by S L Lewis
‘Yes I am,’ I responded a little confused as to why she wouldn’t already know this?
‘Well it’s very nice to meet you. How are you finding accounting? Has Angus and Ann helped you settle in?’ ‘Ok maybe she isn’t a posh cow. She’s actually sounding a lot nicer now. Like she actually cares! But everyone here seems to be a little odd when you get a bit closer. Ann is a Sergeant Major in her spare time and well we all know about Angus! So let’s just test the water with this one but it doesn’t hurt to get friendly with the bosses in other departments, does it? I mean who knows she might have a better job for me up there, she’ll give me a fantastic promotion and I’ll be able to buy all the fancy bath products, like Anya, from Harrods and I’ll be able to walk into work with one of them high powered, really expensive suits, like the managers in Advertising and the dumb and dumber twins on reception will just look on in utter shock.
Ok enough daydreaming I thought as I realised I hadn’t actually answered her question. ‘Everyone has been really nice and I’m just trying to find my feet but it shouldn’t take me long,’ I cheerily replied.
There was another pause as I heard someone come into her room for her signature and then she came back to me and chuckled, ‘well, if you want I could give you the low down on the whole company and give you some advice on how to succeed in the rat race they call AG Cathal.’ ‘Sounds great,’ I eagerly replied as visions of speedy promotions and shopping sprees sprang to mind. ‘How about tonight after work? There’s a little bar down the road which does amazing cocktails and between 5-8pm its buy 1 get 1 free,’ she asked temptingly. ‘Oh no! More alcohol on a work night? Ok I’ll just slowly drink 2 and then be home for 10pm, right? Yep that’s what I’ll do!’ I thought as I agreed and ended the call.
The day seemed to go a lot quicker and as Angus went to various meetings, I was able to focus on completing all the work set, with Ann giving me glances every 10 minutes to make sure I was concentrating and not making endless personal calls and emails like the previous assistant had done.
As it hit 4.45pm, I started to pack up my desk and headed to the toilet to inspect my appearance for the evening ahead. I got to the ladies bathroom door and felt a hand on the back of my neck. ‘One of my fantasies would be me and you getting passionate in the ladies bathroom here,’ it was Angus and his smutty chat up lines.
I moved away from him and tried not to look at him but unfortunately I could smell him and it made it even harder to try to be strong. ‘Can I help you, Mr. Maguire?’ I asked sternly as I looked him in the eye and tried not to crack the confidence I was trying to display. ‘Please never ask that question Nita. Too many naughty thoughts spring to mind,’ he responded smoothly.
Even though he looked good enough to have there and then, I still felt like it was a test to see how professional I was and maybe this meeting with Sarah was too, so I continued, ‘I haven’t got time for this Mr. Maguire, I have meetings I need to attend so if there is nothing else, have a nice evening and I will see you at work tomorrow.’
The atmosphere changed suddenly and he started to laugh. I looked at him with a confused daze. ‘Was this the moment he was going to tell me I’ve passed the test and it’s laughable that this Adonis would even spare me a second look?’ I pondered as he saw I wasn’t joining in with his amusement and he composed himself. ‘Yeh I hear you have a meeting with Sarah from Research?’ unsure at why he found this so amusing, I tread carefully. ‘Yes I do. Is this a problem?’ I retorted. ‘Nope. Not at all. I now understand why you don’t want to get close to me. But have a great evening,’ he said as he smiled. ‘Ahhh now I get it. He thinks I’m going to the meeting to see if she has any jobs for me and thought I was using this position just as a stop gap to move on up to the place where he thinks I really want to be, which is Research. Well if this stops all the flirting then why not play along?’ I mused as I just said goodbye and got ready for the evening.
**********
The bar was darkly lit but was very contemporary with dark walls, low lighting, and a funky, multi coloured bar, comfortable soft leather sofas and strong, clean lined tables. ‘I think they were going for a sexy vampire theme,’ I contemplated as I found Sarah tucked away in a corner of the room.
Sarah was a tall (maybe 5”9), sophisticated looking female. She was definitely a female all the other managers and associates seemed to be scared of.
I heard about Sarah yesterday from one of my colleagues who had a dispute with the way she spoke to him about a mistake he made on one of the accounts. Needless to say he did not make that mistake again.
I couldn’t believe she was this hard talking, ball breaking vixen who could scare the men of the office with one stern word; but that’s her profile in our office and I wanted to find out for myself if these were just lies made up by the men who wanted her job.
With an English rose completion, her dyed, sharply cut, shoulder length black hair made her rose cheeks even more apparent, she sat there with a big smile on her face. ‘So glad you could make it. I hope you didn’t mind but I ordered for you already,’ she said gleefully as I examined the huge Mojito she pushed towards me as I sat down and took off my coat.
She was so easy to talk to.
As we laughed about work (especially Ann and her army approach to getting people to do their job), our family lives and relationships, I realised we had gone through 6 cocktails each and I was starting to see double.
On the sixth drink, I realised the joke she told about Angus and his old methods of trying to close a business deal with female associates made my bladder scream and I had to hurry to the toilet.
