by S L Lewis
There was an awkward silence and Amelia pretended there was something more interesting to look at in the old TV Times. ‘I decided he was a little too high profile for me,’ she retorted as she composed herself.
Before we could continue the discussion, Anya walked in with three bottles of champagne.
Anya looked slightly tipsy which is strange for her as she can normally handle her alcohol so we were captivated by her new found friendliness. ‘Darlings, how are ve all tonight?’ she enquired in her stronger Russian tone (Anya’s accent was always enhanced when she was either very angry or when she was in the company of other Russians) before she saw Gabrielle’s engagement ring and grabbed her hand, ‘vot is this?’ she gawped.
Gabrielle told her the story and I went to the kitchen with one of Anya’s champagne bottles, opened it and poured a big glass before taking a large swig of it from the bottle.
As happy as I was for my sister and her impending wedding, it also brought to light that I was really nowhere near this with Angus and this made me feel dejected and in need of alcohol, to take me to the happy place where everything is funny, carefree and optimistic until the morning. ‘Here’s to my little sister and her upcoming nuptials’ I shouted as I came out of the kitchen with the bottle and an extra glass for Anya to make a toast. ‘I hope he makes you the happiest bride in the word, Gabs.’ Amelia seconded this as she raised her glass to meet mine in the air. ‘I hope he makes you as happy as Dolph makes me,’ Anya announced as we all looked at her in surprise as she never showed her emotions and this sign of sentiment for Dolph was new and very unforeseen.
However, we all managed to compose ourselves in time to congratulate the new bride-to-be and settled down to an evening of wedding talk, speculation on our new neighbour upstairs, Anya’s new declaration about Dolph and when Gabrielle should have her engagement party. ‘Well, I think you should make it big and glamorous with all the trimmings! You only do it once you know!’ Amelia declared as we nodded in agreement. ‘How about the country house where mum and dad had their anniversary party last year?’ I asked as I remembered the beautiful, spacious dining hall with the regal cornicing on the ceiling. ‘That actually sounds like a good idea Neets,’ approved Gabrielle as she started writing down all our ideas.
The ideas came thick and fast but just as I was enjoying contributing to it all; I was starting to get tired so after finishing the remains of champagne bottle number three, I decided it was time for bed.
After crying into my pillow about the state of my love life and how much champagne I had consumed in such a short period of time, I was out cold, in a deep, peaceful sleep.
**********
‘What a difference a month can make,’ I daydreamed as I sat at my desk pretending to work whilst looking at the latest celebrity spilt on the internet.
Work was going really well. I aced the interview for the research assistant’s position so I moved floors and had an office (which I had to share with one other person but it was a start) with a nice view and an even nicer pay cheque!
My relationship with Angus recovered from ‘the hanging up on him’ incident and we were back to romantic meals at the Golders Green apartment, although we didn’t see each other as much as we used to but I put this down to him trying to make sure his wife doesn’t find out about us and cause difficulties with the divorce, so I never complained…much!
Amelia was going on a few dates but no matter how hard she tried to hide her feelings, we all knew she still loved Geron but we also knew that the wound was still open so she wouldn’t take him back just yet.
The engagement party and wedding plans were in full swing and Gabrielle was enjoying her moment of attention by trying to steer all conversations and arrangements towards her and the wedding. No one could blame her for this until my parent’s poor neighbour, Mrs Hastley, died of old age and as we all went to pay our condolences, Gabrielle decided to give the following soothing words to her daughter, ‘well she picked a nice day for it. I hope I have a similar day for my wedding,’ before being dragged away in utter embarrassment by mum.
Mum had given up on speed dating and instead opted for weekly salsa lessons at the local community centre with Brenda from next door and a Friday night out with the ladies from the hospital.
She still refused to speak to dad, ripping up any letters that came from him and would hang up as soon as she heard his voice. ‘Mum, you know you’ll have to speak to him sooner or later, don’t you?’ I pleaded as I went round for my regular mid week catch up (I no longer needed to stay throughout the week as she seemed to have got most of the rage out of her system, much to Gabrielle’s annoyance as she found one of the crystal vases she bought mum for her birthday in newspaper in the bin!).
‘Let say later then,’ mum coolly replied as she sipped her hot tea and diverted the conversation to Gabrielle’s engagement party.
Renesh and Shilpa’s marriage seemed to have improved as they were arguing less and Renesh looked happier and healthier. ‘The gym is really turning you into a different man, bro’;’ I commented one Sunday as we all inspected his new glow.
He laughed it off before Gabrielle added, ‘yeh, maybe now Anya might give you a second look.’
We all laughed as we all knew about his crush on Anya but he smoothly ignored our mocking and continued to eat.
