by Valerie Parv
As a small child, she’d treated it all as a huge game. Now she saw it for what it was: a lifelong struggle against the elements for simple survival. This was emphasised by the huge water tanks dwarfing the main house. In the background, generators hummed, a further reminder that nothing could be taken for granted in the outback.
The homestead was more like a small town than a single dwelling. Around the main house were clustered dwellings for station staff as well as cattle and machinery sheds. In between were the weathered railings of the stockyards. In one yard a group of dusty-looking cattle huddled in the sparse shade of a gum tree.
She leaned against a railing and pushed her hat back off her forehead to mop her damp brow. How could she have hated the outback so much when she was a teenager? Then she had only seen the loneliness and the despair. Watching a young calf nuzzle its mother, she smiled. There was hope here, too, and redemption in winning the struggle against nature.
‘Couldn’t stay put, could you?’
She started as Bryan materialised behind her. The soft dust had muffled the sound of his boots.
‘I’m not a child to be ordered around by you. If you must know, I was revising a few memories.’
‘From your childhood?’ he surmised correctly.
‘Yes. When I was younger, all this seemed so dusty and horrible. I couldn’t wait to escape to the city.’.
‘It is dusty and horrible at times.’
She hated to admit it, especially to him. ‘But it’s exciting, as well. It’s…it’s real.’
He surprised her by nodding agreement. ‘Out here, what you have counts for less than what you are. It’s a different world.’
And a lot of good it did her to realise it now, she thought angrily. This world belonged to Bryan and Christa, not to her. ‘We’d better get to that crater of yours,’ she said, and headed for the jeep.
‘How far is it from here?’ she asked when they were under way again. This time they didn’t take any obvious road, but bumped and rattled across a paddock. Several times Jill had to jump out and open stock gates, then close them again after Bryan had driven through.
‘It’s only another few kilometres.’
‘Thank goodness.’ The work of opening and closing the gates had exhausted her. The afternoon heat beat down on the jeep relentlessly, defying the car’s cooling system. Her headache had worsened, and every bump and jolt of the vehicle was magnified through her body.
He gave her a sidelong look. ‘Your love-affair with the outback was short-lived.’
Her body was damp with perspiration, but she had to force the words out through parched lips. ‘I didn’t realise how far the crater would be.’
‘It isn’t far in outback terms. But it’s almost over now.’
Almost over. The words pierced the cotton wool which enveloped her thoughts. Her stay at Bowana was almost over. The visit to the crater was the last piece of the puzzle. There was no more reason for her to remain here. Even if she had wanted to stay, it wouldn’t work. How could she remain around Bryan, knowing the effect he had on her, when there was no possible future in it?
‘What did you say?’
‘I said we’ve arrived.’ Bryan’s words penetrated her foggy mind, but it was an effort to get out of the car. When had her limbs become so leaden?
His intense gaze raked her. ‘Are you all right?’
‘It’s probably just the heat,’ she insisted, not wanting him to think she was looking for sympathy.
He offered her a drink of water from the cooler and she drank it greedily, holding out the cup for a refill almost immediately. When the second disappeared almost as quickly, Bryan insisted that she rest in the shade before they explored the crater.
Her legs seemed to fold under her so she collapsed to the ground rather than sitting down. Perhaps she should have insisted on going on while her strength held out. Resting with her back against a tree, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to get up again.
She made a determined effort to concentrate. ‘Tell me about the crater.’
‘It equals the third largest in the world, the second being Wolfe Creek to the north of here,’ he explained. ‘Turuga wasn’t discovered until the early 1950s, although it was probably known to the locals before then.’
Forcing her eyes to focus, she took in the circular rim which began not far from their feet. They were sitting on the sloping outer wall, which rose higher than a building above the surrounding sand plain. Trees and shrubs covered the floor of the crater itself.
All around them were huge spheres coloured with the local iron oxide. ‘What are they?’ she asked, indicating the nearest of the spheres.
