I tensed up when there was a knock on the door, but it was just Janelle, delivering some scene notes from the director.
“Thanks,” I said, smiling in relief that it was just the harmless assistant in her jeans and sweatshirt.
“You did really good today,” she said, her blue eyes wide and sincere. “It was really great. I was almost in tears, watching.”
That kind of compliment was always going to feel good. I smiled again, more sincerely this time. “Thanks. It’s a really challenging role, but I’m glad I decided to do it.”
“Me too. It will be great for the world to see how much range you really have.”
“Yeah.” I was used to everyone assuming I could only sing, dance, and look sexy, so it was nice to have someone recognize that I might actually have a little real talent hiding away somewhere. “Hopefully, it will turn out well.”
“It reminded me of that episode in Paris—from the second season. Remember? When your friend almost died?”
I blinked, thinking back through the years to the cable show I’d been on and the special, serious episode that was supposed to be a tearjerker. “Good memory,” I said. “It did kind of feel like that.” Only not so fake and over the top.
“Matt couldn’t keep his eyes off you.”
It took me a minute to remember that Matt was another assistant of Pete’s. He was a rather geeky young man who never said much.
Maybe it wasn’t unusual for a guy to be attracted to me, but for some reason the idea of Matt standing around mooning about me was a little creepy.
Maybe he was the stalker. I’d mention it to Cole.
“Any progress with finding…” Janelle trailed off, evidently hesitating about bringing the subject up with me.
Maybe it was a little presumptuous, but I didn’t care. “Not yet. But I’ve got a good team on the job.”
“Yeah. I guess so. You know, it might be nothing, but Malcolm has been acting kind of strange this week. Skulking around and stuff.”
I felt a little sliver of fear—not really fear for my safety but fear that someone I trusted as much as Malcolm could have been acting against me all this time. It was a horrifying thought.
I’d always liked Malcolm. I really didn’t want it to be him.
I didn’t want it to be anyone I knew and trusted. It was much easier to think it was someone like Matt.
But it had to be someone with connections to people I knew, or they never could have gotten access to all the places they had. But maybe Matt could access all the places himself. It was possible.
“I’m sure it was nothing,” I said with another smile when I realized Janelle was waiting for an answer. “Malcolm was supposed to be checking things out here, so I’m sure that’s what he was doing. Thanks for these.” I gestured with the script notes she’d handed me earlier.
“Sure thing.” She waved and smiled, walking out of the room, and I was left thinking about all the people I trusted, about which of them I might have been wrong about.
***
Cole and I drove back to the Maxwell house after we left the set. It was a long drive, but it was worth it to me to feel safe, which I wouldn’t have felt at a hotel or at the apartment.
He was quiet. Much quieter than usual. I tried to make some casual conversation, but it was like trying to talk to a stone.
Finally I shook my head and stared at him. “Since when is talking off the table.”
“What?” He looked at me for real for the first time, obviously surprised by my words. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I know sex is off the table for now, but since when is talking off the table too? Or do you think that talking to me is so irresistible that you’ll immediately be seduced out of your pants?”
I was rewarded for this sally by a moment of conflicted emotion on his face—half annoyance and half amusement. Amusement evidently won because he relaxed slightly. “I think my pants are safe for now.”
“That’s what you think. I’m good at seducing men out of their pants.”
“I bet you are. But that’s not going to happen again.”
The words weren’t flirtatious. In fact, they were slightly grumpy. But they felt familiar. Like they were really him—which I hadn’t been feeling from him all day.
Because he felt more like himself, I took the risk of asking, “So what were you brooding about just now?”
He gave a little twitch of surprise. “What are you talking about?”
“I know when a guy is brooding, and you were definitely at it just now. I was wondering why. What were you thinking about?”
He just gave a half shrug, obviously not inclined to open up.
I wasn’t discouraged. In fact, I kind of liked the challenge. “Surely you weren’t brooding about how hung up on me you are, beating yourself up for giving in to your raging desire only to suffer now as you try to hold yourself back.”
He blinked. Then made a choked sound.
I really couldn’t tell if he was laughing or if I’d somehow managed to hit home. I really liked the idea of him wanting me that much, but there wasn’t much sign of it at the moment.
“But seriously,” I continued, “what were you thinking about?”
He sighed and leaned back in his seat slightly, staring out his window. “Gavin.”
I knew who Gavin was—his friend who had died in action. “Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Did something happen to bring him up?”
“Just that they’ve finally finished the report on the accident, and we’re supposed to go hear the findings if we want.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good, right? It will help to have some sort of closure, won’t it?”
“I guess.”
I was worried by the tension on his face, and I lifted a hand to stroke his cheek. “Why wouldn’t it help?”
He leaned for just a moment into my hand before he pulled away. “It depends on what they say.”
“You think they’re going to say something you don’t want to hear?”
“I know they will.”
“Maybe it won’t be so bad. It wasn’t your fault, after all.”
“Wasn’t it?”
My heart was racing, and I wanted to shake the shuddering of guilt out of him since I somehow knew it was irrational. “You said it was an accident. Those things happen. They’re terrible, but they happen. You can’t beat yourself up about it.”
