Maggie loved the room that Jared had for her in his house. It was not something that he’d had when I’d been there two weeks prior. She loved the canopy bed, the toys and stuffed animals that were waiting for her, and the books that filled two children-sized bookcases. The floor was hardwood and no one could miss the giant furry rug that covered a 10x12 section of the room, and it was the first thing that Maggie went to after she got through the initial few moments of shock.
As she stretched out on her stomach over the rug, I turned to Jared and asked, “So is this why you asked me what colors are good for a girl’s room? I thought you were talking about our new house.”
He grinned and replied, “Yes, I took advantage of the fact that you’d assume that. So what do you think?”
I returned my eyes to the room as Maggie wandered over to the toy shelves. “It’s beautiful. Your interior designer knows what little girls like.”
“Pssh, really? You doubt that I could do this myself?”
I looked at him with surprise. “Uh, did you?”
“It just took paint and…buying stuff, I guess. Not hard.”
“Not hard? Well at least you know how to coordinate things.”
He laughed. “You gave me the color scheme and I just went with it.”
“Well it’s beautiful. Maggie’s been dying for a butterfly room. Those are really cool,” I added, pointing to the ceiling where at least a dozen colorful butterflies hung at different lengths.
He only smiled at me and said, “Hey Maggie, check this out.” He flipped off the light switch to reveal a dozen colorful butterflies that lit up in the dark.
“Whoa, cool!” I heard her say.
Jared flipped the light back on and said, “They glow for about thirty minutes or so. I tested it out.”
With a smile I said, “You did, huh. You camped out in a little girl’s room just to see?”
He shrugged and said, “Yeah, actually I did. I wanted to make sure everything was just right for her.” My heartstrings were tugged and I gave him an “Aw, that’s so sweet” kind of look. It made him chuckle and he nodded his head. “Yeah, I know. I’m soft.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my face against him. “I love you so much. You are so amazing. Every time I think about our future I just…I get butterflies in my stomach because it’s so exciting.”
He held me for a moment, even kissing the top of my head. “Do they glow in the dark?” he asked. It made me laugh and he added, “Because I think mine might be better since they glow in the dark.”
“My butterflies are the eternal kind. They will last forever.”
“Ahh,” was all he replied. But I know it affected him because I looked him in the eye and I could tell.
“Super cool!” Maggie’s voice interrupted. “Can I watch a movie?”
I turned around to see she’d opened a cupboard that I did not realize had a television inside of it. She immediately began perusing through the DVD’s that lined a shelf below it and I turned to Jared and said, “I’m not so sure about a TV in her bedroom.”
He nodded, like he knew I was going to object. “I know, I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to but I just thought that since this house doesn’t have a playroom, it might be okay for one to be in here. If you’d rather it not be in here I’ll take it out, it’s not a problem.”
“It’s fine for now. Just so there are rules that she has to follow.”
“Definitely.”
“And as long as you admit that you put it in here as a baby-sitter so we could have alone time.”
He looked alarmed at first but then he smiled when I did. “Yeah, maybe,” he agreed.
“Not a bad idea, Miller. Hey, Maggie. Why don’t we go eat dinner first, and then if you help clean up, you can watch a movie in your new room. But first, why don’t you tell Jared thank you for everything he did to give you such a nice bedroom.”
She didn’t even hesitate, and with a huge smile, ran across the room and gave him a big hug. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you—”
“Okay, munchkin, I get the idea,” he laughed.
They continued to talk about her new room as she remained in his arms and he carried her downstairs to the kitchen.
Later that night Maggie insisted that Jared read to her, so he went upstairs with her while I cleaned up a little more and unpacked a few of our things. I knew she’d talk him into reading several books, so I had plenty of time to plan for a special night with my fiancé. He didn’t have a single candle or anything romantic whatsoever in his room, so I’d taken the initiative and brought a few of my own additions. I hoped that he would be able to leave Maggie sound asleep, but I had to plan for the opposite just in case.
I stopped in the doorway to her room as I listened to Jared read “The Giving Tree.”
“And every day the boy would come,” his voice read even softer than before. He paused for a moment as he silently closed the book, seeming to study Maggie at the same time. When he slowly got off the bed I could see her face, and thankfully her eyes were closed. He stood and went to turn off the lamp, and he glanced up at me with a tiny smile just before he switched it off. He quietly made his way across the room and stopped in front of me. “I thought she would never go to sleep,” he whispered. “I think I read about seven or eight books.”
He gently pulled the door closed and I replied, “Because you’re a sucker for brown-eyed girls.”
He barely chuckled. “You got that right. But mainly just one brown-eyed girl in particular.” He placed his hands against my neck when I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Mm, and she smells good,” he said softly as I kissed him.
“And she’s been waiting a long time for you to join her for grownup bedtime stories.”
That made him smile again as I led him a few steps down the hall. “Please let them be stories we act out,” he murmured to himself.
It was my turn to laugh and we stopped in front of his bedroom door. I pulled him close to me so I could kiss him again, and just that few seconds of passion—eager but soft—set the tone nicely when it led us into the room.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
My heart was pounding from a sound that must have woken me up. I didn’t realize what it was until Jared got out of bed and I asked what was going on.
