Waking Up Joy

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Waking Up Joy Page 6

by Tina Ann Forkner


  “Nanette.”

  “It’s good to see your eyes open, Sis.”

  “You’re real.”

  “I’m real.” Nanette smiled, but when I tried to smile back, my face ached a little.

  “Are you in pain?” she asked. “Should I get Doc? A nurse?”

  My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Doc and I blushed at the reminder of my secret crush. However immature, it felt good to know someone could make my heart skip, besides the unattainable Jimmy. We could be friends, I’d thought, but of course that was before my unfortunate slip, so to speak. My cheeks flooded with warmth at the humiliation of it all, but what could be done?

  “To tell the truth, I would like to get rid of this gosh darn IV. That thing is annoying.” I was free of everything, but that one darn tube. Nanette left and returned with a nurse I didn’t recognize.

  “You feeling okay?” she asked.

  “I feel like a limp noodle and my face hurts just a bit, but I’m fine.” The nurse made a mark on her clip board, said she couldn’t remove the IV yet, and left.

  “Sorry,” Nanette said. “And your face hurts because you fell on it at Momma’s funeral. Do you remember that?”

  A small laugh escaped my lips at the memory of my face planted on the church floor.

  “Yes. I remember.”

  Nanette giggled. “Don’t be embarrassed. Everyone was so excited to see you wake up they were whooping and hollering like we were at a tent revival instead of a funeral. You should have seen Thelma! She was crying the loudest.”

  “I heard her!”

  Nanette snorted a laugh. “You did?”

  “Yes. And I have news for Thelma and Peter. I heard things they said before I woke up. I’m quitting their group. No more strawberry-lemon cake for them.”

  She squeezed my hand; I let go before she squeezed it off.

  “Joy,” she said, and the tone in her voice made my face flush with doubt.

  “I did,” I said. “I heard lots of stuff.”

  She looked sad. “Let’s talk about it later. You’re probably just tired. It’s a miracle that you even survived the fall, what with that rope around your neck and—” Her voice trailed off.

  “Nanette, that’s another thing. I didn’t try to kill myself.”

  “I’m just so happy you’re okay. You were lucky.”

  “Speaking of luck—” I reached for a small length of twine she was holding in her lap. It had beads braided into it and I recognized it as the kind of charm that Momma would’ve put inside the chimney. “What’s this doing here?”

  “Ruthie found this charm in the hearth when we checked on the house. A bird nest or something fell out of the chimney and this was in it.” I joined her soft laughter. “Momma’s silly hidden charms.”

  I took a deep breath, gathering confidence from the warmth and safety of her smile.

  “Speaking of things that are hidden, Sis. I have something I need help with.”

  “Anything. What do you need? A magic carpet?”

  “I did something a long time ago, Nanette.”

  She gave me a blank look, crinkled her eyebrows.

  “Joy, we both know that Carey and I were the wild ones.”

  I bit my lip.

  “What’d you do?” She teased. “Kiss Jimmy under the magic apple tree?”

  I gave her the look that only sisters understand.

  She giggled. “Wouldn’t Fern Cornsilk have been mad if she’d known about that one?”

  “Never mind.”

  “Come on, Joy. Carey and I never really believed you and Jimmy were just friends when we were all kids.”

  “That has nothing to do with what I’m trying to tell you.” My voice, still not used to being used, cracked a little. This brought a look of compassion from Nanette.

  “Okay, Sis. What is it?”

  “I’ve lost something and I wondered if you’d help me find it.”

  She shook her head, still smiling. I could tell she thought I was loopy, and maybe I was.

  “There’s something I need to get out of the chimney. A charm. That’s what I was doing on the roof. Did Ruthie happen to find a flashlight, too? I dropped it down the chimney.”

  Her eyes grew wide and for a minute I thought we were tracking, but then she frowned. She squeezed my hand and reached out to touch my cheek.

  “What were you looking for? I thought you didn’t really believe in that luck stuff anymore.”

  “I don’t,” I said.

