He licked his lips. “I’m game for that.”
“Don’t talk like you’re going to magically going to get over your fear of relationships.”
“I’m not afraid.”
“Really? When have you ever spent time with a woman without sleeping with her?”
“You.”
She couldn’t keep from rolling her eyes. “Before me.”
Pain lanced across his face so fast and harsh she reached for him, wishing she could take it back. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
“I was twenty-two, and she wanted to wait until we were married. And then she didn’t, only she decided to sleep with someone else.”
Her heart squeezed and an ache spread through her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“I don’t blame her.” His voice softened to a low whisper, his breath reminding her of his masculine taste. “I spent years in and out of hospitals, trying to figure out why I was always in pain. That wasn’t the life she wanted. I didn’t want it either, so I understand why she opted out.” He released her and sat up, his posture perfect.
She reached for his hand, interlocking their fingers. “I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t tell you for pity.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you. But no one deserves to be betrayed in that way.”She watched his features harden one by one, like a computer shutting down. She had a million questions but knew he would retreat if she asked any of them.
He gave her hand a squeeze, then let go and stood. “You’re not using fuck every other word, so I think you’ve calmed down enough to figure out the next step in your evil plan to destroy Captain Fuckstick. Without vodka.”
“My liver thanks you.” She smiled, her heart begging her to ask him to stay, to tell her what happened, to let her make it all better. But she kept quiet, because if he didn’t walk away now, she wouldn’t just sleep with him. She’d fall hopelessly in love.
Chapter Twelve
Harm’s phone vibrated on the pale marble kitchen counter. The screen lit up a snapshot of Antonnis with his blond head tilted back, laughing hysterically at the display in the window of a condom shop in the Red-Light District. The kid knew how to have a good time.
With a grin, Harm answered, “Tonnis! Are you ready to move to Anguilla yet?”
“Goeiedag, broeder,” Antonnis answered in their native tongue. “I’m not old enough to retire like my elders. Are you bald and paunchy yet, Mannus?”
Harm pushed a hand through his thick hair and leaned against the butcher-block island. “You’ll go bald before either of us. Hannes and I are on the water every day, while you’re turning into a ghost in that office. You ought to try it, little brother.”
“I’m too young to get stuck in the middle of the ocean just yet. Too much to see, too much money to make. But tell me this, Mannus. Why has Hannes summoned Pappa and me to the island in June?”
“No clue.” Harm rubbed at the tightness in his chest and looked at the salads he’d prepared for dinner, his appetite disappearing. He covered the bowls and put them in the fridge.
“I don’t like this. It’s Sue all over again.”
“Don’t let Pappa offer Sassy a check.” His blood chilled. Sebastian Prinsen had no shame when it came to doing what he thought would keep his children safe. He’d bought a divorce from Johannes’s ex-wife without bothering to run it past his son. Presented the transaction in a family meeting as if it were a lesson for all his boys. “If he tries anything like before, he’ll lose both Johannes and Dutch. He can’t interfere.”
Tonnis gave a forced laugh. “Pappa is thrilled that Hannes and Saskia are together. Apparently he always hoped I would end up with her. Can you imagine? Me and the whirling dervish?”
Harm rocked back on his heels. He’d never considered his father would approve of the relationship. “This is where I’m supposed to give a speech about how Sassy has grown up and we need to get to know her.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I promised.”
The laugh was real this time, the infectious chuckle bringing a smile across the ocean. “You tried to get to know her and she slapped you. Maybe I should keep my distance. I was always the one she’d lash out on.”
“That was because you were smallest and slowest. She could catch you. You might want to train a bit before you come out. She’s rather quick.”
“Come now, you will have run her off by June. I have faith in you.”
That had been part of Harm’s plan. In fact, he hadn’t figured it would take long. But Holly had him thinking that there might be a few redeeming qualities buried somewhere deep beneath Sassy’s bratty exterior. Johannes and Holly saw something in her, and he’d be damned if he wouldn’t give Sassy one last chance to prove him wrong.
“Mannus? Your quiet is scaring me.” Tonnis laid the mock concern on thick.
Harm took a deep breath and hoped he could get it out without needing to vomit. “He loves her. I don’t know why, but he’s happier when he’s with her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still very much the center of her own world, but she does seem taken with him.”
“Sorry, I thought I’d called my brother. I didn’t realize I was talking to a woman.”
“If you saw him happy, you’d understand. He’s always wanted this. I think that’s why he settled on Sue so easily. As self-absorbed as Sassy is, she’s not the succubus his ex-wife was.” Harm crossed the great room and stared out at the colors painting the evening sky.
“Do I really have to come out there and knock some sense into you both?”
“You should. But be warned, our dear brother likes to talk about how his future children should have cousins and aunts. It’s an obsession of his.”
“As if. Neither of us will be boarding the matrimony boat anytime soon.”
Out of nowhere, Harm’s shoulders stiffened. “Of course, you’re already married to your job.”
“And you don’t like people.”
Harm blinked. “I like people.”
“Fine, you don’t like women.”
“Excuse me, little brother, but I love women. I find them infinitely enjoyable.”
