by Vicki Green
Caylan: Goodnight, love. I miss you so much.
Dammit! I tighten the grasp on my phone and bring it to my chest, covering it with my other hand. I feel the tears brimming in my eyes. I let out a quiet sob as they flow down my face. I know I’m being stubborn and should probably be there supporting him, but I can’t help the way I feel. He slept with that woman and could possibly be the father of her unborn child. A baby. A piece of Caylan in a little bundle. I let out a long breath and stare up at the ceiling, tears sliding down into my hair. My chest heaves with my sobbing. I can’t seem to stop. Should I go to him? Should I leave him alone to deal with this? I don’t know what to do. My heart says to go — my mind says to stay away. I’ve always been so strong. When it comes to guys though, I’m a mess. I vowed I would never be like my mom. I swore I wouldn’t get near any men like the ones who came in and out of our lives. I just won’t do that to myself. And what do I do? I fell for a womanizer. I really believe he is trying to change, that he wants only me but how can I deal with his past? I roll over onto my side, keeping my phone against my chest. The one time I finally find someone I give some of my heart to and this is what happens. Feeling more than sorry for myself, I close my eyes.
“You can’t go to work. You can’t even walk!”
The morning came with no sleep for me but after taking a shower I feel a little more human. I came downstairs and asked Brock to give me a ride back to my apartment so I can get my truck and go to Pops Bar. Taren has been yelling at me ever since. Brock shrugs his shoulders at me then gives Taren a kiss and heads out the door. I look at the worried look on her face and my heart drops. “I called Pop. He said I can help out in the kitchen, sitting down. I can give Mimi a hand preparing some food.” I hobble over on my crutches and give her a one armed hug. “Don’t worry. I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow.” I move back and give her my best smile. Well, I think it is a smile. “I can’t just sit around and do nothing. Too much time to think. Besides, I’m gonna need rent money so I have to work.” She pouts and I have to hold in my laugh.
“You know I hate you living there. It’s such a bad neighborhood. I don’t know why you don’t move into the apartment Brock and I lived in. It’s so close to Pops, affordable, and so much safer.” She’s right but with my knee the way it is and everything going on, I hate to throw moving into the mix. She must see I’m thinking about it because the corner of her mouth lifts. “Just think about it, okay.”
I roll my eyes and she bounces, clapping her hands. “Okay. I have no idea how I’d be able to move when I’m having trouble even walking.”
She throws her arm around my shoulders. “Brock and Kane will help and I’ll do what I can. Hell, I bet Pop would even help.” My eyes roll up into my head again as we walk towards the door. Well, she walks, I hobble. “You know you’re like a daughter to him and he hates you living in that area too.” Yes, I know. Everyone hates me living there. It’s not that bad as long as you keep away from the crack heads hanging around there.
Taren and I say goodbye with me promising my life that I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow and move. Once Brock drops me off and asking if I want him to walk me to my door, which I told him no in a sort of nice way, I have about an hour to kill before I need to go to work. So I called Brock’s old apartment building manager and his apartment is still for rent. Of course I took it, I’m not stupid. Then I wrote out all the issues I’ve been having with this apartment for over a year, showing that everything on the list is still not fixed and gimped myself to the managers apartment and shoved it in his chest. I proceeded to tell him that was my notice and I’d be out by the end of the weekend. He only stood there with his mouth dropped open. I went back to my place and texted Brock that he and Kane are moving me on Saturday and the only reply I got was a smiley face. Now, if I can just make it through the stupid doctor’s appointment tomorrow and get all my shit packed, I’ll be doing good. Great thing about it, I don’t have that much to pack. I’ve never really felt at home here so I didn’t put much out in the way of luxuries. I’m actually a little excited about moving into Brock and Taren’s old place. Always loved it there. Felt a little more like a home.
