Since my brother and I have been back, Gen and I have cordially avoided each other the last couple days. Neither of us has mentioned the argument we had before I left, and I haven’t asked her why she was in Jaeger’s arms at the casino. Gen hasn’t been the most forthcoming when it comes to Jaeger; I think it’s best to talk to him first.
Nearly a week since I fled the casino after seeing Gen in Jaeger’s arms—I muster up the nerve to visit him.
I make two wrong turns and find the correct driveway on the third try. The particulars of Jaeger’s house’s location from that one visit are vague, but I was too chicken to ask Mason for directions. Didn’t want Mason to give Jaeger a heads-up and a reason to refuse me after I’ve avoided him for a week.
I’m in luck. His truck is in the driveway.
My heart speeds up and my hands shake. I’m usually good with confrontation, but facing Jaeger has me scared. I may have misinterpreted what I saw going on between him and Gen at the casino, but there’s also a chance I’ll get my heart broken. It’s that potential outcome that has my nerves in a bundle.
I ease Tyler’s old Land Cruiser beside Jaeger’s truck and step out, gulping in the pine and earth scent, grounding myself. It’s late afternoon and the sun is low in the sky, casting shadows around the front yard. A beam of light shoots past the swing where Jaeger kissed me.
My heart thumps hard as I jog up the front steps to his house and knock on the door. I pull my hair back and twist it behind my neck and out of my face. After a long pause, I knock again. I gingerly lean over the porch and peer in the window. The living room is dim and lifeless.
His car is here, but where is he?
Irrationally, I glance and confirm Jaeger’s truck sits in the drive. The buzz of insects and birds had blurred other sounds when I first exited the Land Cruiser, my ears ringing from the noise of Tyler’s beater, but now I notice a soft hum coming from the woodshop. He’s working?
I make my way around the side of the house and across the pavers. The sound of a machine stirring the air grows louder.
I’m not surprised when no one answers my knock, with the machine running inside. He can’t hear with that racket going on, so I twist the knob and carefully push open the door.
Jaeger’s back is to me. He’s in blue jeans and a plain T-shirt that fits loosely around his waist, hugging the muscles in his back and arms. He’s working with something that looks like a giant sewing machine with a saw instead of a needle. Attention focused, his gloved hands carefully maneuver the wood in front of him.
The urge to run to him and wrap my arms around his back overwhelms me. I want to smell and touch him and be close. But I don’t know where we stand or what I witnessed at the casino. It’s enough to watch. Plus, I don’t want him to cut off a finger. Lunging at him while he’s operating a saw probably isn’t the best idea.
Jaeger shuts off the machine, squats to adjust something under the table, and brushes wood shavings from his head. They fall like snow, and I wonder if that’s the point of keeping his hair short.
The air in the shop smells of burnt wood and a faint hint of Jaeger’s aftershave. I breathe in deeply and he stills. He pushes clear protective glasses to the top of his head and turns.
“Hey,” I say.
Expression blank, he doesn’t move for a moment, seemingly stunned to see me here. Slowly, he pulls off his gloves and tucks them into his back pocket, his eyes darkening.
I move a few steps toward him. “I’ve been out of town. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I—I needed—”
He looks down my body, and reverence, appreciation, crosses his face, cutting off whatever lame excuse I was about to give. His gaze stops on my mouth, a look of hunger sending heated signals to my womb and breasts.
My eyes widen. How does he do that? Against all rational thought, I want to spring at him and kiss him all over.
Jaeger rubs his forehead and leans against the table.
“I had to figure some things out,” I finish, crossing my arms defensively.
He follows the motion, his gaze in line with my breasts, taking their leisurely time back to my face. Naughty, naughty boy—putting dirty thoughts in my mind. Okay—truth—they were already there.
Stay on track! “I wasn’t sure I could trust you.”
He gives his head a quick shake. “What?”
God, his deep rumbly voice. Focus! “I saw you with Gen,” I say in a rush. “At the casino. You were holding her.”
