“She’s not giving you the eye; she’s giving me the eye.” Jim pushed him out of the way to squint at the mirror, even though Tyler doubted he could actually see his reflection.
“It’s me she’s sweet on. What would she want with an old coot like you?” Homer pushed back and postured in front of the mirror, flexing non-existent muscles in his skinny arms.
“You’re both old coots.” Tyler settled the argument, or so he thought. No such luck.
Both men ignored Tyler and continued their arguing over who would win the favors of some blue-haired old lady. Tyler cranked the sound on the television and settled into his chair, listening to the sounds of home.
Tyler grinned, finally grasping the true value of the important things in his life. Things he’d denied himself in the past as being unworthy. Things money couldn’t buy. Putting his heart on the line scared the crap out of him, but he’d handle the fear and be a better man for it.
Ryan would approve, and so would Tyler’s dad.
* * * * *
Bundled in a heavy sweatshirt, Lavender leaned her head on Tyler’s broad shoulder. The dock rocked gently underneath them as the current from the incoming tide pushed against the floats. A thick quilt protected them from splinters and offered some cushion from the wood planks. Stars twinkled in the night sky and frogs croaked cheerfully in a nearby pond.
A crisp breeze scented the spring air with a combination of fir trees and salt water. A bottle of wine sat between them, along with two wine glasses. Tyler draped his arm across Lavender’s shoulders, the gesture seemed casual, yet a niggling feeling warned Lavender it was more than that.
She saw herself sitting here with this man on this dock through all the seasons until their hair turned gray and their wrinkled faces attested to the happy life they’d led together.
In her wildest dreams.
She recognized an illusion when it bit her in the butt. Her recent battles with Tyler regarding her family opened a void between them and rammed home the impossibility of anything lasting. Despite the inevitable hanging over them, she embraced the moment as if it might be their last, because some intuitive part of her understood it was.
Even though she’d fallen in love with the loveable asshole.
In a few days, he’d leave her and her shattered heart for the mainland and his old life. She’d stay here and dream of things that could’ve been and never would be. And she’d do so without regrets because a life without risks wasn’t much of a life at all. She’d cherish every moment they had together. Tonight the beauty of the islands weaved its magic around her heart. The moon’s soft glow bathed them in a golden light. Breathing life into their doomed relationship, she’d cherish this fleeting moment in her life forever. Tyler sipped his wine, seemingly content to just be and not ruin the spell with shallow words and unrealistic promises. His body warmth flowed through him into her, keeping her cozy on this cool spring night.
“Are you going back to football?”
“I don’t know what else to do.” He stared out at the water, but a muscle jerked in his jaw, betraying how conflicted he still was on that subject.
“Tyler, do what you love for the right reason, or you’ll no longer love it.” She touched his strong jaw with a finger and let it bump along his ever-present stubble. “What’s the reason you play football, Ty? Is it the money, the fame, or something else?”
He mulled her question over for a minute, as if trying to figure out the answer. “I’ve never wanted to do anything else. It’s always been football as long as I can remember. When I was a toddler I slept with a football. When I was in junior high school, I watched every game I could on TV. My dad and I would analyze every play, every move made by a quarterback. In high school, I knew I wasn’t just good; I was one of the best. Call me arrogant, but a top-level athlete better be arrogant on the field because once you get to the pros, everyone’s operating with essentially the same skill set and athletic ability. So the other ninety percent is mental.”
“And that’s been your problem. The mental.”
“Yeah, lately. Since Ryan.” His voice sounded choked, as if a vise squeezed his heart.
“Tell me about Ryan.” She entwined her fingers with his.
Tyler tensed and stared out at the water. He blew out a long breath, seemed to consider his options, then answered. “I never let myself get involved, especially with kids. I get tons of requests to see kids, especially sick kids. I usually find time but keep it on a superficial level. Ryan wasn’t superficial, and his death made me question everything I’d ever believed about myself. When my life is over, can I honestly say I’ve done my very best and used the tools and talents at my disposal to make other people’s lives richer? Would this world be improved because I’d been in it for a short time? But I’m off subject. You asked about Ryan.”