‘Maybe I should join the gym and get rid of this muffin top I’ve developed, having eaten all those delicious puddings Angus allows me to eat at these fancy restaurants, when we manage to leave the flat,’ I thought as I looked down at my struggling button on my jeans. ‘Do you still go to the same gym, Ren?’ I asked as I patted my stomach to show the much needed exercise. ‘Errm, no I go to the one near my work place as that one was starting to get too crowded at the weekends,’ he replied as he chuckled at my expanding waistline.
The thought of my waistline increasing any more threw the thought of more gym fanatics on a Saturday morning out of my head and I made a mental note to join and go to my first session this weekend.
I decided to keep this new regime to myself so that when they all saw me at the engagement party looking slim, toned and gorgeous it would be more of a shock and I could have a tiny bit of the limelight.
I know it should be Gabrielle’s moment but she has the limelight all the time, I only want a few minutes. That’s fair, isn’t it?
Anya was working away quite a lot and although she was always very vague when she returned, we all thought it had something to do with her new found love for her popular client, Dolph but she never admitted it.
It was good she was away a lot, as the work on the building project upstairs was becoming unbearable.
Dirt coming in under the door, noise from the badly tuned radio the workmen listened to from the time they got on site to the time they left, banging, drilling and this wouldn’t be so bad if it was just in the week day but it developed into weekends too.
‘Look can’t you come later tomorrow. It’s the weekend, we’d all like a lie in,’ Amelia requested of the two large, burley builders. Before they answered, they decided to take a sneaky peek into the hallway to see me in my rollers and replied, ‘sorry but we have strict working hours but if you and your girlfriend want to speak to the boss I’ll ask him to pop round. I’m sure he’ll be happy to,’ the one nearest to the door sniggered as he looked at Amelia in a suggestive manner.
Luckily, I had removed the large umbrella which had been drying off in the tray next to the door, as I would have been a bit nervous that the builder may have been wearing it. ‘Obviously, I can’t speak to tweedle dumb and dumber so I’ll speak to the council instead,’ she announced as she slammed the door in their now less confident expressions.
Two hours later there was a knock at the door.
Fearing it might be the two builders from earlier, I ran to the door, ‘darling, I’m so sorry for all the problems with the noise and dirt,’ said an Italian accent from behind a large bunch of expensive looking flowers.
She was dressed in a fitted, sleeveless, navy blue, bodycon dress which looked like it was straight from a boutique in Milan. Long, loosely curled, ash blonde hair ending just at her elbows, gold high heeled sandals encasing perfect pedicures, a luxurious tinted gold pearl choker with a matching bracelet and a gold and navy blue handbag which pulled the whole outfit together and gave her the sexy but elegant, power business woman look with the perfect amount of feminine chic to add warmth to her personality.
As I stood there admiring this immaculate woman in front of the dirt and rubble, Amelia came to see who was at the door and saved me from the embarrassing gawping I was doing as I admired her attire. ‘Hello, can we help you?’ Amelia enquired as she wasn’t immediately impressed by this lady’s apparel.
The lady pushed the mammoth bouquet into her left hand and held out her right hand to which Amelia accepted and shook. ‘My name is Tiziana and it is unfortunately me who is causing all this commotion upstairs,’ she purred as though she was rehearsing a play for Broadway. ‘You’ve bought the two flats upstairs?’ I butted in without hesitation. ‘Guilty, darling,’ she continued as she presented Amelia with the posh looking flowers and reached down to the side of the door and handed me a bottle of Perrier Jouet's Belle Epoque and a shiny black box wrapped in gold lace. ‘This is just a small gift to apologise. I hope we’ll be good neighbours?’ she asked as I ushered her inside to the front room and sat her down on the sofa as though I was now an official groupie.
Amelia was less impressed but was able to maintain a smile, although I could see her immediate reservation about Tiziana. ‘So what do you do for a living?’ Amelia investigated as she got bored with the small talk.
Tiziana’s smile seemed to faulter slightly as she replied, ‘I’m a PA, darling’. Amelia gave me a curious stare as I knew what would be coming next. ‘Are you a PA to the Queen? It’s just it must be quite expensive to buy the two flats and knock them into one,’ she continued as if she was a detective interrogating her key witness in an American crime drama. I looked away as though I didn’t want to see the look on Tiziana’s face. ‘Ahhh, it’s all just money darling. I save and I spend wisely. You can’t take it with you, isn’t that what they say?’ Tiziana joked as she took another sip of the champagne I quickly bought into the front room to distract Amelia from her questionning.
Amelia wasn’t satisfied with Tiziana’s response but before she could press the topic any further I made a toast, ‘to new neighbours,’ and we all clinked glasses and started to tell Tiziana about the other neighbours and general gossip from the area.
Half an hour later and still gossiping, but now about Tiziana’s experiences with fashion faux pas’, London life and men, Gabrielle came home and joined me with my new found admiration, with Amelia just observing from the sideline. ‘I absolutely love your dress, Tiziana. Can I ask where you bought it from?’ admired Gabrielle, as she got herself a glass from the kitchen. ‘Darling, I do not get my clothes from the high street,’ protested Tiziana, as though slightly insulted by the insinuation.