  “Good,” she said, patting my hand in the same way she would one of our nieces when telling them why they couldn’t go see a particular movie, because they had to be grownups first.

  “Because there are some people who would think, well, they think—”

  “That I’m nuts.”

  Her smile looked guilty. Some of the happiness I felt about waking up whooshed right out like the air in a punctured inner tube just before you sink into the swirling creek.

  Frustrated, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed.

  Nanette had her hands on my shoulders trying to get me to sit down. I gently shrugged her off. I was tired of being in bed. I was tired of being asleep. I felt like I’d been asleep for decades, and in a way I had.

  I reached down and pulled out the IV. I didn’t let on how much it hurt.

  Nanette shrieked and grabbed for a paper towel, which she pressed down on my arm to soak up the blood beading on the inside of my wrist.

  “Nanette, I want to go home. Now.”

  Shaking her head, but not arguing, she dug around in her bottomless purse and pulled out a Band-Aid and placed it where the IV tube had been.

  I stood up, straight as a soldier, and reached back to make sure I was still wearing my panties. It wouldn’t due to be mooning the poor staff in the hallways with a rump that not at all resembled the nice firm bikini-clad bottom from my younger years. I pulled the back of my hospital gown together and walked out of the room where I almost bumped into Ruthie, who stood in front of me holding a Styrofoam cup of coffee and a glazed donut.

  “Thank you, my dear.” She wore a sheepish smile that told me she’d been eavesdropping. I let go of my gown and took one in each hand.

  Nanette, who was part giggling now and part complaining, ran up behind us with her purse in one hand and my pink terry bathrobe draped over the other.

  The donut melted in mouth and tasted like holy manna from heaven. I was suddenly ravenous. I hadn’t really eaten in a whole week and one donut didn’t seem like enough.

  “This is good, Ruthie,” I said through a mouthful. “Run and get Aunt Joy another for the ride home.”

  “Do you think eating that much so soon is a good idea?” asked Nanette. “All that sugar’s liable to come right back up.”

  “Oh, Mom,” said Ruthie. “She’ll be fine.”

  The girl was having trouble keeping her grin back. It sure was good to see my niece smiling. She was even prettier than I’d remembered when I was in my coma.

  “Well, what are you waiting for?” I asked.

  Shyly, she reached out and hugged me very gingerly, so as not to spill my coffee.

  “Welcome back, Aunt Joy. I missed you.” And with that she ran off and came back with a whole box of glazed donuts that I had a sneaking suspicion might have come from the nurse’s break room. I made a mental note to send a dozen, or maybe even a cake, over to the other nurses to replace the box, but in the meantime we had to sneak past the nurses counter. We walked out shoulder to shoulder, me between my niece and sister, as quickly as we could.

  Nanette sat behind the steering wheel and started laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” asked Ruthie.

  “This,” said Nanette. “This wonderful crazy day.”

  “Well, we are Talleys,” I reminded her.

  We all three sat there saying nothing and looking out the window at the overcast sky. The sun had disappeared behind the clouds, but I didn’t care. I felt buoyed by the fact I wa
s finally again in control of my body, as much as any cursed human can be.

  “Do you want to go straight home,” Nanette asked. “Or do you want to see the boys and Carey first?”

  “Let’s go to Carey’s house first.”

  “Should I run back in and let her know you’re coming? She’ll have a fit that I didn’t call.”

  “Then they’ll catch us, Mom,” Ruthie said.

  I smiled; feeling a bit wicked after eating so many donuts in such a short period of time. I’d just been so happy to taste real food again. Like Ruthie’s innocent beauty, food was even better than I’d remembered during my coma.

  Nanette had to repeat herself before I could focus on her instead of the donuts.

  “Joy. Do you want me to call Carey and tell her we’re coming?”

  “No need,” I said. “Let’s surprise her.”

  “Aunt Joy, you’re my favorite,” Ruthie said. “But please don’t tell Aunt Carey. I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

  Oh, shoot.