Jaeger’s brows furrow and he peers down, unfocused, as if thinking. “When?”
“A week ago. I went to visit her and you were there. Your arms were wrapped around each other.”
“Cali, I have no idea—wait, do you mean after that piece of shit touched her?”
Huh? Someone touched Gen? Like, groped her?
I have no idea what Jaeger’s talking about, and that’s just sad. It’s a testament to how far apart Gen and I have grown these last few weeks. “What are you talking about?”
“Some co-worker at the casino groped her—I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her for specifics. It happened while I was visiting Mason. She was shaken up. I talked to her and gave her a hug.”
“That’s all?”
Jaeger lets out a long breath. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me? You still think there’s something going on between me and Gen?”
I blink several times. Why does it sound reactionary and ridiculous when he says it? My logic seemed perfectly sound a moment ago. “It’s not as bad as it seems. Things happened. Gen and I are having trust issues.”
“But you can trust me.” Anger and frustration fills his voice.
He’s right. I had no reason not to trust him. “I’m sorry. It’s just, well, it upset me—seeing you with someone else. And with my friend?”
Jaeger stalks across the room and I take a step back. I don’t think he’ll hurt me, but instinct dictates I move out of the path of a large, determined male. He stops abruptly and grabs my hips, pulling me toward him. My hands fly to his arms for balance, and okay, because he’s hot and his biceps call to me. If the timing weren’t so inappropriate, I’d nuzzle his chest too.
“The only woman I think about is you.” He pushes me back and cradles my head before it slams into the wall. “I’ve been pretty direct about my intentions toward you.” Jaeger skims his hands down and around the backs of my thighs, lifting and wrapping my legs around his waist.
I grasp his shoulders and he presses me to the wall, anchoring us. “I’m beginning to understand,” I say in as calm a voice as I can manage. In reality, my heart is rampaging inside my chest like a wild animal, my entire body quivering like some virgin about to be deflowered.
Jaeger runs his nose down my neck, tickling my skin. “You sure? Need me to be more clear?” His hands slide up my thighs to my ass and squeeze.
I let out a breathy exhale, eyes unfocused. “It couldn’t hurt,” I say, voice thready.
Jaeger kisses my neck, his tongue dipping to the hollow at my throat. The scruff of his stubble brushes my skin as he drags his mouth to my lips.
I moan and kiss him with everything I’ve held back—everything I haven’t said that’s simmered inside from the moment we met. His arms tighten around me, chest rising and falling more quickly. He rocks his length right where I want it. A ripple of pleasure shoots through me.
Using his shoulders for leverage, I mimic the move, but it’s not enough. I can’t reach all of him while pressed to the wall and I want more. “Go—” I say, between kisses. “—somewhere else.” I wiggle to make my point, hormones robbing me of speech.
He gets the gist. One arm snakes behind my back, the other under my rear, carrying me.
Arms wrapped around his neck, I kiss and lick and distract him as best I can. He’s walking blind while kissing me, but I’m feeling a tad impatient. Clenching the back of his shirt, I tug upward, but the dang thing gets caught on his arms.
He needs his arms to hold me—an obvious problem if m
ore than a tenth of my brain were operating. “Off,” I mumble.
Where is he taking me? I hope it’s close and not the house. That’s like a football field away. One of these nice wooden surfaces would—
Suddenly I’m free-falling, gripping his shirt and not much else. I land on soft cushions.
My hands pat the surface beneath me. The old leather couch. Excellent.
Jaeger follows me down.
Now we are getting somewhere.
I moan my approval about the new locale and whip his shirt over his head, running my hands down his wide shoulders and thickly muscled chest to the ridges of his abs. My finger traces the waistband of his loose-fitting jeans, slipping between it and his stomach. His hand freezes above the breast he’s exploring and he lets out a slow breath.
I turn my palm flat—fingers pointed south—and slip beneath his boxer briefs. The back of my hand grazes his long, hard length, and my stomach flutters.
He presses his forehead to mine. “Cali,” he says in warning.
