by Anna Antonia
Every day afterwards brought Gabriel further into my life, making a mess of the orderly world I had created as Emma Adams, Junior Financial Analyst. Lunches became dinners, and dinners quickly became much more. Gabriel bedeviled me, teased me, and more often than not, made me want to throw things at his head. Still, just as in high school, I couldn't help but see the pain behind his lazy grin and the shadows in his crystalline gaze.
When Gabriel told me he loved me for the first time, I should have been the happiest woman in the world. Instead, I saw it as proof that some men can't be saved. They'd lie to get out of anything, including being caught having lunch with an ex. They’d lie to hide who they really were.
They’d lie just to lie.
I was wrong about him...about what I thought this relationship had really been about. I’d been a naïve fool, someone who thought she knew it all, knew her life, and thought she knew the man she loved.
Lunch with an ex…I wished it was just about that.
I needed to be wrong about Gabriel. God, I hoped I was wrong.
Why did I let it get this far? Especially when I knew that loving him would be as dangerous as cutting out my heart and letting him keep it in his pocket?
Because Gabriel was my biggest regret and my greatest love.
I could no sooner stop loving him than I could stop breathing.
Damnit! I’m so freakin’ insane to be here, to still want him.
“Emma…baby…are you still there?”
I sighed and answered, “Yeah.”
“Let me in…please.”
There was no hope for it. I stood up and unlocked the door.
CHAPTER TWO
Friday, Five Days Earlier
Obelisk Pointe Building
“Hold the elevator please!”
Oh damn it. My luck wasn’t really going to be this bad, was it? No, no, no…yes, it was. The petite woman in front of me reached out and kept the doors from closing. Two men entered, both tall, but only one of them known to me.
“I’ve rescheduled your interview with the Times to this afternoon at three.”
“Good. Anything else?”
“You have a charity dinner tonight starting at 8:30.”
“Which one is this again? The Senior Center or the Humane Society?”
“Senior Center.”
I took a small step back, doing my best to remain unnoticed as I slid closer to the corner. Gabriel Gordon overpowered the small space, making it impossible to ignore him. Dressed in a tailored grey suit, he looked entirely too beautiful to be real. I only caught a glimpse of his tie, but it was as pale a blue as the color surrounding his pupils. The strip of white at his neck brought out the myriad shades of gold in his beautiful hair. If I leaned a bit closer, I’d be able to indulge my nose’s desire to take another whiff of his deliciously scented cologne.
Damn, but he was still a gorgeous man who wrecked havoc on any female within eyesight—including me.
Oh, not fair. Not fair.
Gabriel’s voice was just as deep and husky as it’d been in high school. Hearing it brought back to life countless memories I’d rather not have relived at the moment. I noticed the woman who’d kept the doors from closing surreptitiously peeking up at him from beneath her lashes.
I’d seen that look often enough to know Gabriel had just scored another infatuated heart to add to his collection. And I still had twenty-eight floors left to go. Gabriel had fifty-four which meant I’d have to pass him to leave.
Shit.
Come on, Emma! Stop being a little chicken. He’s so deep in conversation with his assistant he probably won’t even recognize you!
True. I had lightened my dark hair with generous blond highlights and had switched from glasses to contacts. I’d also grown a few inches too, vertically and horizontally, no longer possessing the willowy frame of my youth. I was the last person in the world he’d be looking for and our accidental proximity wouldn’t do anything to change that. So basically I needed to calm down.
Right. Calm down when Gabriel Gordon, the only man I regretted loving and leaving, stood only a few feet away.
Good luck with that.
The elevator soon rolled to an elegant stop. “Excuse me,” came out of Samaritan Girl’s mouth. She sounded breathy and excited.
Gabriel instantly stepped aside. His smile lit the dim elevator like a thousand watt bulb. “Of course. Thank you again for holding the doors.”
“Anytime!”
“What’s your name, dear?” he asked gently when she remained by his arm.
