I looked over at Keaton who shot me a wink and wiggled his finger at me. I turned back to my brother and squeezed his arm. “Oh, yeah, I’m ready.”
We took the last two steps, and Keaton came to stand at my side. He laced our fingers together and leaned down to whisper, “I am going to love you every day for the rest of my life.”
I wanted to laugh it off, to make light of the heavy feelings his words, coupled with my own emotions, inspired. Instead, I nodded and blinked back more tears. These guys were using all their word weapons to reduce me to a blubbering mess. If I knew the two of them, they probably placed a bet to see which one could make me cry first.
The minister’s words barely registered. I could only hear the beating of my heart, as I concentrated on breathing my way through the first minutes of the ceremony. My own vows, clutched in my hands, didn’t quite measure up to all the emotion building inside me. I shucked the words I’d spent weeks writing and spoke from my heart, but it didn’t feel like I said enough. I gazed up at him. “I was beginning to wonder if we were ever going to get here, to this minute, but I’m happy because today the rest of my life begins with you. I’m gonna put this perfect memory away for us in my heart, because I’ve been told this marriage thing gets tough sometimes. But this is the minute, the way we feel right now, that will pull us through. I love you, Keaton, and I always will.” I slipped his ring on his finger and smiled. Halfway there… I blew out a slow breath as joy filled me to bursting.
When Keaton slipped the ring on my finger and started talking, I stopped thinking about anything other than him and hung on his every syllable.
“Jocelyn, I promise with all of my heart to love you every day with every breath in my body, all my dreams, and with every beat of my heart. I will love you when you don’t feel lovable, and always treat you as special and rare as you are. For the rest of our lives, you’ll never have a reason to doubt that you’re the most important thing that has ever happened to me. We’re going to have a house that’s built out of love and has as many babies as you want running around inside. When you’re sick, or well, or your heart is hurt, and when you need to be protected from whatever dragons chase you, I’ll be there every minute. You are my best friend and my soul mate. For as long as I live, I’ll thank God every day for giving you to me.”
Seriously? It took hours to get to the you may now kiss the bride part of our ceremony, but when we did, Keaton drew me close and his lips caressed mine in a touch so tender, more tears threatened to fall.
I’d been waiting for that moment my entire life. Keaton belonged to me and I belonged to him. For that moment, anyway.
Chapter 15
Present July 2009
We started off the day at the bakery, like we did every single day I opened the store. I made the donuts and Simon snarfed them down as quickly as I could get them glazed, iced, or sprinkled. It amazed and annoyed me that he hadn’t turned into a one-ton law enforcement officer.
He shoved a bite of a cinnamon-sugar twist between his smiling lips, then ogled Lizette as she licked the sugar off his fingers. I looked up as the front doorbell jingled and all the adrenaline in my body surged forward. Danielle Ranier slithered up to the counter, and it all went straight to hell.
She sidled up next to Simon and reached her manicured claw out to adjust his tie. “Hi there, handsome.” Her breathy voice, slightly more than a whisper, automatically activated my gag reflex. “I’ve missed you.” She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in for one of those way too squishy hugs. Ick. Lizette strolled over and introduced herself, insinuating herself between Simon and Danielle who edged closer to one another, their attraction never having dissipated.
“Hi. I don’t believe we have met. I’m Lizette Lightener.”
Danielle chuckled. “With a name like that I would expect you to work with Simon’s momma rather than his sister.” She extended her hand. “I’m Danielle Ranier. I’ve known Simon and Jocelyn practically since we were all in diapers.”
I grimaced behind her back, but stayed in the shadows.
“I used to date Simon in high school.”
Lizette, who could hold her own in any situation, smirked back with as much sincerity. “Oh. Isn’t that nice.” She injected enough I don’t care into the statement for all to know exactly how much she did care about the intimate hug Simon shared with his ex. “I’m dating him now.”
“How fun. We should have drinks and compare notes.”
Again, ick.
“Oh, yes. We should.”