I spread my fingers apart along his lower stomach and slide through the hair of his groin, tugging at the skin and tightening places I know are aching, because I’m aching there too.
His arms tense and shake beside my head. He’s holding his breath. “This is it,” he breathes carefully. “We’re together. Okay? No more trust issues.”
I nod and leisurely lick his bottom lip with the tip of my tongue.
My shirt sweeps over my head in nearly the same second my pants are yanked down and off my feet. I’m naked in two-point-two seconds, Jaeger’s chest between my thighs as he takes my nipple into his mouth. I moan and lock my legs around his back, rubbing against the muscles of his stomach. If I weren’t hormone-drunk, some of this might seem a little fast, a little brazen—even for me—but this is Jaeger and I really don’t care.
Want him.
He reaches around and palms my ass before slipping a finger inside me. In and out that thick, masculine finger goes, every third dip, curling and slipping over the most sensitive spot.
Want. Now.
I yank beneath his arms to pull him up, but it’s like trying to heave a semi truck. He swirls his tongue around my nipple one last time, eases his finger out with a couple of last swishes over the spot that has me panting, and glides his hands up my body, shooting naughty messages to every pore.
Damn it! His pants are still on. I flip open the snap and push them down with my feet.
My knees drop to the side and his fat tip rubs at my entrance. I squeeze his ass. He’s huge and silky and I want him inside.
Jaeger breaks from a deep kiss. “Pill?” he whispers in my ear.
“On it. Have you been—?”
“Tested a year ago. The last time I was with someone.”
Screech. Whoa, what?
He nudges in a couple of inches, and I lose that train of thought. A gentle thrust and he’s stretching me. He lifts his head and looks in my eyes. He rocks slowly, going deeper with every movement. My legs weaken, shaking with pleasure. Our breaths mingle, and I’m clinging to him, my arms like thin brackets around his large body.
I’m panting by the time the first spasm hits. Jaeger’s gaze turns hazy and unfocused, as if he feels my orgasm building and it pleasures him too. Another spasm shoots from my core, and then I’m bucking in uncontrolled bliss.
Somewhere in the euphoria fog that keeps rolling, I sense Jaeger’s pace pick up. His head dips to the side, kissing my neck. He groans near my ear, the sound so sexy and deep that another quick spasm rocks me. His hips surge several more times and then slow, his breathing fast, his body jolting every couple of seconds with aftershocks.
Jaeger’s hand slides under my shoulders and cradles my head, tucking it beneath his chin as his breathing calms. He wraps an arm around my back and pulls me close, maneuvering to his side with me plastered to his front.
I lie still, listening to his heart pounding beneath my ear, utter and complete peace sweeping over me.
This wasn’t sex, it was … I don’t know. Or maybe I do and I don’t want to ponder it.
My eyelids close, sleep pulling me under.
Chapter Twenty-One
I wake to a view of the lake through a window at the foot of the bed. Faded light filters over the mountain ridges. Soft sheets whisper over my palms. What the …?
I’m in Jaeger’s bedroom? The last thing I remember is the couch in his workshop.
Heat floods my face. That couch will go down in history. At least, it will go down in my history. Wow—just, wow. Not that my past experience is extensive, but I’d like to think I was thorough with the few partners I’ve had. None of them gave me an orgasm through straight sex. But I should consider this very important finding later.
How the hell did I end up here?
I glance around the bedroom. It’s cozy, with a Mission-style dresser and plain but expensive sheets. I don’t remember getting dressed and walking over. Technically, I’m not dressed … Did the man knock me out with his lovemaking?
Jesus. I sit up and pull the light blue sheet to my chest. Why am I calling our sex lovemaking? Eric and I never called it that. I tuck the sheet beneath my legs and around my back as if to protect myself.
Jaeger walks out of the bathroom, a dark blue towel wrapped around his waist, water beaded on his shoulders. My jaw drops, my breathing speeds up. Steam from the shower and the scent of his aftershave waft toward me. He’s like a walking aphrodisiac.
