by Emma Miller
Evie took a bite of the chili and almost rolled her eyes in delight. “Oh, man,” she murmured. “This is delicious.”
“Mmm-hmm,” Gavin agreed.
After a few minutes of silence, he shot her a glance. “Remember when I said dinner dates were always terrible because you spend all your energy trying not to spill anything on yourself and make a bad impression? I think this breaks that rule.”
“Is this a dinner date?”
“Well, we’re eating dinner. And we’re...”
Dating. That was the word he was going to use, Evie was sure of it. She felt her face grow warm. Their gazes held.
“Coach Sawyer?” Someone small was calling in the gym. “Coach? Are you back here?” A dark-haired boy came around the corner. His T-shirt hung on his shoulders like a tent, and his shoes were more than a few months past their replacement date.
“Hey, Harrison. Let me take my tray back to the kitchen and you can help me get everything set up.” Gavin shot Evie a wink and stood up. She was surprised to see his bowl was clean.
Evie hurried to finish her cornbread and took a gulp of milk. She really needed to focus. As soon as he was out of view, or out of range, whatever it was, she felt like she could think more clearly. Was she pretending to be something she wasn’t? You can’t go back and change the past; sometimes you can’t fix what’s been broken. Before anything else happened, she needed to talk about the way she’d made enough money to buy her paper.
How could he possibly get past the fact that her whole life was funded by the fact she’d sold pictures of his sister? That her dreams had come true when she’d destroyed his family? There were other people at fault, but she couldn’t ignore that she was one of them. Her stomach twisted and she tried to breathe deeply. Gavin loved Allison and Sean more than anyone in the world. Evie couldn’t imagine how he would react if he knew what she’d done to them.
No more church dates, no more impromptu dinners and certainly no more kisses in the woods until she told him the truth. Lord, give me courage to be honest.
Chapter Twelve
Gavin rushed down the long hospital hallway, yanking on the quarantine gown as he went. It was nearly deserted at this time of night. Or morning, technically.
It seemed like the day would never end. The call had come in to the office when he was just heading home, too exhausted to keep working, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep before starting all over again. He’d been up for almost twenty-four hours straight. That bowl of Marisol’s chili seemed forever ago. But what he felt was nothing to what he knew was happening to the people in the room ahead.
His heart was pounding out of his chest and he could feel sweat beading his forehead. I commend this patient to the Great Physician, guide our hands. He grabbed the patient file from the holder by the door and flipped through it. He snapped on the mask, then the shoe covers and finally the gloves. He pushed open the door to the tiny examining room with his shoulder, calling out a low greeting as he entered.
Calista sat in the far corner, Gabriel cradled against her chest. Her eyes were huge and pleading. There were monitors hooked to Gabriel’s chest, and a small clip was taped to his foot, measuring his oxygen levels. The number of machines running in the room made a constant cacophony of beeps.
“Hey, there.” He moved closer, slowing his breathing, struggling to seem calm. She was panicked enough without seeing his fear.
“His pediatrician just left. Did he call you?” Her voice was low and unsteady. She looked like a woman doing her best to stay on the far side of total panic. And failing.
Gavin nodded.
“He was fine yesterday at his three-week checkup, and then he felt hot during the night. At about nine this morning, he was running a fever. I thought it was because I was keeping him close to me, so I unwrapped him. He wasn’t coughing, but he seemed like he was breathing too fast. That’s when he started shaking.” Calista’s eyes filled with tears and she sucked in a breath. “Grant said we had to come in right away. He’s downstairs filling out paperwork.”
A fever and fussiness were the first signs in infants. The cough came later. If they caught it early enough, the worst could be averted.
“I’m tough. I’ve given a lot of bad news in my life and taken some, too. I need to know what’s happening. But—” she paused, swallowing hard “—tell me gently. Please.”
“I’ll tell you everything I know. And we’ll talk it through.” He knew her fear. Not as a parent, but as a man who had watched this disease ravage infants in this very hospital.
Gabriel gave a whimper and Calista readjusted him against her chest. He was sleeping but restless.
“Pertussis destroys the lung tissue, as you probably know. If we can catch it quickly enough, we can lessen the damage with antibiotic prophylaxis. If Gabriel hasn’t begun coughing, then there’s a very good chance that he’ll make a full and complete recovery. They’ve got his sample in the lab right now. We’re going to go ahead and start on the antibiotics for Gabriel and for you and Grant because there’s a real chance that it’s pertussis.”
Her face seemed to crumple under the weight of her fear and grief.
He reached out and touched her arm. “Calista, you did the right thing to bring him in immediately. If he was a year old, and there wasn’t this epidemic, it would probably be just a cold. But we’ve had hundreds more cases in just a few months, more than we had all last year. We can’t take a chance that it’s not, as young as he is.”
Calista nodded, pressing her lips together. “Will you pray with me? I’m so scared.” Her voice broke on the last word.
“Of course. And I’ll stay with you until Grant gets here.” Gavin held out his hand and she gripped it, hard. They bowed their heads and asked God’s mercy on the brand-new life, now struggling against an invisible enemy.
