‘I don’t.’ She stared back at him, her face set. ‘I just want to be left alone to get on with my job.’
‘Oh, Eleanor!’ Daniel wasn’t sure why it hurt so much to hear her say that but the thought of the joyless existence it would lead to was more than he could stand. Reaching out, he grasped her by the shoulders, ‘I know you’ve been badly hurt. And I know that today of all days—your birthday—it must make it even harder, but cutting yourself off isn’t the way. You have your whole life ahead of you and you need more than work to fill it!’
Pulling her to him, he hugged her, wanting to show her what she would miss. Turning her back on love was bad enough but rejecting any offers of friendship as well was just too much and he needed to make her understand that. Her body felt so tense as he held her to him, resisting his attempts to convince her, and he groaned in frustration. He had to make her see what a terrible mistake she was making!
Whether it was that thought that spurred him on, but all of a sudden Daniel found himself bending towards her. He hadn’t meant it to go any further than a hug yet the moment his mouth touched hers, he was lost. Her lips were cool from the night air, cool and as unresponsive as the rest of her, and his heart ached all the harder. It was as though she had packed up all her emotions and thrown them away. The thought of how hurt she must have been to have done that brought a lump to his throat. If he could do just one thing then he wished with all his heart that he could set her free.
‘I think I saw your father heading towards the gazebo, Nathan.’ Sandra’s voice carried clearly on the night air. Daniel jumped as he was brought back to the present with a rush. He just had time to let Eleanor go before Nathan appeared.
‘Oh, sorry—I didn’t mean to interrupt,’ Nathan said when he saw Eleanor.
‘You didn’t. Eleanor and I were just discussing a few things,’ Daniel said, grateful for the fact that the dim lighting hid his discomfort. He didn’t dare to imagine what his son would have thought if he had found him kissing Eleanor. It would have seemed like the ultimate betrayal of his mother and Daniel couldn’t bear to think about the effect it might have had on him. The last thing he wanted was for Nathan’s world to be turned upside down at this stage.
‘You two haven’t met yet, have you?’ he said, hurrying on. ‘Eleanor this is my son, Nathan. Eleanor is covering Beth’s maternity leave,’ he explained for Nathan’s benefit.
‘Hi, there. Good to meet you.’ Nathan smiled and Daniel was relieved. Obviously, Nathan didn’t suspect that anything had been going on.
‘You too,’ she murmured politely.
Daniel felt the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention when he heard the quaver in her voice. Was she shocked by what had happened? he wondered. And yet it wasn’t shock he could hear in her voice but something else, an emotion that eluded him... It was an effort to drag his thoughts together when he realised that Nathan was saying something. ‘Sorry, what was that?’
‘Jack and the rest of the guys are going into town,’ Nathan repeated. ‘There’s a band playing at the Fox and Goose so we thought we’d check it out. Jack says I can stay here tonight so you don’t need to wait for us to get back.’
‘Fine. Just be careful what you’re doing,’ Daniel said, trying to clamp down on a familiar rush of alarm. Nathan had come a long way since the days when he had got himself into trouble, he reminded himself, and he had to trust him.
‘Will do.’ Nathan sketched them a wave then headed back to his friends. A couple of minutes later they departed.
Eleanor suddenly stood up. ‘I think I’ll go and sample the barbecue,’ she said, avoiding his eyes.
‘Good idea.’
Daniel stood up as well, at a loss to know what to do. Should he apologise for kissing her or should he ignore what had happened? The kiss had caught him unawares because he hadn’t planned on it happening... Had he?
Heat fizzed along his veins as he realised with mind-boggling honesty that he had thought about kissing Eleanor more than once in the past few weeks. Oh, he hadn’t planned it, per se. There had been no set time or date when it would happen, but the idea had started to set down roots. Kissing her on the cheek when he had visited her at the flat and then again tonight when he had wished her happy birthday had been mere forerunners to the main event. If Nathan hadn’t appeared then he would have carried on kissing her until he had received a response, until her lips had softened, warmed, kissed him back. That was what he’d wanted, of course. He’d wanted her to respond, wanted to break down her defences and admit that she was wrong to cut herself off from everyone. Especially him.