They may as well have been made of plastic for all the fake volleying back and forth between them.
“What can I do to help you? Some donuts maybe? Or a croissant?”
“I noticed Simon’s patrol car out front and wondered if he wanted to get some breakfast.” She took his bicep in her spiny fingers and gave it a little squeeze. “You were always so strong. It’s no wonder you’re the chief of police now.”
My stomach summersaulted, and bile churned, threatening to make an appearance. Simon, however, looked constipated, and my eyes flickered from Lizette to Danielle, wanting to rescue him from his discomfort, but confused as to who to send away.
His love for Danielle would have been the epic kind if the little devil in me behaved herself and left them alone. Instead, I’d hid his keys on nights he had dates with her. Lied to her about where he went and what he did. I even told Danielle that he started seeing Kelly before he did. The fight that followed broke them up. Of course, I cheered like my team won the state championship. On the other hand, I stamped the Jocelyn Shaw seal of approval on his relationship with Lizette.
I shook off the reminiscing and walked out of the back room, wiping my hands on a towel. As soon as the door whooshed shut behind me, my poor brother slouched against the counter, his chin touching his chest. He probably wondered what havoc I planned to wreak upon his relationships at that moment. “Danielle.”
“Jocelyn. How nice to see you.”
Her tone said she’d rather see a live alligator coming for her ankles. “I’ll bet.” My bet would have been she would rather have poked me in the eye with one of her fake nails than see me in person. “I heard you were back. I kind of hoped you moved to a volcano that swallowed you whole.” Childish? Maybe, but it filled me with a warm, fuzzy pleasure. My lips turned upward.
“Have you seen Keaton since we got back?” She raised an eyebrow,and cocked one shoulder.
Oh, yeah. She knew something I didn’t. I noted her use of the word we. She’d always been such an arrogant bitch. Well, the time arrived to send her back to the hole she’d skanked out of. “Actually, he asked me to marry him again.”
My little fun fact surprised Simon. His mouth dropped open and he stared at me, hurt. I shot him a look, ignoring the cloud of disbelief fogging his golden eyes. “I was going to tell you, but you were busy with the bank thing and I ended up talking to Mom.”
“You told Mom and not me?” A vein in his forehead throbbed.
Now I’d struck a nerve. “Trust me pal, it wasn’t any better for me talking to her than it is for you to know that I went to her.” My statement of pure fact did nothing to wipe the hurt from his face. “I was going to tell you,” I said again. “Seriously. Suck it up.” I couldn’t undo it now.
“Getting married again.” Danielle rolled the words around her mouth. “Did he tell you we met up in Arizona, then again in Ontario?”
I could feel, as well as see, the pure evil shadow over her. A lump in my throat blocked any sound I would have made.
“Well, I better get back to Kieran. That’s my little boy.”
She hauled Simon in for another hug, running her fingers through his hair and down his back, then waved her good-bye to me. I one fingered my response. She ignored Lizette altogether.
I stalked to the back room, locked myself in, and glazed with a vengeance until every last donut cooled, smothered in sugar. When I finished, I snatched my p
urse off the rack, dragging it half with me before the purse came free, and slammed out the back door.
I’d been at home for nearly three hours, fuming and cursing, when the phone rang. For some reason, instead of ignoring it, as I'd originally planned, I snatched the phone off the table and stabbed the answer button, wanting an outlet for my rage. “Hello.”
“Joss, it’s Mom.” She’d been crying and her voice cracked, sounding weak and weathered. “Simon’s been shot.”
“What?” I couldn’t hear over the sudden, loud ringing in my ears. “Shot?”
Simon and I didn’t have the kind of relationship where we experienced each other’s pain or heartbreak. We loved each other, but not in the weird can’t-exist-without-the-other-one kind of way. The thought always cemented my individuality, until the afternoon I almost lost him. Then I knew it was all gibberish. Functioning without Simon could never be an option for me.