“The buzzer to the gate,” he replied as he threw on a t-shirt with his shorts. “Don’t worry about it, okay? I know who it is so you can go back to sleep.” He leaned down to kiss the side of my face and then left the room.
But I was wide-awake by then, and I glanced over to the nightstand to read the clock as I turned on the lamp. It was 3:14, and the bell continued to ring. I also realized that if I’d woken up then Maggie was most likely awake. Especially since the bell was still ringing. Who in the world would show up at someone’s house in the middle of the night like that?
Maggie was already in the hallway when I stepped out of the bedroom. She looked confused as she looked around, like she wasn’t sure where she was. I didn’t bother saying anything to her since I knew she was still half asleep, so I just led her back to her bed and tucked her in again. I sat with her for a minute until I was sure she was asleep, but then I heard voices that didn’t sound too friendly and it made me curious.
I could see the downstairs from a balcony, but before I even got to it to see the main floor I heard Jared say, “Mom, this is the worst timing ever, okay? Why don’t I just call a car to take you to a hotel, okay—?”
“Don’t be such an ass, Jared. You know I hate hotels.” She moved across the foyer with a travel bag, headed for the stairs.
“I’d rather you not stay here tonight. My girlfriend is here. I just want to have a quiet weekend alone with her.”
She stopped and turned around to face him. “Which girlfriend? Amanda? Well that’s not a problem because she absolutely adores me and—”
“No, not Amanda,” he replied a bit angrily. By then I had shrunk away
from the balcony and was hidden by the wall. “You can’t just show up in the middle of the night whenever you want,” he continued. “I wouldn’t have even come to the door if—” He stopped, and I was guessing he might have said something about me and Maggie if he’d wanted to get into it.
“You weren’t going to open the door for your own mother?” she retorted. “That’s a little low, Jared. What is the matter with you?”
All I heard was a lengthy sigh and then footsteps up the stairs. Then he softly said, “The guestroom is taken. You can have Jack’s room for tonight. Second door past the kitchen. Can’t guarantee that his sheets are clean, though. Maybe the futon in the den is a better choice.”
I would have laughed under different circumstances but I didn’t. I was still outside of Maggie’s room when he appeared at the top of the stairs, so I hoped it didn’t look too bad that I was in the hallway. He kind of slowed when he saw me approach but just quietly asked, “Did she get woken up?”
I nodded and whispered, “Yeah, but she went back to sleep quickly.” We were alongside the balcony by then and I took a chance at glancing downstairs. His mom was standing there, staring up at us, but Jared just put his arm around me and led me to his room.
“I’m sorry about all of that,” he said when he shut the door behind us.
“Does she do this a lot? Did she come from Las Vegas?”
“Uh, yes and no. She’s been in San Diego or something with a friend. But yeah, occasionally she’ll drop in if she knows I’m in town. Otherwise she knows she won’t see me for a while.”
“Maybe she was hoping Amanda was here,” I said jokingly.
“Taryn, don’t even listen to that kind of stuff—”
“I’m just kidding,” I smiled, touching his elbow. He seemed to take a silent breath, but I felt like I hit a nerve. “Jared, I’m sorry. Honestly, I was joking.”
“I know,” he said, and he rubbed his face with his hands. I just watched him for a moment, feeling myself deflate slightly. Whatever it was about “Amanda” had made him edgy, and that made me nervous. But he tried to shake it off when he led me to bed and took me into his arms. I laid my head against his chest and he turned off the lamp.
I didn’t mention anything further about his mom, but Jared was up by seven a.m.—which was unusual. Being a musician, his hours were normally late to bed, late to rise. Sometimes he didn’t even sleep more than a couple hours. His thoughts hardly slowed when he had music on his mind. But lately he said he’d been sleeping more and he claimed it was because of me. He felt at peace with me in his life and it made all the difference. I once told him I never imagined I would be the reason for someone to sleep better, and although he laughed, he expressed that there were a lot of things I’d bettered in his life.
I felt grateful for that role.
I noticed he’d left his bed when I could sense that he wasn’t near me, and after blindly reaching across to his side, I opened my eyes to see that he was gone. I wondered if maybe Maggie had woken up and came to get one of us, so I made sure I was fully dressed before I stepped into the hallway. I listened for sounds first but didn’t hear any. Then I made my way to the balcony for any signs of life. I didn’t see anything either, so I was about to head to Maggie’s room just as I heard a glass be set in the sink.
I could see the kitchen when I was halfway down the stairs and that’s when I noticed Jared sitting at the counter. He didn’t seem to be doing anything but staring out the back window, and I didn’t see Maggie anywhere either.
“Hey,” I said quietly.
He looked up quickly, just as I entered the kitchen. “Hey, good morning,” he replied as I wrapped my arms around him from behind. He kissed my left arm where his lips could reach and then spun around on the bar stool to face me.
“How come you left me all alone?” I pouted.
He smiled as he pulled me close, and then kissed my pouty lips. He tasted like orange juice, and then I knew he planned on being awake for the morning and wasn’t coming back to bed.