The thought hit him with the force of a physical blow. Daniel sank back down onto the bench. There had been nothing altruistic about that kiss—it had been wholly selfish. He had kissed her because he had wanted Eleanor to respond to him. But what good would it do to encourage her to rely on him? What could he offer her when he had Nathan to think about? He took a deep breath but the facts had to be faced. He could end up hurting her and that was the last thing he must do.
CHAPTER NINE
ELEANOR COULDN’T SHAKE off the memory of what had happened. Oh, she tried, she tried everything she could think of, but the taste and feel of Daniel’s mouth had imprinted itself into her consciousness. Finally, at four a.m. she got up and made herself a cup of tea, hoping that the age-old panacea would help her put it into perspective. It had been a kiss, a very brief one too, not something to get worked up about. And yet there was no way she could pretend that it hadn’t had an effect on her, no way at all that she could simply brush it aside. Daniel had kissed her and if they hadn’t been interrupted then she would have responded.
Carrying the steaming mug into the sitting room, she curled up on the sofa. That was the real nub of the problem, of course—the fact that despite everything she would have responded. She could lie to herself and pretend it wouldn’t have happened but what was the point? Surprise may have held her immobile at first but she knew that she would have kissed him back and with passion too. She’d felt her desire suddenly awaken and it shocked her that she should have felt so strongly about Daniel’s kiss when she had felt so little whenever Michael had kissed her. She’d thought she had loved Michael but had she? Really? Or had it been more a case of loving the idea of having someone special in her life?
Questions rampaged around inside her head and she closed her eyes as she tried to deal with them. Had Michael sensed that something hadn’t been right with their relationship? Heaven knew, the sex hadn’t been that wonderful for him as well as her, so had she been guilty of short changing him, of driving him into Stacey’s arms through her own shortcomings? She didn’t want to believe it but she couldn’t deny it either. She had never really enjoyed sex, never experienced an overwhelming desire for intimacy. She had gone through the motions but, deep down, it had left her cold. But not tonight. Not when Daniel had kissed her. For the first time ever she had felt emotionally engaged and it scared her.
Ellie opened her eyes. She hadn’t switched on any lights and, through the window, she could see the moonlight gleaming off the surrounding hills. The scene was devoid of colour, like a photographic negative. It was a bit like how she had always felt, flat and colourless, but was it how she wanted to feel for the rest of her life? Was Daniel right to insist that she should want more, that she needed more? Was she really content to continue living this half-existence, always feeling as though she had been relegated to the sidelines rather than being centre stage?
Her head ached as the questions pounded inside it. Ellie knew that she needed to think long and hard before she reached a decision. She needed to be absolutely sure she was doing the right thing before she made any more changes to her life. After all, she had a lot to lose. The thought of suffering another humiliation was more than she could bear but that’s what she would risk if she stepped off the sidelines. Was it really
worth it? She wished she knew.
* * *
A week passed, the days zipping past at a rate of knots. The weather had changed again, becoming bitterly cold. Ellie dealt with a number of patients suffering from chest infections. Some were long-term problems, borne with a kind of weary stoicism that she came to admire. The people of the Dales were not the sort to make a fuss. Ninety-year-old Arnold Brimsdale was her final patient on the Friday morning. He came marching into the room, wheezing heavily as he sat down on the chair. A wiry old man with a full head of iron-grey hair, he fixed her with a piercing stare.
‘Morning, Doctor. I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting you before. Marie says that you’re filling in for Dr Andrews while she’s off looking after her young ’un.’
‘That’s right.’ Ellie reached across the desk and shook the old man’s hand. ‘Nice to meet you, Mr Brimsdale. What can I do to help today?’
