She frowned. Her friends were having great sex with hot guys too. And not only were they having great sex, they were involved with really good guys. Seriously involved. Jenna was getting married. Mia was practically living with Jake, and she worked with him at the family construction company as their office manager. They both ended up with men who they met on a complete whim. Men who fell for them instantly.
Just like Evan and her.
“If you need to tell yourself that to feel better then great, but we know the truth.” Jenna smiled and shook her head. “You’re just scared. And there’s no reason to be scared. He sounds like he’s the one for you.”
“I hardly know him.”
“Sometimes you just know.”
“I’ve never believed that.”
“I think you need to become a believer,” Mia suggested.
She didn’t want to. She knew she was behaving like a spoiled brat but she couldn’t look any deeper into this. Men left her, it was a known fact. She wasn’t good at relationships. They never lasted no matter how hard she worked.
Enjoy it. Enjoy the sex. Enjoy the way he holds you and kisses you and looks at you like there is no other woman in the room even in a crowded restaurant. Savor it because it’ll be gone in a blink of an eye…
She wasn’t in a good mood. Evan knew it, could tell from the moment he walked into her apartment about an hour ago. For dinner he’d brought the sandwiches she loved so much from the deli close to the hospital, but she picked at her sandwich and barely made conversation. He’d brought her a cookie, too, the chocolate chip ones they made from scratch, but she didn’t even peek in the bag.
Damn it, she loved those cookies. He remembered the first one he gave her, how he’d licked a crumb from the corner of her lips after she finished eating it and it had turned into a two-hour sex fest.
Evan frowned and balled up the wrapper of his long gone sandwich, tossing it in the trashcan not far from where he sat. Looked like there would be no sex fest tonight. She could hardly look him in the eye.
“Something bothering you?” He followed her in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as she rewrapped her untouched sandwich and stuck it in the fridge.
“I’m not hungry.” She shrugged. “Thanks for bringing it by, though.”
He was tired after working a long ass shift. And it had been a hard one too. He’d hoped to collapse on the couch with her by his side and watch mindless TV. Maybe snooze for a little bit before she woke him up and told him in that sweet, sexy voice of hers that it was time for bed. And then he’d drag her back to bed, strip her naked and have his wicked way with her.
But the way she avoided him, how she barely spoke to him, well it spoke volumes all right. He’d done something wrong, but hell if he could figure it out.
A game player he wasn’t. He went to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her close. She snaked her arms around his waist but held them there loosely, her face pressed to his shirtfront. “What’s the matter?” He kissed her forehead softly. “Is something bothering you?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice was muffled against his chest. “I’m not sure about this.”
Wariness filled him. “Not sure about what.”
“About us.”
He waited for her to say something else, to explain herself but she remained quiet. When he couldn’t stand it any longer, he withdrew her from his arms so he could look at her. Sadness filled her eyes along with a heavy dose of confusion. “What do you mean, you’re not sure about us?”
She shrugged, her gaze cutting away from his. “It’s moving too fast and it scares me, Evan. I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”
“Ready for what?”
“This. Us. How serious it is. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks and it’s just so…so scary. Yet I don’t like to think about what life would be like without you. I’ve always been such an independent person, and I almost feel like I need you too much.”
“Right, so it’s scary to think about life without me yet you don’t want to be with me anymore? You’re not making any sense.” He felt like he was going to be sick. Was this her twisted way of trying to dump him?
“None of this makes any sense.” She started to walk away from him, but he stopped her, grabbing her upper arm so she couldn’t escape.
“What do you want?” He was almost afraid to hear her answer.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t know what I want.”
He pulled her closer, gripped her by her shoulders and gave her a little shake. Her eyes flew open, she stared up at him and he wanted to both shake her some more and kiss her. God, she made him weak.
So damn weak.
“I’ll tell you what I want.” Bending down, he brushed his mouth against hers. Her lips clung, parted beneath his and he swiped them with his tongue. A tremor moved through him at her taste, at the possibility that this could be the last time he kissed her. He needed to convince her that they belonged together. They needed to work whatever problem she was having out.
“I want you,” he whispered against her lips before kissing her again. Her tongue met his tentatively and just like that, lit a fire deep within him. His cock twitched, his entire body came alive and he pulled her close, as close as he could get her.
But she struggled within his embrace, trying to break free and he wasn’t one to force a woman to do anything. He let her go, watched in horror as she pulled away from him as if she needed the distance.
That hurt. More than he cared to admit.
“You can’t make this better by trying to kiss all thought out of my head. I need—I need time, Evan. I need to think about things.” She turned her back to him.
“So you don’t want to see me anymore.” His chest ached, and he rubbed at it absently. Defeat deflated him like a balloon. He couldn’t take this, her rejection. It sliced through him like a machete, leaving him open and raw.
“I never said that.” Her voice was quiet with the slightest tremble to it. “I just need some space. I want to think over things. And I can’t do that with you here all the time.”
“Fine. I get it.” He sounded like a big baby but she was completely shutting him out.