But he could. I could see he was already beating himself up, and if he heard anything that implied he could have done something different, something to keep the accident from happening, then he would continue to beat himself up for the rest of his life.
Maybe it was better to not know than to know for sure you could have done better.
I had no idea what to say, but I wanted to make him feel better, so I scooted over in the back seat and wrapped my arms around him in a soft hug. “I don’t think it was your fault, Cole.”
He didn’t pull out of my embrace. In fact, he wrapped one arm around me to pull me closer. “What do you know?” he muttered. The words sounded rather rude, but I could feel that he was taking comfort from me, so I wasn’t offended.
“I know just as much as you. Go to the meeting and hear what they say. Running away from it isn’t going to do any good.”
He made a grunt of a sound and tightened his arm.
I didn’t know if he was feeling better or if he was annoyed by my prying or what. But I felt confident, like I’d done the right thing.
And I sure wasn’t going to complain about being this close to him.
After a minute, I couldn’t resist anymore, so I stroked my hand up his hard chest, over his shirt. His body was firm and warm and rough, and it felt delicious against my hand. When I reached his jaw, I stroked the skin there, feeling the slight stubble against my palm.
He was gazing down at me like he could swallow me whole, and it made my entire body come alive.
I stretched up as h
e leaned down, and then we were kissing hungrily, needily, our tongues dueling with passionate urgency.
I was really getting into it—my body as well as my heart—when he pulled away abruptly. “We can’t do this,” he said gruffly. He was sweating slightly and looked visibly strained.
Also visibly aroused.
Panting and overly warm, I tried not to whimper in disappointment. When I caught my breath, I told myself not to argue or make a fuss. He was trying to be professional, which was admirable to a certain extent. Sex was a distraction, and he didn’t want to risk it.
That was okay. The moment this thing was over, he was going to be mine.
***
I woke up in the middle of the night, breathless and terrified.
It was a strange house—not my own—and it took a minute for me to orient myself.
I knew my fear wasn’t rational, but I couldn’t talk myself out of it, so I got up to go to the bathroom, hoping the distraction would help me relax.
It didn’t. So I left the bedroom and went to look for Cole.
He was right outside, sitting on a couch, and he jumped up when he saw me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I assured him, feeling stupid now that I was with him and had caught my breath. “I just woke up and felt kind of… anxious. I’m fine.”
I was just wearing a little nightgown, and I saw his eyes slip down a few times to run over my body. I knew he liked what he saw, and it made me a little excited too.
“Do you want me to check your room out?” he asked, clearing his throat.
I shook my head. “No. I didn’t think there was anyone there. I just woke up nervous. Thanks though.”
He made some sort of sound, but his gaze never left me. I wanted him to say something—anything—but I was getting rather distracted now since his eyes had grown very hot.
“Cole?” I whispered.
“Yeah,” he said as he stood up. He was clearly rather distracted too.
I stepped forward, suddenly wanting to feel his body, his strength, his passion. I ran a hand down his chest over his T-shirt.
I heard him grunt, and his whole body grew tense. “We weren’t going to do this.”
“That was your plan, not mine.” I drifted toward him, my nerves from before somehow heightening my response to him now. I raised both arms to wrap around his neck. “If it makes you feel better, we can create some distance between us so this doesn’t happen again.”
“Right.” His hands cupped my bottom, pressing me against him so I could feel his arousal. “Distance.”
“We should start distancing ourselves right now.”
That was the last thing said before he kissed me.
The kiss was deep and urgent immediately, and it awakened a hunger inside me. Soon I was clawing at him shamelessly, my tongue dueling with his. He lifted me with his hands cupping my ass, and I wrapped my legs around him. He carried me back into the bedroom, and I pulled him down on top of me as soon as he lowered me to the mattress.
We undressed each other hurriedly, the desire too intense to go slow. It was like we were starved for each other, and my mind was a thick, heated blur of need as I ran my hands up and down his smooth back and firm ass.
Then he was rolling on a condom and was settling between my legs.
“Remember,” I said breathlessly, bending my legs around his hips. “Don’t get too close.”
“Right.” He slowly pushed himself inside me, my body fitting itself around his length. “Not too close.”
He kissed me again, and I held him with my arms and legs, and we built up a fast, pleasing rhythm together, our bodies knowing exactly what they needed from each other. Eventually I broke the kiss, turning my head to the side to suck in air, and Cole started to grunt as his motion got more urgent.
I felt the pleasure deepening, and I arched up into it, my whole body shaking until the pressure finally broke. I cried out and then gasped in satisfaction as I felt him coming too.
We held on to each other afterward, our bodies relaxed and replete, and he pressed little kisses against my neck—which I loved.
They felt tender, as if he still wanted to give a little more.
But the afterglow couldn’t last forever, and eventually Cole sat up and seemed to shake himself off, as if he’d remembered who he was and what he was doing here.
“It was bound to happen,” I said, heading off whatever he was going to say. “Don’t beat yourself up. We both wanted it. It didn’t compromise you or anything else.”
