by Ruby Madden
Coach Lawson lunged for me like he was going to do something. Like he had the balls to do something to me, a man two times his size. He had to have lost his mind.
“Enough!” Jared stepped in between us, pushing me back. “Don’t do it, man. Don’t do it.”
I shoved him, pushing him back. “I’ll beat his ass. He wants to talk to me like he owns me? Well, he doesn’t; I own him! I own all of you. I made all of you and don’t you ever fucking forget that.”
Foaming out the mouth like the dog he was, the coach wrestled out of the stronghold some of the guys had on him and lunged for me again. “Get off my field. You’re done! Go!”
We both knew that wasn’t true. The team needed me. I was this team. I made the team and everyone involved a lot of money and they all knew it. I walked off, but not because he told me to, but because they needed to feel the full brunt of what would happen to the entire franchise if I was no longer a member of the team. They’d be screwed. Fans would revolt and I’d come out smelling like roses.
“Beck, come on, man,” Jared called as he jogged to catch up with me. “What are you doing? You don’t want to leave. You don’t want to throw it all away over some dumb shit, do you?”
He was right. I didn’t want to throw it away. I’d worked too long and too hard to have all that I had, but at the same time, I needed time to get my head together and time for them to learn a lesson.
“I don’t have time for this,” I said, yanking my arm from the grip he had on it. “I’ll be all right. Now go on back before he sanctions you or does some other dumb shit.”
Jared stopped, his hands going to his hips as he thought about his next move. “You let her do it to you, didn’t you?” he asked.
This guy – always trying to be the funny guy. I should have punched him in the mouth, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t turn out well. I’d have yet another court case to deal with; not to mention, Isla would be all over me about the whole thing. I’d never hear the end of it.
I slammed my way through each set of doors until I reached the locker room. By the time I was done with it, nothing in the room was left unturned. Every ounce of anger that had built up in my body over the years, spilled out of me like a sieve – slow and methodical, but with enough force to mess up everything in its path up.
While I sat dripping in sweat, trying to catch my breath, the team remained outside, practicing as if nothing had happened. They were oblivious to my anger and all that had been bothering me. They continued playing as if that’s all that mattered in the world.
The doors opened behind me. I fully expected to hear Cole’s voice, but instead it was Isla’s soft voice I heard. “I hear you’re making friends on the practice field.”
She thought she was being funny. As angry as I was, I couldn’t be angry with her. She was the only light in my life these days.
“I don’t need friends. Most of them are fake anyway. They only stick around when things are good. When things go bad, they disappear,” I said, avoiding eye contact with her because I didn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes.
“Beckham,” she said sternly. “What happened out there?”
I sighed. “Bad morning,” I answered. “How are you doing?”
She moved to get in front of me, in my line of vision so I couldn’t avoid looking her in the eyes. “Well, a few hours ago, I was under the impression you were having a pretty good morning. Was I wrong?”
I grunted like an ape. She was right. A few hours ago, I was having a damn good morning. She was riding me and loving every second of it. Morning sex was the best. It worked out all the kinks that flooded the body while you slept.
“Well, that’s a noise I haven’t heard you make before.” She put her hands on her hips, those curvy hips that made me want to bang her every time I looked at them. This woman was dangerous for me. Dangerous in that I’d never have the energy to run down the field if she kept turning me on this way.
Avoiding eye contact with her when she was staring right at me was difficult to do. She kept moving so I had to look at her. “What’s up, beautiful? What did you hear?”
She exhaled, like she’d been holding her breath. “I was on the phone talking to the director of the children’s charity that was here a few weeks ago and she told me some interesting news.”
I swallowed hard. I knew what was coming.
“Yes?” I tried to act like I had no idea what she was referring to.
Isla sat down on my lap, tempting me with her sweet body. “Why didn’t you tell me you wrote them a big check?”
My defenses went up. “Should I have told you?”
She stood up immediately, snapping at me. “No, but considering I sleep in your bed every night, I thought you might have mentioned that you gave a charity fifty-thousand dollars. That’s kind of a big deal.”
Why did she care?
“I give away a lot of money. Why does it matter?” I asked, annoyance in my voice. Why was she questioning me about this?
“You don’t get it, do you? The director said you donate that kind of money a couple of times a year. Maybe if I’d known that, I wouldn’t have given you such a hard time about behaving yourself in front of them. Maybe I would have thought you were sweet,” Isla said.
I rubbed my temple, feeling a major headache coming on. “Maybe I didn’t want you to think I was sweet.”
Isla sat down behind me, leaning her head on my back. “You’ve changed. Did I do something wrong? Have you changed your mind about us?”
She had to go there, didn’t she? Just like a woman to make things harder than they had to be.
“Okay, well, don’t tell me then. Yeah, that will make things a lot easier. Let’s just pretend there was no us and avoid the whole discussion,” she said, pulling away from me.
“Isla, stop. That’s not what I was saying. I do a lot of good things for people, but no one ever notices. Is that what you want to hear? You want me to confess my sins to you. Will that make you feel better?” I hated how I sounded. I didn’t like showing weakness. Weakness never got me anywhere.