I took a shower, which is not fun holding one leg up, and put on some clean clothes. Since I’m working back in the kitchen it affords me to not have to dress so slinky, not having to worry about being seen, and I won’t get hit on by guys either. Score! It takes a little maneuvering to get into my truck, setting the crutches down on the floorboard of the passenger side and lean them against the seat. Thank God, it was my left knee so I can still press down on the gas pedal without pain shooting up my leg.
Work has been so easy, I almost feel bad taking money from Pops for this. I’ve been sitting at the center table chopping vegetables, making salads, garnishing plates, and drinking Diet Cokes. Tough job. No guys to hit on me and Mimi and I have been talking up a storm. She’s a hoot! Bad thing is: I drank a ton of Diet Cokes and munched on way too much. Not being able to work out, I’m gonna get so fat. Mimi and I also had some great talks about my situation with Caylan. She’s always been like kind of a mom to me and normally makes me feel better. Not this time. It wouldn’t matter who tried to make me feel better at this point. Nothing would unless that woman got hit by a train. No, I’m only kidding. Maybe.
I just put the finishing touches on the top of a salad when I freeze with the sound of his voice. No! Not now. I’m just not in the mood. I may never be in the mood.
“Yo! So what time you want us over at your place on Saturday?” I turn my head to see Kane walking towards me. Crap. I roll my eyes and glare at him. “What?” He moves his hands up, palms out, like he’s surrendering. Yeah, right. He walks over, cautiously, and leans down on the counter on his arms. “You don’t have that much stuff. We can probably get everything in all our trucks.” I put my elbow down on the counter in front of me and rest my chin on my hand. “’Course, we’d get it done even faster if Caylan helped.” I let out a sigh and close my eyes. “Aw, c’mon, Irish. You’re making something outta nothin’.” I open my eyes slowly and see his mouth turned up in a grin. He stands up and starts to turn around but stops and winks at me. “No need to worry. He got called out of town tomorrow and probably won’t be back until the end of the weekend. Had to let him take tomorrow off.” My eyes widen as my brows raise in surprise. He starts to walk out of the kitchen, looks over his shoulder and shrugs at me, then leaves out the swinging double doors.
What the hell? Where would he need to go out of town and why? Is it because of that floozy? And Kane HAD to let him off tomorrow. Hmm. My anger is starting to build but my curiosity might get the better of me. It shouldn’t bother me. I asked him to leave me alone, give me time. Dammit, I want to know. His text last night said he missed me. Why would he say that and then be going out of town with her? I’m so confused.
“You know, if you’d talk to him, you might not be driving yourself crazy right now.” I look up and see Mimi standing in front of me. She smiles and pats my shoulder. “Talk to him, Irish. Throw him a bone. You can’t expect him to do all the work.” My mouth drops open. “Oh! Don’t look at me like that. You know I’m right. I know that you feel that every man is out for only sex, and that may be true for some, but honey – not all men are like that. Now, I’m not saying this to guilt trip you but to make a point. After everything he’s done for this family and Brock’s, how he didn’t hesitate to put his own life in danger for theirs – that says something about a man. You told me he doesn’t want any other woman, that he only wants you. So, his past caught up with him and what if he ends up being the father of that sweet unborn baby? Does that mean he can’t love you too? Does it mean he isn’t a good guy and will still do right by you?” My mouth snaps shut. She leans down and kisses the top of my head. “Go to the doctor tomorrow and see about your knee. Take care of it and get yourself better. But first, go home, take a nice hot bath with some of that smelly stuff and call him before you go to bed tonight. Make things right or a
t least get them started. Trust is a two-way street and you’re still on the curb.” I watch her walk off smiling, rubbing her hands together like she just solved world peace. She does have a few good points though. Dammit.
Chapter Eleven
Caylan
The day has been long at work, not hearing a word from Irish. I decided to try to back off, not contacting her so she would have some time. My fear is that she’ll think it into the ground, like she normally does everything, and I’ll never hear or see from her again. I’m at a loss, not sure what to do. Do I go after her, make her see? Or do I stay away and hope that after the DNA testing is done next week that I can try to talk to her then? Fuck!