“Sorry, I just couldn’t sleep any longer I guess.”
I smiled and said, “Well…we don’t have to sleep if that’s a problem.”
He smiled naturally, but I could tell something was bothering him. Then I remembered his mom and wondered if having her in the house still affected him.
“Uh, what time do you think Maggie will get up?” he asked.
I glanced at the clock on the microwave and answered, “Probably within an hour. But she could be awake right now and we wouldn’t know it. She’s pretty independent like that and especially with a new room she’ll most likely be playing with toys until someone checks on her.”
“Oh, so she’s probably up?” He stood and added, “I’ll check on her and then maybe…maybe the three of us could go to an early breakfast and then to, um, Universal Studios or something?”
I studied him for a second, trying to read his odd behavior. If I had to guess I would say that he was trying to get us out of the house.
“So is that why you’re down here?” I asked. “So you could intercept any kind of run-in between me and your mom, or Maggie or…”
He returned my gaze and then sighed. “Taryn, you don’t understand. It’s just… Well, you don’t want anything to do with my dad for obvious reasons, and my mom is… Well, she’s just a different set of rules altogether.”
I considered his words for a moment as I sat on a stool. “Jared, if you’d just be honest with me I would know what to expect.”
“I know, I know,” he nodded, sitting down again. “I just…don’t even know, either. She’s very… She’s just…”
“Jared, just spit it out.”
“She won’t think you’re good enough for me.”
I guess I wasn’t really surprised, but I wasn’t expecting him to say it. I understood it because so many people had pointed that out in the media—that Jared was dating/engaged to a “nobody”—but he had never cared until that moment. Yes, his mom’s premature disdain of me hurt, but only at first since he did his best to explain it to me.
“Taryn, I love you so much and nothing is going to change that,” he assured me. “You are amazing and more than I could ever expect for myself, and you’re a better person than I am. I feel so blessed to have you in my life and I can’t wait to wake up every day knowing that you’re mine for good. And because of that… I just don’t want to subject you to anything more from my family. My mom isn’t very pleasant sometimes and I don’t want her to have any sort of influence over you or…any opportunity to hurt you. I honestly want to protect you from that. It’s not for any other reason except that I love you so much and want you to be happy. I don’t want her to bring you down.”
I slightly nodded my understanding, just because I’d heard bits and pieces of Jocelyn Miller’s personality over the past several months. Words like “superficial” came to mind, as well as “condescending” and “snobby.” I’d gotten the impression that she loved her status as Jared Miller’s mom, and apparently it worked quite well for her over the years.
“She lives for fame and fortune,” Jared even added. “I’m not saying that she hasn’t been a good mom over the years, but lately she seems to ride my status for all she can and…she has these ideas like…I should be dating certain people and—”
“Like Amanda?” I asked. “Did she mean Amanda Benson?”
He looked surprised that I figured it out, but he didn’t realize that it had bothered me all night until I could put it together. I remembered Jared had mentioned (sort of jokingly at the time but apparently not really) that people had tried to set him up with the famous actress. Knowing Jared as well as I did allowed me to agree that she really wasn’t his type like he had adamantly stated.
“That was, like, two years ago,” he finally said. “I told you about that and—”
“I know, but obviously your mom has fantasies that Amanda is going to be her daughter-in-law someday, not me.”
He wasn�
�t amused, even though I smiled. It honestly didn’t bother me, but I guess knowing that Jared was so sensitive about everything should have made me be a little more understanding.
“I’m sorry,” I told him. “I just… Well, I just know that you and I are inseparable. I don’t see anything tearing us apart unless one of us chooses that. I’m not looking to bail—”
“I’m not either. Never.” He took my hands in his and his genuine sincerity—the honesty and desire in his eyes—made me smile.
“So I guess what other people think is irrelevant to me,” I said.
He wanted to believe me, I could tell, but Jared was such a deep soul that I felt he needed more than that.
“Jared, you mean more to me than I ever thought possible. I never thought I could love someone so deeply that I couldn’t even imagine my life without him. You talk about how blessed you are to have me, but I feel the same way about you. I wake up every day and can hardly believe I have someone like you in my life. My thoughts everyday are ‘Jared this’ and ‘Jared that’ and ‘Oh I can’t wait to see him’ and ‘Oh I love him so much’… Yeah, my world absolutely revolves around you,” I smiled.
I could tell it’s what he needed to hear, and I realized—through all my stubbornness and resistance to be so open and honest in a relationship—that Jared had influenced me anyway. I knew that I could always trust him and I didn’t have to be so cautious anymore. I’d seen examples of it along the way, but without a doubt I knew we were in it for the long haul because I had my soul mate.
He stood up and made me stand with him so he could hug me. He kissed the top of my head and said, “You are my world. Don’t you ever forget that.”
We stood there together for a few seconds until I pulled away so I could slide my arms around his neck. He smiled, leaned his forehead against mine, and then kissed me. It was such a peaceful moment, and I almost forgot about the obstacle I still needed to face until we both heard the sound of a bedroom door. I could literally feel Jared stiffen, and that forced me to muster all the courage I could find.
Love Today Page 32