“Honey, he’s at the hospital. There was another bank robbery, this time in Midland, and he walked in right in the middle.” Her voice caught on a sob. “Can you get to the hospital? Or do you want me to have Alex come and get you?”
“Is he okay?” The word shot rang through my ears. My brother? It couldn’t be possible. He just ate about a hundred donuts at the bakery. Shot? It couldn’t be real. Not my Simon. No. My mind screamed in agony, and I shook my head, hoping it would help me focus on her words.
“I just got here, but he’s in surgery. That’s all they’ve told me.”
I couldn’t think straight and ended up calling her back to find out which hospital I should go to. After hopping in my car, I drove the forty miles separating me from my brother. Mom, Alex, and I sat up all night in the waiting room as it filled with Simon’s co-workers and friends.
Keaton arrived about an hour after I got there and, without a sound, he wound his fingers through mine. I could sense his fear as much as I could feel my own, even though he murmured all the right words, and held me as my body shook and my heart trembled.
As people filtered in and out of the room, leaving for snacks or coffee or saying prayers in the downstairs chapel, I held onto Keaton and my mom, trying to think positive thoughts for my brother. Alex paced the room, from corner to corner.
“You know,” Mom began with a faraway look in her glistening blue eyes. “When you were born, Simon was much bigger than you. They kept you at the hospital an extra month, before you gained enough weight to come home. That whole month, he fussed all the time. He cried and cried, and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t imagine how I would be able to deal with two of you if you were anything like him. When you finally got to come home, he was a completely different baby. As long as you were beside him, he never cried at all. He slept through the night for the first time with you.” She wiped her eyes with a tissue. “I would wake up and go check on you and find him all wrapped around you, like a shield. It stayed like that until right around the time your dad left.” She leaned over and put her head on my shoulder. Alex, who’d stopped his laps around the room to listen to my mother, put a reassuring hand on her back.
“Mom, we have to believe he’s going to be okay.” I kissed the top of her head.
She sat up straight, staring ahead into the nothingness of a plain white wall, my words ignored as she continued. “When you were seven, you ran away from me at the shopping mall, and I was so scared. You were gone for nearly four hours. The police searched every store and every room of the mall. Simon told the police you were fine, but he was just a boy and no one took him seriously.” Her voice cracked and another tear slipped down her face, dripped onto her sweater.
“An hour or so later, the police found you in a dressing room at Sears. Sure enough, there you were with your little doll, completely unaware you were lost.”
I shared her memory of that one--my first technical grounding. The mall remained off limits to me for years after.
“That was probably the last time he ever told me where you were. He always covered for you, trying to keep you out of trouble. I was just one of those smart mommas.” Her shoulders shook violently as she leaned into Alex. “He’s my little boy.”
I didn’t have the words to make her feel better. I didn’t even try. I held her hand until she fell asleep.
Keaton handed me a cup of coffee and Alex another. “Here.”
He crouched in front of me and again pulled me close to his body. I wanted to be strong enough to pull away, to tell him to go away and leave me alone, but I needed someone to comfort me. His presence, arms around me, and whispers did it.
One of the deputies from the station came in and sat across from me, his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Joss.” His eyes were rimmed in red.
I nodded. “Did you see it happen?”
He hung his head. “Yes. He walked right in there. It was one guy. One bad guy, a gun, and Simon. You know how he is.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“He thinks he can save the world by himself. He opened the door and walked right in, like he’s some kind of superman.” Luke looked up at me. “I wanted to wait. I should have gone in, but he told me to stay there and guard the door.”
We’d all been friends since middle school, and I’d worked for his mother-in-law for years before she’d retired.
“He made me wait outside.” I couldn’t decide how to feel about it, so I remained quiet. “Then the guy started shooting.”
“Did he get away?” If he did, as long as I lived, I vowed to hunt him like a dog.
“No. I shot him on the steps of the bank.” A tear trickled down his cheek.
I could only form a single word as emotion choked around my heart. “Thanks.”