Lavender nodded. He gripped her shoulder tighter.
“Ryan was a high school quarterback and a good one. Derek got to know him through Mitch.”
“Mitch?”
“Rachel’s brother. Mitch coached the kid in high school, an up and coming star. Several months before his senior year, Ryan was diagnosed with cancer and given six months to live. When he was pretty much wheelchair bound, his mother, a local barfly and worse, skipped out on him. None of us knew he was living alone until Ryan fell out of his wheelchair and couldn’t get back up. He called Derek to rescue him. After that, Mitch took Ryan in. The team adopted him. The players’ wives took turns keeping an eye on him during the day and the players hung out with him in the evening. He became everyone’s little brother, especially for Derek and me.”
“I didn’t know. I mean I’d heard about Ryan, but I didn’t know how involved the team was with him.”
“He was the little brother I never had and always wanted. I got pretty attached to the kid. He asked me to find his mother so he could say goodbye to her. I found her stripping in Vegas. She refused to come back.” Tyler’s voice cracked. He rubbed his hands over his face. “The team was just walking off the flight after winning the division title, next stop the Super Bowl when we got the call. Ryan was in the hospital for one last time. He wouldn’t make it out. Derek and I raced there as did the rest of the team. The kid died a few minutes later. I got to say good bye to him. He told me he loved me and that he saw through me, that I did care about people. I didn’t know how to take that. I felt like a fake. I died that day, too, but I pushed through the next two weeks in a haze, a man on a mission. I swore we’d win the Super Bowl for Ryan or die trying. I’ve never wanted anything so badly in all my life.”
Tyler looked at her, his eyes misty with unshed tears. He shook his head, as if still in denial Ryan had died. “I think I used all my try in that game because after it was over every ounce of emotion drained out of me and left this big, empty hole nothing could fill. Not football. Not friends. Not women. Nothing.”
She opened her mouth to talk but he held up a hand to silence her. Tyler faced her, taking both her hands in his. He stared at her as if he’d never really seen her before. Tenderness shone in his eyes and left her lightheaded. “Until I met you.”
Lavender choked with sadness and pride for this stubborn, wonderful man. “Tyler, I—”
“No, listen. At first, you flat-out pissed me off, but at least it was something. Then there was the lust. Now that was really something.” He almost smiled. “But somewhere along the line it became so much more than that. More than I bargained for. You gave me back a piece of what was missing. You made me see that even though I don’t put my life on the line, I can still make a difference. I can influence so many people. I can be the man my father always wanted me to be. You did that for me. You gave me purpose.”
“I’m happy for you, but I didn’t do it. You did that for yourself.”
“No, you showed the way, like a beacon in the night. You’re good for me. I like having you around.”
“This ends when you leave the island.” Lavender held her breath, prayed for an a
rgument from him, a declaration of how much she meant. He wanted her in his bed and to be his companion, but love didn’t enter into it. She couldn’t be with him on a long-term basis if he didn’t love her. She needed so much more from him than he was willing to give because somewhere in the past few months she’d fallen in love with him despite her best intentions and denial no longer made the feelings go away.
It was what it was.
“We don’t have to end it.” His hopeful expression almost changed her mind, but she stuck to her guns.
“No, you were right the first time. We’ve been down this road before. It won’t work for so many reasons. Let’s start with location and end with family—as in mine can’t stand you.” Even as she outlined all the reasons it wouldn’t work, she hoped he’d convince her it would, but he didn’t.
Tyler focused his gaze back on the water. The moonlight reflected off his handsome face, which seemed to have turned to granite once more.
Lavender buried her face in his tense shoulder and wished life could be different, that somehow a little island magic could survive and show them the way.