She stopped at the door, leaning her forehead against it. “No, I want to hear the truth. I want to know who you really are, not the person you think I want to know. Every time I think we’re getting closer, you shut down on me. Is this some kind of pattern? All I asked is why you didn’t tell me. I don’t care if you donated to them or anyone. I just wondered how come you didn’t mention it. As much as you hate to come off as a good person, behind all that crap you spew at the world, you are a nice person. You are a decent person and until you see that, we’re not going to work. Being with you is too hard. It’s too much work.” She walked out, leaving me in disbelief.
I wanted to chase after her, but my ego wouldn’t let me. My damn ego was bigger than me most of the time. It kept my head above water. My ego made me a superstar. It’s why people loved me.
“Beck!” Someone down the hallway screamed for me.
What the hell? I stood up, prepared for another round of whatever was to come next. “What?” I yelled in return.
“It’s Isla! Come quickly!”
I ran out of the locker room to find Isla on the floor passed out. “What the hell happened? Get some help! Call 9-1-1!” I screamed orders at the receptionist.
Coach Lawson and the team were walking through the doors, headed for the locker room.
The coach took one look at Isla and went into action, checking for Isla’s pulse. “What did you do to her?”
“What did I do to her? I didn’t do anything to her. What the hell, man! Just help her.” My heart was racing in my chest. My whole world was spinning.
Isla stirred. When she opened her eyes, she was disoriented.
I grabbed her and hugged her to me, wanting to protect her, shield her from the world. “It’s okay. I’m right here. I’m right here.” I looked at the receptionist, who was on the phone with 9-1-1. “What happened to her
?”
Isla answered for me. “I fell down. I got dizzy and I fell down.”
I looked at the receptionist. She was saying the same thing to the dispatcher on the phone.
The team doctor came to help, checking Isla’s heart and breathing. She squirmed at the coolness of his stethoscope.
“Don’t move. Let him help you, baby,” I said, my heart beating uncontrollably.
The coach ordered my team members to give us some room while the doctor examined Isla. I refused to let go of her, scared out of my mind. The last time I’d seen a woman laying like that, she was seriously injured. It was the first and last time I ever saw my mother injured. That injury was at the hands of the only boyfriend she ever had after my father and I vowed I’d never, ever allow myself to do nothing when a woman was in need of help. To see Isla like that, helpless on the floor, scared me almost as much as it did when I found my mother that way years ago. I knew right there, in that moment, that I’d never be able to live without her in my life. Never.
The doctor’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “Is there a possibility you could be pregnant?”
The look on Isla’s face confirmed it.
“You’re pregnant?” My voice shook as I spoke.
Her eyes welled with tears – happy tears. “I might be. I mean, maybe. I think so.”
I pushed the doctor back to pull Isla up onto my lap and kiss her. “Are you? Do you think you are?”
She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Are you scared?”
“Of course not,” I said to her. Looking at the doctor, “Do you think that’s why she passed out? Does that happen?”
The ambulance finally arrived. I had to release Isla to let them examine her; all the while, wishing they’d just leave and let us be alone.
“Do you have any known medical problems?” I heard a paramedic ask.
“I think I’m pregnant,” Isla said.
That’s when I lost control. Hot tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my face. I’d never felt like this before. I’d never known this kind of happiness before. My beautiful Nubian queen was going to have my baby.
The drive to the hospital was the longest drive of my life. They wouldn’t let me ride in the ambulance with her, so I had no idea what was going on and it was making me crazy. The coach and a few of my teammates followed behind me. Even though we had our differences, I could always count on them when something happened. They’d put our differences aside when it came to something like this.
I flew through the city streets, careening in and out between traffic. All that mattered was that I was at Isla’s side when she got to the hospital. Before I knew it, the cars behind me had tripled. Media had gotten word of what happened and were hot on our tail. They wanted the scoop. They wanted their big payday and all I wanted was to make sure the woman I loved was safe.
“Mr. Alexander, I’m sorry but you can’t go in there. It’s family only,” a nurse informed me.
“Bullshit! I’m going in,” I said, maneuvering around her to get through the doors.
“Beck!”
I stopped immediately, recognizing the voice.
Frank walked up behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Please, sir, let them take care of her.”
My shoulders slumped. He was right. Isla was awake and talking. I knew that. I’d seen her. I’d spoken to her. She was fine. This was just a precaution. “What are you doing here, Frank?” I asked.
He gripped my shoulder.
“She passed out.” My voice broke. “It scared the hell out of me. She was just lying there, limp.”
“She’ll be okay. Let them check her out. They’ll come and get you. I’m sure Miss Johnson will ask them to let you in. I’m positive she’ll ask for you. She really cares about you. You see that, don’t you?”
We sat for over an hour before they finally came to get me. I was so excited to see her that I let go of my anger for the time being. “Where is she? I want to see her,” I said.
Isla was sitting up in a bed, an I.V. drip in one arm and machines connected to her. “Hi, stranger,” she whispered. “Did you miss me?”
I was so relieved she was okay, I nearly broke down crying again, but I resisted that urge. “Hey, beautiful,” I said. “How are you feeling?” I sat down on the edge of the bed, needing to be close to her. “What did the doctor say?”