Reaching out, I held his hand until the doctor came out. I gently shook my mother. “Mom.” We stood as a tall woman in light blue surgical garb approached.
“Are you Chief Hunter’s family?”
My mother introduced herself, then me, Alex, and Keaton. Everyone in the waiting room stood. Luke put a hand on Keaton’s shoulder, steadying him while Keaton took care of me, and I held my mother’s elbow in my hand.
“I’m Dr. Fitzsimmons. I operated on your son,” she said to my mother. “Simon was shot in the head.”
Mom gasped and her knees bent. She sank into her seat.
The doctor went on to explain in technical medical jargon how the bullet tore through his brain. Without understanding much of her explanation, I knew the bleakness of the prognosis. Keaton held me up as my knees turned rubbery and the world fell out of alignment.
Mom turned to Alex, burying her head in his shoulder.
I badgered the doctor. “Okay. I get it. He’s hurt. But he’ll wake up, right? He’ll be okay?”
The doctor’s features softened with her smile. “I honestly didn’t believe he would make it through surgery, and he did. If he makes it through tonight, we’ll work on tomorrow, then we’ll continue to work on it every day after until there is some reason not to work on it anymore.” She patted my shoulder. “Don’t lose faith.”
I nodded. “Can we see him?”
“For a few minutes.”
I shook free of Keaton and led my mother down the hallway behind the doctor. The antiseptic smell of clean burned my nose, and I concentrated on it to hide from the thoughts running around my brain. What if he never woke up or never spoke to me again? I wouldn’t survive the loss of the most important person in the world to me. How would any of us go on without his smile, his charm, and all the things that made him wonderful? Life without Simon? The thought brought on a gasp I couldn’t stop. Mom squeezed my hand. “It’s okay, Joss. He’s alive.”
“I know.”
“He needs us to be strong.” Her voice cracked again, and I pointed a worried gaze at her face. “Strong.”
“Right. Got it.” I blew out a breath and nodded. “I’m good. Let’s go.”
We walked in slowly, my mouth dry, my muscles clenched, prepared for the wor
st. Simon lay still on a bed of pristine white sheets, his body covered by a blanket of the same unblemished color. My mother rushed to his side and picked up his hand, cradling it in her own, holding it to her cheek as her tears moistened his skin.
I stayed back by the door. A bandage covered most of his head and face. Only one closed eye, a part of his cheek and lips showed, the rest hid behind white gauze. I bit my lip and took a single step forward, then back again, leaning against the glass enclosure. “Shit,” I whispered, and in that single second, his heart monitor beeped an extra time.
My mother’s head jerked up to look at me. “Do it again,” she said. “Say something.”
While it may have been a coincidence, I couldn’t help but grasp for hope. “Simon, it’s me.” Again, his heart rate increased. I looked at my mother. “I don’t know what to say.”
She smiled. “It doesn’t matter what you say, just keep talking.”
The doctor put her hand on my shoulder, “Go ahead.”
I stepped closer to him. “Gosh. You look like a mummy. It would be funny but this is intensive care. I mean, not too much is funny in the ICU ward.”
My mother’s full-on crying drowned out the sound of Simon’s monitors, which beeped faster and less rhythmically when I spoke.
“Simon, I need you to wake up. I need your help. I can’t do this without you.”
His heart rate careened out of control and the doctor rushed toward him, pushing me out of the way. With exaggerated calm, she ordered the nurse to get my mother the hell out of there. My heart sank. The frantic movements, beeping machines, my brother dying before my eyes were all drowned out by the pounding in my ears and the sudden pain in my head. Dizziness washed over me as a nurse ushered us into the hallway. Without the strength to fight, I slid down the wall next to his door.
“Joss.” My mother knelt beside me. “Jocelyn, listen to me.” The pain grew inside my head. “Jocelyn!”
I squeezed my eyes shut against the ringing. A second later, I was suspended in the air, strong arms cradling my back and my knees. “Keats?” I couldn’t manage more than a whisper.
Here He Comes Again Page 12