* * *
“Thanks for inviting us out. We’ve been going stir-crazy in that little apartment.” Allison gave Evie a brief hug. Sean and Jaden took off for the slide at a run, or as fast as they could manage in six inches of snow. The park was relatively quiet for a Wednesday morning. A few moms huddled on benches, chatting.
“Jaden was sad to miss the playdate last time. I think the excitement of a new baby has worn off.” Evie stuffed her hands in her pockets and tried to look at ease. Her heart was pounding already and she hadn’t even started.
A few long nights of tossing, turning and a lot of praying had led to this moment. Before she talked to Gavin, Evie needed to ask for forgiveness from the woman she’d hurt. She felt like a soldier headed to war, sick with fear.
Allison didn’t seem to notice her nervousness. “Sean wants a little brother. But I told him we might get a dog instead.”
Evie smiled, thinking of how most kids want a dog and get a baby sibling instead.
“Gavin said you were a big help at the soccer practice.”
“He did?” Evie couldn’t stop the tone of surprise. She hadn’t felt very useful. “I spent most of the time trying not to get hit in the head with a ball. Some of those kids can really kick.”
Allison waved her toward a bench. “I know I’ll regret it, but I’d rather sit down. They should have auto-warming benches in Denver, don’t you think?”
She snorted. “I can get up a petition in the paper. Enough people write in about it and the mayor just might pay for a few of them.”
They watched the two little boys in silence for a moment as they chased each other around the edge of the play area. Sean’s tousled hair reminded her of how Gavin always rumpled it as he passed. Evie felt her chest constrict. She wished this was just a playdate. She wanted more than anything to be spending quality time with Gavin’s family, rather than getting up the courage to open old wounds.
“Your brother called me about a job singing at a club downtown.” Allison’s eyes
were bright with happiness, her face flushed.
“I’m glad. He’s good at that sort of thing.” Jack knew everybody, it seemed.
“What sort of thing?”
“Bringing people together. Arranging groups. He knows who will fit best in what place. Too bad he spends all his time in meetings.”
“He sounds like he’s ready to change careers.”
Evie thought on that for a moment. “He is, but I’m not sure what the whole plan is right now. He’s always been so up-front, and now there’s a little mystery going on.”
Allison shot her a glance, lips quirked up. “You sound irritated.”
“Do I?” She chewed her lip. “Probably. I’m used to knowing everything about him. It’s weird to be shut out.”
“Do you tell him everything?”
“Mostly.” Evie locked eyes with Allison and they both burst out laughing. “Well, women are different. He can’t ever really know everything, right?”
Allison shook her head, still smiling. “And probably wouldn’t want to. Gavin never asks me questions. He’s worried he’ll invade my privacy.” She paused. “As if that’s never happened before.”
Now. Evie sucked in a breath and whispered a silent prayer. “You mean the pictures of you and the senator.”
Allison didn’t look at her. For a moment Evie wondered if she’d even heard.
“I shouldn’t be surprised. A little bit of digging was probably all it took to find out the details.”
The playground was filling up with kids and adults, but the sounds seemed to fade away. Evie gripped the edge of the bench.
“I took those pictures.” It came out in a rush, not even remotely like the way she’d practiced all morning. “I took them and sold them to the tabloids.”
Allison turned slowly, her eyes wide, face slack with shock. She blinked and then pushed off from the bench. She got a few steps away and stopped. Evie could see her take a few deep breaths, arms wrapped around her chest, body tensed.
The two little boys were pushing a snowball through the arch under the slide. Jaden’s face was red with cold, but he was laughing. Sean was serious, pointing out directions with his striped mittens.
Allison walked slowly back to the bench and perched on the edge. “Wow.”
Evie nodded, eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry.” She choked out the words. Night after night she had lain awake and prayed for the young woman. First had been stories of the girl in hiding, then being in rehab and finally, missing. Now Evie knew that Allison was alive. And a mother.
She straightened her back. “Does Gavin know?”
“No. Not yet.” It came out in a whisper. Facing the young woman she had betrayed should be harder, but Evie didn’t know how her heart was going to survive telling Gavin. She hated that her own emotions came before another’s, again.
“When will you tell him?”
“Soon.” She hoped Allison wasn’t going to offer to help explain. There were some things you didn’t want a witness to, like the breaking of your heart.
Allison blew out a breath. “Well, all we need to decide now, is whether this is for me or for you.”
“Excuse me?”
She turned, brown eyes showing the smallest bit of a smile. “Did God arrange this meeting so you could apologize? Or is it my chance to say thank you?”
Evie frowned. How could Allison be grateful for being mocked, hounded and forced into hiding?
“Because—” Allison laid her hand on Evie’s “—I’m so very thankful.” Her eyes glinted with tears. “I thought I was untouchable. I didn’t care he was married. He had money and nice cars and could get into any restaurant. People fell all over him. I didn’t feel an ounce of shame.”
“Until everyone knew.”
“A lot of my friends knew. And I didn’t care what my parents thought. They hated my singing career anyway. It was when Gavin found out.” She closed her eyes for a moment, face stiff with pain. “He was so disappointed.”