  I wondered if this was a good time to confess to Ruthie that I’d found her diary—and read it—when I’d been going through some of Momma’s stuff just before I climbed up to the chimney, but that sweet look on her face made me wait. In fact, I wouldn’t tell her at all I decided, feeling smug to know I was the favorite, even if my having been in a coma might have been the reason for Ruthie’s announcement.

  Sighing, I smiled at Ruthie, promising myself not to read her diary again.

  I’m sure going to miss seeing into that girl’s heart.

  Chapter Nine

  ‡

  After we parked in Carey’s driveway, I stepped out of the car, my robe catching in the breeze. I didn’t even care if anyone saw my hospital gown. Nanette gave Carey a wobbly smile as Carey appeared on her front porch wearing a light peach sweater. That was Sis, Carey, always pretty and sweet-looking, wearing a sweater even in the summer. Three of my little nieces, Sydney, McKenna, and Jovie clung to her blue-jeaned knees, while she gripped the porch railing for balance.

  “Aunt Joy!” The girls ran and wrapped their arms around me. I smothered them with kisses.

  “Aunt Joy, why are you in your jammies?”

  “You didn’t call me, Nanette.” Carey jammed her fists into her hips. She was so skinny I wondered if it hurt. “You were supposed to call the rest of us before—”

  She paused then, and stared at me, a smile finally playing across her face, before she stepped quickly down the steps to embrace me in a gentle hug. Her eyes were glossy with tears. I knew Carey didn’t mean any harm with her bossiness, but it annoyed me.

  “What are you still doing in your robe, silly?”

  “It was a quick escape from the hospital,” I said. “I didn’t have time to get dressed.”

  “So you weren’t supposed to leave?” Carey asked, shooting Nanette a look. “Well, at least you’re warm. And I’m so glad you’re okay, Sis.” She clung again, until I gently pushed her away.

  “I do still need to breathe.”

  Carey made a big deal out of helping me up the steps, through the screened door that slapped shut behind us, past the living room littered with toys, and into the big kitchen with the large, green Formica table. Glasses of iced tea were handed out, unsweetened. I added two heaping teaspoons of sugar to mine.

  “If you keep looking at me like that, Carey, your eyebrows are going to stick up forever.”

  I noticed how poor Ruthie looked down at the shiny table top, hiding a smile, I was sure. Carey blinked, but to her credit, she didn’t fly off the handle.

  “I thought you liked your tea without sugar,” she said.

  “Yes, well, when a girl has been without sugar for a week, she learns to appreciate it more.”

  Ruthie and I exchanged a laugh. Carey and Nanette exchanged disapproving looks.

  “Don’t rush things, Joy.” Carey sounded like she was talking to a disobedient child instead of to me. “It can’t be good to have so much sugar after being on an IV for a week.”

  And you need an IV full of the stuff.

  “Too late,” Nanette said. “She’s had a bunch of donuts since leaving the hospital.”

  “Only four.” I lied. Ruthie stifled another giggle. Nanette even laughed that time. Carey, while obviously thrilled that I was no longer in a coma, was a sourpuss for the remainder of the visit. She insisted I put regular clothes on and wouldn’t let the children climb all over me, even though that was exactly what I wanted.

  “I want to go to The Greasy Wheel. I need to see my brothers, and check on how much of a mess they’ve made of the books.”

  “I’ll come along,” Carey said, herding the kids into her brown and gold station wagon.

  “I’ll ride with Aunt Joy and Mom,” Ruthie said.

  As we drove down Main Street, I leaned out the window, waving at everyone I saw. I wish I could’ve seen Carey’s face back there in her station wagon, but when I glanced back, it was hidden by her cat-eye sunglasses. Everyone waved back, of course, because that’s the kind of town we live in, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when the mayor stepped out of the diner and raised his big, dark hand, and then he made a fist and tapped his chest twice.

  I ducked down in the seat, hoping neither Nanette nor Ruthie noticed how short of breath I was all of a sudden. I was relieved when Carey honked behind us. I swiveled to see her laughing and waving us along.

  “Mom, Aunt Carey thinks we’re not going fast enough,” Ruthie said.