As I tried to find the toilet and hover above it with precision (well as much precision as possible when your blood may have actually now turned to pure alcohol!) I finally felt the relief which was much appreciated and a semi drunken state of mind came back to me as I composed myself and headed back out.
The bar had got busier when I got back to my table and two men came over with two Martini’s.
One of the men was dressed in a smart looking black suit, dark blond hair, a dark coloured tie and had very chiselled features. The other man had dark brown hair, a grey suit, black tie and was slightly shorter than his friend, but both were attractive.
I straightened myself in the couch and smiled seductively (or so I thought but after six large cocktails you think your doing everything perfectly!), then the blonde haired man put fresh cocktails on the table and said, ‘Hi. We saw you from the bar and you both looked like you were having such a great time we thought it would be nice to join you?’ his friend smiled in agreement. I was just about to answer but Sarah’s mood changed rapidly. ‘Thank you for the drinks guys but we’re actually in the middle of a business meeting at the moment. Maybe next time?’ Sarah answered quickly.
The men smiled, nodded and went back to the bar. ‘Well that was a bit sharp. We haven’t spoke about work in a professional way since we got here. Are we going to start now? I really hope not as I’ve just dribbled some of the martini on my blouse and I really hope she hasn’t seen that!’ I considered as I pretended to brush some fluff off where the martini evidence was.
‘Sorry about that. I just thought we were having such a nice time getting to know each other that it might have been spoilt with the guys intruding. Well at least we got a free cocktail out of it,’ she giggled and although I was still a little perplexed by her reaction, I couldn’t help but join her in the laughter as we finished the cocktails and then decided to call it a night.
As we stumbled to the bus stop, we were laughing uncontrollably at how we were going to cope with the hangovers at work tomorrow. ‘Well this is my stop. Looks like it’s only gonna be 2 minutes…funny that, I think that’s what my last boyfriend did when we last slept together,’ I blurted out before feeling a flash of embarrassment.
There was an uncomfortable second of silence before Sarah looked at me shocked and then started to laugh loudly again.
We could hear the bu
s approaching and she waited with me whilst it came. The doors opened and the other passengers made their way onto the bus. ‘I’ve had a fantastic evening Neets. You’re such a great girl. I hope we can do it again soon. Maybe I could take you clubbing? I’m glad you’ve joined the company,’ she expressed as she closed in and gave me a drunken lunge hug. ‘That sounds great. I’ve had a great time too and I’m defo up for clubbing. You can be my new work’s party partner,’ I laughed.
However she didn’t laugh.
Instead she backed away and had a serious look on her face.
‘Oh no! Did I say something to offend her?’ I tried to think, as the past seven cocktails were now on the final level of blurring my thoughts.
Just as I was going to apologise for something I might have said to upset her, she put her hands on my face, tilted my head and leaned in to kiss me.
‘What the hell is going on here and why am I not pulling away?’ I screamed in my head.
The kiss was soft, passionate and actually very nice. It started off slow, with our mouths closed, with small movements then after a few seconds the pressure increased until I pulled away when some teenage boys started to wolf whistle as they entered the doorway, ‘I…I have to go now,’ I stuttered as I walked quickly onto the bus.
The doors closed just as I got on and I stared at a shocked looking Sarah standing alone at the bus stop.
‘Am I gay?’ I asked myself all the way home.
**********
The rest of the week comprised the following:
Making sure I kept busy which meant always telling Ann when I finished the work she had set so she could give me some more. She seemed surprised but secretly delighted as I think she thought of herself as a teacher and I was her top pupil who was now getting, ‘A’ grades.
Avoiding Angus and Sarah, which meant when I knew he was in the office I was busy in another department and ignore Sarah’s email and telephone calls asking if we could, ‘talk’.
Meeting up with Renesh for lunch on Thursday as he left a voicemail explaining that he really needed to talk to me. He never phones me unless it’s something serious or he is trying to get a night out planned so he can flirt with Anya some more.
Thursday came surprisingly quick and after all the work I had been doing, I felt slightly more confident in asking Ann if I could have an extended lunch. ‘I would obviously make it up tomorrow by taking the time out of my lunch as I know Fridays are one of our busy days,’ I begged.
As Ann pondered all the work she was going to be able to give me tomorrow at lunchtime, she granted my request and I went to lock my computer and gather my belongings.
Renesh was running late so I ordered a mineral water. Having a glass of wine was not an option for me as a flashback of the horrendous hangover I came into work with on Wednesday slapped my memory. Ann was not amused at my state on Wednesday and to help me ‘learn’ how to prioritise my private and professional life she expected the tasks to be done in half the time.
I couldn’t argue.
Renesh was wearing a crisp grey suit and looked very professional. ‘Hey sis. How’s work going?’ he asked as he ordered a glass of wine.
The chit chat began and we made our orders. After a while I began to sense an awkward feeling. ‘So, I’m sure you didn’t invite me to lunch to hear about my tedious accounts job, what’s up?’ I enquired.
Renesh shifted around in his seat and avoided my gaze before he began, ‘please don’t tell anyone especially mum and dad.’ I sat straight up in my seat and started to worry.
