hope Springs. We’d love to have you.”
“Truly?”
“Mary tells me you’ve done a lot of lay nursing already. I can’t guarantee you a job, but I can promise you an interview with our doctors. Just show up.”
Glancing toward Samuel handing boards to others from the back of a wagon, Rebecca hesitated. She cared so much for him. The longer she stayed the more her love would grow. She turned to Miriam. “I’ll be there as soon as I can get a bus ticket.”
“Wonderful.”
Rebecca worked beside Anna as they got ready to serve lunch to nearly one hundred people. She tried to keep her mind on her tasks, but she couldn’t keep her gaze away from the highway. Where was Mr. Clark? Why wasn’t he here yet? Had he found another carpenter to supply his needs?
An Englisch fellow with a gourd birdhouse under his arm strolled up to Anna. He was wearing faded jeans and a green plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He had a tool belt on and wore a pair of worn work boots. “Are you the woman I see about buying one of these? I took it off the tree out by the highway, but it didn’t feel right to leave the money there. Aren’t you afraid someone will steal it?”
Anna smiled at him. “If they do, then they need the money much worse than I do. All the birdhouses have been paid for, and all the money has been there each morning when I check. If you treat people honestly, they will behave honestly.”
He handed over several bills. “That is an interesting philosophy. I’m not sure it’s one my stockbroker could live by, but I think you’re right.”
“Bless you for coming to help my family rebuild.”
“It’s been my pleasure. I’ve always wanted to attend an Amish barn raising. This was as close as I could get. It felt great to pound some nails. It’s been a while. The craftsmanship going into that simple building is amazing. I think it will be standing long after I’m gone.”
“God willing, sir. God willing. Let me fix you a plate of food. You must be hungry after all your work this morning.”
“I am. Thank you.”
Rebecca looked again toward the road. Samuel stood beside his father at the end of the driveway. Noah and Timothy were patting each other on the back and grinning.
Anna handed the workman a plate piled high with fried chicken, fresh corn on the cob and creamy mashed potatoes. He smiled broadly at the sight. “My cardiologist would have a heart attack just looking at this.”
“Hard work deserved goot food. I’m Anna Bowman.”
He nodded. “I’m James Clark, and you have some fabulous pieces of furniture assembled here, Mrs. Bowman.”
Noah came charging through the crowd and skidded to a stop beside his mother. He whispered something in her ear. Anna’s eyes brightened at his words. She slapped her hands to her face. “God be praised. Praise His holy name.”
Chapter Thirteen
Samuel sat with his family at the kitchen table late that evening. He was bone tired but too excited and happy to head to bed. “Rebecca’s plan was a success. Mr. Clark not only liked what he saw in furniture, he liked the layout of the workshop and made some excellent suggestions about tools and equipment that could be purchased at a later date.”
“When the contracts are signed, we will have orders for twenty-five pieces worth hundreds of dollars and the promise of more work once the website and online catalog are updated.” Timothy sounded happy enough to jump for joy.
“It was a long day, but a goot one,” Anna said with a deep sigh.
Noah held up his left hand. “My thumb is sore.”
Luke laughed. “You are supposed to hit the nail with the hammer, not your thumb.”
“Ha, ha. Yours is black-and-blue, too.”
“Because some fool stepped on it when I was climbing the ladder.”
“Who are you calling a fool?” Timothy demanded.
“Was that you? I could’ve fallen to my death if I had lost my grip.”
Samuel removed his dark glasses and rubbed his eyes. “You couldn’t have fallen to your death. You were standing on the ground at the time, and you stuck your hand right where Timothy was coming down.”
“How did you know I was standing on the ground?” Luke grumbled.
“Actually, I saw the whole thing.”
His brothers chuckled at the joke. Samuel folded his glasses and tucked them in his pocket. “You have some mashed potatoes on your dress, Mother.”
“Do I?” She brushed at her chest. “I always end up with something down the front of me.”
Noah’s eyes grew round. “Do you really see the potatoes, Samuel?”
“What?” Anna stopped cleaning the spot and gazed at her son. “Are you making a joke?”
“I can’t see everything. It’s like looking through the bottom of a canning jar, but I can see you.”
Everyone began talking at once. Anna broke into tears. When the first rush of astonishment died down, Luke waved his hand in front of Samuel’s eyes. “How many fingers do you see?”