“Oh, he said I’m a little dehydrated. It’s nothing big. I guess, I’m working too hard trying to keep your behind out of trouble,” she teased, but I could tell there was something more.
“Are you pregnant? Is it too soon to tell?” I asked, cutting to the chase.
She smiled, reaching out to place her hand on top of mine. “They gave me a test. I don’t know yet, but I think I might be. I want you to be honest with me; would you really be okay if I was? After everything that’s happened with you, will you be okay with it?”
I laughed a nervous laugh. “Of course, I’d be okay. Why wouldn’t I be? This is what we agreed to, right?”
Isla sighed. “No, aside from that. This isn’t just a business deal anymore, is it? Do you think it’s still an arrangement? I’m confused. What are we doing?”
She was right. Things between us had gone way beyond a business deal. I knew that a long time ago. If I was being honest; the business deal ended a long time ago – probably a few days after it all began. I couldn’t help myself. She was everything I ever dreamed of and more. She was different.
“This isn’t business; it’s pure pleasure, baby,” I said, squeezing her hand back. I took a deep breath. I was about to do the scariest thing I’d ever do in my life, but it felt so right. “Marry me. Be my wife. Have my babies.”
Just then, the doctor walked in. “Congratulations, Miss Johnson, your pregnancy test came back positive.”
I squeezed Isla’s hand again. This was real. She was real. She and I were going to have a family. “Actually, doc, do you mind if we have a minute? I want to do all sorts of nasty stuff with my fiancée and we don’t need an audience.”
The doctor’s cheeks flushed. “I’ll give you a few minutes.”
Isla giggled. “You are so wrong! I can’t believe you said that.”
I spent the next few minutes repeating my questions in between hugging and kissing Isla. I hadn’t been this happy in a long time. I never wanted the moment to end.
“I’m going to need a new ring. A real ring,” Isla said, removing the ring she had on her finger. “This one was part of our business deal. I need one for the real deal. That is, if you were being serious with me. You were being serious, weren’t you?”
The panicked look on her face made me laugh. “I play a lot of things, but playing with the rest of my life isn’t one of those things. Of course, I was for real. What kind of animal do you think I am?”
She grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling me to her to plant a firm kiss on my lips. “You’re my animal. You’ll be whatever kind I need you to be.” She was right. Damn right!
The doctor admitted her so they could continue to give her fluids. I sent Frank home to grab some of her things and a change of clothes for me. I wasn’t going anywhere. No chance. No way. She was carrying my baby and no one was going to separate us.
After she was settled into her private room, I hated to ask, but I did still have a problem hanging over my head. “We should hold a press conference; don’t you think?”
“What? Why?” she asked.
“We need to get ahead of the story. The announcement has to come from us,” I explained.
Chapter Thirteen – Isla
“I raised you better than this!” My mother cleared her throat. “You took off halfway across the country for what? To get knocked up? Girl, have you lost your mind?”
No matter how old I got, anytime my mother scolded me, I l felt like a little girl, who had been caught sneaking in past her bedtime. “Mom, this isn’t what you think. I’m not dumb. Beck is differe
nt. He and I are together. I love him.”
“You love him? Oh, well excuse me. That changes everything,” she said, sarcasm laced in her voice.
“Mom, for real, he’s a great guy and I love him,” I said again.
“But a baby? Why would you do that now? What about your career? What about your…” she started.
“My what? My career is fine. What else do I need? Hey, this might not be the best time, but Beck wants to buy you a ticket so you can come down for the weekend. He wants to meet you.” I tried to make it sound like it was the best idea in the world, but deep down, I knew what her reaction would be.
“Now, I know you’ve been drinking the Kool-Aid. The rich, white man Kool-Aid, which is something different altogether. It has different ingredients. Different texture, if you know what I mean,” my mother hummed.
“Mama, what are you saying; I can’t date him because he’s white? Is that what I heard? I’m confused because the woman who raised me, raised me to love everyone - no matter the color of their skin,” I reminded her of her own words, “she would never say anything remotely racist.” I’d heard the same mantra over and over again when I was growing up. My mother made sure I understood never to let anyone make me feel like I was less than anyone else. We were equal, no matter where we came from.
“What I’m saying is, this is different. Whether you want to admit it or not, you will forever be the Black woman he knocked up. No one is ever going to speak about you like you’re something special. They won’t care about your degrees or the hard work you put in to make something of yourself. You’ll always be the Black girl who got knocked up by the rich football player - the rich white football player.”
Her words stung. I didn’t know what to say.
“Sweetheart, I love you more than sunshine and rain. You know that. All I’m saying is, this situation isn’t going to be easy. You’re going to have to fight to prove yourself. I wish you would have thought about that before you went and laid down with this man. You could have, at least, used some kind of protection. Why didn’t you? Was he that hot that you couldn’t stop and think about protecting yourself? Who knows how many women he’s been with! Did that even occur to you? What if he gave you something?” My mother had a knack for making me feel like a fool. She was right. I hadn’t considered how many women he’d been with. I knew it was a lot, but I never thought about catching something from him.