  “And she’s right.” I waved out the back window, the upper part of my arm flapping like a bird. I used to be insecure about that, but hey, now I’m just glad to be alive. What’s a little flappy skin?

  “Let’s get going!”

  Ruthie and I rolled our windows down, letting in the breeze.

  “Wahoo!” My sisters probably thought I was nuts, but Ruthie popped her head out her window beside me and did the same thing. I don’t have words to explain how much I love that girl. Almost like a daughter to me, she made me feel okay that I never had any kids of my own.

  “Joy!”

  “Aunt Carey’s going to be mad,” Ruthie yelled.

  “That’s what I’m hoping for.”

  I think I annoyed Nanette with my non-stop talking during the entire fifteen minute drive. I had forgotten how stunning the scenery was between Spavinaw Junction and Momma’s house and it kept reminding me of things from our childhood.

  I pointed out landmarks to Ruthie as we passed by.

  “That’s the place where Nanette changed her first flat tire.”

  “There’s where your Aunt Carey had her first kiss.”

  “Oh, isn’t that where Daddy always took us fishing, Sis?”

  And because Nanette didn’t seem to be listening, “And that’s where we used to go swimming in our underwear when we skipped school.”

  “Mom! You swam in your underwear?”

  Nanette flicked her hand as if it were nothing at all. “The only boys around were my little brothers.”

  “All except for that one time.”

  Nanette gave me a playful slap on the shoulder. “And that one time was the last time. River made sure of it.”

  “Remember how cute he was, trying to defend our honor?” Nanette smiled despite herself. We laughed, our giggles bouncing out the window with the rocking of the car along the red dirt road. When thunder rumbled and rain started to sprinkle outside, we had to roll up our window, so instead we cranked up the radio and sang country songs slightly off key.

  Once at The Greasy Wheel, the girls wrinkled their noses at the smells of oil and whatever other scents made up the odor of automotive parts and broken cars. It reminded me that I had things to do to keep the boys organized and I couldn’t help starting a mental list. River and Rory, who’d already given me loads of bear hugs that Carey claimed were bound to squeeze the life out of my frail body, once and for all, were already back to assessing a motor. They looked like two James Deans side by side, onl
y not as young. River even had a pack of cigarettes rolled up in his grease-stained white T-shirt sleeve and one of the cigarettes hanging off his lip. I am not kidding. Sometimes I think my brothers stepped off a movie screen from the fifties.

  I couldn’t have been more relieved when we finally got home and I shocked Carey and Nanette by getting down on my knees and kissing the floor.

  “Eww! Get up.” Carey tugged on my elbow and for a second there I thought she would spit wipe my mouth. I got the giggles after that. You know the kind you get when you’re a kid and you’re so tired that everything is hilarious?

  “Okay, Sis. You’re hitting the hay.” Nanette took my other elbow and my sisters helped me up the stairs, one on either side, and we left a giggling Ruthie downstairs to sweep the floor.

  “I’ve been sleeping for days,” I said.

  “Just a little rest,” Carey said.

  I lay on top of the pink and green quilt Momma had made for me, with the door opened, listening to their idle chatter carrying up from downstairs. The one thing that struck me about their conversation, was how much they talked about my “condition.”

  Great. They’re going to treat me like I’m an old tea cup when I want to go outside and run and shout—as soon as my legs get their strength back.

  The other thing I kept hearing them mention was Daddy’s ghost.

  “And you believe her?” Carey asked.

  “I don’t see why not,” Nanette said. “Everyone else thinks they’ve seen him.”

  “Well, I haven’t seen him,” Carey said. “I think you all are nuts.” But I knew she didn’t. It was no secret that Daddy never appearing to Carey was one of her biggest hurts.

  “She probably imagined it,” Nanette said, probably to appease her.

  “That and a lot of other things,” Carey said, “according to some of the nurses at the hospital.”

  I was glad when they finally decided to leave, after telling Ruthie she could stay.

  “Call us, if you think Joy needs anything,” Carey said.

  “Clean up the house for her, too,” Nanette said. “Especially get rid of all this dust. That monster of an old chimney makes the whole house dirty.”

 

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