by Huie,Melissa
I shook my head with a smirk. If this was breaking down my walls, if this was what he meant by thinking of me, then he was definitely in for a rude awakening. I had no inclination to deal with this type of foolishness. I wasn’t about to play those sort of games. I told myself that I didn’t care what he did, or who he did it with. With the assistance of the cane, I rose to my feet and waved off any help.
“I’m good. I’m going to take some pills and head to bed,” I said, giving Megan a kiss on her cheek. She glared over at the scene directly across the fire from us. Karla was still doing her overly-dramatic, porn-star-wannabe routine on his lap. And this time, he looked like he was really enjoying it. I waved good-bye to whoever in the group wasn’t getting sex, regularly or oral, and headed back into the house.
I made it as far as the kitchen, when a hand grabbed my elbow.
“Can I help you to bed?” Ryan’s short black hair and hazel eyes made his features striking. And if I didn’t already know of his fascination with his girlfriend back home, I would have thought that he was hitting on me. But he only had eyes for one pretty lil’ thing, and her name was Claire.
“Sure.” He wrapped his arm around my waist, and I allowed him to pick me up. We only went up two stairs when a voice commanded him to stop.
“Get your fucking hands off my woman.”
“Really? Your woman is out there, probably giving another man a lap dance right now. Why don’t you go get your dick wet with the gym slut?” I shot back, irked that his presence made my stomach do flip-flops.
He ignored my comment and pulled me into his arms, like I was a rag doll. Ryan held his hands up in surrender, and allowed Noah to carry me up the stairs. Despite my protests, he placed me on the bed, then paced in front of me.
“How much have you drank tonight?” I asked wearily.
“Not enough, apparently,” he muttered, rubbing his face.
“Just go back down, Noah. I don’t need you here.”
“That’s the problem, Kate. You don’t need anyone.”
“What the fuck? Where did that come from?” I demanded, my face growing hot with anger.
“You don’t ever need anyone, do you? You want everyone to think ice runs through your veins, that nothing affects you, but that’s bullshit. You know how I know? Your clear blue eyes show the storm that’s brewing. But you fight it. You don’t want anyone to know that you have feelings, that you’re human. You have these walls up so fucking high, that you can’t even see over them yourself.”
“You’ve had way too much to drink, so I suggest that you take your drunk ass downstairs before you say something else,” I warned. I didn’t address his comments, or the truth behind them. Admitting something like that to him would only further intensify his blabbering.
“The truth shall set you free, isn’t that the quote? Because Kate, you know damn well that the truth will set you free. You need to stop living the life of someone you’re not. You’re not a coldhearted person. You’re not this ice-princess that you’re making everyone believe you are. You’re not that person, so why can’t you let people in?”
“Because people will use that against me. They’ll use my kindness, my love, and my trust against me. Because that’s all that ever happens to me. The only people I have let in, aside from my family, are the same ones that hurt me the most. And I will never feel like that again.” My outburst surprised him. Hell, it surprised me.
“Who broke you?” he questioned, to which I let out a harsh laugh.
“Who broke me? No one broke me, Noah. I’m whole. I am a whole person. I keep things in, not because I want to isolate myself, but because I want to live my life the way I want to. I work undercover as an FBI agent, Noah. I keep secrets for a living. I chase crooked politicians, human traffickers, and drug dealers across the fucking country. I cannot have weaknesses. My weaknesses are those that I love because more often than not, they will be the ones hurt. They will be the ones used against me. So yes, I keep my walls up and my circle tight. I can’t afford any more weaknesses.”
“So that’s what relationships are to you? A weakness?”
I growled, and threw my hands up. “Seriously. Out of all that, you get that relationships are weaknesses? Yes, they are, Noah. They twist your heart and tear out your soul, until you’re only a shadow of what you once were. I’ve been down that road twice, and I’m sure as hell not going back.”
“What the hell happened to you?” he cried out in frustration.
Seriously? Do I have to spell it out? Oh hell, here we go.