“Five and they need to be washed.”
“When did it come back?” Isaac asked.
“Last night. I was down by the river talking to Rebecca and I saw her face for a second before everything went dark again. Actually, I had seen flashes before, but they were so painful I didn’t know what was happening. When I w
oke up this morning, I could see where the window was, but not much else. On and off throughout the day it would come and go. About seven o’clock, it stopped fading to gray and stayed bright. I’ve been waiting for it to go away again, but it hasn’t. I didn’t see the potatoes until just now, Mamm.”
He wished Rebecca were here to share his joy.
“God is great, and God is good.” Isaac declared. “Let us bow our heads and give thanks for the many blessings we have seen today.”
Samuel voiced his deepest fear. “I don’t know if I’ll still be able to see when I wake up tomorrow.”
“That bridge cannot be crossed until you reach it, Samuel.” Isaac bowed his head and the entire family followed his lead.
The next morning, Samuel reluctantly opened his eyes and focused on the ceiling above him.
“Well?”
He turned his head to the side and saw all four of his brothers seated beside his bed. “Your faces are the scariest things I’ve ever seen.”
They all grinned.
“What’s on the agenda for today?” Noah asked. “Harvest is over. The workshop is built but we don’t have enough lumber to start anything. I say we go fishing down at the river.”
“Seconded.” Joshua raised his hand.
Samuel sat up and stretched. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so well or felt so strong in the morning. “You guys will have to go without me. I’ve got something I have to do first.”
“He’s got to go see Re-bec-ca. I smell a romance.” Timothy winked.
Joshua’s grin faded. “I’m not sure Rebecca is still here.”
Samuel let his arms fall to his sides. “What do you mean?”
“Mary said Rebecca was leaving on the bus today. She’s joining Mary’s mother at the special needs clinic in Hope Springs.”
“She wouldn’t go without saying goodbye.” Samuel glared at his brothers. “Get out of here. I’ve got to get dressed.”
* * *
Packing took less time than her breakfast, and that had only been a cup of coffee.
Rebecca folded her last pair of socks and put them in the suitcase. She owned four work dresses and two good ones. The deep blue one she was wearing at the moment was her Sunday best. She would wear it on the bus. Kapps, aprons and assorted articles of clothing went in next.
With each addition to the pile, she grew less and less certain that she was doing the right thing.
How was Samuel today? Was he happy with the success he had achieved? Were his eyes bothering him? Had he had any more spells? Was he taking care of himself or was he ignoring her advice to wear gloves?
Did he miss her the way she missed him?
That was a foolish question.
They were all foolish questions. Samuel wasn’t her patient anymore. He was a friend. They would wave when they saw each other on the road. He might speak to her when she served his meal after church, but their lives would drift apart. The closeness they shared would fade. It had to. Unless it did, she was going to be miserable for many, many years.
“Rebecca, do you want me to pack any of your books?” her mother called from downstairs.
Her mother was helping close up the house until they found someone to rent it. She hoped it would be a young couple with children. A home should have children to make it feel loved.
She heard her mother coming up the stairs. Rebecca wiped the tears from her eyes and started folding her handkerchiefs.
“What are you doing?” Samuel’s voice froze her in place. Why hadn’t her mother warned her he was coming up?
Rebecca couldn’t face him. She fought to hold back her tears and keep her voice steady. “I have a new job in Hope Springs. I’m moving there. I’m so excited.”
“You don’t sound excited.”
She cleared her throat. “I am. What are you doing here?”
“I came by to tell you the good news.”
“I heard Mr. Clark say he was going to place his orders with you. That’s wonderful.”
“My vision has come back, Rebecca.”
She closed her eyes and pressed her hands to her mouth. “I couldn’t be happier for you. That’s wonderful. God is good. I told you to have faith.”
There was a moment of awkward silence. She almost turned around, but she didn’t.
“Do you want to leave?” he asked quietly.
“I’m following my heart’s desire.”
“What about us?”
She sniffed and pressed the clothes flat in the case. “You’re well. You don’t need me anymore.”
“I reckon it’s true enough that I’m well. I can see almost as good as I used to. My hands are still tender, but I can work if I’m careful.”
She began packing her jars of herbs into her satchel. “They will get better, too. Don’t forget to rub my salve on them. It will help.”
“What potion do you have for my heart, Rebecca?”
