“Something like that,” Kirek admitted.
She’d never known anyone wealthy. She’d scratched and saved for every credit, and she couldn’t help thinking that Kirek’s personality was so set, so strong, that the amount in his bank account had little to do with who he was.
“I’ve also hired a transport to meet us at these coordinates.” He shot them over to Petroy.
Angel nodded at her first officer. “Once we’re free to jump into hyperspace, set our course to meet the other ship.” She hoped all this effort would be worth going through and that the disk would produce the coordinates Kirek sought.
“There’s news …” Kirek hesitated and looked up from his vidscreen, his eyes bleak, as if he had just been sucker punched. Mouth tight, jaw clenched, face fierce, he look like a warrior about to go into battle.
“What?”
“Ever since the wormhole destroyed Zenon, Federation scientists have been monitoring the core temperatures of their worlds.”
Oh … no. She didn’t want to hear whatever he was about to say. Her hands clenched.
As Petroy and Ranth flew the ship away from Dakmar, Kirek spoke through gritted teeth. “Mystique has become the temporary new Federation capital, and the core temperature there is heating.”
Kirek’s parents, his family, his friends—all of them lived on Mystique. His eyes shadowed with worry.
Despite her anger with him, no one should have to bear such pain. “Maybe the core temperature changes are normal fluctuations.”
“Federation scientists don’t think so. While the core temperature is rising slowly, they still have time to evacuate.”
“But?”
“There’s nowhere to go.”
“What do you mean? The Federation is made up of over two million planets.”
“And the planetary cores are heating on all of them. Even the uninhabited worlds.”
Stars. She stared at him, so stunned she could barely think.
“How long … do we have?”
“No one knows. Since we didn’t monitor the process on Zenon, we don’t know if the core temperature increases slowly or exponentially.”
Angel had no words. The magnitude of the coming disaster was so overwhelming. “Surely the Federation can do something?”
“They are. They’re sending us to stop the Zin.”
“WHY JUST US?” Angel shot Kirek a look of despair when he followed her to her quarters. She floated in her cabin, stroking Lion, barely looking at him. As Kirek’s frustration with his circumstances mounted, he supposed he should consider it a victory that she had yet to order him to leave.
He’d hated the necessity of secretly altering her ship without her permission, but he refused to face the Zin without every technological device he could assemble in their favor. Ever since Earth’s exploding wormhole had pulled Kirek into the Andromeda Galaxy and he’d figured out a way to end the Zin threat, he’d known he would have to return in his body to accomplish his mission. Unfortunately the same encounter that had showed him how to destroy the Zin had made them aware he was determined to return.
After encountering one psi touch from Kirek, the Zin recognized he was dangerous to them and would never allow him to return to their home world. The Zin had psi of their own and they’d identified and tagged him as a threat. One psi touch had told Kirek that the Zin would hunt him with ruthless efficiency, and that’s why he’d tried to hide his tracks by secretly going to Dakmar on a salvage vessel, instead of one of Mystique’s newest ships.
That’s why he’d shipped a device to Dakmar that sat in the cargo hold, waiting for him to unpack and test. A portable computer neural net made to hold his psi—without it, he’d never sneak past the Zin.
When Kirek didn’t answer right away, Angel demanded, “Kirek. Why doesn’t the Federation send a fleet of ships?”
Surely Angel understood the terrible choice he’d had to make? He’d been caught between a marbalite rock and bendar glass, with no wriggle room. “The Zin have advanced weapons far beyond our ability to counter, and a fleet would warn them I’m coming. One lone ship has the best chance of sneaking through their defenses.”
“So what would you have done if I hadn’t agreed to transport you?”
“I’d intended to buy the most advanced ship I could find.” He hesitated. There was more she needed to know, but not yet. He couldn’t allow his frustration to override his good sense. She’d been so angry over his alterations to her ship, he didn’t want to put more of the burden on her any sooner than he must. “The Zin know I’m coming, and they recognize my psi. Our best advantage is that they don’t know how or when I’ll arrive in the Andromeda Galaxy.”
“Why don’t I find that comforting?”
“This ship’s shapeshifting technology also has shields that mask my psi. It will allow us to get close enough to surprise them. I wanted to tell you …”
“But you didn’t trust me. So you went behind my back.”
“I wanted to tell you.” Aggravation at himself and at his mission boiled through him as he realized he’d given her the perfect reason to pull back from him on a personal level. “If there was one chance in a hundred that you wouldn’t let me renovate the Raven I couldn’t risk it. I was afraid you’d say no, and I wanted you with me. The mission stands a better chance of success with your help.”
She lifted her head and stared at him. “So you needed my piloting skills?”
He nodded. “The Raven can sneak past Zin defenses—when I astral projected there, I scoped out their operation. I know what kind of traps they have, where they are, and how they work. It’s a one-ship job.”
“And then?”
“I turn them off.”
“Just like that? You walk into the deadliest enemy the Federation has ever known and just turn them off?”
He couldn’t help noting that she was avoiding the personal aspects of his decision to focus on the mission—a bad sign. “The Zin are a combination of machines and live beings. If I kill the power switch to the machinery, the living beings all die.”
