Mac glanced at his watch. “I need to pick Jenna up at the airport. She caught an early-morning flight.”
Braden nodded. “Go ahead. We’ll discuss a game plan and I’ll fill you in later.”
Once Mac stepped out, Jack and Braden sat down at the desk. He wanted to solve this damn case the FBI had entrusted him with. His priorities had shifted, but he was still keeping his guard up, as he suspected Braden was, too.
“I’m going to go out front and get the store ready to open,” Laney stated. “I’ll keep this door shut for privacy.”
Ryker pulled up a chair beside Braden, his dark eyes narrowing in on Jack. “You need to talk to Viv before we get started?”
Jack shook his head. “No. She has nothing to do with this anymore.” But even as he said the words, he knew they weren’t true.
“I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but—”
“No, you don’t.” Jack settled back in his chair as he cut off Braden’s words. “Now, let’s get to work.”
Jack pushed Viv out of his mind so he could concentrate on this all-important meeting.
Too bad he couldn’t push her out of his heart.
Eighteen
Martha was all too eager to watch Katie for the evening, but Viv assured her she wouldn’t be long. Valentine’s Day sucked, and heading to Jack’s house was just salt in the wound. But she had things that needed to be said. Once she got all this off her chest, maybe...
No. She wouldn’t feel any better. She’d still feel empty inside, but she had to tell him how she felt and had to defend herself. Added to that, she needed to return all these presents.
She’d piled the ridiculous toys he’d bought into her car. Where on earth would she house a tiny sports car, anyway? Katie didn’t need such extravagant gifts and Viv was doing her best to cut all ties with Jack. That was what he’d wanted, after all.
He’d made it perfectly clear that she was of no use to him any longer. But she knew he still cared for her. He wouldn’t be so hurt if he didn’t care. Plus, she’d seen the way he looked at her, felt how perfectly he’d touched her. They shared a bond whether he wanted it or not. Viv just wished that was enough to get them back where they needed to be. She’d give anything to be able to turn back the clock and hand him that journal the second she’d discovered it.
But she’d made the best decision at the time. At least she thought she had. Hindsight and all that.
Viv pulled in a breath as she tugged her coat tighter around her neck. The snow would not let up. This would be a great night for all those lovers to stay indoors.
She cursed Valentine’s Day again as she rang the bell at Jack’s Beacon Hill home.
In moments, the wide door swung open and Tilly greeted her with a smile. “Honey, come on in. It’s freezing out there.”
Viv stepped into the foyer, forcing herself not to look around the house for the man she’d dreamed about all night. She needed to drop the toys off and leave. That’s all. Now that she was here in his domain, she couldn’t talk to him. What would be the point? He was so furious with her. He hadn’t spoken to her or reached out to her at all since he’d left her bed.
“I can’t stay,” Viv informed Tilly. She needed to get out of here. “I have some things in my car that belong to Jack.”
Tilly’s brows rose. “Oh, well. I’ll go get him—”
“No!” Viv didn’t mean to shout, but she didn’t want to make this evening any more unbearable than necessary. “I mean, I can carry them in.”
Tilly tipped her head to the side, reaching out to grab Viv’s hands. Her warm touch threatened to break Viv. She was already so close to an emotional breakdown...she just didn’t have time for one.
“I don’t know what happened with you guys,” Tilly started. “But he’s a grouchy bear. I can’t get him to eat. He stays in his office and only asks me to bring him more bourbon. I’ve seen him like this just one other time.”
When his wife died. The words hovered in the air as if she’d said them.
Viv swallowed the tears clogging her throat. “It’s all my fault,” she whispered.
“I’m sure it can be fixed.” The elderly woman wrapped her arm around Viv and squeezed. “Go talk to him.”
Viv shook her head. “He’s angry, and rightfully so. I just think it’s best if I drop off all these things and be on my way.”
Tilly eased back and patted Viv’s hands. “His wife was taken from him too soon. You’re the first woman I’ve ever seen him interested in since that time. Are you sure you want to throw all of that away because you’re afraid?”
Viv closed her eyes. Was she willing to risk more humiliation and rejection?
“He’s upstairs in his study.” Tilly took a step back and gestured toward the grand stairway. “I’ll be finishing up in the kitchen before I go. You can bring the toys into the foyer and take off, or you can do what you know in your heart is the right thing. Either way, I’ll be leaving shortly.”
Tilly headed down the hall to the kitchen.
Viv’s chest was heavy as she eyed the steps. She’d never been upstairs, but she wasn’t going to let this moment pass her by. She’d say her piece, put the ball in his court, then be gone.
If he truly wanted to sever all ties, then at least she’d know she’d done her part.
Viv gripped the carved newel post and willed her legs to carry her up the steps. Nerves threatened to take over, to force her to turn back around and get out. But Jack was facing one of the most difficult situations of his life and he was justified in his feelings toward her. She couldn’t apologize enough, but she wasn’t going to miss the chance to say it one last time.