‘They’re called shale balls, thought to have been piled here when the meteor landed,’ he explained. ‘Some of them weigh a couple of hundred kilograms.’
‘Bigger than your average football,’ she murmured.
‘The Aboriginals have their own explanation for the crater,’ he went on. ‘They say it’s the place where the rainbow serpent emerged from the earth, the shale balls being her eggs.’
His voice seemed to recede from her like the tide as his words became a meaningless jumble. Distantly she heard the enamel mug clatter over the shale as it slipped from her fingers. She tried to force herself to her feet, shaking her head to drive away the encroaching fog.
‘Jill, what is it?’
‘I…I feel terrible.’ The ground lurched beneath her and she grasped the nearest support, which happened to be Bryan’s arm. It closed around her, steadying her, as she willed herself not to disgrace herself by fainting at his feet.
She’d bet that Christa had never fainted in her life. The thought rallied her meagre resources enough to straighten up, although Bryan kept his arm around her waist. It felt oddly comforting.
‘I’ll help you back to the car.’
He supported her stumbling progress back to the jeep, where he cleared the back seat and forced her to lie down. As she lay with her eyes closed, he soaked a cloth in water and placed it across her forehead. The coolness was blissful.
Moments later she heard him fiddling with the two-way radio, and struggled upright. ‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m contacting the flying doctor. You need help.’
She shook her head. ‘Please don’t; they’ll only tell me what I already know.’
He paled under his tan and grasped her wrist in a grip of iron. ‘What’s the matter with you?’
Shaken by the intensity of his concern, she managed a tremulous smile. She would have given a lot to think that his concern meant he cared about her, but she knew better. ‘It’s nothing serious. I caught a stupid virus that laid me off work for a while. I was warned that it takes a while to get completely out of your system.’
His expression hardened. ‘Why the hell didn’t you tell me you’d been ill?’
She pressed the compress against her forehead, the coolness reviving her a little. ‘My doctor said I was over the worst. All I have to do is get some rest and avoid stress.’ Which was hardly what she’d been doing.
He looked angry enough to break her in two. His fingers flexed as if he could barely keep his hands off her, and not for any purpose she’d welcome. ‘You are without doubt the most stupid female I’ve ever met.’
In her weakened state, his attack was enough to bring tears to her eyes. ‘Now listen—’ she began in a choked voice.
His hands clasped her shoulders and he hauled her close. ‘No, you listen. You may think that life is a game, but out here it’s precious.’
‘Even my life?’ she asked, doubting it where he was concerned.
The expression in his eyes was unreadable. ‘Oddly enough, it is,’ he said, sounding strained. ‘It isn’t something I expect you to understand. You’re too busy being Superwoman.’
CHAPTER NINE
JILL had never felt less like Superwoman as she endured the trip back to Bowana. For most of the journey she floated in a twilight world between sleep and wakefulne
ss, hardly aware of her surroundings. When Bryan insisted on leaving the jeep at Turuga Homestead and flying back to town in a light plane belonging to the station, she protested weakly about not wanting to be a nuisance, but he over-ruled her.
‘For once you’ll do as you’re told.’
He was furiously angry, and it was beyond her confused state to work out why. She’d only tried to do what he wanted. Why was he so annoyed with her?
When she heard him radio ahead and ask for someone to meet the plane, she knew better than to object. This was yet another facet of Bryan McKinley, a grim-faced, take-charge man who looked as if he would kill anyone who stood in his way.
Even so, she drew the line at using the wheelchair which an attendant wheeled up to the plane. She allowed Bryan to help her on to the tarmac, but stood her ground when he tried to steer her any further.
‘I’m all right, honestly. I’d rather walk.’
The attendant directed a questioning look at Bryan, who dismissed him with a nod of his head and a murmured thank-you. Shrugging, the man wheeled the chair back inside the single-roomed terminal.