Antonnis groaned. “You don’t have to come out swinging. I only meant you don’t like women enough to bother beyond the basics. And you’re a lucky bastard because you’ve wandered into the perfect set-up for that. New tourists come in on every boat, and out the same way.”
“While you stay too busy locked up in Pappa’s ivory tower to invest in anything but real estate.” He hated the pettiness in his voice, hated more that his baby brother was right. He could count on one hand the number of people he truly liked, and he was related to all of them.
Except Holly. Even when she was coming undone. Especially when she was coming undone.
His stomach sank to the bottom of his bare feet. He liked her. He’d never thought he’d actually meet a woman who could shift his entire world, tilt his perspective.
He ought to thank her for not letting their relationship slip outside of the friend zone. The very last thing he needed was a hurricane to touch down on his personal landscape and blow everything all to hell. He finally had things just as he wanted them. He’d finished the villa, the businesses were flourishing, his health had never been better. He needed to enjoy it, not risk misery on some woman headed to New York on the first flight out.
“Harm, if I didn’t know better I’d think you’d boarded the love boat too. Have you been reading romance novels again?”
Laughter shook through him. “You know it wouldn’t hurt you to read a book instead of a newspaper.”
“And you might enjoy books written in this century. It might even give you something to talk about with these women Joe will be interviewing as possible aunties for his future children. Actually, I was thinking about reading these three books that everyone is talking about. Apparently, there is sex on every page, and if you’re lucky enough to find a woman who is in the midst of reading it there’s a c
hance she’ll show up at your house with handcuffs. True story, happened to Falco.”
He grinned at the memory of their childhood friend. “Things always happen to Falco.”
“And you. Anything torrid happened lately?”
Images of Holly on the beach flashed through his mind, spiraling straight to his cock. He never hid his affairs from his brothers, but anything that happened with Holly wasn’t story fodder. “Have your own adventures, little brother.”
“Please, I’m stuck doing the boring thing of having to buy a woman dinner first. And if I’m expected to take a week off in June, I won’t even have time for that between now and then.”
“Then maybe you should read those books.”
“Don’t say no, Holly. But I think you should do it.”
Holly pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it. Calling Saskia had been an act of desperation, but she’d never be that hard up. She opted for speaker and lay back on the bed, soft pillows cushioning her weary head. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You know what we sell, right?”
“Your boobs will sell hundreds of bikini tops.” Sass had an entirely too cheerful tone to her voice. Probably because she knew she wasn’t in pinching distance.
“And my dimpled ass will end up on the don’t list of every fashion website.” The musky, sandalwood scent of Harm wrapped around her. Her pillows wanted to hold on to him too. She fluffed them behind her head. Good luck, sisters. One spin through the washing machine and they’d be free of him. She couldn’t say the same for herself.
“You’re too hard on yourself. The great thing about crocheted suits is that they are adjustable and forgiving.”
“And offer very little coverage or support. The only ones I’ve ever considered wearing were the crochet overlays, and even then I worried about a wardrobe malfunction. We’re not after those kinds of pictures.”
“I wish I could think of something to help.”
“Me too. As of now, the models have the day to explore the island, and the photographers will take landscapes for us to use on the website. Which isn’t a complete waste. But close.”
“What if you wore the clothes instead? There are skirts and tops, cover-ups and dresses. I think you’re gorgeous, but if you don’t want to pose in a suit, you could wear items for the lifestyle line.”
Every sample they had was designed for svelte frames like Saskia and the models. Holly would look ridiculous putting crocheted shorts on her chunky legs, or like sausage in a casing if she tried to squeeze her ass into one of the dresses. “I’m not a model, hon. Besides, we have a better shot at the high-end swimwear line, which is why when we get the money together, we’ll do another shoot.”
Sass let out a movie-worthy sigh. “Now I feel bad asking you.”
“Asking me what?” She grinned, glad for the distraction.
“I was thinking of taking a detour on our way back.”
“Mmm-kay.” The anxiety she’d managed to contain enough to play the perfect professional nibbled at her nerves. After the crew was sent back home, she had a condo to set-up. And she had no intention of doing it alone. She’d agreed to try living here with her best friend, not to be alone in a condo while Sass played house with her boyfriend.
“I want to spend some time in Miami so my mom can meet Johannes again. She hasn’t seen him since he was a teenager. I want them to get to know each other, instead of being stuck in their old impressions of what the other is like.”
Susan would be able to slow her daughter down from this sprint of a relationship. The woman had a negative sense of romance. “Sweetie, is he going to be playing this meet-the-parents game with you? You’re moving so fast with this.”
“I know Johannes’s father. Sebastian’s my godfather.”
Holly couldn’t help but laugh. “You two are really twisting branches on your family tree.”
“You sound like Harm.”
“I think he’s just concerned about his brother.” Guilt bit at the back of her throat, sharp as regret. Sass would see her friendship with Harm as a betrayal, and the kisses would only twist the knife.
“I think he’s just an ass. Maybe when he sees I’m not leaving Anguilla, he’ll go back to Holland.”