“Take your fucking pick, Noah. It was either the deadbeat dad that kept beating me and my mom until I was six years old, and she finally escaped the hell in Indiana. Or was it the mayor’s son, who took my virginity at fifteen because he ‘loved me,’ then dumped me before the bed was cold, leaving me with a baby. Suffice to say, I have some freaking issues when it comes to relationships with men. I’m allowed to. Between that and my job, I don’t need bullshit like this.”
“You have a kid?” He barely controlled the tremor in his tone. Fuck. I did not mean for that to come out. Only my family knew about the baby. It wasn’t something that I ever brought up in normal conversation. I mean…hell, what do you say? ‘Oh yeah, when I was fifteen, I got knocked up because the most popular kid in school popped my cherry while we were drunk.’ Because that would always go over well.
I sighed. “No. I don’t have a kid. I gave birth to a beautiful seven pound, thirteen-ounce baby boy over ten years ago. His name is Jonathan, and he is the most kick-ass kid I’ve ever met. But I’m not his mother. He has a wonderful, gracious woman who stays at home, does carpool, and makes freaking cookies. And his dad is a lawyer that coaches Little League; not some overly presumptuous, entitled asshole who blasted it around about how easy I was, and basically made my life hell, to the point I dropped out of school.”
Noah’s face was stricken with guilt. “Kate, I didn’t mean – “
I put my hand up to stop whatever placating bullshit he was about to spew. “I’m not interested in what you have to say right now, Noah. Truly I’m not. You wanted to know me, the real me? Well, there it is. I’m not hiding behind my walls. I’m not ashamed of who I am. I just don’t want to put myself out there to get hurt again. I have enough people in my life that can accept who I am, as I am. I don’t need someone telling me how to act around perfectly good strangers. If people don’t like me because I’m blunt and honest, well then, fuck it. I don’t need those people in my life. This is who I am, Noah. And if you can’t handle this, then you can just go,” I blasted, my chest heaving from exertion.
He moved quickly, faster than any drunk man should, and clenched me against his chest. “It’s not that I can’t handle you, Princess. You just have to let me,” he said softly. He crushed his lips to mine, slipping his tongue inside. All resistance fell. My right hand let go of the cane and curled into his dark blond hair as I pulled him closer. My other hand gripped his shirt, running under the band of his cargo shorts, then trailed down his smooth skin, and encased his growing cock. Noah groaned, and arched his hips into me.
“Take these off,” I ordered softly. Without moving his lips, he quickly unbuttoned his shorts, letting them pool around his ankles. My hand gripped the silky skin, stroking with added pressure. Noah’s fingers slid under my own capris, and quickly plunged his fingers inside my already drenched folds. I gasped at the intrusion, my head falling back. Noah took that opportunity to trail his tongue down my neck, to the top of my chest.
“This needs to go,” he growled, yanking my tank top over my head. His hand immediately went to my small breast, and he feasted on it like a starved man. He sucked and kneaded with just enough pain to be exquisite. My grip on his cock tightened, and my strokes quickened as I rode his other hand to find my impending release.
“That’s it, Princess. Ride my hand like you ride my cock.” I ground my pelvis over his hand, as his thumb strummed my clit with perfect precision. The dirty ta
lk propelled me over the edge.
“Oh God, Noah,” I moaned. My body went limp. He removed his hand and sucked my release off his fingers.
“You taste fucking amazing, Princess.” Noah swept me into his arms and laid me on the bed, then carefully removed my cotton pants over my injured ankle. Leaving his shorts on the floor, he grabbed a condom from his pocket and whipped off his own shirt.
“Should I ask who that condom was for?” I teased, half-joking.
His smirk reached his brown eyes. “What? Were you jealous?”
I rolled my eyes, then moved to get up. “Yeah, we’re not doing this.”
Noah blocked me, putting his arms on either side of me. “I wanted to make you jealous. I wanted you to finally get so pissed, you would react and finally realize what you’ve been denying this whole time. But you’re right. Enough of these games.” He rolled the condom over his engorged shaft. “Because we both know the truth.”