Evan left the kitchen and went to the couch, grabbing the jacket that he left draped across the back of it. He shrugged it on, didn’t say a word even when she walked into the living room to watch him.
He went to the door and opened it, pausing for just a moment to see if she’d run to him. Try to stop him from leaving.
She didn’t.
Fuck.
“See you later,” he tossed over his shoulder as he walked through the door, slamming it so hard the windows rattled. He pounded down the steps, his strides long and quick as he headed toward his truck. He refused to look back, knew it would be nothing but a disappointment.
She wasn’t going to chase after him, wasn’t going to stop him from leaving. She was letting him go so she could think about things. What the hell did that even mean? It wasn’t like they spent all of their time together. She worked fulltime. He had crazy hours. When they were together it felt like a stolen moment, moments he’d always cherished.
Looked like he’d been the only one cherishing those moments. God, he was such a stupid ass.
Evan climbed into his truck and started it, pumping the gas so the engine roared in the quiet of the early evening. The sound gave him no satisfaction. Nothing did. He put the truck into reverse and unable to help himself, glanced up at the window he knew was Morgan’s bedroom.
And saw her peeking through the cracked blinds, watching him.
Pissed, he backed out of the spot and sent his tires squealing as he fled the parking lot. He’d go home, crack open a couple of beers, drown his sorrows in liquor and then crash out. He had to work early tomorrow so he’d do what he always did.
Focus on his job. It was the only thing he could count on. The only thing that gave him any source of true satisfaction. He needed to f
ace the truth. What he’d shared with Morgan had been nothing but an illusion.
A pretty one, but an illusion nevertheless.
And that realization really fucking sucked.
Chapter Seven
“You’re a dumbass.”
Morgan rolled her eyes. “Thanks for the faith. I appreciate it.”
“It’s true. You told him you wanted space? That you needed time because you couldn’t figure it out? I hope you don’t lose him.” Jenna shook her head.
Morgan wanted to smack her friend. She also wanted to smack herself for telling her what she’d said to Evan. Three nights ago it had happened and it still hurt. Bad.
Really bad.
Maybe it was the truth hurting her and not what she’d done. Jenna had a point. Maybe she was a complete dumbass.
“It’s probably too late. He hasn’t called me. I left him a voicemail last night.” A complete moment of utter weakness. “But he hasn’t called me back.”
They were in the lunchroom, splitting a sandwich from the Subway close by. Morgan wasn’t hungry. She could hardly eat a thing and had probably lost five pounds these last couple of days after what happened. She’d always wanted to lose those last five pounds and had no idea the breakup diet was the way to go.
Not that she’d broken up with Evan but what with the way things were unfolding…
“Maybe you should go see him.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I’m so confused.” All she knew was that once he wasn’t around she wanted him close by at all times. She missed him. Missed hearing his laugh, his easy smile, the commanding way he’d pull her into his strong arms and kiss her. She flat out missed him.
And being without him was growing more painful as each day passed.
“Well, you certainly don’t look happy without him. Weren’t you happy when you were with him?” Jenna asked, knocking her from her thoughts.
“I was almost too happy when we were together. And something like that—it can’t last. Can it?”
“Listen.” Jenna leaned in close, her expression as serious as Morgan had ever seen it. “I did this with Brett. I freaked out on him and acted like a twit.”
Morgan nodded. “I remember. You lost it right here in the lunchroom.”
“Yeah, thanks for reminding me of that pleasant memory. But we’re talking about you. And the mistake you’re making, thinking this is so good you have to get rid of it because it can’t be real.” Jenna rested a hand on Morgan’s arm and gave it a firm shake. “What you have with Evan, it’s real. And you can have it this good. I know you’ve gone out with some losers. I know you’ve had some bad relationships in the past, we all have. But when it’s this great, this right, you can’t let it pass you by.”
As Jenna’s words sank in, Morgan blinked back the tears that threatened. Could it be real? Could Evan really be the man for her? “This happened to me before, you know. Years ago, right before I graduated college. I met a guy, we fell madly in love and moved in together within a couple of months.”
“And it ended badly?”
Morgan nodded. “Terrible. One day he came home from work and said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. Asked me to move out since he got the apartment in his name only. I was such an idiot. I thought he was the one.”
“How old were you?”
“I was twenty-two, he was twenty-five.” Morgan paused, the memories hitting her, one after another. “He married someone else within nine months of dumping me. I think they’re still together.”
“It wasn’t meant to be between you two.” Jenna made it sound so easy.
“Yeah, but I thought it was. What if I’m fooling myself? What if he comes home one day and tells me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore?”
“Kind of like what you did to him? Were you trying to beat him to the punch?”
Morgan was stunned silent. Maybe she did try and beat him to the punch. What was wrong with her? Was she some sort of relationship saboteur?
“I don’t know.” She sounded like she wanted to cry. She felt like she was going to cry too.
“You were younger. We’re all stupid when we’re young and think we’re in love. Be glad you didn’t end up with that guy. He wasn’t for you.” Jenna squeezed her arm. “I think Evan is the one for you. But you have to be open to it. You have to let it happen and see where it takes you. Sometimes, with love, you need to take a risk.”