She quirked an eyebrow at him, seemingly quite aware he wasn’t telling her how he planned to get to the Zin. “And you, the Rystani warrior who doesn’t like to kill, are going to single-handedly destroy an entire race?”
“I must.” So she’d discovered his idiosyncrasy. Kirek objected to killing. She knew him too well, this woman he cared for. This woman who wouldn’t admit that the reason he’d hurt her so badly was because she had feelings for him, too.
If she’d been Tessa, she would have happily accepted the new upgrades. Tessa was a pure business woman. But to Angel, the Raven was home and carried emotional attachments. He should have taken her feelings into account, understood her better—because she certainly seemed to understand him.
She spoke evenly, her eyes giving away nothing. “To kill in self-defense is morally acceptable to most races.”
“I’ve always been able to find another way, but with the Zin … I may have no choice.” He stepped forward and saw her eyes soften for an instant.
“The Zin are threatening everything in the Federation. They have made this a confrontation to the death. It is not your fault that they’ve forced you to kill or be killed.” Her lower jaw dropped. “Why am I trying to make you feel better when I’m still so mad at you?”
“Because you have a good heart.” She snorted. “Because you know I needed to alter the Raven.” Angel rolled her eyes at the ceiling as if he were a test of her patience. “Because you know that if I had asked, you might have said no. Our mission is simply too important for me to risk when I might not have been able to change your mind.”
“You should have asked me.”
“I was wrong.” He advanced another step, aching to draw her into his arms, wishing he’d trusted her, wishing he hadn’t hurt her, hoping she wasn’t going to pull back, because he’d screwed up big-time.
“Don’t come any closer.”
His heart ached. He
should have trusted her. He should have told her the truth. He might have made the biggest mistake of his life. He’d violated her trust, and the damage might be irreparable. “I am sorry.”
“That’s not good enough.” She bit her lower lip. “You didn’t trust me and so you lied. Go away.” Her tone was hard, her words abrupt.
He leaned against the threshold, trying to tamp down his frustration, wishing he could undo the damage and ease her hurt. She’d believed in him, and his error had ruined her faith.
Although he was so certain she was the only woman for him, he had gone behind her back. He couldn’t even console himself that he might find another. Angel Taylor was the woman he wanted, and her rejection … hurt.
But Kirek wasn’t giving up on her or himself. “No matter how long it takes for you to forgive me, I’ll still be here. Still wanting you.”
“I understand what you did and why. But forgiveness isn’t the issue.”
Sometimes she surprised him. He’d expected her to shout at him about her ship, but she hadn’t released any of her rage at him. If she could forgive him, maybe there was yet hope for them, maybe he hadn’t damaged their relationship so badly that they could not make up. “You can forgive me?”
“You claim you want a relationship, but your mission is so freakin’ important, and you’re so driven that I always come second. I don’t trust you not to betray me again. Trust must be earned, and how can I ever …” Her voice broke and turned raw with anger and pain. “Get out.”
Her pain clawed at his innards and shredded him. “Are you sure?”
Kirek didn’t like leaving her looking drawn and pale and on-edge. He especially didn’t like leaving her when he knew he was responsible for her unhappiness. He had no plan to make things right again. No idea what he could do—and that multiplied his frustration tenfold.
“I need to be alone.”
Stars. She was withdrawing, rejecting … him. “I don’t want to leave you. Not like this.”
She drilled him with a hard and bitter look. “We aren’t making up.”
He tried a half-charming, half-sheepish smile. “You’ll miss me.”
She wasn’t buying anything he had to sell. “I missed both my husbands after the marriages were over, but that didn’t stop me from divorcing them.” She lifted her chin and straightened her spine. “You and I, we weren’t that involved. I’ll get over you.”
“I’d hoped you’d be happier with me,” he tried again.
He should have known better. She was too upset for him to mention anything to do with contentment.
She squared her shoulders with a dignity that knifed him. “Actually, I believe I’ll be happier without you.”
“Then I’ll simply have to change your mind.”
“Out.” She pointed to her door.
“I was wrong not to talk to you. It was a mistake. A huge one. I’m so sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Then she looked away, dismissing him. But as he turned to leave, a tear brimmed in her eye, and although she shook, she stubbornly refused to allow it to fall, closing her eyes and denying herself even the relief of tears.
Kirek would have preferred she shout, hit him, or cry than receive this stiff silent treatment that he no doubt deserved. He had abused her trust. Yet she couldn’t quite master the indifference she was trying to project to shut him out, and when he saw the tiny crack in her armor, he used his psi and moved at the speed of thought, so she wouldn’t have time to protest.
One moment he stood in the door, the next he had gathered her against his chest. For one moment, he buried his nose in her hair and inhaled her scent. For one moment, he allowed himself the pleasure of once again touching her silky skin, hoping he could find a way to make up for what he’d done. Then Lion hissed and leaped away. Angel stiffened and cranked her neck to glower at Kirek.
“Let me hold you. Let me show you how much I care about you.”
“No.” She clenched her jaw stubbornly and pulled away with such determination that he let her go.