“Samantha.”
Samantha the Samaritan’s lingering seemed to irritate his assistant. I wondered how much of his precious time was wasted watching his employer flirt with anything in a skirt. How I pitied him!
This was exactly why I wanted to pitch a fit when I learned my company was moving into Obelisk Point. Everyone else was excited by the glass curtain walls, observation decks, plazas, lightening-fast elevators, multi-level gym, helipad, and swimming pools.
Yes, swimming pools.
Not me. I wanted to stay where I was and not have to do a daily commute to Gabriel Gordon’s magnificent building. Never mind that it actually shaved about 15 minutes off my drive. Nope, that wasn’t enough inducement for me. I simply didn’t want to relive my high school years again, but here I was doing just that.
Lovely. Really. It’s not like I have to get back to work. No, I can stand here all day long while you two chat each other up.
Irritated, I looked at my watch. I wished they’d hurry it along and not because I was feeling uncomfortable. And I definitely was not feeling the pinpricks of jealousy. No way.
Really.
Okay. It was obvious I lied. I did feel jealous. I felt more than jealous. I felt dangerously possessive, an emotion I had no right to feel, especially considering how things ended between us. So I stewed in my corner, recognizing my pettiness and yet unable to do anything but grit my teeth.
My pride won’t let me run so hurry and go. Please. Just do this somewhere else where I can pretend it isn’t still affecting me.
“I don’t want to hold you up any further. Thank you again for your kindness, Samantha.”
The long-suffering assistant immediately began speaking to Gabriel afterwards, leaving the woman no choice but to walk out the elevator with a smile and a glassy-eyed stare.
Geez, nothing ever really changes, does it?
I swallowed my rude snort. Or at least I thought I did.
Gabriel looked over his shoulder, heaven blue gaze mildly curious before widening in electric shock.
“Emma?”
I cleared my throat and did my best to pretend that this wasn’t the absolute worst thing to happen to me since I left him standing on my porch seven years before.
“Hello, Gabriel.”
He turned fully towards me and beamed with pleasure. The smile he’d given Samantha the Samaritan instantly paled in comparison. Gabriel’s simple movement of lips and teeth created a blindingly beautiful greeting. It slayed my irritation over being caught, leaving me in a low-grade panic.
I was as vulnerable as ever to him and I had nowhere to run.
“Emma, this is a most pleasant and welcome surprise.”
I couldn’t exactly say the same so I murmured something vague but polite. Gabriel saw right through it. He stepped closer and murmured, “Still don’t like me much, do you?”
My mouth dropped open. His assistant’s dark brow raised a notch before he turned to look up at the mirrored ceiling. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I lowered my voice and answered, “I don’t dislike you.”
“But you did.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“It sure didn’t feel that way from where I stood.”
Was that a dig for how things ended between us? It probably was. Flustered, I haltingly apologized. “I’m sorry I made you feel that, Gabriel. Really. I always liked you…even when I said…well, you know.”
I was telling the truth, but I couldn’t blame him if he didn’t believe me. I never disliked Gabriel but leaving his bed, turning down his offer to be his only girl, and never speaking to him again sure as hell didn’t support my claim.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I could see in his eyes he knew what I was talking about.
“There’s no way in hell I’d ever be your girlfriend, Gabriel. I know who you really are. I’m not mad enough to ever put myself through that kind of misery. I’m worth more than just being a notch in your belt. A lot more.”
The strident voice of my seventeen year old self faded from memory, leaving me alone with the twenty-five year old man I had once said those vicious words to. Sadness washed over me as I once again wondered if I had made a mistake in turning Gabriel away.
“I’m glad to finally hear it.” His lazy-lidded gaze sparkled with mirth, nearly disguising a flash of stark sadness.
Guilt prickled me. That and regret.
Gabriel Gordon the billionaire was invincible and impervious to mortal weakness. Gabriel the young man I’d watched for so long wasn’t. I knew better than believing the outside was any real indication of a person’s insides.
