Callie swiped a solitary tear from her eye. It seemed that in the past few days she couldn’t help herself from tearing up now and then. Watching the tender way Ben tucked Libby into bed even now, the way he’d read to her from the Bible…the story of David and Goliath just minutes ago. These things made Callie’s heart and throat swell with ready emotion.
Truly, Max had missed out.
She’d missed out, too.
And she might continue to miss out if she stayed here. But every bit of her wanted to stay put in Boulder. In the safety of a family who’d been good to her. A man who’d been so very good to her.
“She’s all tucked in.” Ben winked, setting her pulse off-kilter.
He shut the door behind him, his nearness commissioning a flurry of activity in her stomach.
She tried for a relaxed smile, but the expression felt forced. “Good.”
“Care to join me on the back stoop before I go home for the night?” The brush of Ben’s arm as he edged past her in the hallway’s close proximity sent a shiver of delight inching through her veins.
She knotted her hands in front of her. “For what?”
He gave a long, lingering glance into the exam room, the way he usually did each night, in his silent and perceptive way, making sure all was as it should be. “Oh, just because it’s a beautiful night.” He turned to settle his half-shuttered gaze upon her. “A little chilly, but beautiful, nonetheless.”
“Sure, let me get my cloak.”
After Callie secured the front door lock and grabbed her cloak from the wood peg, she peeked in on Libby one last time. Struck again by the sweet way her little girl slept, her arm cradled around her doll.
Prying herself away from the peaceful scene, she made her way out the back door and sat down next to Ben. Though she’d left a good foot between them, she could feel his body heat permeating her in an unseen wave of glorious comfort.
She was so aware of his presence—whenever he was around. She’d even go so far as to say she craved it.
Without a doubt, she’d become far too comfortable around him.
Sighing at her irrational, wandering thoughts, she watched her breath puff into the cool night air in tiny clouds. “I’ve never really appreciated the cold months.”
“Why’s that?”
“I suppose because there was never enough wood for burning. I was always cold.” Always uncomfortable. Always seemed to be a breath away from freezing.
“Max should’ve taken better care of you. The way you deserve,” he breathed, his voice thick.
“It’s not your fault.” She wished Max, even once, would’ve taken responsibility, but for some reason he always blamed her for everything. For their lack of money, comfort, and general peace and solitude.
Ben’s gaze lingered with hers, his eyes searching, looking deep into that part of her that she’d tried so hard to protect. Then he shifted his focus and stared up at the sky, his silken eyes shimmering in the moon’s pearly light. “It always amazes me how much more stunning the sky seems on a cold, clear night.”
She tipped her head back to witness the breathtaking way radiant stars soaked the midnight-blue sky. “It is spectacular, isn’t it?”
He settled a hand at her back. “Things are as clear as they’ve ever been.” The husky timber of his voice infused the placid night air with tangible intensity.
For some reason, she didn’t think he was referring to the night sky. When he turned and settled that deep, searching look on her, she felt it every bit as much as if he’d pulled her into his embrace. Her pulse raced. Her cheeks warmed with an unwelcome blush. She averted her gaze, but not for long.
With tender affection, he set a hand to her chin and coaxed her focus back to him, her control rapidly—she swallowed hard—slipping away.
Desperate for a way out of this spiral of innate emotion, she jerked her attention back to the door. “Is that Libby I hear?”
She made to rise.
He set a hand on her shoulder, keeping her beside him. The low chuckle he gave swirled her nerve endings into a reverberating hum. “Either you’re more innocent than I thought, I’m really bad at dropping subtle hints, or you’re downright nervous about now.”
“What?” She gulped.
“Callie…” He cradled her cold hands in his. Hands that had gentled newborn babies, eased the passing of a patient and brightened the face of a cold and needy child with readily bestowed gifts. The warm, work-worn strength of his hands had been healing medicine to her. “You don’t have to be afraid.”
He imprisoned her total attention. In fact, she felt as if some unseen force held her firmly, right there, a breath away from the man she’d tried so desperately to avoid.
Yet felt such a compelling draw to know.
“When you showed up here,” he began, rubbing the pad of his thumbs gently over her hand as if to still her wild, racing heart.
It didn’t work.
“I didn’t know what I was getting into, taking you in like I did.”
“Probably more than you bargained for,” she sputtered nervously. “Oh, definitely more than I bargained for. But you were worth it.” Setting his hand under her chin, he drew her nearer. His gaze fixed on her lips, sending a quiver straight through her that had nothing to do with the cool night. “You are worth it.”
“Ben, I—”
“For the first time in a long time I’m seeing things clearly.” Like a whispered word of care, he brushed a finger across her lower lip. “I want to kiss you, Callie.”
She struggled to take in the thick air caught between them.
He inched closer, a half breath away. “So if you have any objections, you better let me know now.”
Her breath hitched. Held. Her pulse whooshed like steady waves through her head in an innate and age-old rhythm.
He settled his mouth against hers, a warm and tender claim.
Closing her eyes, she reveled in the moment. In the heady, cherished feeling.
