When I reached the chair, I... no. I changed my mind. I went back to Lucent and I hugged him tight. He closed the door after I came in, so no one could see us, anyways. Asher could see us, I supposed, but that didn't count. We were alone now, together, and I wanted to hug him.
Lucent didn't hug me back at first, though. I squeezed him tight, pretending he was, pretending he wasn't looking down at me with a business-like scowl even though I knew he was. I liked feeling him close to me, feeling my cheek press against him, listening to his heart beat softly. It was hard to hear through his suit coat and shirt, and maybe I was just making it all up, but I knew I could hear it.
And now for the kiss. I practically crawled up his body, pressing close to his chest while I stood on tiptoes to get closer to his cheek, and I kissed him there. Lucent's scowl melted and he smiled at me, looking a little lost and confused, but happy. I understood that, though. Landseer Tower was to Lucent what the library was to me. He felt safe and comfortable here. He felt safe and comfortable hiding behind an austere, corporate exterior.
He bent his head down and whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry," he said, his words rough and stumbling. "I don't feel entirely comfortable with you in the presence of others, but please understand that I'd like nothing more than to squeeze you tight and kiss you all over your beautiful body, Miss Tanner. I do love you, I just find it difficult to show it in the confines of the workplace at times."
My eyes widened. This was new. It was different. I didn't know why he said that all of a sudden, but it made me happier. It comforted me to know that maybe I could comfort Lucent. He always seemed like mine, the person I went to for comfort, but I could be his, too. I was his.
I squeezed him in a hug one last time and this time he returned my embrace. Sneaking out of his grip and slinking away, I went back to visit with Asher. Asher sat there, grinning, watching me watching Lucent. I went to sit, but then I realized there weren't enough chairs, so I grabbed one from near Asher's desk, brought it over, and offered it to Lucent when he approached. Then I sat. We were all sitting. It took a bit of work, but, oh well.
I smiled and nodded to Asher. Yes, he was a billionaire, and the CEO of the company, but he also liked books and I felt like that made him my friend. I mean, he was sort of my friend, too, right? Jessika was my friend, and Asher was her husband, and we knew each other, so...
"Hi," I said.
Asher smiled. "Hi, Elise. How are you?"
"Good. How are you?"
"Very good. Did you get the invitation from Jessika for tonight's party?"
Well, I did, and I would have spoken to her directly, but since I couldn't, I supposed Asher was a suitable alternative?
"Yes," I said. "I think that's so sweet of you to do. I really do. It's nice, but—"
Lucent cut me off. "You're going."
I tried to finish my sentence, but it didn't work so well. "...I have to..." I couldn't go, I didn't belong. Yes, I... I felt better now, sort of. I was with Lucent, and Asher. I knew them both. But I still didn't belong here, or there, or anywhere like that. The corporate party was taking place at Landseer mansion and that might as well have been a foreign country for all I knew or cared. I meant that in a nice way, and I knew that Asher and Jessika were nice people, but it didn't change who I was. I didn't like groups or crowds, and I didn't know anyone, and... "Lucent," I said, stumbling for words, annoyed that he was making me do this. "I have to do something. It's important."
"You don't have anything to do," he said. "You don't want to go because you think you'll be out of place. I assure you, you won't."
He had me there. That's exactly what I was thinking. "Who am I even going to talk to? I won't know anyone there."
"You won't know anyone there?" He gazed at me, curious. "Are you positive?"
I mumbled and muttered. "I can't just go up and talk to you and Asher and Jessika. You'll all be busy."
Lucent sighed. "Mr. and Mrs. Landseer," he said, correcting me again.
Asher interrupted. "Neither of us minds if you call us by our first names."
"See?" I said to Lucent, ignoring his attempt at a scowl. "Anyways, you'll all be busy and I'll end up standing against a wall. I don't know if you know this, but that's how it always was in school, too. I'd just stand against a wall and sip fruit punch out of a cup and sway back and forth."
I'd been like that years ago. I didn't make friends very easily. I thought I was a nice person, and I tried to get to know people better, but it just didn't work most of the time. I didn't know why.
