Kerri could’ve kissed the woman because her house key was also in her purse in Connor’s truck. She glanced sideways at her friend and smiled her thanks.
“Okay, then tomorrow it is,” Jordan said.
And with a wave, Kerri finally headed to the exit, her breathing a little easier by the time they made it to the field of parked vehicles.
“Just so you know, I don’t have ice cream, but we can share some raspberry cheesecake yogurt,” Brandi said, brown gaze apologetic.
Thank God. Kerri couldn’t look at ice cream right now. It would only make her think about…
She inhaled and forced a smile. “Sounds good.”
Darn it, Connor.
Bad enough the cowboy crushed her heart and clipped the wings she’d just started to spread, but did he have to take away her comfort food, too?
Chapter Twenty
The grand opening of Texas Republic was a big success. Kerri and Jordan were kept busy the whole week with prep and training and promo. Which worked for Kerri. It had been a tough week. Her chest still felt like it was in a vice. And she was sad. Very sad. The loss of what could have been hit her deeper than expected. For something that had mostly been a friends-with-benefits kind of fling, she was taking their break-up hard.
So the busy schedule, and the exceptionally busy opening day, was a welcomed distraction. The turnout was a huge success, and the band had started playing an hour ago. She could hear the laughter and clapping of the costumers all the way back in the kitchen.
It felt good to be in her element again. The past few months she felt off, floundering, but now she was where she belonged. Her domain. Pans, pots, skillets, cutting boards, knives, fillets, fresh vegetables…garlic. She loved cooking with garlic.
She was at home. At peace.
But still, Connor managed to haunt. She hadn’t seen the cowboy since the fair, but his taste, his scent…and sometimes when she closed her eyes Kerri could almost feel his lingering touch. Especially in the dang pantry, her body would ache for him.
Stupid body.
Staying busy kept those feelings at bay. She went through her normal daily routine. And the world continued to spin.
Tonight was great, though. She welcomed the constant rush of orders the efficient wait staff brought her way. The two experienced assistant cooks she’d handpicked were perfect. They knew the basics of the operation, so Kerri only had to train them in the style of her cooking, and they soon established a good routine.
A two-night trial run had put the wait staff, kitchen, prep and bar staff through the paces. Kerri and Jordan had asked Kade to round up local service members and their families to act as guinea pigs in exchange for free meals.
It’d been a huge success. Not many ripples, and what little had surfaced where efficiently worked out. And a smooth opening was the product.
A tray of raw, marinated prime rib steaks was in Kerri’s hands as she made her way out into the dining room toward the open pit. It was positioned safe from the costumers, yet where they could still see, smell and watch as their meals cooked. From the reaction of the crowd tonight, the pit was a big hit.
After handing the tray to the workers manning the pit, Kerri made sure nothing was needed. Satisfied all was going well, she headed back toward the kitchen when Jordan stopped her.
“Mom and dad just arrived with the McCalls,” her sister informed, raising her voice to be heard over the band. “Come and take a break.”
Her gaze drifted to were her sister pointed, and she stiffened at the sight of Connor settling down at the big table.
Jordan pushed Kerri forward. “You have to face him sometime,” her sister said. “Might as well be where you know he’ll be civilized.”
True. It would be good to get it over with, too. The longer it took for them to bump into each other, the more apprehensive she’d become.
“Okay, but just for a minute. I need to get back in the kitchen.” She brought a smile to her lips as they approached the table.
“Kerri! Hello dear.” Her mom made to kiss her, so Kerri bent down to receive it.
“Hello.” Smile still glued to her lips, she nodded to everyone at the table, including Connor, who gave her the same response. She sat down and sipped the ice water shoved in her hand.
“Looks like you’re doing great.” Cole grasped her free hand and squeezed. “Between your cooking and Jordan’s head for business, you’ll be packing them in like this for months.”
Kerri returned his squeeze. “I hope so.” She also hoped to be in California before summer’s end.
“That’s the idea, sweetheart.” Jordan winked.