His breath passed through her parted lips as if to infuse her vulnerable heart with hope and promise and whatever else he had to give her. His trembling hands rose to frame her face. She heard the breath catch at the back of his throat. Felt the rapid beat of his heart as he pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss that threatened to be her undoing.
“I think I’m falling in love with you, Callie.” His words filtered through her like warm fire.
Her eyes snapped open. “Ben…”
He drew just slightly away from her and stared down into her eyes with a deep, poignant look that had her quaking from the inside out. “I never thought I’d hear myself say that. I was content being a bachelor.”
Bracing an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her close to his side. “I want to take care of you.”
The mellow, soothing cadence of his voice and his inspiring presence roused her long-forgotten dreams. Dreams of a shared love that could boldly withstand the winds of change, the storms of life and the drought that could strip a life bare. Love that could convey a thousand heartfelt sentiments without uttering a word.
He pressed a slow, warm kiss to her head. “I want to make sure you don’t ever lack for anything, ever again, Callie.”
It was too much to withstand.
When he brushed his cheek against her forehead, her heart slammed against her chest. “I want your daughter to be raised in a good, solid home.”
And would be way too much for her daughter or for Callie to ignore.
She hugged her arms tight to her chest, trying desperately to maintain control, but it was nearly impossible. His loving words, his gentle touch and his passion called to some long-ago, buried desire deep within her heart.
He was so good. Too good.
Too nice.
Too gentle.
Too strong.
Too willing to love Callie and her little girl. Too willing to promise things she’d dreamed of, but never had.
“I want to give you the world.” His whispe
red words against her head set her hair on end.
Max—he’d said that… I want to give you the world.
She could barely breathe as she remembered how he’d waxed eloquent with all of his talk of adventure and love and lifelong devotion, and at the first hint of challenge a few months after they’d married, he’d abandoned every pledge.
And now Ben, Max’s flesh and blood, made the exact same pledge.
She’d vowed never to make herself vulnerable again, and here she was, lapping up Ben’s nurturing words as if she were some hungry kitten lapping up a bowl of rich cream.
Before she lost any more of her heart and resolve, she sprang up from the step and darted back inside. Closing the door, she locked it, wishing she could just as easily lock out the wholly consuming feelings that rocked her entire being.
Making her way to where her daughter slept soundly, she tiptoed across the room, berating herself that she’d so easily fallen prey to Ben’s intoxicating presence, just as she had with Max. While she stared down at the peaceful, content way Libby slept she felt desperate to escape the compelling draw before he so completely won over Libby that the girl would never want to leave. Before he snatched away Callie’s freedom—just like Max had done.
“Looky what we have here.” The sound of Lyle White side’s low, gravelly voice coming from the alleyway brought Callie to a faltering stop.
And immediately blocked out the sun’s warmth.
“You’re looking real nice, Callie. All gussied up. You didn’t go working for somebody else, did you?”
She made a slow turn, bracing herself for the man’s snapping black eyes to land on her like a vulture’s sharp talons to prey. She’d never met anyone who could wound so with a mere look. It was his way—with the girls back at the brothel and with any other poor soul who dared cross him or owe him.
“But I’m disappointed.” He lunged out of the shadows. Crowded her close. “You walked out on our agreement.”
Callie willed her hands to stop trembling, her stomach churning at the scent of his stale breath. “No. Of course I didn’t.”
She wished now that she hadn’t parted ways with Ben and Libby a block back. While Libby had shadowed Ben into the mercantile, Callie strolled down the street to the milliner’s shop. After what had happened last night, when Ben had kissed her and made the declaration he had, she’d jumped at any chance to be as far away from him as possible.
Whiteside drew a hand up to her face and snagged a lock of her freshly washed hair between his thumb and forefinger. He rubbed it as if inspecting it for some clue.
She half expected him to sniff it.
His thin lips tipped in a sardonic smile. “Sure you made an agreement. Remember?”
She refused to let him intimidate her. “I didn’t agree to anything more than paying back the debt. And I intend on doing that.”
“But we agreed that you could get that done faster on your back.” He trailed his meaty hand down her cheek to her arm. “And then I come to find out that you up and left.”
Callie clutched her reticule tight to her chest, mentally tallying the amount she’d saved so far. She could give him what she had, but the amount was still not enough. And if she was going to leave Boulder as she’d decided last night, then she’d have nothing with which to make her way.
She slid back a step. “I left you a note.”
“I didn’t find a note.” He nailed her with one of his deceptively nice, understanding kind of looks.
Callie struggled to stay composed instead of flinching as she often had in his presence. She forced herself not to run. “I wrote you a note explaining everything.”
“Notes aren’t my way, Callie. You should know that I perform most of my business with my mouth.” He laughed at his own sick sense of humor while she fought off the urge to vomit all over his shiny shoes.
She’d never do what he asked. Even if a girl stooped to that low a level and paid him back by sacrificing herself, she’d never find her way back to freedom. And Callie would never, ever allow that. She had Libby now, and would do whatever it took to keep her daughter safe from the likes of Lyle Whiteside.
She forced her gaze to meet his. “I’ll have the rest for you by the beginning of December.”