‘Oh, it’s me chest again. This cold snap’s playing havoc with me breathing.’
‘I see from your notes that you have chronic bronchitis,’ Ellie observed.
‘Aye, that’s right.’ Arnold Brimsdale sighed. ‘Like so many lads of my generation, I took to smoking in a big way. We had no idea the damage it could cause, you see. Folk didn’t in them days. Anyway, add that to the fact that I used to work in one of the borrow pits—digging out sand and aggregates—and my lungs took a fair hammering. There was no such thing as health and safety in them days. You just got on with the job.’
‘How long did you work in the pit?’ Ellie asked curiously, thinking what a hard life it must have been.
‘Twenty-odd years, till me dad died and I decided I’d had enough.’ He shrugged. ‘You didn’t get a choice back then. Your dad decided where you’d work and that was it. But once he’d gone I left the pit and got a job on a farm. Best thing I ever done. All that fresh air to breathe instead of muck—’ He broke off and smiled. ‘Anyways, I shan’t bore you with all that, Doctor. Suffice to say that it felt as though I’d died and gone to heaven. The pity is that the years I’d spent in the pit had left their mark, although I’m better off than a lot of folk. Not so many of me pals has got to be ninety.’
‘I’m sure they haven’t,’ Ellie agreed, admiring the old man’s positive take on life. Maybe he had suffered some major setbacks but he had come through them in the end. Perhaps she could do the same?
Ellie pushed that thought to the back of her mind as she listened to Arnold’s chest. It soon became apparent that he had quite a severe chest infection, something he was prone to because of his bronchitis. She filled in a script for antibiotics and emailed it to the pharmacy so that it would be ready for him to collect before he left. He used an inhaler but she could see from his notes that he had renewed his prescription the previous month so that was covered. She saw him out, holding the door open for him. There was no doubt that he was a gutsy old man and the thought that she needed to adopt a more positive approach to life reared up again.
She sighed as she went back to her desk to clear up. At some point soon she would have to make a decision about what she was going to do, either stick to her plan to focus strictly on her career or accept that she needed more than just work to fill her life, as Daniel believed. It wasn’t going to be easy. There were advantages to both, as well as drawbacks, but she needed to make the right decision. She couldn’t bear to think that at some point she might come to regret her actions.
* * *
Daniel had steered clear of Eleanor since the night of the barbecue. The thought that he could end up hurting her, albeit unintentionally, had made him wary of spending time around her. It wasn’t difficult to keep out of her way in work; they were both so busy that it was easy enough to avoid her. Outside working hours, too, his free time was limited. Although Nathan travelled to and from college by bus, if he stayed late to take part in some sort of activity, Daniel needed to collect him. During the episode when he had run amok, Nathan had got involved in joy-riding and he had been banned from driving until he reached the age of twenty. It meant that Daniel had to ferry him here and there, but he was glad to do it, especially at the moment. It meant that he could claim, quite legitimately, that he was far too busy for a social life.
The weekend dawned, dry but cold. A field trip had been arranged for the students in Nathan’s year who were studying medieval history. They were off to York before travelling on the following day to Chester. Daniel had offered to drop off both Nathan and Jack at the college so he drove them there and left them outside the gates, waiting for the coach to arrive. It was still early and the town was just preparing for the day. Saturday was market day and the stall holders were setting up.
For some reason Daniel felt reluctant to go straight back home. There was nothing urgent that needed doing and the thought of going back to an empty house held little appeal. He decided to have a coffee then buy some local produce. One of the farms made some wonderful cheeses and he fancied some with a glass of wine that evening.
The coffee shop was just opening up and he was their first customer. He ordered a double espresso and a croissant then sat down near the window. There were a few more people about now, shoppers eager to get some early bargains. Daniel watched a harassed-looking young mum pushing a pram over the cobbles. She had a toddler with her and he was intent on running off. Daniel’s heart lurched when the child suddenly made a bid for freedom and ran into the road, straight into the path of a van that was backing up. Daniel shot from his seat and raced out of the café but before he could reach the child, a woman ran into the road and scooped him up. He could only see the back of her as she carried him back to his distraught mother so it wasn’t until she turned round that he realised it was Eleanor.