She didn’t know how that could be possible.
* * * * *
Tyler sighed and tucked Lavender against his side. He closed his eyes and let his intuition make the decision. The answer came through loud and clear. He wanted to keep Lavender in his life. For how long, he didn’t know.
He thought he loved her but couldn’t say the words. Not yet. Not until he was sure.
Sure, he’d resisted and been the one to insist their relationship had to end, but this wouldn’t be the first time he changed his game plan when the pending outcome didn’t work for him. He didn’t want to let her go. He’d been stubborn and stupid. For once, he’d take the emotional risk and lay it on the line tomorrow night on Lavender’s birthday.
Fate dealt him an odd hand. What better way to celebrate the end of his exile and the beginning or something new than to give Lavender the best gift he could think of and one money couldn’t buy? He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face. She’d steered him back onto the right path, he’d give her the one thing she wanted most.
Tonight was theirs. Tomorrow night belonged to their future. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Oh, she’d be pissed, but she’d get over it. It’d all work out because he’d make it work out, just like he’d made the team win games by carrying them on his back. He was a strong guy. He could handle it.
Since nothing he said seemed to come out right, tonight he’d show her how much she meant to him in the only way he knew how.
Lifting her chin with a finger, he stared down at her. The sadness in her eyes struck him like a blow to his heart. She’d accepted their fate, he hadn’t and wouldn’t. Not without a fight.
He brought his mouth down to hers. Soft and gentle, he moved his lips across hers. With feather light kisses he tasted her, breathed in the lavender scent surrounding her as it mingled with the fresh scent of the islands. Scents he’d never forget. They whirled around him like a magical spell, absorbing his cynicism and creating a soft layer of comfort and belonging. He hadn’t belonged anywhere in a long time, but he did here.
Water lapped against the pilings of the dock and rocked them gently. She opened her mouth, and he accepted the invitation. When she tried to ratchet up the desire, he held back. Tonight wasn’t about animal lust; it was about tender, sweet emotions. Holding her face between his two hands, he took his time tasting her lips, exploring her mouth, teasing her tongue. She pressed against him, wanting more just like he wanted more. Just not the kind of “more” she assumed he wanted.
He’d lower his defenses, show her how much she meant to him because the words wouldn’t do his feelings justice.
Tyler lay her down on the blanket, pushed up her sweater, unhooked her bra. Freeing her nipples, he bent to the task. She moaned underneath him as he slowly kissed his way from her neck to her nipples, like a connoisseur of fine wine, he took his time. Her soft skin felt like satin against his tongue. Her sweet scent filled his nostrils and gave him a heady thrill. Closing her eyes, Lavender wriggled and threaded her fingers through his hair. She tried to push him into something harder and faster, but not tonight. Nope, tonight was all about slow and easy.
Tonight was about them.
Tyler sought her mouth, his kisses gentle, yet powerful. She held him close. Her legs wrapped around his waist. Her heels dug into his butt. He floated on a cloud somewhere, as the dock swayed. He slipped his tongue in her mouth and explored the moist recesses.
Sliding his hands down her sides, he fumbled for the button on her jeans, unfastened it, and pulled down her zipper. She helped him out by lifting her ass off the blanket and pulling her jeans down those shapely legs of hers. He slid her underwear off and sat back on his heels. Damn, but she was a fine sight in the light of the moon.
She gazed up at him. Her eyes sparkled with a sheer joy of living. His lips kicked up into an answering smile.
“You next, jock boy.”
Tyler nodded and shucked his own jeans and underwear in a single move. He slipped the condom out of his pocket and slid it onto his rock-hard cock. He lowered his body over hers and slid his cock into her with excruciating slowness. He set a leisurely pace, determined to keep it gentle and show her what tender really felt like. He controlled his breathing at the same pace as his measured thrusts. Her walls hugged his erection, milked it, coaxed him to go faster. Tyler resisted. He stayed with the pace he’d set. Almost completely out then slide back in with deliberate, unhurried strokes. Then he’d hold himself deep inside for a beat. Or two. Or three. And start the process all over again.
