by Nate Ball
Meltdown
“This is Amp’s fault,” Zack gasped, his hands on his knees, trying his best to catch his breath.
“How do you figure?” Olivia said, leaning her back on a tree.
They were standing in a small clearing carpeted with pine needles. The soaring trees around them dimmed what little light was able to get through the dark rain clouds above. They had run along the creek for as long as they could and now they stood huffing and puffing after putting a good mile or two between them and the bears.
“Oh, please. Amp totally started that fire,” Zack said.
“We don’t know that for sure,” she answered.
“C’mon, Olivia, this mess has his tiny fingerprints all over it.”
Olivia kicked a pinecone with her muddy sneaker. “Okay, maybe it was, but he was only trying to be helpful.”
“Our tents are probably melted hunks of plastic right now. Thanks a lot, Amp.”
“You’re always so hard on him,” Olivia sighed. “He means well.” Olivia snapped her fingers. “Hey, you guys talk with your minds all the time. So just tell him to get his tushy over here.”
“He won’t know what the word tushy even means,” Zack groaned, pressing his forehead onto the rough bark of a tree.
“C’mon, squirt out one of your mental phone calls. We’re in a jam here. We need some Erdian backup.”
Zack rolled his eyes. “You know you can talk to him that way, too, but you just don’t like to.”
“It makes my skin crawl. You’re good at it. You two do it all the time.”
“He’s probably out of range. I’ve got to be within fifty yards or so. There are no long-distance calls. His brain is probably the size of a peanut. His peanut brain has a very limited range.”
Olivia stared at her friend for a moment. “You’ve got some serious anger issues, you know.”
“What is the point of camping anyway?” Zack roared, holding up his arms. “Weren’t we perfectly happy with carpet under our feet, our comfortable beds, and cable television? Now I’ve got a blister on my heel that’s killing me, our campsite has been burned to the ground, my mom’s probably been washed out to the ocean, and a pack of bears has taken the family car. Whoop-de-do! I can’t wait for next year’s camping trip!”
Olivia looked away for a moment. “A group of bears is called a sleuth.”
“What?”
“You said ‘a pack of bears.’ Technically, or scientifically, it’s called a sleuth of bears.”
“Are you trying to make me cry?”
“Hey, Zack, look up.”
Zack followed Olivia’s eyes and looked straight up at the soaring trees around them. He noticed that they were all twisted, like corkscrews. Unlike most trees, which grew up straight toward the sun, these trees were bent at odd angles, their bark wrapping around the trunks as if the trees themselves were confused about which way was up.
“Twisted Grove State Park,” Zack whispered, the trees giving him an uneasy feeling.
“Kinda creepy,” Olivia said quietly.
They continued to stare up at the strange trees in silence. Besides a few chirping birds and the hiss of the rushing water in the nearby creek, it would have been perfectly quiet, which made the twisted trees all the more troubling for some reason.
“Too bad Amp’s not here,” Olivia said.
“Yeah,” Zack agreed quietly. “He’d love this.”
Olivia sipped water from a plastic bottle she pulled from her coat. “Maybe we’ll meet the ghost of Nasty Ned out here.”
Zack made a disapproving noise. “C’mon, let’s circle around through the woods and work our way back to the campsite. Maybe my parents and Taylor are back there by now.”
“Lead the way, Nasty Ned,” Olivia said with a salute, then followed Zack as he marched across the small clearing and into the dark woods.
It would be well over an hour before Zack would realize that he had been leading the way in the wrong direction.
Lost in the Woods
“I think I know how those trees back there became crooked,” Olivia said as she followed Zack through the dim woods.
“Let me guess,” Zack said, “you think it was anger from Nasty Ned’s ghost that made those trees go all twisty.”
“No, that’s ridiculous,” Olivia said. “But I have a hypothesis.”
“What’s a hypothesis?”
“Seriously?”
Zack looked back over his shoulder and saw the sour face Olivia was making. “Yeah. What’s a hypothesis? Sorry, is that something everyone knows?”