After lunch, Brock asked me out for a beer with him and Kane when we get done today but I declined. Knowing that Irish could be there working made me worried that she’ll think I’m there to talk. Then I got angry thinking she could be working tonight. How in the hell could she work on crutches? I envisioned me walking in the bar, seeing her behind the counter, and walking straight to her, picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder and taking her back to my place. Something tells me the caveman approach won’t work with her. That would really make her want to stay away from me even more.
I tell Brock, Kane, and the crew goodnight then walk to my truck. Just as I reached it my phone starts vibrating. I grab it from my pocket and look to see who’s calling. Anxiousness takes over as I pick up the call.
“Cap. What’s up?” He never calls unless he needs me to trail, protect, or help capture a wanted person. That’s how I met Irish in the first place. Trailing and protecting her and Taren. He’s a friend of Deans, the police chief here in town that knows Brock and Kane. Otherwise, I probably never would have been called to come help them. Mom and Jen always hated that I did these jobs but it’s something that I’ve always felt compelled to do. I’ve always loved helping people and giving my services undercover has allowed me to do that without all the recognition that I never wanted. I’ve always wanted to protect people, help rid what I can of the bad people in the world. I know what I do is small in comparison but I try to do what I can.
“Caylan. There’s a wanted man held up in a small town about forty-five miles from where you are. I need you to go bring him back to Dean there. He’s a small fish in the sea and we want the big fish. Got me?” Hmmm. So he wants a connection to someone else. Probably wants him for questioning but wants me to make this guy think he’s the one going to prison. Hopefully, he’ll be scared enough to spill his guts.
“On it, Cap.”
“Good. You need to go tomorrow. I’ll clear it with your boss there if needed.”
“Nah, he’ll be cool.” After everything that happened with Brock and Taren, Kane knows now that I sometimes work undercover so I’m sure he’ll be okay with me taking a day off.
“Okay. I’ll text you the place. I’ll call my friend at the station there in case you need backup. I’ll put that information in the text too. Keep me updated.”
“Right. Okay. Will do.”
I end the call and walk right over to Kane’s truck. Good thing he hadn’t left yet. Of course, after talking with him, he just patted me on my back and told me to be careful. Nice guy. He and I are alike in so many ways. He works out like I do but he’s also a womanizer, like I used to be. Hope he turns his life around and meets someone he wants to spend it with before it’s too late. I know I wish I hadn’t been that way now. When I tried to talk about it to him, he just laughed and told me not to worry. Said he’s too young to think about being tied down and that there’s too many women out there to think about that now. Guess he’ll learn the hard way, like I did.
I slowly drive by Pops Bar on the way home and see Irish’s truck. Anger sweeps over me along with worry. Why didn’t she stay home and take care of her knee? She’s gonna end up hurting it more. I try to control myself and keep driving. It won’t do me any good to go storming in there, probably embarrassing her in front of everyone, and being all caveman on her. Even though that’s exactly what I want to do. Once I get home, I take a long shower. Doesn’t help that when I take ahold of my hard cock and close my eyes, all I see is her. I remember how her soft skin felt underneath the roughness of my fingers. Her smell — roses mixed with a peach scent. Doesn’t help when I imagine her beneath me, ample breasts, rose colored nipples, and how her stomach is flat showing the dip of her navel. Dammit! Just shot a load into my hand. This is what she does to me. No other woman has come anywhere close. Now with that crazy woman holed up in her hotel room and my girl not wanting anything to do with me, I’m asked to go out of town. That could take up my entire weekend. God, I hope not. This whole thing is making me insane. Margie coming here. The possibility that I’m gonna be a daddy and Irish not wanting me. I just don’t understand women. Oh, I understand their sexual needs, their desires, but their way of thinking about things — nope. Not one bit.