"Someone may ask you to dance," Lucent said. "In fact, if someone doesn't ask you to dance, they're foolish." He seemed so sure of this statement, and yet I wasn't sure of it at all. "I cannot even comprehend why the most beautiful woman in attendance would be relegated to swaying back and forth while sipping idly at a cup of fruit punch while leaning against a wall." Turning towards Asher, he added, much to my amusement, "Pardon, Mr. Landseer, I may be biased and Mrs. Landseer is certainly a close second in terms of attractiveness."
"No offense taken," Asher said, laughing.
I wasn't as convinced as Lucent. In fact, I was fairly positive he was wrong. I was plain. I was rather ordinary, actually. Brown hair, maybe a little mousy, and while I wasn't in the worst of shape, I could have worked out more and eaten better. Jessika had beautiful blonde hair, pretty blue eyes, and she had a personal trainer who helped her three times a week to keep in shape. She'd offered to let me join her as part of my benefits package for Landseer Enterprises, and we could spend part of our work day exercising in the company fitness room on one of the lower levels, but I declined. I didn't know why I declined, but I felt awkward about it. I was clumsy sometimes and I had some irrational worry that someone would see me trip on a treadmill or something; which would both hurt and be embarrassing.
"Are you going to ask me to dance, Lucent?" I asked, pushing away the idea of an awkward exercise mishap. "I don't want to dance with a random person. I'm awful at mingling. What do you even do? Just go up to people and talk about the weather? I don't understand how to do it."
Lucent took a deep breath in. "You peer outside, ascertain as to whether it is hot, cold, raining, snowing, or all other manner of meteorological assessment, then you approach someone of interest and discuss in minor detail what you've just discovered," he said, putting his deep breath to good use. "It's quite simple, Miss Tanner."
I rolled my eyes at him, giggling. "Did you really just say all of that to me? Meteorological assessment?" I asked.
Lucent glared at me, his lips pushing upwards at the sides, playful and trying to hide a silly smirk. I glared right back at him, making no attempt at hiding my own teasing smile. Asher laughed at the both of us.
"You're both insane," Asher said. "Lucent, just dance with her. It's supposed to be a celebration."
"A business celebration," Lucent added. "Certain formalities must be maintained. Miss Tanner is an employee of Mrs. Landseer and Landseer Enterprises. It would appear uncouth if she and I were to partake in more intimate relations during a business event."
I frowned, but I tried to hide it. I knew Lucent felt this way, and I understood his reasoning, but it still hurt. I didn't like to hear him say it, nor did I want to. What about what happened in his office earlier? Yes, we were in private, but I wanted him to do things like that in public, too. Or, maybe not exactly that, but I wanted him to hold me. I wanted him to want to dance with me, and to kiss me, business celebration or not. He did it outside of work, and we walked down the streets holding hands and things like that. We'd play and tease each other, and he'd kiss me lightly on the nose and lips and cheeks and forehead if we were out and about. Lucent really was very gentle and loving, just... not exactly any of those things when it came to business.
"I'm not your employee," I said, grumping. I didn't want to sound accusing and childish, but I wanted him to know at least a little about how I felt. "You wouldn't even hire me, remember?" I reminded him. "I think Jessika
would dance with me, too." Some epiphany struck me and I looked towards Asher. "Asher, would you dance with me?"
Lucent clenched his jaw, but said nothing. I doubted he found my rebellion very entertaining at the moment.
"Yes," Asher said. "It would be my pleasure."
Grumbling, from Lucent. No, he didn't find this entertaining at all.
Switching form, I grinned and scooted my chair towards Lucent, whispering loudly to him. "Does this mean you'll spank me before the party?" I asked. "I'll go, then. If you use your velvet-covered—"
I just meant it as a joke, some fun and capricious statement of whimsy, but Lucent (perhaps predictably) got mad. I really shouldn't do these things, I thought. I was just... I didn't know what I was right now.
"Elise!" Lucent said, loud and clear. "We're in the presence of Mr. Landseer, CEO of Landseer Enterprises, currently residing in his office within Landseer Tower. This is hardly the time or place for—"
I scooted closer to Lucent again, as close as I could get. Placing my hands on his arm, I held him lightly and put my head on his shoulder. Smiling up at him, I said, "I love you, though."