The wide hallway was dark, except for the dim light shining beneath one closed door. Viv pulled in a shaky breath and crossed the distance. She tapped lightly on the door with her knuckles.
“Go away, Tilly. I’m fine.”
He didn’t sound fine. He sounded...crushed.
Viv didn’t knock again, but merely turned the knob and pushed the door open. He was already angry at her. Barging in on his personal space was nothing compared to what she’d done.
“Tilly, I...”
He glanced up from behind his desk, the words dying on his lips as he met her gaze across the room. Viv’s heart beat heavily against her chest. She clutched the knob for support as she remained frozen in place.
“I came by to return the toys,” she stated. “I, um, well, Tilly said you were up here and...”
The way he sat unmoving, without saying a word, had her nerves spiraling out of control. But she’d come this far and she was going to get this out.
“I know you hate me.” She eased forward, one slow step at a time, across the expansive office. “You have every right and I don’t blame you. But when I found that journal, I was stunned. My immediate thought was to get it straight to you, but then I realized what that truth would do to you. You think of nothing but justice. When I learned about your wife and child, I understood how deep your need for justice went. You’ve been trying to bring the O’Sheas down for so long and I didn’t want to be the one to crush you.”
Motionless, Jack stared at her. The bottle of bourbon sat on the corner of his desk, and he clutched an empty tumbler in his hand. Was he drunk? Was he even listening?
“I kept it hidden, waiting for the right time, hoping the case would wrap up and I could present it to you. I wanted you to be able to separate work from this bombshell because I knew the case was so important.”
She stopped at his desk. Tugging the tie on her coat a little tighter, she wished she had something else to do with her shaky hands. Those green eyes held her in place, pinning her with an unreadable expression.
“But then the timing didn’t matter,” she went on, biting her bottom lip to prevent
the trembling. She attempted to tamp down the tears, but her eyes filled. “I started falling for you. The attraction I’d had for so long turned into something I didn’t expect.”
Jack came to his feet, setting his glass aside. “Viv—”
“No, let me get this out, then I’ll go.”
She didn’t want him to kick her out, not until she explained herself and apologized the proper way.
“When my feelings got stronger, I cursed the day I found that journal. I didn’t want to know that truth, didn’t want to carry it around with me, to hold such a burden. I knew it would hurt you no matter when I told you. But I didn’t want to be that person, Jack. I didn’t want to be the one who had to drop this bomb into your life.”
Viv swiped at the tear that slid down her cheek. “I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry I kept something so vital from you. But at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing by saving you heartache.”
Viv took a step back, blinking the moisture from her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “That’s...that’s all I wanted to say.”
She spun on her heel, more than ready to get out of this room, this house. The ache of seeing him again spread through her and she had no idea how the hell she was going to recover, but she had no choice. She would get through this, in time...she hoped. A little girl was depending on her.
Firm hands gripped her, hauling her back against his chest. “Don’t go.”
Viv’s heart slammed against her chest. “I can’t stay, Jack. I’ve said all I need to say.”
He spun her around to face him. The intensity of his gaze had never been so powerful, so raw.
“Well, I haven’t said all I need to, and you’re going to listen.”
She nodded. He deserved to say whatever he wanted, and the hell he was about to throw at her was completely justified.
Jack stepped aside and pointed to the chaise in front of the wall of books. On any other day, she’d marvel at the entire wall of hardbacks, but since she would never be here again, she’d have to just commit the scene to memory.
“Sit down.”
Viv shouldn’t have been surprised at his aggressive tone, but, well...she was. Without a word, she crossed and took a seat, sliding her fingers along the velvety arm of the chair.
“I’ve thought about nothing else since I saw that journal,” he began, pacing like a caged animal. “My father was a criminal, I’ve been working to destroy my half siblings, only to find they are legit, and the woman I trusted most lied to my face.”
Viv glanced down to the ends of her coat ties. She toyed with a single dangling thread.
“No, you don’t get to look away.”
She glanced up to find him standing before her. Hands on his hips, he glared down at her.
“You came to me. Now you’re going to listen.”
She glanced at the bottle on his desk. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked.
Jack snorted. “Not enough to dull the pain, but I’m not drunk.”
Viv bit her lips, nerves dancing in her belly, because she had no clue what he was about to tell her. And he was right. She’d come to him, so she would listen.
“Braden and I have come up with a plan and I’ve gone to the Feds with it. They don’t need to know any more than the fact Braden and I are working together. They trust me and they know I’ll find the people responsible for this crime.”
Viv nodded, glad for that at least. Maybe if he and Braden did this together, Jack would slowly ease into the idea that the O’Sheas weren’t monsters.
“That’s great,” she told him. “I’m happy for you.”
He raked a hand over his face and stared up at the ceiling. Only the Tiffany lamp on his desk cast any light in the room. But she saw the pain in his eyes, sensed the frustration rolling off him. She’d hurt him, but he still cared. She felt it.