She paused but still couldn’t turn around. She heard him step closer. The nerves in her skin sprang to life. He was so close that if she leaned back she could rest against his chest as she had done that night by the covered bridge.
“There’s nothing wrong with your heart, Samuel.”
“But there is, and you are the cause.”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“You’re hurting me now. I want to spend my life proving how much I care for you. Tell them you’ve changed your mind. Stay here. Please, don’t go.
Oh, how she longed to remain in Bowmans Crossing and be near him. Only it couldn’t be. He deserved a woman who could love him without fear. Without dread holding her back as it held Rebecca back now.
She fixed a smile on her face and turned around. “I can’t stay. I want to take this job.”
He looked stunned. Her fingers itched to caress his face, to ease his pain, but she curled them into a tight ball. His voice wavered when he spoke. “I know I can’t replace Walter, and I don’t want you to forget him. Do you care for me at all?”
“I’ll always hold our friendship dear, but my husband still holds my heart.” It wasn’t true anymore, but she couldn’t admit it.
“I’m sorry I bothered you.” Samuel turned away, but paused with his hand on the doorknob. “I bid you farewell, Rebecca Miller.”
“Goodbye, Samuel.”
When he closed the door behind him, Rebecca spun around and threw herself onto her bed. The tears she had struggled to hold back broke free, and she sobbed as if her heart were breaking. She was still sobbing when her mother came in a short time later.
“There, there. Don’t cry, child.” Mamm gathered her close and held her until her tears finally ran dry. Rebecca’s sobs tapered into occasional hiccups.
Mamm put a hand under Rebecca’s chin and lifted her face. “You refused Samuel, didn’t you?”
Rebecca sniffed and nodded. “Did he say something?”
“Nothing needed to be said. I could tell from the way the light had left his eyes that you turned him down. I hoped and prayed that you had found love again, Rebecca. I’m rarely mistaken about these things. Do you love Samuel, or has John claimed your heart?”
“I don’t love John. I’m sure of that. I’m not sure that I love Samuel, but I think I do.”
“Then why send him away?”
“When Walter died I almost died, too. I wanted to lie down on his grave and never get up. I wanted the snow to cover me and numb all my heartbreak. Living alone is better than risking such pain again.”
“Nonsense!” Her mother scowled at her.
“What if I accepted Samuel’s offer of marriage and I found I didn’t love him as I should? How unfair would that be if Walter were always between us? Samuel would grow to hate that. I had a wonderful husband, but he is
gone. My calling now is to care for others.”
“I understand fear, child. I understand that it is hard to trust that God knows best. Yes, you have suffered a great loss, Rebecca. No one can deny that, but to believe God wants you to spend your life without love is folly. Surely you believe in God’s boundless love.”
“Of course I do.”
“He loves us beyond all understanding.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I hear you saying the right things, but do you truly believe them?”
Did she? Why was it so hard to believe God would bring love back into her life and not whisk it from her?
“Rebecca you have to make a choice. Will you let love or fear rule your heart? You can give your fear over to God, or live a shadow of the life He has planned for you.”
“I rejected Samuel. There’s nothing more to say.”
“Tell me one thing. In all the days you were with Samuel, taking care of him, working to make his business dream a reality, spending time alone with him, how many of those moments did you feel Walter standing between you?”
“Never.”
“I thought so. You are the only person standing in the way of your happiness. Stop blaming Walter. Stop hiding behind your fear of loss.
Rebecca closed her eyes. She had made such a mess of things. “What do I do?”
“Find Samuel and tell him what’s in your heart. That’s all you can do. And pray.”
* * *
She didn’t love him.
Samuel took refuge from his family’s prying eyes on the banks of the river below the covered bridge. He realized as he stared into the water sweeping past that it wasn’t the best choice of hideouts. There were too many memories associated with this place.
He remembered the nights when he and Rebecca sat in companionable silence on the stone wall or teased each other with glee. He could almost hear the sound of her laughter in the gurgling water. He could feel the peace she brought him in the warmth of the sun overhead. It was impossible to imagine life without her.
What could he have done differently? What could he have said that would’ve convinced her of his love? He knew the answers. Rebecca had made her choice and nothing he said or did would change that. He prayed for her happiness even as he knew it would be a long time before he felt joy again.
An Amish Harvest Page 17