Lucent smiled down at me, conflict in his eyes. We were both not very good with each other sometimes. I didn't think either of us ever fully understood the other, to be honest. It was stupid to argue, though. For every one thing Lucent did that I didn't like, he did about a hundred things that I absolutely loved. I hoped that he felt the same way about me. I hoped that...
"You infuriate me sometimes," Lucent said, but his voice was soft and kind. "I love you, too."
I looked into Lucent's eyes, losing myself in them. He was a universe, mysterious and deep, and I wanted to explore and discover everything about him. I wanted to show him every part of me, too. I wanted us to learn about all this together, and to enjoy each other. I wanted him to dance with me at business parties and cuddle against me in the middle of the halls at Landseer Tower. I wanted him to unabashedly kiss me on the lips, and maybe even cradle my butt in his hands, pulling me against him; not just in private, but everywhere else, too.
I wanted a lot. I wanted comfort and safety, and I felt it with Lucent. I felt it so much; it was impossible not to. I felt insecure sometimes, too, though. Self-conscious, unsure if I was good enough, not knowing if I was doing well, uncertain if I was even doing the right thing. Whenever I was with Lucent, whenever we were close and together, I never thought of those things, but when I was alone they all came crashing back to the fore of my mind, and it was hard to deal with sometimes.
I stared into Lucent's eyes for what felt like forever.
"Elise," Asher said, "have you ever considered narrating audiobooks?"
My attention jumped to the thought of audiobooks, and I considered it quickly. Had I? No, but maybe it would be neat? Hm...
"No," Lucent said quickly.
I scrunched up my brow and pouted at him. "What? Why not?"
He whispered into my ear, quiet so that no one but me could hear him. "Miss Tanner, your books are somewhat too arousing in subject matter for me to feel comfortable with that."
"Oh," I said. Oh, um... "I'd be narrating my own stories?"
"I believe that's what Mr. Landseer had in mind. Yes."
I looked to Asher and he confirmed with a laugh and a nod. "It was just a joke."
I turned back to Lucent. "Can I, though?" I asked. "Can I narrate them for you? Not to sell or to publish. I don't think I'd want to do that."
Lucent blinked, clearly not expecting this turn of events. "Do you want to?"
I bit my lip, shy and smiling, and nodded.
"Hm..." Lucent said. "Perhaps." Swift, uncharacteristic, he dipped his head down and pulled my bottom lip away from me, nipping at it with his teeth. He pulled it into his mouth, teased at the edge with his tongue, and then let it free.
My mouth dropped open and I gaped at him. "Lucent!"
"My lip," he said. "Don't tempt me into doing it again."
I bit my lower lip again, intentionally this time, but I also jumped from my chair at the same time, fleeing Lucent's playful, obsessive glare. I laughed, smiling.
"I've got to go," I said. "I think I'm going to go home soon. Will you be here for much longer?"
"Unfortunately," Lucent said. "Mr. Landseer and I have some important matters to discuss. I apologize, Miss Tanner."
"Sorry, Elise," Asher added. "I'll try not to keep Lucent for too long, though. I know it's going to be a little stuffy, but Jessika and I really would like it if you could come tonight, too. If you don't want to, I understand. Maybe you could at least come for the ceremony, then leave when the company party starts?"
Lucent remained passive, nodding slightly to me, accepting.
"I'll go," I said. "I just feel uncomfortable, that's all. I know it's dumb, and I try not to, but it's just how I feel. Will you dance with me, though, Lucent? I know it's going to be a business thing and I know why you wouldn't want to. I really do and I understand, but I'd just really love it if—"
"I will," Lucent said. "Miss Tanner, I deeply apologize for what I said before. I forget sometimes that... that our relationship is different from those I'm accustomed to. I've..." He looked towards Asher with a furtive glance, then back to me. "I've never been involved with anyone in such a meaningful and important way as the way I feel you and I are involved with one another. Our relationship is extremely special to me, but I'm still trying to adjust to the nuances of it. Please forgive me for falling into old habits."