“You know what a hypothesis is,” Olivia said, stepping over a log. “It’s like an idea for how you think something works.”
Zack shook his head. “Nope. Strike two. I don’t know what a hypothesis is.”
“Are you even listening? Remember when we did our experiments for the science fair?”
“Oh, please don’t remind me. I’ve been trying to forget that for weeks.”
Zack stopped and looked up at the small patch of dark clouds he could see between the trees.
He thought they would have been back to their campsite by now.
He looked back in the direction they had come, took a deep breath, then began to climb a steep hill in front of them. The hill was covered with fallen trees and tall plants covered with purple flowers. He had the feeling they had already climbed this hill about forty minutes earlier.
Olivia picked some of the flowers and made a tiny bouquet as she followed Zack. “So anyway,” she said, “remember how you first have to come up with a hypothesis, which is sort of like a guess about how something works? Then you do an experiment to prove or disprove your hypothesis. It’s called the scientific method.”
“Yeah, that kinda rings a bell,” Zack said with a shrug.
“Oh my gosh, how could you forget that? You live with a science geek from another planet!”
“Maybe that’s why I don’t like to think about this stuff. I might be allergic to science. It makes me itchy.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Sorry, I was born this way. Don’t judge.”
“Anyway, my hypothesis goes like this. Those trees once grew straight up to the sky, like every other tree. But a long time ago, there was an earthquake, a landslide, or the soil that they were growing on just shifted downhill, toward the river.”
“You mean the creek.”
“Whatever. Anyway, the trees moved from their original position. Their orientation in relation to the sun and the sky changed. The trees don’t know any better, so they start growing back toward the sky.”
“Trees can’t move that fast.”
“These changes would be very slow. They would take decades.”
“That’s ten years, right? A decade?”
“Oh my gosh. Yes! Those trees are probably over two hundred years old, so the ground back there has probably shifted several times, which is why they didn’t grow straight up. That’s my hypothesis on how they got twisted like that.”
“Interesting hypothesis,” Zack said, grunting as he finally reached the top of the hill. “But my hypothesis is that it was the anger that comes from Nasty Ned’s ghost. Though either way, I don’t have two hundred years to wait around for experimental results.”
They stood in silence at the top of the hill they had just climbed, breathing heavily. They looked around in silence. They both spun slowly in circles.
“I’d swear we’ve been here before,” Olivia said.
“I thought we’d be back at our campsite by now,” Zack said.
“I have a new hypothesis,” Olivia said, plucking petals from the bouquet.
“Me, too. We’re totally lost.”
“Yup, that was my hypothesis. We’ve been going in circles, haven’t we?”
“I don’t think we even need to prove it with an experiment.”
Just then a strange animal noise from an uncomfortably nearby distance filled the air. It wasn’t exactly a howl, but
it wasn’t a grunt or a growl or a bark either.
Olivia took a quick step closer to Zack. “What was that?”
It was the same sound they had heard coming from the woods when they had arrived at their campsite. Zack and Olivia turned in the direction the noise had come from.
“It’s Nasty Ned,” Zack whispered.
“It’s that werewolf,” Olivia said quietly. “It’s been nice knowing you, McGee.”
They were silent for a full minute and didn’t hear another noise.
“We’re lost in the woods and surrounded by hungry werewolves,” Zack finally whispered. “And my dad can’t figure out why I don’t like camping.”
Olivia dropped the tiny bouquet of flowers and grabbed Zack firmly by the shoulders. “I know you said you can’t make long-distance calls with Amp using your brain, but you need to try. Try really hard. We need Amp’s help and we need it now.”
“The fact that we’re relying on my brain worries me more than that hungry monster sound we just heard,” Zack said.
“Shut up and make the call,” Olivia said, “before you become a Zackburger.”
Loud Silence
“What’s wrong?”
Zack opened his eyes. “What?”
“Do you have to go to the bathroom or something?”