Shaking his head, his large jowls jiggled.
“I will.” She grabbed the sleeve of his expensive coat before she thought better of it. “I’ll have the whole debt paid off by then. I promise.”
He looked down at where she held his coat then seized her hand and squeezed so hard that Callie stumbled forward against him. “Why would I want to wait when I could be getting my money’s worth by having you pay on your back now? You’d have that debt paid off in no time, Callie. Just think, you’d be free to do whatever you wanted.”
“Please.” She pried his fingers loose from her hand, trying to hide her discomfort from an older couple passing by. Not wanting to be any kind of embarrassment for Ben, she smiled as though she was enjoying the present conversation. “You’ll have the rest soon.”
“The men might even front a good sum for you, the way you’re looking.” He raised his bushy brows. His beady eyes sank into his thick, red-blotched face as he held her hands out to the side, looking her up and down in a leering perusal. “If you do well, I might even throw in a bonus. Maybe a fancy new dress or two, instead of this awful get-up you’re wearing.”
“I like the dress I have on just fine.”
“Come now.” With stealthy precision, his hands slithered up to part the cloak Ben had purchased. “You can’t be serious.”
“Of course I am. This dress is lovely. And appropriate.” Forcing the bile back down her throat, she met his gaze. “And I won’t do what you’re asking. I’ll have your money for you, but not like that.”
The way he shoved her away from him, as if he were done playing with a toy, almost sent her into a wild frenzy. He’d do that to his girls, toying with them then leaving them unsure of their status with him. It was his way.
But Callie refused to let him see that, deep down, her insides churned with raw fear. Not for herself, but for Ben and for her daughter.
“You have two days.”
“Two days? But I’ll never be able to—”
The smile he gave her stopped her midsentence, and sent an ominous chill down her back.
Would God allow another tragedy to befall her? Did He even hear her when she called to Him?
Would she ever truly be free from the stain of her husband’s past?
Two days? There’d be no way she’d have the rest of the money for Whiteside by then. And she couldn’t—wouldn’t—ask Ben for an advance on her salary. She couldn’t imagine staying in Boulder after the proclamations Ben had made. Doing so could risk repeating history, and she didn’t know if she could withstand the trauma of that again.
In spite of her vow never to make herself vulnerable to another man again, her feelings for Ben were so strong and real. Whiteside’s appearance today only secured her future for her, leaving her with no choice. Either she could flee with her daughter in tow and her integrity intact, or she could stay and risk losing everything she’d struggled so hard to gain.
Tipping his hat to her, Whiteside pinned her with a grave and biting glare. “I’ll see you in two days. If you don’t have the rest by then, you’ll be doing far more than just talking.”
Seeing is believing.
Only this was one thing Ben hadn’t wanted to believe.
Was she turning a trick right here under his nose? Or was this some nefarious brute from her past trying to bag her now? She certainly hadn’t seemed as if she’d minded the interchange.
His heart sank low. His stomach dipped to meet it.
Furious, he turned and stalked back toward the mercantile to retrieve his packages and little Libby, whom he’d left in the care of Mrs. Heath, trying to decide which flavor of candy stick she wanted.
Five minutes ago he’d felt about as confident as he could about the f
uture. Sure Callie had run inside last night after the kiss, but he could understand her wariness, and was determined to give her plenty of understanding. But now he had serious reservations about the next few minutes, let alone the upcoming day.
Moments ago, he’d stepped outside to make sure Callie didn’t need anything from the mercantile, when he’d been brought to a heartbreaking halt in his tracks.
The way his blood still pulsed with hot energy through his veins made it clear that he’d seen enough, all right. He’d stared in stunned disbelief at where Callie had stood near an alleyway a good block away, in front of some man Ben didn’t recognize.
All of this time Ben hadn’t wanted to believe that she had a sordid, secret past.
Striding up the stairs to the mercantile platform, he clenched his jaw in a silent admission…he’d been fooling himself. That had been made painfully apparent to him when the man had reached out to touch Callie, and she didn’t move away. Didn’t even seem to flinch when he’d stroked her face and arm in a very forthright manner, as if they’d shared some kind of long-standing, intimate past.
As soon as Ben had spotted the two of them clustered together as if they were lovers, the hair on the back of his neck had stood on end. He’d been close enough to notice she didn’t rebuff the well-dressed man’s touch.
As she had Ben’s.
His gut churned with outrage and sadness.
Aaron was right. His brother had tried to warn him, several times in fact, but Ben had refused to believe Callie capable of living that kind of life. Pure and simple, Ben was just too trusting. And now, it seemed, he’d been burned.
Just last night, he’d embraced her. He’d relished the feel of her petite frame protected in the shelter of his arms. He’d kissed her, cherishing the way her soft lips melted to his. And he’d fallen over himself, declaring the things he had. Thank goodness she’d run back inside before he could ask her to marry him.
She had secrets, all right. Secrets that he’d be darned if she’d keep from him even one more day. Her little girl deserved more. Callie deserved more. But as long as she consorted with her secretive past, she’d never know how it could feel to step boldly into the future.
Rocky Mountain Redemption Page 18