Gabrielle flashed red with embarrassment as Tiziana continued, ‘all my clothes are made especially for me. I’m a one off darling,’ she boasted as Amelia nudged me and gave me a suspicious look.
I ignored her as I was overwhelmed by our new neighbours stories and intoxicating personality and allowed her to continue with her stories of coming to London in the 90s, her shabby first studio flat and where she is now.
The stories gushed from her mouth and held her captive audience for another hour before she was interrupted by a call and had to leave. ‘Darlings, we must do this again very soon?’ she posed as both Gabrielle and I did our best impressions of the nodding dog you see in the back of cars.
When she departed, we all started to speculate what Tiziana did for a career as we all wanted to join her and start reaping some of her wealth. ‘I think she works with celebrities,’ Gabrielle guessed.
Amelia shook her head, just as Anya came in, so we told her about our new fascinating neighbour. ‘What did she look like?’ Anya asked whilst getting cutlery for her Harrods chicken salad takeaway.
We took it in turns to give our opinions on Tiziana’s appearance as Anya raised her hand to inform us that she’d heard enough of mine and Gabrielle’s gushing. ‘I know who she is,’ Anya announced as we all focused on her intently.
‘And she doesn’t work as a PA unless I can also call my job a PA position,’ she continued sarcastically.
We all stared at her in disbelief.
‘She’s an escort?’ Amelia grinned as I looked at her with a frown as she is always right.
Anya nodded and continued to eat her salad as though she hadn’t just told us some surprising news.
Not content with the summary she gave us, we grilled Anya for more details and we found out; Tiziana was a 35 year old escort, who (like her men) has expensive taste and will stop at nothing to get what she wants.
Anya encountered Tiziana a few years ago when the ladies were sitting in a famous hotel lounge and approached the same man. The man was very happy to have the two ladies attention and suggested they both continue the conversation in his room, to which Anya declined and Tiziana accepted, along with another lady sat at the other side of him and they went their separate ways. ‘I work alone,’ protested Anya as the story seemed to bring back infuriating memories and she seemed to get more agitated before the narrative came to an end.
No one dared to press Anya with more questions and we all hurried to change the subject to the proposed engagement party until I decided to head to bed to get a fresh start at the gym.
**********
Surprisingly, there were quite a few people building up a sweat on the machines, as I stared around the room checking out the equipment to see which one would cause me minimal pain; ‘the running machine’ I thought as I headed towards the huge windows they stood in front of. ‘Have you been here before?’ a middle-aged muscular man asked dressed in a vest and tracksuit top. ‘I’ve just signed up today,’ I replied as I started walking on the machine hoping he would go away.
Although he was muscular and seemed to look like he came here every day, he had a neon orange tan, jet black hair, which looked badly dyed and an odour which suggested he had been working out for the past few hours without getting a shower.
As I mastered the, ‘breathing through my mouth’ routine, he didn’t get the message and continued, ‘you don’t look like you need the gym.’ The compliment was not greatly received and as I had a flash of him trying this line on every new lady, I retorted, ‘yeah, thanks’.
After a few silent moments, he got the message and went to bother two blondes in Lycra who just walked through the doors.
After 10 minutes constantly increasing the speed, I managed to get to a fast jog, with a militant sweat on, so I decided it was time to get off and have a break.
However, I forgot to push the emergency stop button and kept pressing the slow down button.
I tried to jump off but I didn’t jump far enough, lost my balance whilst one foot remained on the machine, one foot went to the left, one foot was on the machine and I did the splits.
The only problem was I couldn’t do the splits, until now and the scream that came out proved it.
The receptionist and a personal trainer came running over to me to see what all the commotion was about. ‘Are you ok?’ the female receptionist asked as she helped me up.
I could hear a few sniggers after I confirmed I was fine but my ego was bruised, especially when I saw the sleazy man who tried to chat me up earlier laughing at my misfortune with the two blondes. ‘Uuuurrgh, well if you’re that desperate,’ I thought as I ignored the quiet mocking and attempted a less strenuous contraption by sitting on the exercise bike.
I decid
ed that after needing ice on my private regions, I would only attempt 30 more minutes on the exercise bike before retreating for a much needed ego massaging chocolate bar from the corner shop down the road.
I slowly made my way to the changing rooms and tried to negotiate getting into jeans before realising the pain was still very much there, so I put back on my jogging bottoms and my tight t-shirt to show I’m still feminine even in my grey and slightly dusty bottoms.
The sunglasses went on, the bag was thrown over my shoulder and I was ready to get my luxuries from Mr Khan and his chocolate counter.
Trying to forget what just happened at the gym, I turned the corner and saw Renesh stood on the opposite side of the street.
He didn’t see me as he was further down the road, so I thought I’d get closer to him before I surprised him in my gym attire.
I got closer, and started to think of what lies to tell him about how long I was at the gym for and how many crunches I did.