He gazed at me for a long time. “I’m totally compromised when it comes to you.”
He was looking sober, brooding, but I couldn’t help but like the sound of those words.
I didn’t like the sound of the words he said next though. “It can’t happen again.”
I told myself not to be disappointed. He was still trying to be professional, but I was sure he wanted me as much as I wanted him. And I was also sure that there was more here than sex.
“Okay,” I said with a little smile. “Whatever you say.”
It was definitely going to happen again.
***
The next morning, Sebastian stopped by to talk to me, to see how I was doing.
At least that was what I thought his purpose was until he added, “And just some advice, don’t get too close to Cole. It’s not a good idea.”
My eyebrows arched sky-high. “Excuse me?”
Sebastian’s face twisted with some sort of conflicted feeling. “Don’t get me wrong… He’s a great guy. You know he’s one of my best friends. But I see how you’re looking at him, and I don’t think that would be smart.”
I frowned deeply. “Because he’s not at my level in some way?”
“Of course not. You know I’m not that sort of snob.” He paused. “You don’t know him like I do. Cole’s a great guy. But he’s… he’s had a hard life, and he doesn’t let himself get close to anyone. Ever. You’ll only end up getting hurt.”
“I’m a grown-up, Sebastian, and I’m not naive. I can decide who I date, and I can decide who I sleep with.”
He looked uncomfortable as he raked a hand through his hair. “Look, I was just trying to help. You’re my friend, and I can’t help but worry. He’s… he’s different from you.”
“Yeah. Right. He’s different.”
I was sure Sebastian meant well, but it was very irritating kind of advice to get, so I just walked away from him.
I turned around a corner and almost ran into Cole. I really hoped he hadn’t heard the conversation.
Ten
Cole
Three days later, and I was ready to punch something.
Or someone.
Fucking Sebastian.
I heard his conversation with Evangeline the other day, and it took an act of iron will to not haul off and kick his ass right then and there. But I decided to be the bigger person. To let it go. Besides, it wasn’t like he had said anything I hadn’t already suspected.
That didn’t make it hurt any less to actually hear it out loud.
But now? Honestly, I didn’t even know why I was here since Seb had been sticking to Evangeline like glue. He claimed he was hanging around to be helpful. He was watching over Evangeline so I could focus on what was going on around the set and get a good look at the list of potential suspects Malcolm and I had finally come up with.
Right.
I believed that as much as I believed in the tooth fairy. Seb was sticking around to make sure I wasn’t getting too close to Evangeline or sneaking into her bed.
And believe me, it was a daily battle not to.
The woman was pure temptation. She didn’t even have to do anything more than look at me, and I was hard as a rock and ready to throw her over my shoulder and take her to bed.
Which was why I didn’t look at her when Sebastian was anywhere nearby. He’d catch that look in a heartbeat, and then I’d have to deal with his bullshit.
Or should I say more of his bul
lshit.
One of the great things about starting the agency with the guys was that we were all independent. I mean, we were partners, but we all worked alone. Sure we’d conference call and occasionally call in to get advice, but for the most part, we each worked our own cases.
Until now.
And it was pretty damn insulting.
The whole reason for my being forced to take this case rather than Sebastian in the first place was because of the conflict of interest angle. Well, what the hell happened to that? Now all of a sudden there was no conflict for him?
Bullshit.
I got it. I wasn’t good enough for someone like Evangeline. I came from the wrong side of the tracks. I had a criminal history. I’d been homeless, and I almost killed my own father.
And I killed my best friend.
So yeah, I got it. I could see where Sebastian was coming from. To a point. Over the past two years that we’d been doing this, I had to sit back and listen to him, Levi, and Declan talk about how they had gotten involved with clients, and to be honest, none of those were appropriate hookups.
For crying out loud, Harper was Gavin’s sister! That alone should have stopped Levi in his tracks. The fact that her life was in danger should have sealed the deal on him keeping his distance. But did he? No.
Ali was a suspect on Sebastian’s case. A suspect! For all any of us knew, she was some lunatic who was aiming to kill the guy who had essentially ruined her father’s life. Yeah, like that was a smart hookup. That had Fatal Attraction written all over it.
And Declan? Well, that was just stupid. Don’t get me wrong, I thought Kristin was amazing. She was incredibly sweet, and her daughter was cute as hell. But Declan was having a hard enough time keeping his head above water teaching the first grade, and he went and started banging one of his students’ moms? What the hell?
The point was, out of the three of them, we all should have been looking out for Harper out of respect for Gavin, and we didn’t. Sure, we were all shocked at how Levi was chasing after her, and we razzed the shit out of him on more than one occasion, but none of us stepped in to stop him.
So why me?
Which was exactly what was playing on a constant loop in my head to the point of madness. Evangeline was shooting a scene on location in a grimy downtown park—which was hell to keep secure—and Sebastian was standing right out of camera range. Next to him were two of Malcolm’s guys and the director’s assistants—Matt and Janelle. Matt was on the top of my list right now because the guy practically salivated when he got within ten feet of Evangeline.
Protecting the Movie Star (The Protectors Book 4) Page 12