I grab me a quick bite to eat, not really having much of an appetite, then go to bed. But all I do is stare up at the ceiling and think about Irish. Is she in bed? Is she thinking about me at all? Does she miss me as much as I miss her, even though she’d never admit it? I let out a big breath and reach for my phone. With leaving town tomorrow and every time I go on one of these “man hunts”, there’s always a chance something could happen. I try not to think about that, keeping my mind only on my mission.
I called Margie. She moved into a better, more expensive hotel today. Of course. I explained that I have to go out of town for a couple of days and told her just to put anything she needs on the room there. I’m sure she will. The bill from the cheaper hotel for just two nights came to five hundred dollars, with everything she charged for meals, room service, and the gift shop there. Not sure what all she needed that cost so much but I didn’t ask. I don’t want anything personal between us. At all.
I start shooting off texts. Mom and Jen will know I’m going after someone. I always send them these when I do. They’ll worry until they hear back from me, but they know it’s something I have to do.
Me: Mom, I love you. See you soon.
Me: Always remember I love you, sis. See you soon.
Just one more and then I need to try to force myself to get some sleep. Can’t go hunting and be sleep deprived.
Me: Irish. Try to remember the amazing times we had together. Think about what could be instead of what’s in my past. Try to trust me for once and know that I would never intentionally hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you but it’s my past that is, not my future. Our future. Just think about that. Please? I miss you.
No way am I gonna worry her and tell her what is going on. If she’d be mine or if I find out that I’m the father of Margie’s baby, I’ll quit this extra job, even though the money is huge. I won’t take the chance on something happening to me with either or both of them in my life. I need to be around to take care of them. I won’t take any more chances.
Finally, I lay down and close my eyes but as usual, all I see is her.
I left before the sun even had a chance to show even a sliver of itself. The element of surprise will be on my side. Cap texted me this guys address so I had plugged it into my GPS. I stopped for some coffee and gassed up my truck on the way out of town. The bad thing about going after these guys is the travel time. Too much time to think. I had no text from Irish before I left, I’m hoping that’s because she is asleep. She has her doctor’s appointment today so I’ll be texting Taren later to make sure she went and hopefully have some news from her doctor. She needs to take better care of herself. Stubborn. Then again, I want to be the one to take care of her. I’ve never taken care of anyone but myself, never wanted to either. Now, it’s all I think about. I want to make sure she’s safe, work out with her at the gym, take her out to dinner and make sure she’s eating right. I want to tuck her into bed at night after we’ve made love. I want to keep her sated and happy, snuggle up behind her and holding her all night.
I slam my fist against the steering
wheel. Dammit!
By the time the sun is barely over the horizon, I pull onto the street where this man is supposedly hiding out. The neighborhood is run down. Trash litters the street, the yards and the small houses that have barely any space between them are covered with junk and more trash. Most of the house are falling apart. “Nice place,” I mumble. Creeping down the street, I see that it’s a dead end, so I turn my truck around and shut off the engine and lights. Another hard part of this job is the waiting game. Will he make a move or will I have to go in and get him? I lay my head back on the seat and get comfortable. This may take a while.
Four hours later and I’m still sitting here, watching the house five doors down on the other side of the street. No movement at the house and the street is fairly quiet. Only a few people have come onto the street or gone outside to pick up their newspaper. It’s eerily quiet. I jump a bit when my phone vibrates on the passenger seat. When I pick it up and look at the screen, I smile when I see her name. But it fades fast.
Irish: I have to have surgery on my knee. Not my fault. When I fell it reinjured an old injury from softball, a long time ago. Just wanted to let you know.
Me: I’m glad you told me. When is it?
Irish: 2 weeks. He wants to get the swelling down. Put me on different pain meds.
Me: Will you stay off it and be careful?
Irish: I’m trying.
Me: Good. You know I’ll worry.
Silence. I keep an eye out as I text but no movement. The street is as silent as my phone. I let out a sigh. My phone goes off again.
Irish: I know. How’s things?
I smile, liking how she wants to keep talking.
Me: Things are ok. Not sure of anything until next week. You? Are you working with your bum knee?