‘You will let Dr Brennan take a look at you.’ It wasn’t a question. She sensed she’d have a fight on her hands if she refused.
‘All right, but he’ll only confirm what I’ve told you. I’ve been overdoing things a bit.’
‘A bit?’ His anger exploded in the two words. ‘Spending hours in the library researching then insisting on trekking all over the bush is hardly “a bit”.’
A shaky smile trembled on her lips. ‘All right, maybe it was too much, but I enjoyed myself. I didn’t realise it was taking such a toll.’
He led her to a station wagon parked in the car park, probably also conjured up while they were in the air. She collapsed into the front seat thankfully. It had taken all her remaining strength to walk from the plane to the car.
Driving towards town, he glanced at her white face. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were on sick leave when I found you at Wildhaven?’
‘I didn’t want you to think I was evading my responsibilities. I wasn’t looking for sympathy.’
His grip tightened on the steering-wheel. ‘Of course not; you wouldn’t know what to do with it. I think you had another reason for keeping the truth from me.’
She looked away. It wouldn’t be hard for him to work out why she had agreed to come. His threat to foreclose on her brother’s mortgage had been the catalyst, but she couldn’t deny the powerful attraction she’d felt for him at that first meeting. He had drawn her irresistibly. Did he suspect how she felt?
‘You knew I’d find out the truth eventually,’ he went on. ‘No doubt you thought it would be fun to make even more of a pest of yourself than the column had already done.’
This was the last thing she expected. Hurt, she retorted, ‘How? By ruining my own health?’
His mouth tightened into a grim line. ‘It does seem illogical even for you. So why didn’t you tell me?’
Closing her eyes, she let her head drop back against the leather head-rest. ‘I didn’t think you’d believe me.’
‘Am I such a tyrant?’
She kept her eyes shut. ‘No, but you were furious with me for writing the column. I was sure you’d think I was malingering if I told you why I was on leave.’
‘I probably would have,’ he agreed, his voice hard. ‘But surely your doctor in Perth would have backed you up?’
‘I wasn’t thinking too clearly at the time. Besides, the job you wanted me to do didn’t seem too stressful.’
Neither had it been until the attraction between them had flared into passion. The job was stress of a different kind, and she could have coped with it. Finding out that he considered himself engaged to Christa had done more damage, she accepted.
They completed the short journey in silence. The doctor was waiting when they arrived at Bryan’s house, and frowned when he saw her on her feet.
‘You’re not related to Bryan, by any chance?’
Her puzzled look flickered to him, then back to the doctor. ‘No, why?’
‘I wondered if your stubbornness is genetic.’
Bryan’s refusal to leave them alone while the doctor checked her over added weight to the doctor’s theory. He compromised by letting Bryan wait on the veranda outside the French windows while he completed his examination.
‘I tried to tell Bryan it was a stupid virus,’ she said when the doctor pulled his stethoscope away from his ears.
‘You’re taking this far too lightly,’ he cautioned, wagging a finger at her. ‘Unless you look after yourself, you leave yourself wide open to further illness. Surely you own doctor made that clear?’
She gave a shuddering sigh. ‘She did—quite graphically, in fact. Taking a holiday in the country was her idea.’
‘I’m sure she didn’t have sunburn and heat exhaustion in mind.’
Jill gave a weak laugh. ‘Her prescription was more like “plenty of rest and no stress”.’
When Dr Brennan began to prepare a syringe she pulled a face, but let him administer the vitamin injection he advised. Anything which helped her get back on her admittedly wobbly feet was welcome right now, and she said so.
It was Dr Brennan’s turn to frown at this notion. ‘You’re going nowhere for the time being, young lady. Unless it’s to a hospital if you don’t cooperate. I’m prescribing at least a week of R and R with no stress or exertion of any kind.’
Collapsing against the pillow, she watched the doctor repack his bag. When he had gone, she viewed her situation with dismay. Given Bryan’s contempt for her, he would be furious to have her inflicted on him for a week, when she could do no useful work on the project.