Tenderness evaporated when I heard him ask smugly, “So for how long did you pine over me, Emma?”
“W-What?” I sputtered, apparently still unable to coherently speak. “Pine over you? Did you really just use the word ‘pine’?”
“Was it just senior year or all four of them? I bet it was all four of them, wasn’t it?” Gabriel leaned closer. “I mean, you spent so much time staring at me. It had to be about more than just my good looks.”
I crossed my arms and re-crossed them, feeling like an awkward teenager again. “That’s pretty arrogant of you.”
“Sure it is. I’m always arrogant. Now answer the question.”
“I don’t have to answer that, Gabriel. And you really shouldn’t be asking.”
“Oh yes. There it is!” He leaned closer and murmured, “That’s what I’ve been missing.”
Confused, I frowned deeply. “What are you talking about?” My sour tone should’ve put him off. Instead, it made his expression crease with delight.
“That attitude, Emma, and the little wrinkle that forms right here. I see it hasn’t gotten any bigger so it must only come out when you’re talking to me.” His fingertip tapped the bridge of my nose lightly.
Gabriel’s brief touch warmed me. My body instantly recognized the sensation, blooming with joy at feeling him again. Apparently it hadn’t forgotten that long ago night either.
“It’s not nice of you to point out my wrinkles, Gabriel.”
“But it’s my wrinkle, Emma. I’m very proud of its existence.”
I choked on a laugh and tried to disguise it as a cough. He saw right through me. Again.
“So tell me, Emma…” He drew out my name in a way I hadn’t heard in so many years.
“Yes?” The elevator steadily rose higher. I was sure I should’ve reached my floor by now. Glad I hadn’t, I let myself enjoy the moment of being with the man that had always fascinated me so.
Gabriel took a step closer. He towered over me, making me utterly aware of his body. Even though I had grown a few inches so had he. I was back to being a blade of grass struggling to grow in the enormity of Gabriel’s shadow. Or a moth battering against the window, wanting so badly to come inside and become one with his light.
Gabriel’s lips curled into another amazing smile. He reached out and ran the back of one finger against my cheek. I closed my eyes, finding it harder to breathe. I’d gone so quickly from petty resentment to this liquid sensation. I wanted to lean closer to him, to rest my head on his chest and hear his heartbeat.
“How many years was it?”
I looked at him in confusion. It was difficult to think while his finger continued its slow slide up and down across my warm cheek. “How many years was what?”
“How many years did you like me, Emma?” His gaze darkened as he stared at my mouth. “How many years did you like me like I liked you?”
There were too many ‘likes’ in that sentence. A girl should have some secrets, but standing there, so close to his exquisite face and seeing myself reflected in his crystal blue eyes, I decided this was one I didn’t have to keep anymore.
“Longer than even I realized. Long after graduation.”
Gabriel nodded slowly, seemingly still fixated on the shape of my mouth. “I wish I had figured it out back then.”
A small hum appeared in my throat. I swayed towards him. His hand left my face, moving down until his fingers curled around my wrist.
“Did you almost want to die of regret?” Gabriel asked abruptly, in a harsh near-whisper.
My eyes widened. Shocked by his question, I looked over his shoulder, seeing the still silent assistant now standing there with back discreetly turned to us.
“Don’t look at him! Stay right here with me.”
I obeyed immediately, gaze refocusing back on his. My mind was in too much of a jumble to make sense of my uncommon reaction.
“Did you ever regret saying no to me? I need to know, Emma.”
I dangled on the question, feeling like I shouldn’t answer just because he demanded it of me. It was instinctual. I didn’t want to be controlled by anyone, no matter how alluring the command. Still, Gabriel never truly fit in the parameters I set for myself and the outside world.
He never had and that’s why I knew Gabriel for the walking danger he was. He threatened me by being like the sun, for tempting me to love him for simply existing and staying forever out of my reach.