“I only want what’s best for you,” she went on. “I know it doesn’t seem like that, but I do.”
“That’s the other thing that has haunted me.” He spread his feet wide, crossed his arms and pinned her with that sultry gaze. “I’ve looked at this from every angle. Mine, yours. I want to push you out of my life for hurting me.”
“I understand and I don’t blame you.” Guilt fueled another round of tears. “I’ll just go.”
She’d started to stand, when Jack’s hands came down on her shoulders and forced her back down.
“You’re staying right here.” Viv didn’t know what to say, especially when Jack squatted down in front of her. “I’m not done talking.”
“I get that you’re hurting, but we’ve said everything.” She had to get out of here. “Let me unload my car and I’ll be out of your life for good.”
Jack dropped his head, blew out a breath before looking back up into her eyes. “I don’t want you gone, Viv.”
Hope slammed into her. “What?”
He reached up and gripped her hands. “I’m upset, yes, but I understand why you did what you did. Hell, I don’t know that I’d have done things differently had I been in your position.”
Viv blinked, sure she’d heard him wrong.
“When I was torn over what to do about approaching Braden and Mac, I caught a glimpse into what you must have gone through. And that was for people I didn’t particularly care about. I know you care about me, so I can only guess how much that tore you up.”
Viv pulled her hands from his and stood, causing him to rise, as well. “No. Don’t forgive me, Jack. That’s not why I’m here. I just—I wanted you to accept my apology. I know we can’t go back to where we were. I don’t deserve it.”
She shoved her hands inside her coat pockets. “I need to get back home.”
“Will you just stop?” he demanded, when she started to move past him.
Standing shoulder to shoulder with Jack, she froze, not glancing to her left, where he stood a breath away.
“Damn it, Viv. You love me. Why are you doing this? I’m trying to forgive you. I’m trying to tell you that I’m sorry, too, for thinking the worst. For not listening to your side from the beginning.”
Air caught in her lungs as she turned fully toward him. “What?”
“You love me,” he said softly, smiling this time. “I know you do or you wouldn’t have been so upset about the journal.”
She closed her eyes. “You’re sorry,” she whispered. “I hurt you and you’re apologizing. You had every right to—”
He slammed his mouth down onto hers, gripping her wrists at her sides. Jack wasn’t gentle, wasn’t slow. He consumed her as if he were claiming her all over again. Jack nipped at her lips before easing back to look her in the eyes. “I may not like what you did,” he murmured. “But I understand why you did it. And don’t bother fighting me or telling me you don’t love me, because that won’t work at all with my plans.”
“What are your plans? To kiss me like you love me, when you know exactly how I feel?”
He laughed, easing her arms behind her back to draw her arched body into his. “Oh, but Viv. I do love you. And that’s why I was so hurt.”
Viv’s heart quickened as she stared up into his eyes. “You what?”
His mouth quirked. “I can admit when I was wrong and I can admit that I love you. I knew I was falling for you, but when I left your apartment, I realized it was love. Someone I didn’t care about couldn’t get close enough to make it hurt so bad.”
Viv closed her eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted the exact opposite.”
“I know.” He nipped at her lips again. “I know you didn’t want to hurt me.”
Jack pulled back, stared down at her, making her wonder what was going to happen next. Where they would go from here. He loves me. The words swirled in her head, her heart. She’d never expected him to return her feel
ings, never thought he’d forgive her, let alone love her.
“I’m waiting.”
Viv narrowed her eyes. “For what?”
He leaned into her, causing her body to arch even further into his. He continued to hold her arms behind her back and Viv ached for his touch, sans clothes.
“For you to tell me you love me. I want the words.”
Viv licked her lips, pleased when his eyes watched her mouth. “I love you, Jack. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I ever made you doubt my loyalty. But I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life.”
He started for her mouth again, but Viv turned her head. “Wait.”
“What?”
She glanced back. “If you love me, why were you holed up here worrying Tilly to death?”
“I was in a pissy mood about how to approach you,” he confessed. “I was coming to your place tomorrow, but I was working through my plan of action to get you back.”
Viv raised her brows. “And what was the plan you’d concocted?”
Jack released her hands and immediately went for the tie on her coat. After he peeled the garment off and sent it to the floor, he tugged at the closure on her jeans.
“My plan was to strip you naked, have my way with you and tie you to my bed until you believed me.”
Arousal shot through her. “You can still do all those things, but I’m going to have to text Martha first and tell her I’ll be a little later than I thought.”
Jack gripped the V of her button-up shirt and jerked, sending buttons flying across the room. “I have a feeling she won’t mind.”
Viv tipped her head back as Jack feasted on her neck, then made his way down to her chest. She’d text Martha...in a bit.
Epilogue
One year later...
“Happy Birthday to you,” the whole crew sang.
“Hard to believe she’s two already,” Jack stated, as Viv helped Katie blow out the two little purple candles on her three-tiered cake. Maybe he’d gone overboard when he ordered the cake, but he did tell Viv she could handle everything else.
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