His gaze takes in my clamp on the sheets. “Good morning. Everything okay?”
“Yes, but—” My gaze darts around the room. “—how did we end up here? I’m pretty sure I was sober when I visited you this afternoon, so …”
“Yesterday afternoon.”
Shit, it’s morning? I shake my head. “I couldn’t have passed out.”
He smiles. “You were tired. I carried you here.”
Memories of the most amazing orgasm flutter through my mind. He did that to me. Sapped me of all energy and a little piece of my soul.
“I didn’t wake up?”
He shakes his head, his gaze skimming over me again. Only this time, heat emanates from those eyes. “Are you still tired?” The question is addressed cautiously, as if he’s trying to be sensitive to my needs—but the man behind the question appears ready to pounce, evidenced by the massive erection building beneath his towel.
This is dangerous, this attraction. I should be careful.
I shake my head, and he walks over, sliding off the only barrier to his skin on the side of the bed. Muscles and long limbs, heat, and alluring clean male scents smack my senses silly. He pulls the sheet from my body and eases down beside me.
Goose bumps pepper my flesh. My hands go clammy, eager to touch and be touched. I want to kiss his mouth, the lids of his eyes, his temples—the place over his heart.
I’m in so much trouble.
“Where the hell have you been?” my brother asks after I finally pry myself from Jaeger’s bed. It was not easy. The man persuades. I honestly think he could have kept at it all day. Whatever happened to recovery periods?
Gen looks over from the kitchen. She’s actually awake, eyes alert, which is proof of how late in the afternoon it is.
“I stayed the night at a friend’s house.”
Gen’s eyes widen briefly. My brother’s frown deepens.
“Cali, if you’re going to hook-up, answer your damn phone,” he says.
“Oh my God. You’re staying with me. I don’t need to check in with you. And how do you know I stayed with a guy? I could have been with a friend.”
“None of your friends are in town—”
“I’ve made new friends.”
“—and you’re flushed. Post coitus flushed.”
Fuck! My lips pinch together. I storm into the bedroom and close the door, taking a deep breath.
Leave it to my biologist brother to notice and technically define afterglow.
A knock sounds a moment later. “Cali?
Can I come in?” Gen says.
I pull my hair into a bun, open the window and fan myself, scraping together the remains of my dignity. “Come in,” I say.
She shuts the door behind her and sits on the bed. She looks down at her hands twisted in her lap. “I know we haven’t talked much. I’ve been working and you’re going through a hard time. I feel like I haven’t been there for you.”
Gen has known every guy I’ve kissed since we met. She’s never learned about something secondhand, and though it seems right to keep what’s between me and Jaeger private, the strain in our friendship is obvious.
I sit across from her. “That’s how I feel. Like I haven’t been there for you.”
She smiles bleakly. “You have. You’re the strong one. I’ve pulled away, because I—well, I want to be strong. It’s in me …”
“Of course you’re strong.”
She shakes her head. “No, you say what’s on your mind and speak up for yourself. I want to speak up. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”
Gen is reserved and less outspoken than me—most people are—but I didn’t know she’s afraid. “What’s going on?”
She cradles her elbows and leans into herself. “You know how I don’t talk to my mom?”
I nod. The topic of her mother doesn’t come up unless I pry it out of her, and even then, I get nothing substantial.
“I won’t blame my mom for the way I am and the choices I’ve made, but some of the hangups I have are because of our relationship. It’s … unusual. But that’s not the point. The point is, I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” She tucks a dark lock behind her ear. “There was an incident a couple of weeks ago at Blue. One of the managers forced his hand under my shorts and touched me. He would have done more if someone hadn’t interrupted. I’m afraid to say anything to the casino. I’m worried that what happened to you—with you getting fired and all—will happen to me. There are rumors—”
I wave my hands frantically. “Wait, wait, what? Jaeger mentioned something about a jerk touching you. He didn’t say it was one of the executives or what he did.” My mind spins, bits and pieces coming together. “Who was it, Gen?”
Deep Blue Page 15