Renesh was the golden boy at home. He told mum and dad everything as he could do no wrong, so what’s going on here? I started to get concerned. ‘Me and Shilpa have been having a few problems recently and I’m not sure where to go next with us,’ he continued. ‘What kind of problems? And what do you mean you don’t know where to go next with it? I hope you’re not talking about divorce, Renesh! You can’t just give up like that,’ I demanded.
The conversation was put on hold for a minute whilst the waiter delivered our main courses; we stayed in silence until he left, ‘Neets, it’s been very difficult! She’s always at the hospital, her shifts are crazy hours and I’m left at home twiddling my thumbs! I’ve been so bored I practically live at the gym and you know I’m usually allergic to exercise until I see a slight bulge. It’s not going to change either because as she goes up the ladder there she’s gonna be working more hours so I’ll see her even less’ he sadly expressed.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Apart my mum and dad, we all admired Renesh and Shilpa’s marriage.
Their marriage was one we all wanted and Renesh knew how hard it would be to end.
I continued to listen to his concerns but felt there was something missing from this story so I continued to investigate. ‘So haven’t you spoken to her about how you feel and what has she said?’ He finished chewing a piece of his braised lamb leg and continued, ‘we have spoken about it. That’s all we do is talk! You know we haven’t had sex for a month because she’s always too tired when she gets home but yet she wants a baby! I don’t know how she expects that to happen? Maybe she’ll hijack my sperm at night and ask one of her doctor friends to inseminate her with it at work on one of her lunch breaks.’
We both looked at each and fell into a fit of laughter.
‘Ok, Renesh. All you need is to get laid! Why don’t you have a romantic night? Get the candles and massage oil out, get Barry White playing and get your groove on?’ I chuckled whilst tucking into my sirloin steak. ‘I’ll give it a try but I tried that last week and she took a long bath without me, turned on her TV show, put the roller’s in her hair and called it a night,’ he sulkily muttered. ‘You just need to try harder then, don’t you?’ I replied.
As he nodded, the waiter came over with dessert menus and I chose the chocolate torte, with Renesh opting for the white chocolate roulade; he continued the conversation with a focus on me this time. ‘Anyway, enough about my marriage, how’s your love life going? Any potential husbands at the new workplace, eh?’
‘Oh why are people always talking about love lives? Can’t they just let me be?’ I screamed in my head as I tried to divert him away from that topic. ‘Oh, no real talent there.’
Renesh laughed and we continued the conversation on more settled ground, Sunday dinner and what mum would be announcing this week (last week it was her holiday idea to Majorca, however dad was having none of it, saying, ‘I will not go to that Brit packed island to be served cheap tasting beer and only having English breakfast for breakfast, lunch and dinner.’ His stereotyping does amuse me at times but mum usually ignores his protests and goes ahead with her plans regardless and dad always has to give in. It’s very cute and very funny).
I get back to the office half an hour late and with a lovely filled stomach feeling; I check my telephone messages and emails before I settle back into the humdrum tasks Ann has piled on my desk in my absence.
As if she has a tracker on me, which tells her when I’m sat back at my desk, she comes up behind me, ‘I trust you’ve had a relaxing lunch? Well forget doing those tasks at the moment, Mr. Maguire has asked us to join him in a meeting with the managers from Advertising, Sales and Marketing and Research to go through a new client profiles. I think it should only be for half an hour. He will just be telling us who the new client is? What the plan of action is for the month? And how much money they will be letting us invest? Make sure you have a note pad and pen please,’ she announced and without a response she walked off.
‘I’m sorry, what was the last department she said? Oh bloody hell, she said Research, didn’t she? Shit, shit, shit. Ok stay calm Nita. You can do this! Just cos Sarah will be in there, it doesn’t have to be awkward, does it? Just stay professional! Explain that you have been very busy and have been meaning to respond to her messages but haven’t found the time. That’s a good excuse, right?’ I thought as I started panicking and the sweaty palms made an unwel
come reappearance.
‘Ok, Mr. Maguire would like us to be the first in the meeting so are you ready?’ Ann asked without it really being a question. ‘I tried to think of an excuse to not go in…food poisoning from lunch time? Nope cos doesn’t that take a few hours to set in? I have a banging headache all of a sudden? Nope cos she already thinks I’m an alcoholic after Wednesday so she’ll be shipping me off to AA before I could say I was joking! Ahhh I know what to say. It never fails!’ Ann regarded impatiently. ‘It’s my time of the month and I’ve got very bad cramps. I think maybe I should go home early as I can never concentrate properly when I first come on,’ I explained as I held my stomach with an Oscar winning performance.
Ann did not look impressed.
She came closer to me and I must admit I got a little nervous.
With the look on her face I thought she was going to give me a wallop. She looked like a mother in a supermarket who is at the end of her tether with her child who is throwing a monster strop because he/she was told they wasn’t going to get the new novelty toy which is advertised everywhere. ‘You will not be going home early, Nita and if you need some pain relief you will go to Human Resources and ask them to get some Paracetamols from the medicine cabinet and be in that meeting before everyone else. You will not let this department down like you let yourself down on Wednesday. Are we clear?’ she whispered to avoid others hearing her anger.