Evie squeezed Allison’s hand. She wished she could go back in time, to the years when she didn’t care what anybody thought, and take a different path. How much time had she wasted chasing the big bucks a scandalous picture would bring? And then she’d thought she’d finally got it, the really big one. The one that would pay off her journalism school bills. Maybe even buy her a cheap paper of her own.
She was right; Allison’s pictures fetched a huge price. And cost Evie more than she could have ever imagined.
* * *
Gavin ran a hand over his face and wished he’d had the extra five minutes to change into fresh clothes. He’d spent most of the day stripping quarantine scrubs off and on, comforting parents, juggling messages between the labs and the office. His eyes felt gritty, he needed to shave and there was a jelly doughnut stain on his tie. All in all, not a pretty picture.
But he had assured Grant that the Mission would run smoothly. The poor man was out of his mind with worry over Gabriel. Calista needed him there with her. The whole city was being hit hard, but to see it brought home in the brand-new family was almost more than he could take.
The sidewalk had been freshly shoveled, and Gavin trudged toward the Mission, eyes on his boots. Groups of young men loitered around the entrance, hassling each other in loud voices. The sky seemed to hang low and heavy.
He looked up to see Evie, paused at the Mission door, one hand outstretched to the handle. She flashed him a smile and he felt his lips lift completely independently of his own doing. She’d left a message for him that morning, but he hadn’t been able to catch her. Her dark hair was loose around her shoulders, bulky red ski jacket not able to completely erase her curves. She was a very welcome sight on a very bad day.
“Hey.” He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. He wanted to move the kiss over about two inches to the right and linger there awhile but resisted.
“Hey, yourself.” Her voice seemed tense, subdued.
“You’re early.”
“No, just on time for once. I heard about Gabriel.” Her gaze raked his face, as if seeking answers there.
Gavin opened the door and motioned her inside. The lobby was bustling with people. The closer it came to Christmas, the more people showed up for dinner. It was the long winter months, the last of the seasonal jobs closing and soaring costs of utilities. In warmer climates you could just put on a jacket if your apartment was cold. In Denver, you’d have to scrape the ice off the inside of your kitchen window if you didn’t turn on the heat.
“They’ve started antibiotics. The lab test takes about twenty-four hours. He’s running a temperature and is fussy, but no coughing, which means it could be just a cold but more likely early stages of pertussis. Calista’s going to be in isolation with him, but Grant will come and go, as long as he suits up every time he visits.”
Evie stood there, her arms wrapped around her middle. Her lips were pressed tightly together and she was blinking back tears.
Gavin pulled her to him without thinking, not caring there were people milling around the lobby. He pressed a kiss to the top of her hair. “He’ll be okay. Everyone is praying. Calista brought him in right away.”
“I thought the articles would help stop the epidemic.” Her voice was muffled against his chest. “Nobody reads the paper anymore.”
He leaned back a bit. “But Grant did. He told Calista to come in right away, in the middle of the night. Your paper probably saved this baby’s life.”
He took a breath, wondering how much to say. “There are a lot of reasons for it, but I’ve never been fond of journalists.” Her eyes went wide. He hurried on. “When Patrick died, his mother mentioned to a reporter that she’d brought him to my house to catch the chicken pox. The guy showed up at my door. He tried to get a quote from a nine-year-old on how it felt to have
killed his best friend.”
Her hand was at her mouth, horror etched on her features. “That’s awful.”
He let out a laugh that sounded bitter, even to his own ears. “I agree. So, the fact that you’re using the space in your paper to try to save lives, rather than ruin them, means a lot to me.”
She dropped her gaze and he heard her drag in a shaky breath.
He rubbed her shoulders, hoping to bring a little cheer back to her face. “But today you don’t seem like the fearless editor I know. More advertising trouble?”
She sighed, bright blue eyes troubled. “Another big client bailed in search of a paper that actually gets read, even if it’s only for the celebrity gossip.”
“I’m sorry.”
Evie’s lips tugged up. “You’re supposed to tell me to man up, to carry on, to keep working to the end.”
“Okay, that, too.” He couldn’t help grinning. She felt so good in his arms; he never wanted to let her move another inch away. But the lobby was like the downtown Denver transit station, and Lana was giving them a sly grin from over by the desk.
“We should get to the meeting.” She moved away, leaving one hand tucked into his elbow. “I ordered a pizza to be delivered to the meeting, by the way. I figured you hadn’t had dinner yet.”
He ginned at her. “You’re a genius. Grant’s worried the Mission will fall apart without him. I let him know that as long as Marisol is here, we’ll all be okay.”
“I just saw her in the kitchen. She was in a state but told me God would never ignore a mother’s tears.”
“He better not ignore Marisol, that’s for sure.”
She laughed, a sweet sound that warmed him. “I wish I had someone on my side like her. She’s a big, bad spiritual bodyguard in the form of a little Mexican woman.”
“Grandma Lili is mine. I’ve never tried to wander off the path because I know she’d just pray me back on. It would be a waste of time.” Of course, Allison tried. Grandma Lili had never given up on bringing her granddaughter back into the fold.