Her skin prickled with annoyance. “Didn’t you just say you want your mom and Joe to move past their old impressions? You ought to try it yourself. Harm has been nothing but helpful. Anything I ask for, he makes it happen.”
“That’s just so he can get his hands on the models. Just wait, now that they have a day off he’ll put a revolving door on his bedroom.”
Holly sat up straight and grabbed the phone. “That’s not fair. The two of you don’t get along because you’re stuck in a ridiculous adolescent pattern. He’s been more than generous and done nothing but helped. I think when you get back, you might want to try saying thank you and make an effort to get along with him. He’s Joe’s brother. He’s not going anywhere.”
“It’s not just me. Everyone thinks he’s a womanizing ass.”
“You mean Janny? Remember, she has all the Prinsens painted with the same brush, and you obviously disagree on one of them. You really need to give Harm a chance.” Heaviness settled in the center of her chest. She needed to take her own advice.
“Ugh, you sound like Johannes.”
“Well, if he’s smart enough to love you, he might be smart about other things too.”
“Fine. But if I’m going to have an open mind about Harm, I want you to consider getting some shots in the designs. At least promise you’ll try something on tomorrow.”
She closed her eyes, the ridiculous image of getting stuck in one of the crocheted creations coming to mind. She gazed at the trunk and shook her head. “I’ll try something on.”
“And get the shot. We can use it on your profile.”
Not in a million years. “Good luck with your detour.”
“They both love me, so they’ll get over their issues. But don’t drop your guard with Harm. He might just be being nice so you won’t suspect he’s planning something sordid. Though with the shoot over, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.”
Except everything Harm did mattered. Very much.
Chapter Thirteen
Holly peered up the darkened staircase and gripped the carved mahogany railing, trepidation rising with each step. Natural light flooded the seaward elevation of Harm’s house from the windowed façade, but the inland side was dark and shadowed, much like the man himself.
He’d never invited her upstairs, always meeting her in the open and airy great room. She’d thought to call out from below, but curiosity led her into Harm’s private lair. If he came downstairs, she’d never know what he kept hidden.
The landing launched a long hallway of closed black doors and gallery-framed black and white photographs leading to a soft pool of light shining from beyond the far corner. Family photographs, she guessed examining each one as she went by. Most were shots of three boys, and she could spot Harm in his big-brother stance, arms always around the younger two. The boys grew up as she passed, sometimes flanked by a man with Harm’s face and Joe’s blond hair and a beautiful raven-haired woman with dark smiling eyes.
A gorgeous, happy family that seemed to sadden as she went on. The parents disappeared from the pictures, Harm seemed to wither away as his brothers filled out. In a group shot of a dozen people she recognized a knobby-kneed Saskia and Dutch, both smiling and happy. Her blood chilled, barely recognizing a gaunt, sickly Harm.
He’d said he’d been in pain, in hospitals, and she could only imagine what horrors had caused his state. She moved forward, glad she knew he’d come out of that dark place strong enough to conquer any demon, medical or otherwise. Yet he didn’t seem to heal, not through graduation photos or an event that found all three Prinsen brothers in tuxedos.
Even the final picture, a more recent shot of him and his brother on Joe’s sailboat, didn’t show the Harm she knew. At least not the body. The domineering stare a
nd powerful confidence shone through, and while his bare chest held definition, it wasn’t the brawn he now displayed. Even his hair seemed thinner.
Like putting together a puzzle without the picture on the box to go by, every time she thought she had him figured out, it ended up that she had it upside down. He’d been through something, triumphed over some physical adversity that had her admiring him all the more.
She’d stepped onto Anguilla thinking she knew all about Harmannus Prinsen thanks to his bullish playboy reputation. And he’d schooled her on just how wrong she’d been. She wanted to know him. Not just from morbid curiosity about what caused his sickly appearance and hospital stays, but how he’d overcome it. How he’d released the anchors that held him back and become such a powerful physical force.
A pool of honeyed light spilled around the far corner. She stepped into it and turned and her eyes widened and breath stilled in her chest. She tilted her head back to take in the glorious sight and her cheeks lifted in a smile.
Bookshelves towered to the two-story ceiling, the muted colors of thousands of book spines filling the space. A wood-paneled balcony wrapped around the room, a circular staircase providing access to the impossibly high shelves. The intricate coffered ceiling topped with a stained-glass dome had to be spectacular when the sun shone through it. The dark woods, giant library globe and marble fireplace filled with glowing candles transformed the modern Caribbean villa into a Victorian country estate ripped from her adolescent fantasies.
So often she’d dreamed of a room like this, a place with more stories to tell than she could ever hope to enjoy. Every dark winter in Alaska she’d imagined keeping warm and entertained in a room half this grand. An old library card catalogue sat in one corner and she itched to peek inside every drawer.
“Holly?”
She jumped at the deep timbre of Harm’s voice and turned. He didn’t move from his perch on one of a pair of overstuffed chaises, a leather-bound copy of Huckleberry Finn in his hand. A bare-chested hunk of a man reading the classics in the library of her dreams. He was a nerd girl’s wet dream.
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