As always happened lately, when her sister looked lovingly at her husband, Kerri’s heart suddenly felt empty. Her gaze involuntarily went to Connor’s face, and she was startled to find a pair of brown eyes watching her intently.
With her pulse now cracking the sound barrier, she felt her cheeks heat despite her efforts to stop it. Crud. She really hated that he had the power to bring heat to her face…and body.
“Excuse me, Kerri,” one of the waitresses said as she approached. “But there are a few customers who asked if they could meet the wonderful cook.”
She felt her blush deepen as pride mixed with delight to brighten her mood. “Of course. Just lead the way.” She stood and glanced at her family. “Sorry, duty calls.”
Her gaze met and held Connor’s for a beat before she turned to follow the waitress. His face and posture were full of indifference, but she’d caught a flicker of heat in his eyes. Kerri’s satisfaction turned back to sadness. She wished the cowboy had had a clue.
Connor was aware of Kerri all night. Damn woman got under his skin and held tight. No matter how hard he tried not to, his gaze followed her as she made rounds to the tables before she eventually disappeared into the kitchen.
When his parents and the Masters had left, he’d moved to an empty booth with Cole to free up the big table, and they were eventually joined by Kevin and Kade. Connor deliberately sat with his back to the kitchen so he wouldn’t have to look at her. Wouldn’t have to add to the ache in his heart.
It hadn’t helped.
Damn body knew when she’d return to the dining room before he’d catch sight. Awareness rippled down his spine and spread to his groin. Shifting in his seat, he silently cursed his body for betraying his mind and heart. He did not want to be attracted to a cheating woman, a woman who’d played him not once, but twice.
Too bad his body didn’t seem to have such high standards.
“Oh great. Look who just walked in?” Cole’s sour tone brought Connor’s focus back to the room, and his gaze came to rest on the object of his brother’s dislike.
Duke Carver.
The bastard’s presence was enough to sour Connor’s stomach. Duke was probably here to see Kerri and support her on her opening night. Shit. The knife stuck in Connor’s heart sliced deeper. He still couldn’t believe she did that to him. He thought she was different. Never in a million years had he thought she’d betray him. But she had, and he wasn’t about to stick around and watch the two of them have a good laugh at his expense.
“If I had my way, I would have banned him.” Once again his brothers’ tone caught his attention.
Ban the man because of what he’d done to Connor?
The Dalton’s both turned to see who Cole was talking about then twisted back, anger in Kade’s eyes, while Kevin’s gaze was full of humor.
“Man.” Kevin grinned. “I would’ve given anything to have seen Kerri dropkick his ass into that stall.”
At the mention of Kerri’s name, Connor fastened his gaze on Kevin. His mind was trying to digest what he’d just heard when his brother spoke up.
“Serves that SOB right. I’ll tell you, if he ever tried something like that on Jordan…” Cole shook his head and his eyes darkened with emotion.
Kevin laughed. “If he tried that on Jordan, he’d still be in the hospital.”
Kade and Col
e joined in the laughter as Connor tried to get his thoughts organized into something that made sense. He had nothing.
He turned to his brother and frowned. “What happened between Kerri and Duke?”
“Nothing I can talk to you about,” Cole replied. “Sorry, bro, I promised Kerri I wouldn’t.”
Like hell. Now Connor’s blood pressure started to rise along with dread. Had the bastard turned on Kerri that night? He glanced at Kade, then Kevin. Son-of-a-bitch! They knew something he didn’t. He could see it. And neither Dalton was happy.
He grabbed his brother’s arm as Cole lifted his beer. “So help me, if there’s something I should know—”
“Oh, that’s rich.” His brother scoffed and drank his beer. “Hell yeah, there’s something. And it’s something you should’ve known without my help.”
Christ, his brother wasn’t making any sense. How many beers had Cole had?
“Duke assaulted Kerri in a stable at the fair, but she took care of him,” Kevin explained, while Cole glowered. Kevin shrugged. “She made you promise, not me.”