He went to meet her as she walked back across the street, taking note of the pallor of her skin. That she’d had a shock at the near-miss was obvious. Instinctively, he placed his hand under her elbow as she came to a halt beside him. ‘Are you OK?’ he said solicitously, bending toward her.
‘Daniel!’ she exclaimed, staring at him in confusion. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I was in the café when I saw what was happening. Talk about a close shave...’
‘I know.’ She shuddered, her face turning even paler. ‘I didn’t think I’d get to him in time.’
‘But you did.’ He smiled at her. ‘Let’s hope his mum puts some reins on him. He might not be so lucky next time.’
‘Don’t!’
She still looked deeply shaken and, despite every reservation he had, Daniel couldn’t leave it there. How could he simply walk away when she’d had a shock like that? Taking a firmer grip on her arm, he steered her toward the café. ‘What you need is a dose of caffeine,’ he said firmly, ignoring all the warning bells that were clanging away inside him. It was what he would do for anyone, he reasoned, make sure they took time to recover before they went on their way. However, deep down he knew that the fact it was Eleanor who needed his help made a world of difference.
‘Oh, but, you must have things to do.’ She bit her lip and he could tell that she was doing her best not to let him see just how shaken up she felt. ‘I’m fine—really I am.’
‘Then why are you trembling?’ He sighed when she didn’t say anything. ‘It’s just a coffee, Eleanor, nothing more than that. I understand how you feel, believe me.’
Ellie flushed, realising how ridiculously she was behaving. Daniel was right because it had been a shock when she’d seen the child run out into the road... Another shudder passed through her. When Daniel opened the café door and ushered her inside, she didn’t protest any more. He sat her down near the window then went to the counter. He came back a moment later, unwinding his scarf as he sat down.
‘I’ve ordered you a flat white—I hope that’s all right?’
‘Yes, fine. Thank you.’ Reaching up, she pulled off her knitted hat and placed it
on the table. Normally, she never wore a hat but it was much colder here than it was down south, plus her hair was so short that she felt the chill more acutely. Running her fingers through the short black strands, she smoothed them into place as best she could.
‘Here.’ Reaching out, Daniel smoothed down a strand of hair that had escaped her attentions then smiled at her. ‘That’s better. All nice and tidy now.’
‘I...erm...thank you,’ Ellie muttered, feeling heat well up inside her. She hurriedly unzipped her coat and shrugged it off, hoping he would attribute her heightened colour to the layers of clothing she was wearing. No way did she want him to guess that it was his touch that had caused it.
‘So what are you doing here, apart from rescuing escaping children?’ he asked after the waitress had brought over their drinks.
‘I thought I’d visit the market,’ she explained. ‘Marie said that it sells mainly local produce and I thought I’d sample what’s on offer.’
‘It’s renowned throughout the Dales for its produce,’ Daniel agreed. Picking up his cup, he took a sip of his coffee. Ellie bit her lip when she saw the sheen of moisture on his mouth as he lowered the cup. All of a sudden all she could think about was how his lips would taste if he kissed her. Would they be flavoured by the coffee, perhaps? Rich and fragrant from the aromatic beans? It was an effort to concentrate as he continued.
‘The cheese stall is exceptionally good. They sell a wide range of cheeses made by local farmers and they’d give anything produced on the Continent a run for their money.’ He laughed as he kissed his fingertips. ‘One of their blue cheeses in particular is magnifique!’
Despite herself, Ellie found herself laughing. ‘Obviously you’re something of a connoisseur. You’ll have to write down the name of it for me. My cheese buying has been confined to whatever the supermarket has in stock up till now.’
The Boss Who Stole Her Heart Page 9