He strummed her body with sensuous music like a well-played violin. He stroked her in places he’d never tried before. Her body told him all he needed to know. A thin, silken thread joined them, united them. One mind. One body. One mind-blowing natural high.
Oh, man, he’d never felt such a connection to another living being. Not like this. Her breathing became his breathing. Her needs were his wants. Her body mirrored his body. Their blood mingled and flowed in each other’s veins.
They clung to each other, heading to the stars and beyond. As he thrust a final time, and his released followed, he took her with him. They floated away, wrapped in bliss and contentment.
This was it, that thing his parents had together for so many years, that piece of life he’d assumed would always elude him. Yet, here it was.
With Lavender.
Chapter 26
Clashing Helmets
The next night Lavender opened the door to her little house. Tyler dwarfed her entryway with his size and presence. Outside, rain battered the single-paned windows, while wind rattled the walls. Water dripped down Tyler’s face and matted his hair to his head.
She couldn’t stop the huge smile on her face. She’d never been one to take sex slow and gentle, but after last night, hard and raunchy might be vastly overrated. He’d shown her a place she’d never imagined existed, swept her into an ecstasy so sensual she felt as if they’d left their bodies and the earth behind. For a moment that lasted forever, yet didn’t last long enough, she bonded with Tyler, soul to soul. She saw his hopes, his fears, his dreams, and she knew him like she’d never known anyone.
Then it was over.
And she wished that it could work, wished they could find a way to make it work. A girl shouldn’t give up on chemistry like this. And now it was her birthday and his ninetieth day, both causes for celebration and mourning. He’d be free to leave now.
Lavender threw her arms around the waist of the gorgeous man gracing her doorway. “Hi, baby, I missed you.”
He grinned, as he literally bounced on the balls of his feet. “It’s only been what a few hours or so.”
“Too long.” She sounded like a sappy teenager in the first throes of puppy love, but she didn’t give a shit.
“Happy birthday, Lavender. I have a surprise for you.”
She caught a f
licker of uncertainty in his eyes. Holding her breath, she almost expected him to drop to one knee and profess his undying love like any good prince charming. Only Tyler didn’t drop to one knee, didn’t turn into a fairy tale prince. Instead, he moved to one side.
And her prince became the worst kind of frog.
Lavender looked beyond Tyler to the man who stood behind him on her front porch. Her stomach lurched. Her knees wobbled. He heart stopped beating. She grabbed the back of the chair and froze, unable to move, to talk, to think. Still grinning and oblivious, Tyler motioned to the hesitant man at his side. The two men entered her house, uninvited. Her legs refused to function. Her voice deserted her.
The door clicked shut, sealing her inside with the man she never wanted to see again in her life, or so she told herself.
Her father.
With the exception of those few fleeting seconds at the awards banquet, she hadn’t seen him in years, except on a television screen during a football game. He looked older, more tired, sadder. A million images flashed through her brain: his laughing eyes as he told his infamously corny jokes, sitting in his lap as he read her a bedtime story, watching him roam the sidelines coaching his team, and shouting encouragement to her from the stands as she stepped up to bat.
She shut out the pleasant memories and focused on the pain of a father who’d missed her graduation, ignored her calls, disappeared from her life when she needed him most, and turned her brother against her and her grandparents.
Her next coherent thought involved murder. Tyler Harris was her intended victim.
“Happy birthday, Lavender,” Tyler announced in his big, booming voice. His grin collapsed into a confused grimace as he took note of her scowl.
“Vinnie. Happy birthday.” Brian Gerloch stepped forward, rubbing his hands on his jeans then holding his arms out to her. His fingers shook slightly. “Andy says hi. He’d like to see you.”
Forward Passes (Seattle Lumberjacks) Page 26