“What?” Jesus! Duke had assaulted Kerri? When? He’d seen them kiss, not fight. Connor felt all the blood rush to his head. “He did what?” Connor demanded hoarsely again, glaring at his younger brother.
“Don’t look at me. You apparently had the perfect opportunity to intervene, but instead, you pigheaded idiot, you walked away and left her there with him.”
He’d witnessed it?
As his brother’s words sank in, Connor’s mind went back to that night. “I saw them kissing, and all I could think was I had to get the hell out of there before I killed the prick.”
“No, you saw Duke kissing Kerri,” his brother corrected.
Connor blinked. Wasn’t that what he’d just said?
“Look, Connor, think back to it,” Kade prompted, leaning forward. “Where were Kerri’s hands? In his hair? Around his neck?”
Christ, he didn’t want to do this. Pain gripped his chest in a vice.
“Come on, Connor, think,” Kevin urged.
Kade nodded. “It’s important.”
Fine. He closed his eyes and forced himself to recall that moment and Kerri’s hands. They hadn’t been around Duke’s neck or back. They were…
“Shit…” He sucked in a breath.
“What?” Cole asked. “Where were they?”
Connor’s eyes flew open. “Down at her sides, held in Duke’s grasp.”
The bruise…Son-of-a-bitch! That was why her arm had been bruised and what she’d probably been trying to tell him.
Fuck.
It felt like someone yanked the knot tangled in his gut as the truth of that night revealed itself in his head. He slumped back in the booth defeated by his own ignorance.
Cole folded his hands on the table and glanced at him. “I can’t sit back and watch you do this anymore. Not all women are Monica. You have to learn to trust again, and until you can do that, you are going to end up alone.”
Connor knew Cole spoke the truth, and he sat there for a full two minutes without moving as the magnitude of his own actions sunk in, along with his brother’s words. He should have known better. In fact, deep down he had. Something had bothered him about that kiss, but he’d ignored it and walked away.
God…what had he done?
The words Kerri had flung at him replayed in his head. “I did nothing with Duke, but because your feelings for me are getting too strong for you to handle, you saw what you wanted to see, so you could have a means for an out.”
Ah, hell. She could be right. Maybe that was what he’d been doing all these years, so he wouldn’t get hurt. Only this time, it backfired. He got hurt anyway, and it was his own damn fault.
But worse than that…my God, Kerri could’ve been… Inhaling, he closed his eyes and grit his teeth, trying not to think about what could’ve happened to the sweet cook because of his stupidity. Doing so would drive him mad. The plain truth was, he’d walked away when she’d needed him most. He should’ve stayed. He should’ve protected her. His eyes snapped open.
He should’ve believed her.
Releasing the breath, he stared into his beer and fought hard to control the emotions whirling inside him. Never in this lifetime would he forgive himself. Jesus, he’d failed her. He’d failed her big time. Anger broke through his control, and he gripped his mug tighter. Anger for himself, for Duke, for Ashley, because it had not been a coincidence when he’d run into the blonde at the barn door right at that exact time. She’d helped the bastard. Christ. He’d fallen into a trap, all right. Their trap. Not Kerri’s.
He was such a jerk. And so was his brother.
“Jesus, Cole,” he said, his gaze snapping to his brother. “You knew this and weren’t going to tell me?”
“Of course I was. But you were drunk that night.”
“What about this whole week?”
His brother shrugged. “You were an ass. You deserved to suffer for the week.”
Kevin laughed, even Kade’s lips twitched into a grin.
Connor blew out a breath and sighed. “You’re right. I deserve a lot worse.”
“Don’t you think you should apologize to Kerri?”
His brother’s voice brought Connor’s mind back to the woman he’d hurt. For the second time. “Yes. But first, I owe Duke an overdue visit,” Connor said, and when he spotted the bastard across the room, he pushed against Cole to get out.
Kade leaned forward again. “I don’t blame you for wanting to get even with that prick, but don’t do it in here. Jordan and Kerri don’t need trouble with the police.”