“No! Why?”
Olivia shrugged. “I don’t know. It looked like you were having some kind of an episode.”
“An episode?”
“Yeah. Your face was all scrunched up, and you’re kinda . . . squatting a little bit.”
Zack bugged out his eyes. “Have you ever tried to shout silently? Using only your mind? It’s not easy.”
“Listen, if you need to go the bathroom, I can—”
“All this mental yelling is melting my brain.” He shook his head. “I’m not hearing anything from Amp.”
Olivia looked around at the surrounding woods. “What if we’re lost overnight?”
“I have two flashlights,” Zack said.
“Oh, thank goodness.”
“But not with me. One is in the tent, which is probably burned to a crisp by now. And the other one was in the car, which was taken for a joyride by a gang of hungry bears.”
“A sleuth of hungry bears.”
“Whatever.”
“Well, thanks for telling me about the flashlights you don’t have. Really helpful,” Olivia said, punching Zack too hard in the arm.
Zack rubbed his arm and looked back down the hill they had climbed earlier. “Maybe we should just—” Zack stopped and held up both hands. “Wait. I just heard something.”
“You did?” Olivia said, her eyes darting around. “Bears?”
“No, in my head. I just heard—”
Olivia clapped excitedly. “Is it Amp? I don’t hear anything. What did he say? Did he sound—”
Zack shushed Olivia again. Zack thought, “AMP! IS THAT YOU? WHERE ARE YOU, YOU ERDIAN PIPSQUEAK?”
“Zack?” a faint voice said in his head.
“I can hear him,” Zack said to Olivia.
“Make some noise,” Amp echoed in Zack’s head. “I’ll find you.”
“He wants us to make noise!” Zack shouted in Olivia’s face. He started howling, clapping, whistling, and jumping around in circles. Olivia joined him. The two made a racket that seemed to hush the forest around them.
“I see you!” Amp said in both their heads.
“I heard him! He sees us!” Olivia roared. “We’re saved!”
The two stopped making noise and spun in circles, looking for the arrival of their rescue party.
But what emerged from the bushes behind them didn’t look like a rescue party.
It was one of the strangest sights Zack had ever seen, and he had seen his share of weird things for a fourth grader.
Zack’s dog Smokey suddenly appeared from behind a tree, tail wagging. Zack crouched to greet him and that’s when he saw Amp sitting on Smokey’s neck, holding firmly to the dog’s flea collar.
Zack stared at his tiny alien roommate. “You’re riding my dog?”
“An alien riding dogback,” Olivia said. “And I thought I’d seen everything.”
“I can steer this animal quite easily with my mind,” Amp said with delight. “This animal is actually quite reasonable, especially when compared to that beastly cat of yours.”
Olivia laughed. “Gosh, Amp, you hacked into the brain of Zack’s dog. Kind of rude, no?”
Zack shook his head. “I don’t even care at this point,” Zack said, standing and brushing off his pants. “C’mon, Amp, we need to get back to our campsite and find Mom, Dad, and Taylor. Lead the way.”
Amp looked up at Zack, then at Olivia, then back to Zack. “Me? You don’t know which way to go?”
“No!” Olivia roared. “Now take us back to camp! I’m starving.”
“Wait, you’re lost?” Amp said, confused. “So am I! I’ve been riding this animal in circles through the forest since everyone ran off this morning. I thought you two could take me back to—”
“Oh, great,” Zack moaned, his chin dropping to his chest. “Our rescue party is more lost than we are.”
Olivia sighed and squeezed her face between her hands. “Now what are we supposed to do?”
“Hey, it’s your planet,” Amp said with a tiny shrug. “I have no idea. I thought you two were rescuing me!”
“I really hate camping,” Zack said.
Directionless
“That fire you built freaked us out,” Zack said.
“Oh dear,” Amp said. “I wasn’t sure how big to make it.”
“There’s a difference between a campfire and a forest fire,” Olivia said.