"I forgive you," I said, bouncing on my toes, giddy. "I do understand. I need to make compromises sometimes, too."
Lucent rose, fast and unexpected. He swooped towards me like a practiced dancer and then swept me into his arms. And then he kissed me. This was not exactly a chaste kiss, either. Not kinky or too excessive, but it was full of passion and love and longing. I blinked—once, twice—then I kissed him back. The tip of his tongue teased at my lips, but went no further. I joined it with the end of mine, playing a careful, tantalizing game. Our lips pressed softly together and he squeezed me tight against him, holding me. I put my arms around him and held tight to his back and his shoulders.
"I'll try to be better in the future," he said when we finally broke away from our kiss.
"I think Mr. Landseer saw us," I said.
We both turned to look. Asher pretended to be looking in an entirely different direction, eyes wandering everywhere but towards us.
"It's fine," Lucent said, grinning. "I'll see you soon?"
I kissed him again, quick. "Just call me when you leave, alright?"
"Alright."
...
I decided to go home. After a quick side trip to collect my belongings from Lucent's office, I took the elevator to the underground parking area. My car was where I left it. I started it up, drove to the entrance, stopped to show my parking permit to the man in the booth near the exit to the street, and...
I was going to go home, but I changed my mind. Instead of going right, I went left. I drove two blocks, turned into a small parking lot on the right side, and parked my car in an empty space. Grabbing my laptop bag, I hopped out of my car and made my way to the entrance of the library.
As soon as I walked inside, the girl behind the front desk greeted me.
"Hello! Welcome to the—" She paused, sizing me up. "Oh, hey, Elise!"
I smiled and waved. "Hey, Margaret. How are you?"
"Good. Bored. I was hoping I could convince the next person who came in that they needed my help finding a book. I'm stuck back here. Everyone else is on lunch or busy. If someone asks for a book, though... I can't turn them down, right?"
"You're asking me to ask you for help finding a book, aren't you?" I laughed.
"Well, you know where everything is, so I guess you're not the best one to ask, but I'm desperate here. Help?"
I shook my head. Nope! No way. I didn't work here anymore, but I wasn't about to go against Rob's wishes, either. "Is Rob around or will he be back soo
n? I wanted to ask him something."
"Sure," Margaret said, forgetting her previous disappointment at not being able to get out of front desk duty. "He should be back soon, I guess. Five or ten minutes? He's one of the lunchers. I mean, he could eat lunch up here, don't you think? I don't want to be presumptuous or anything, but..."
"He just wants to be professional," I said. "How would it look if you were a patron and walked in to see somebody eating a sandwich? Kind of weird."
"Is it?" Margaret asked, tilting her head to the side. "You think so? Huh! I wouldn't care."
"Alright, well, how about if you walked into a restaurant and the host was eating a dinner roll at the front podium?"
"Um..." She shrugged. "I guess! As long as it's not my dinner roll, I wouldn't mind. The rolls are free anyways, aren't they?"
I laughed and stuck my tongue out at her. "Maybe you're right. How about I keep you company until Rob comes back?"
"Hey! Sure! So what have you been up to, anyways? When are we going out again? You want to tonight? Or we could stay in. Movie night! I bet Vanessa's in. It's weird now that we're out of college, huh? I'm still looking for a better job, but it's cool here, too. I mean, we can't all find great jobs right out of school, and the library's kind of fun."
"Yeah," I said. "I can try and help if you need? I don't know what I could do, but um...?"
"Are there any good jobs at that Landseer place?" she asked.
Margaret was a history major, which probably had absolutely nothing to do with tourism. Who knew, though, right?
"I can ask?"
"That'd be so cool! Right? If we worked in the same place. Do you have an office? Does everyone get an office, or no? You want to share your office with me, maybe? I'm quiet. You know me, Elise. We're friends, right? We could be office roomies or something."
"Margaret, you didn't even apply for a job yet!" I laughed. "I don't think there's such a thing as office roomies, either."
His Absolute Assignment - Elise's Love Story: The Billionaire's Continuum (#1) (A Contemporary Romance Novel) Page 5