“Especially on the night of their grand opening,” Cole added before picking up the pitcher and refilling everyone’s mugs.
Connor nodded and lifted his glass. “Fine. I won’t do anything to him.” He took a long swallow of beer. “At least, not in here.”
He saw Cole exchange a glance with the Daltons, no doubt worried about the vehemence in his voice. Connor didn’t care. He was most definitely going to have a talk with Carver, later. Right now, he had more important things to take care of. He had to apologize to Kerri. Again. He rubbed at the ache in his chest. God, he needed to apologize to her, to own up to his biggest failure, plead for forgiveness, although he didn’t deserve squat.
Connor avoided Duke by remaining in his seat, talking about the calves that had been born that week, and the stallions he and Kade had bought. Conversation he normally enjoyed. Not tonight. Tonight it felt insignificant. Unimportant. It was just a means to help bide his time while he waited for the kitchen to close so he could finally talk to Kerri alone.
He didn’t expect her to be receptive or to take him back. God, he would never ask her to. She deserved so much better. Someone with a clear head on his shoulders, who didn’t jump to conclusions. Someone who had faith. Trust. And that wasn’t him. At least, not yet.
Christ. He would never, ever forgive himself for leaving her with Duke. For saying what he’d said to her. His insides burned with disgust. And he doubted the burning would ever stop.
I left her there with Duke…
It’s a wonder she didn’t hate him. He wouldn’t blame her if she did.
As Jordan approach and most of the kitchen staff came out to enjoy the music, Connor knew that the time had come.
He left the booth and found her alone by the sink, wiping the counter. He cleared his throat and she jumped.
“Oh, Connor, you startled me.” She glanced at him quickly, but didn’t hold his gaze, just turned back to her task.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to.” He slowly made his way to where she stood, wiping and re-wiping an already spotless counter, and he cursed himself for causing this awkwardness. “I just wanted to talk to you for a minute.”
She stopped what she was doing and turned to face him, never quite making eye contact. “What’s up?”
“I…It seems…” He swiped the hat from his head and played with the brim as he cleared his throat again.
“It seems I owe you another apology.”
She remained silent, but raised an eyebrow, so he continued. “I’m sorry I was such a jerk at the fair. That I jumped to the wrong conclusion…again. But most of all,” he walked over to her, placed his hat down on the counter and put his hands on her shoulders and squeezed, until she finally met his gaze. “I am so sorry, Kerri, for leaving you in the barn with that…that…”
Anger resurfaced, and he fought to hold back on the bad language that threatened to spill. The thought of all the things that could have happened to her tore at his gut and tormented his mind.
It must’ve shown in his eyes because she placed her hands on top of his, and stared at him with understanding.
God, how could she possibly look at him with anything but contempt?
“Thanks, Connor,” she said. “It means a lot to me to know you don’t think I’m capable of the things you accused me of.”
He was about to make a remark, but she placed her finger to his mouth to silence him. It did that, and a whole hell of a lot more, as the feel of her flesh touching his lips sent a familiar shock wave through his body.
“…besides, I took care of Duke, so you don’t have to worry about him.” She smirked.
Agony tightened the invisible vice around his chest. “Kerri, I swear to God, if that bastard hurt you because of my stupidity…”
He crushed her close and closed his eyes, trying to convey what he couldn’t say. Words escaped him. She deserved the words, but they wouldn’t come. He promised himself, then and there, he was going to leave her alone. Just stay away from her. Forget his unending need to be near her.
He’d brought her nothing but pain, and she deserved better. If it hadn’t been for him, Duke would’ve left her alone instead of using her to get revenge on him. Besides, Christ, he was so screwed up with trusting people that he’d hurt her more than Duke had.
And more than once.
How long they stood there, arms wrapped around each other, his head resting on hers, hers resting on his heart—a heart she completely owned—he had no idea. Connor only knew he needed her to be all right.
Her Unbridled Cowboy (Harland County Series) Page 26