“Then I suppose you really don’t want to see how much you care about me?” he suggested, making his voice gentle.
“I’m done with you. From now on—”
“If you were done with your feelings for me, you wouldn’t be hurting right now.”
“I’m not a fool. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I trusted you. You betrayed my trust. Now I don’t trust you anymore. It’s that simple.”
“Come on, Angel.” He failed to keep the growl of frustration out of his voice, but he still managed to keep his tone gentle. “There were mitigating factors. Don’t you think I wanted to tell you about the Raven’s overhaul? Don’t you think I wished I didn’t have to repair the ship in secret? But if I’d asked and if you’d told me no, there was no longer time to purchase another ship, and you wouldn’t be making this journey with me. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
“You made your choice. Now, you’ve lost me anyway.”
“That’s harsh.”
She shrugged, picked up Lion, and stroked him. “That’s life.”
Chapter Seventeen
DURING THE NEXT few days, Angel buried her hurt in work. Every waking minute she spent either on the bridge or learning about the Raven’s new capabilities. She required the crew to learn, too. Frie spent all her time in engineering, Petroy at navigation, and Leval studied battle capabilities at the com. But as captain, Angel had to know everything from how long it took to jump to hyperspace to the limits of the shapeshifting mechanism to the nutrients required for the food materializers.
Keeping her mind active on the marvelous new technology was the best way to cope. However, while checking the inventory in the cargo hold, she found another terrific device to use to let off steam.
Ranth, a marvel of efficiency who had the capacity to carry on thousands of tasks, including many conversations at once, informed her, “The holosim will allow you to practice warrior skills against a programmed opponent.”
Angel spent at least an hour a day honing her skills with her favorite weapon—her blaster. But she also drilled in hand-to-hand combat, and since she’d given Ranth strict orders to make sure she didn’t run into Kirek, she’d successfully avoided him.
She programmed the holosim to allow her to punch and kick her imaginary opponent, and slowly she warmed up, then began a sweat. She jabbed with her left, punched with her right, and rolled left, appreciating the extra room and the new toy.
The larger Raven had so many advantages, she could have doubled as a luxury cruiser. There was an arboretum filled with plants that grew fresh fruits and herbs, a gym, and a kitchen with a materializer that could create any food she desired out of nutrients, as well as a sophisticated medical center that could heal bones or perform surgery.
The Raven’s new shapeshifting mode was a spectacular mix of engineering and technology that she didn’t understand and probably never would. When the ship changed shape, nanotechnology expanded or contracted matter, and the special shielding made the hull five times stronger. The weapons … a girl could drool over the laser cannons, never mind the fleet busters and the fire dousers. Her new hyperdrive engines were a marvel—and the systems were in triplicate, so that even if two failed, the third could still carry on alone.
Angel stopped the combat program for a moment, rubbed her overheated brow, and gave her suit a moment to cool her. Her thoughts kept roaming, and if she wasn’t careful, they always circled around to Kirek. Angel required a higher level of difficulty to make herself focus. “Ranth, change the holosim level to six, please.”
“Compliance.”
A new holosim formed, bigger, stronger, and faster than the last. But despite the necessity of increasing her physical efforts along with her psi energy, her mind refused to concentrate.
With different decks and several passages to the bridge, she’d avoided Kirek, so far. But a few days hadn’t been enough time to heal the open wound. She might need weeks or months to stop fee
ling battered by what had occurred. It didn’t help that she totally understood his point of view.
She kicked, spun, placed a back-hand slice to a throat. In turn she walked right into a jab, which stung, but she knew a real one would have snapped her neck. Damn. She shifted and punched, knowing that in a real situation she couldn’t count on her opponents to pull their punches.
For a few moments she pummeled the holosim, pretending he was Kirek. She’d only wanted a fling. It shouldn’t have been so painful to end, but she seemed to be hurting as badly as when her marriages ended. She told herself she hurt because sex had turned into a relationship, and the end of her relationship meant a failure, a failure in judgment. All along she’d known Kirek would do whatever he must to complete his mission. She just hadn’t ever thought that her own desires would stand in the way of his … or that he would trample her wishes with the same determination that he’d dealt with the Kraj.
Ranth interrupted her session with a warning. “Your heart is racing faster than the program recommends. Your blood pressure is—”
“I’m fine.” She jammed an elbow into her opponent’s gut, and he hooked her foot, taking her to the mat. She curled, fell, and rolled.
By now she knew Kirek well enough to understand that beneath his charming, laid-back attitude was another facet. He was much more complicated than the man he showed to the world and also possibly to her.
He’d avoided talking about how he intended to get to the Zin. Oh, when they’d spoken, he’d smoothly led the subject in a different direction, telling her how the ship’s new shielding hid his psi, but she’d still sensed his evasive tactics with an instinct that had yet to let her down.
If she wasn’t in such debt, she could have given up the idea of salvaging the Zin world and parted ways with Kirek. However, now there was so much more at stake than her own wants and needs—like all of Earth, and the entire Federation. If she turned her back on Kirek, it would be like turning her back on everyone and everything she knew. She couldn’t just give up. It was no more in her nature to turn around and run away than it was for her to stay home and make babies.
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