When he returned after seeing the doctor out, his expression was as unyielding as granite. His eyes were dark with barely restrained anger.
‘What the hell do you think you were doing, roaming around the outback when you were less than fit?’
It was on the tip of her tongue to remind him that he had insisted on taking her to see the crater, but that would be begging the question. Why hadn’t she told him that she was still recovering from the effects of a virus? Was it because he already made her feel so ridiculously feminine and vulnerable that she hated to add to the feeling?
‘I thought I was fit. I’m sure this is only a passing thing. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.’
His mouth tightened into a grim line, and steel glinted in his sardonic gaze. ‘Not according to Dr Brennan. It seems you’re to stay put for at least a week.’
A week when she couldn’t be of any use to him, except as an unwanted responsibility. ‘At least I can continue my research while resting,’ she volunteered, her eyes flashing a challenge which he met with unwavering ferocity.
‘No.’
It was said with such brutal finality that she felt driven to respond. ‘That’s it, Bryan? Just a flat no?’
‘You heard me. The doctor’s orders are to rest, and rest is what you will do.’
‘If it kills me,’ she muttered savagely. It was fairly clear that he intended her to make as speedy a recovery as possible, the sooner to be rid of her.
‘If the virus doesn’t, I may,’ he responded to her muttered comment. ‘You are without doubt the most intractable female I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter.’
Her head came up. ‘Because I wrote the truth about you in my column?’
‘Because you care so little for your own wellbeing.’ He loomed menacingly over her until she wondered if he meant to shake her, but it was only to adjust her pillows. ‘At least the doctor’s vitamins have put some colour into your cheeks,’ he observed tautly.
It was more probably caused by his nearness, she thought. At his glancing touch, the blood began to pound in her veins and her sensitised skin was flooded with prickles of exquisite awareness.
Unwillingly, she recognised that her foolishness in keeping her convalescent state from him had put him at risk, too. He looked drawn after the
long drive and the mercy flight, although the light of battle lit his dark eyes. Fine lines radiated out from his eyes and deepened to valleys on either side of his mouth. Smoothing them away with her fingers was a disturbing temptation. With an effort, she kept her hands on the bedclothes.
Before she could say or do anything else to incur his displeasure, Christa burst into the room. ‘I met the doctor outside the house. What’s this about Jill collapsing at Turuga?’
‘It’s nothing, really,’ Jill insisted.
Bryan’s eyes narrowed. ‘Nothing but the aftereffects of a serious illness which require her to rest here for at least a week.’
A look of dismay coloured Christa’s delicate features. ‘A week? But Jenny’s getting married in four days. We promised to be there.’
‘You promised, not me,’ he said, sounding as if they’d had this discussion before. ‘Jenny is an old friend of Christa’s,’ he explained for Jill’s benefit.
‘Then you must go. I’ll be fine by myself,’ Jill insisted.
Christa grimaced. ‘The wedding is in Perth.’
‘Oh, dear.’
‘Indeed. So you can see why it’s not convenient to have an invalid on my hands this week.’
‘Jill is not an invalid, and I thought I was the one being inconvenienced,’ Bryan intervened. ‘It is my house, after all.’
‘Of course, dear. I forgot my place for a moment. It won’t happen again.’ With a fierce look which belied her meek words, Christa flounced out of the room.
Jill threw back the bedcovers.
Bryan was beside her in an instant, forcing her back on to the bed. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’
‘Getting up. I can’t let my stupid weakness come between you two.’
Effortlessly he grasped both her wrists in one hand and pinned them to the pillow over her head. ‘Let’s get one thing straight. You’re a guest in my house, and neither Christa nor anyone else has a thing to say about it, understood?’
His iron grip made a mockery of her feeble struggles. ‘It’s understood, you…you tyrant,’ she ground out through clenched jaws.