“I said I was sorry!” Amp cried, throwing up his hands in surrender. “I headed out on your dog this morning after I made the fire to see if I could communicate with the bears.”
“Bears? You could have gotten Smokey eaten!” Zack cried, scratching Smokey behind the ears. He plucked up Amp and held him in the palm of his hand. Smokey seemed to shake off Amp’s mind control then and started sniffing around.
Zack and Olivia told Amp all about their shock at the big fire, the washed-out bridge, Zack’s mom’s plunge into the creek, the bears entering the car through the open car doors, and their poorly planned escape.
Zack slapped at a mosquito that had landed on his cheek. “See, this is why I didn’t want you to come, Amp,” Zack said. “You’re way out of your element.”
“Oh, this is pretty tame compared to other planets I’ve been on,” Amp said casually, looking around at the forest. “I was on a planet once where the trees spit big gobs of sap on you as you walked by them.”
“That is so gross,” Olivia said, placing a hand on her stomach.
“And that sap was toxic; it had acid in it! Melted right through my helmet.”
Zack often forgot that Amp had been to places he couldn’t even imagine, which made it all the harder to believe he could make such a mess of things on a simple camping trip.
“That’s fascinating, Amp,” Zack sighed. “But let’s focus on the fact that we need to get back, and we’re totally lost.”
“When it gets dark, we’ll be totally blind out here,” Olivia said.
“Yes,” Amp said, looking from Zack’s face to Olivia’s. “If only I had my spaceship.”
“If only I had a helicopter!” Zack said. “Or a trail of bread crumbs that led me back to our campsite.”
“If only I had a turkey sandwich,” Olivia said dreamily.
Zack’s stomach growled.
Amp stroked his chin and made his thinking face. “If only we had a map.”
They all nodded in silence.
“Wait a second!” Olivia shouted. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a folded-up piece of paper. She unfolded it and held it up for Amp and Zack to see. “This has a map on it!”
“It’s the paper Ranger Davis gave us!” Zack cried. “Why’d it take you so long to remember it?”<
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“I forgot I had it,” Olivia said simply, “until Amp said that about a map.”
Zack put Amp down so he could examine the map closely. “This is a very simple, crude map. All the park rules and this drawing of a bear eating from a cookie jar take up most of the space. Not sure it will help us.”
The three of them studied that small map. Zack saw the number 13 that Ranger Davis had written on it. He found the matching campsite 13 on the little map. “We were way down here, at this campsite, number thirteen. We started back up the road this way, but this little line must be the creek, and the bridge was gone.”
“So we ran this way, away from the bears,” Olivia said, tracing her finger along the line of the creek. “And ended up somewhere in this area, where it says Crooked Tree Grove.”
“Oh, you saw the trees!” Amp exclaimed, shaking his head in disappointment. “I wanted to see those.”
“You would have really liked it,” Olivia said, giving him a pained grin.
Zack continued. “Then we walked in this direction, which I thought would bring us the back way to campsite number thirteen, but I must have misjudged it. Or just didn’t go in a straight line. We could be anywhere.” He looked at Olivia. “Sorry, Olivia.”
Olivia shrugged. “Hey, I didn’t notice either, so . . .”
“Well, this is good news,” Amp said.
“It is?” Zack and Olivia said at the same time.
“Jinx,” Olivia said. She quickly punched Zack on the arm, in the exact same spot she had punched him earlier.
The impact caused Zack to jerk back and Amp nearly fell off Zack’s upturned palm. He now clung to Zack’s pinky finger, his body swinging underneath. “Could you two be a bit more careful?”
It was one of Olivia’s unwritten rules of life: if two people said the same thing at the same time, one of you got to punch the other one for free, and the punched party was not allowed to retaliate.
“Sorry,” Olivia said, and she grabbed Amp and put him back on Zack’s palm.
Zack rotated his arm stiffly and shook his head at Olivia. “Why is all that good news, Amp?” Zack said. “We have a map, yes, but we don’t know where we are on that map.”