A risk. Love and relationships were most definitely risky and she had always erred on the side of caution. And maybe that’s where she’d made the mistake. She’d thrown out all her inhibitions the night she first went out with Evan. And she’d definitely thrown them out the night they’d had sex the first time. A shiver went down her spine every time she thought of how he’d taken her from behind. So deliciously primal, so wickedly amazing it had been. She’d forgotten about feeling fat or embarrassed or afraid of what he might think of her. She’d just…felt.
And never been freer.
“You should call him again. Tell him you want to talk to him. Spill your heart out to him and beg him to call you back.”
“I refuse to beg.” Morgan crossed her arms in front of her chest. Well, she might beg if she got desperate enough.
“You know what I mean.” Jenna rolled her eyes and laughed, then immediately grew sober again. “Call him, Morgan. Don’t be afraid to reveal your feelings. I have a feeling he’ll be pretty receptive.”
“Okay.” Morgan pushed away from the table and stood. “I’ll go call him. See you back in the office?”
Jenna nodded and smiled. “Good luck, sweetie. You can do it.”
“Thanks, Jenna. I mean it. I needed the pep talk.” More like the talk of getting some guts.
“Anytime.”
Morgan went outside to the parking lot and sat in her too warm car, staring at her cell phone for endless minutes, gathering courage. It was now or never. She needed to reach deep and find the guts to go after what she wanted.
And right now more than anything in the world, she wanted Evan.
Screw it. She dialed his number and yep, it went straight to voicemail. Not that she was surprised. He was on duty most likely and rarely answered his phone. He had a job to do. One that he was very, very good at.
“Hi, Evan, it’s me, Morgan. Um…this is really hard for me to say over the phone but I made a mistake. I miss you. A lot. And I don’t want to lose you again. Could you call me, please? I want to talk to you. See you. Touch you.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Please call me. I don’t want to go another minute not knowing how you feel. Wondering if you’ll ever forgive me for the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. And that’s turning you away. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I swear if I was a little less practical then maybe I would even think that I’m falling in lo—”
The voicemail cut her off and she glared at her phone, not sure if she should be angry or pleased that it ended her speech at such a pivotal moment. She’d been about to confess she was halfway in love with him.
Talk about finding courage. Or she’d straight lost her mind.
Most likely the latter.
Evan hopped out of the truck, his mouth tight, his entire body taut. He mentally prepared for the absolute worst, he always did when faced with a situation like the one looming ahead. It was bad. But this was his job and he’d grit his teeth and get through it. Just like he always did.
His thoughts wandered to Morgan, as they were prone to do. What was she doing, how was she? He hadn’t called her though she’d left him a single, almost breezy sounding voicemail. Hearing her voice had both crushed him and pissed him off. How could she act like it was no big deal, what she’d done to him, to them? But he couldn’t remain angry.
He cared for her too damn much.
The sun was bright and hot on his back as he jogged toward the scene. Three cars were involved in an accident on the freeway, one fatality. The cars were twisted hunks of metal, smoke rising from one of them and he saw the
fire engine headed toward them in the distance. Three lanes were blocked off of the six-lane freeway, but the cars still passed by at an amazing speed. They should start demanding hazard pay.
He and Wes weren’t first on scene, but they were there to assist and take one of the injured victims to the hospital. They found her lying on the side of the road, pulled to safety by witnesses who’d stopped to help. She had a broken leg and possible broken pelvis and was in a lot of pain and they knelt beside her, immediately beginning to prep her.
“Sir, sir!” Someone grabbed Evan by the shoulder and gave him a firm shake.
He turned to find a woman standing before him, a shaken look on her face. “Can I help you?”
“There’s someone else who’s injured. My daughter! Please come help her. No one has helped her.” The woman pointed toward the snarled wreckage, her hand shaking visibly.
Evan glanced in his partner’s direction. “Go help her, man.” Wes nodded his head toward the now crying woman. “I’ve got this handled. And I’ll put a call in for another unit.”
“Thanks, Wes. Gimme a few and I’ll be back.” Evan stood and followed the woman, unease slithering down his spine as she took him to the other side of the wreckage. She was frantic, waving her hands all over the place, her voice reaching a higher pitch with every sentence she spoke. He could hardly understand her.
And he hoped like hell her daughter wasn’t as bad off as she made her sound.
“There she is. She’s unconscious, she wouldn’t respond to anything I said. I didn’t want to leave her but I didn’t know how to get her help.”
He didn’t know why anyone hadn’t noticed her. Kneeling, he looked her over. She was young, no more than twenty and her face was covered in blood from the various gashes she’d received. He put a call into the emergency service center, requesting more backup then glanced up at the mother. “How long has she been unconscious?”
“Since the accident happened. She hit her head on the windshield. I dragged her out of my car.” She waved a hand in the crumpled car’s direction. “I couldn’t just leave her in there though it was probably a mistake. And I’ve been with her ever since. I didn’t want to leave her alone. But I’m afraid that was the wrong choice.” The poor woman broke into tears again.
Simple Twist of Fate: Fated, Book 3 Page 6