His gaze held mine, and in that moment, all my walls crumbled. I pulled him to me, as he pushed in. We both moaned.
“Your body was made for mine. Your pussy is mine,” he breathed out.
“Yours, all yours,” I admitted, as I arched my back to meet his thrusts. Noah grasped my left leg, wrapping it gently around his waist.
“Say it again, Princess. Tell me again.”
“I’m yours, Noah.”
“You’re damn right, Kate. You’re mine. All mine.” His pace quickened, and soon I was at my peak, falling over. Our explosions came together, and I immediately felt peace. Whatever the hell this was, it was something I knew deep in my heart was inevitable. That this relationship was what I needed—what we needed.
We broke apart, panting. He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. “God, you feel good in my arms.”
I nodded, my throat tightening with emotion. This felt good. Almost too good. So good, that I knew it wouldn’t end well. Because nothing so amazing ever ended well for me.
“What are you thinking about?” he whispered, his lips brushing against my skin.
I opened my mouth to speak, but before I got the words out, my cell phone rang. Not my personal one, either.
“Shit. That’s the office.” I untangled myself from him and reached for my phone. “This is Parker.”
“Parker, we’re going to need you here tomorrow.” Sim’s voice came across the line, and I groaned.
“Not that I don’t enjoy seeing your smiling face, because I do, truly. But what’s going on?”
“Forensics are back. We’re having a recap tomorrow at two o’clock, then we’re flying out to Miami at five. Pack your bags, preferably for the heat.”
I looked down at the bandage on my ankle. Well, this is going to suck. “See you at two.” And I disconnected the call. I looked over at Noah, and rolled my eyes at his arched eyebrow.
“You’re going in?”
“Yeah.” I reached for the cane and pulled myself up. I limped to the closet, pulled out my pack and started throwing clothes inside. Noah watched for a second, then got up, only to push me back onto the bed. I sat back and crossed my arms, as I let the caveman have his way.
“Sit. I got this.” He packed my bags quickly, making sure to grab the extra ammo from the nightstand.
“You didn’t have to do that. I could have done it just fine,” I muttered, after he laid back down.
“Yes, I know you could have. But at some point, you’re gonna to have to let other people help you,” he said gently.
I shrugged. “I guess so. I’m going to have to accept help sooner or later. It’s not like I can traipse all over Miami as quickly as I used to.”
Noah’s face turned to stone. “You’re going back?”
I leaned back against the headboard and closed my eyes. And so begins the explanations and dramas. “Continuation of the Cartel case. There are a few leads that we need to track down.”
“Don’t you think you’re going to need to take it easy? You just fell down a mountain, for Christ’s sake.”
Irritation bubbled within, and unfortunately for him, my filter disengaged. “See, this is exactly why I don’t do relationships. This is my job. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been injured and tracking down bad guys. Don’t worry, I know what my body can handle and what it can’t.”
He gave me the “yeah, right” look, but I stood firm. I knew my limitations and my weaknesses. I may not like to admit them, but I knew when too much was too much.
“Whatever you say, Princess.” He ran his hand down the length of my torso. “Now, tell me. Can your body handle me?” The heat in his eyes gleamed, as his fingers played with the barbell in my nipple.
I sighed, and gave him a cocky grin. “Oh, you? I can definitely handle you.” And I proceeded to show him exactly how I could handle him.
***
WE WOKE UP with the next morning, and after giving a barely there explanation, we said our good-byes to the group. The guys loaded up the trailer with the bikes, and we threw our stuff inside the vehicles. We were on our way within minutes. The first half hour was silent. I knew he had a lot on his mind, we both did. There was something about returning to the land of civilization that was always a mood killer. After an hour of silence, he finally spoke up.
“So, tell me how you became this big, badass FBI agent,” he said with a sidelong grin.