So did I regret saying no? Of course I did. But then again, maybe I was crazy because I still couldn’t face the possibility of yes.
“I did but—”
“No, I don’t want to hear the rest.” Gabriel closed his eyes. A shudder went through him. His entire body relaxed, unwinding from tension I didn’t see he carried until it was gone. “I finally know what I needed to know.”
Moments passed with suspended anticipation before I asked softly, “Which is?”
Gabriel speared me again with his brilliant gaze. “It wasn’t just me.”
The breath left my body. My fingertips itched to trace the sharp lines of his cheekbones. “No, it wasn’t just you.”
“I scared you then, didn’t I?”
Then? Gabriel scared me now. He was everything shimmering beyond the veil of my reality. The comparisons between his world and mine always left me feeling disoriented, like a visitor in a perfectly maintained castle. Something exquisite meant to be experienced and lusted after—but only for a short period.
Look but don’t touch.
“Yes.” The word slipped out before I could capture it. “You still do.”
“I’m sorry for that, Emma. I really am.”
The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Visiting hours were over. I twisted my wrist. Gabriel let go. Smoothing my hands down my skirt, I managed a brief shaky smile. “I better get going.”
“Why? We just started our talk.”
“I’ve reached my floor.”
“Really? That quickly?”
“Yes.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “Floor twenty-nine. Med-Tech. You just moved in.”
I made an affirmative sound, suddenly wishing I really didn’t have to leave. I loved the way he’d just looked at me, sweetly as if I was a precious sight. How did Gabriel still have the power to do this to me? Where was my wall, the one I frantically built and rebuilt when he’d decided to woo me seven years before? Was I so susceptible to his charms like everyone else?
Do I really have to ask that question when I already know the answer?
I had to put distance between us.
“It was good seeing you, Gabriel, but I have to go.” I made to step around him when he stepped in the same direction, neatly blocking me. “What are you doing?”
Gabriel ignored my question. Amusement danced in his g
aze. “Do you like working there?”
“Yes.”
“How well?”
“A lot.”
“Any chance of you leaving?”
“Why?” My stomach clenched. Had I totally misread the situation? Maybe Gabriel didn’t fancy tripping over me, much like I hadn’t fancied it for the past month.
“I could always use a brilliant mind like yours at Gordon Industries.”
I let out an incredulous laugh, relieved that he wasn’t politely asking me to find another place to work far from him and his high-tech building. “You’re kidding!”
Gabriel’s smile died. He shook his head. “No. I’m not. What do you do at Med-Tech?”
“I’m a junior analyst.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. What division?”
“Sales and Marketing.”
He nodded his head. “You should come work for me. How much time would you need to give your notice?”
“Are you…Gabriel…you’re…are you out of your mind?”
“Perfectly sane.”
“I am not coming to work for you. I like where I’m at now.”
“Okay. I’ll double your current salary.”
“No! It’s not about money.”
“If it’s not money then what would it take to get you to come to me?”
“Nothing!”
“Don’t say such things to a man like me, Emma,” he warned with a lazy grin. “I’ll see it as a challenge I can’t resist.”
I tried to step around Gabriel again. He blocked me once more.
“Gabriel! Let me pass!”
“Not yet.”
“But I’m due back from lunch.” I hated the whining quality of my tone. I tried again. “I have to go.”
Gabriel approached me. I took one small step back before hitting the wall. His arms caged me. Leaning forward, he mused, “What happens if I keep you with me? Let’s say I don’t let you off this elevator and instead take you to my floor. Then I keep you in my office for the rest of the afternoon. What do you think will happen to you then?”
Given the intimate cadence of his tone, I wish I could say I didn’t imagine lots of exposed flesh, but I can’t. Memories of our one night together rose up to possess me once more. Gabriel may have only been a boy back then, but he’d still given me the best pleasure of my life. What would it be like now?