I shrugged. “There’s not much to tell, really. I dropped out of school when I was pregnant, and ended up getting my GED as soon as I turned sixteen. I had my bachelor’s degree in criminal justice by the time I turned nineteen, went through the police academy by twenty-one, and then I was accepted by Quantico when I turned twenty-two. I was working on task forces before I had even graduated the academy, because of my age. I was working drug cases as an undercover, making buys at college parties and whatnot.”
Noah shook his head. “I’m not easily impressed, Princess, but you’ve thoroughly impressed me. What was your drive? I mean, hell, what made you decide to bust your ass like that?”
I stared out the window. “I don’t know. I guess the fact that I didn’t have much of a social life was one thing. After the sperm donor made my school life hell, I had no one to confide in. He turned everyone against me, to the point that I was threatened daily by his groupies. So I did the pussy thing and left.”
“What is this douche’s name?” he growled.
“Why, so you can defend my honor?” I teased, giving him a smile.
“Exactly. I want to beat his ass.”
I shook my head and laughed. “Don’t worry about it. He gave me the ambition I needed. I got off my ass and got shit accomplished. Who the hell knows if I would have had the drive to do all that, if everything in high school was all hunky-dory. I am who I am, despite all my issues. I’m okay with that.”
“I’m pretty okay with that too,” he said, bringing our entwined hands up to kiss my knuckles.
“It’s my turn to ask a question.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Okay, shoot.”
“Who is Aubrey?”
Chapter 14
Noah
IT’S NOT LIKE I hadn’t been expecting it. I wish I could have told her before she asked me, but either my cock was deep in her pussy, or I was a pussy myself, and couldn’t bring up the subject.
“Aubrey is my daughter,” I said carefully. I quickly glanced over at Kate, whose face remained blank and emotionless—the look I knew that was calculating and thinking. I knew I had to head her off before she made any wrong assumptions. “She was born last November.”
“And the mother is…” her voice trailed off, but I knew what she wanted. This wasn’t easy for me to explain, because the history was complicated. So fucking complicated.
“I grew up in North Beach, close to Sketch’s parents’ place. In fact, we went to the same school together. Him, me—”
“And his sister, Jennie,” she surmised. Kate turned to me, with the question in her eyes.
“Jennie is Aubrey�
��s mom.” I confirmed her suspicions, and immediately her eyes widened.
“You’re Bree’s dad?”
I grinned, thinking of my one proudest accomplishment. “Yep. That little angel is my pride and joy.”
“I don’t know all the details, but what the hell happened to Jennie? I heard she got mixed up in some bad shit.”
My face went hard at the mention of my daughter’s mother. “Jennie and I were together for a while, on and off since we were in high school. I joined the Marines and we lost touch. I would come back for home leave, and we’d hook up. When I’d leave again, it was over. My unit was based out of Florida, so it’s not like we’d get a chance to see each other, especially with me traveling so much. But as I came home, I noticed she was hanging out with the wrong crew. They were bad news, like known drug dealers and gang bangers. It was pretty ironic because my unit was a Narco unit, working in conjunction with the Organized Crimes Division and the DEA, and yet the girl I was hooking up with had a drug problem.”
“Did you know she was on drugs at the time?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yes and no. She came to me at one point, and needed my help to get clean. I got her into an expensive, residential rehab facility in Miami, but I had to head out on a mission. Once I got back, she was nowhere to be found.”
“Wait, you were with Triton’s Edge?” she questioned.
I gave her my biggest smile. “Yep, darlin’. That would be me. I was Alpha One Captain for Triton’s Edge.”
“Holy shit. I worked with you guys before, while running the Cruz Cartel case. How did we not meet before this? Why didn’t you tell me?” Her blue eyes were wide with surprise, and I choked on my next words.
“For the same reasons you didn’t tell me you were FBI. We had to separate the two lives. And trust me, Princess, it killed me to do so. That shootout in Miami? My team was en route when we got the call that Megan went down. Our bird was in the sky, and then we were rerouted to track Tommy. They had him for a while, but then he went into a covered canal. That’s where we lost him.” My words had struck her silent as she processed the information.
