“I feel like a red lobster,” she said, laughing. “If you take a bite out of me tonight, I’m going to scream like hell.”
The joke seemed to pass right over Frank’s head. He started straight ahead.
“I’ve told you a hundred times that you need to watch out for the sun. During this time of the year it is at its most dangerous point. The wind camouflages its real power.”
Heleen rolled her eyes.
“Yes, Dad.”
“Well, I wonder if you will still think it’s so funny later tonight.”
Surprised by his response and serious tone, she walked back inside.
“I’m going to put some after-sun lotion on it.” She waited a moment for a response but nothing came.
“Usually, I’d just put some sliced cucumber on the painful areas. According to my grandmother, that’s the best ointment for sunburn.”
It remained quiet on the balcony. It didn’t seem to matter what she said. It didn’t look like she would get a response.
She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed the lotion. While she applied it, she thought about the past two wonderful days spent in Mallorca. Because they had already been there together ten years earlier, it had seemed like the least interesting city on the list. But they had really enjoyed themselves there.
They had shopped till they dropped and had returned to the Columbus completely exhausted. There, a nice surprise was waiting for them. Their table partners were not present at dinner. After last night’s incident, they had somewhat dreaded the dinner. In the end you never knew where the conversation would go. It could go all sorts of ways, including the wrong one. They had already decided for themselves that neither one of them was going to bring up anything in particular. Should the subject come up anyway—then they had never seen Angela on the deck during their walk.
They made a few jokes about the dynamic duo; they were probably each spending the night with a different partner somewhere on the outskirts of Mallorca. This gave Frank the idea to rent a car the next day so they could stay away all day. He would show Heleen the rustic spots of the island, just as he had done ten years ago. They could eat when and where they wanted. It had been a very relaxing and fun day.
The after-sun lotion gave her some relief. Heleen’s painful skin was a souvenir of one of the best days she’s had in ages. She yawned. “I’m exhausted, honey. I’m brushing my teeth and heading straight to bed.”
An approving mumble came from the balcony. But Frank kept his back to her and made no effort to turn around and join her. She got up. The fatigue was spreading throughout her whole body. Every muscle seemed to protest against every movement she made.
She walked to the bathroom. Her mirror image showed the truth. She wasn’t getting any younger. The wrinkles around her eyes and on her forehead were becoming permanent. Apparently, at this age, you cannot go unpunished when you go around carelessly enjoying all the fun in the sun, she thought. They had taken the rental car along the shoreline. Frank had taken her to a few beautiful bay areas, which up until now had remained undiscovered by tourists. Time stood still there. They had the whole beach to themselves.
During the trip, he had pointed out the various holiday mansions, belonging to movie stars, athletes, or politicians. He had told her the same thing ten years ago and, just like she had then, she really enjoyed his stories.
They had lunch in a small fishing village. The tapas tasted fresh and delicious. The view was lovely and peaceful. No tourists. Even though just a few miles farther on the beaches were packed full of sweaty, boozing, and sleeping vacationers.
In the evening, they dined on a large rooftop terrace in the center of Palma de Mallorca. The other dining guest were all, without exception, people from the island. Some of them greeted Frank in passing or from behind their tables, usually filled with meat or fish dishes. After each greeting, Frank would turn his head to her and mumble some Spanish name and the hotel chain or travel organization the person worked for.
After the scrumptious dinner, they strolled along Mallorca’s major port, where many very impressive yachts were docked. It was striking that so few people could be seen walking on the decks of these ships. According to Frank, that was because only the crew was onboard. The owners, mainly Arabs, rarely visited their big floating toys. Nevertheless, the colossal yachts always had to look perfect. So there was always a crew onboard that kept up the daily maintenance and cleaning. While discussing the insanity of all of the extreme luxury around them, they walked back to the cruise ship.
After Heleen pulled back the duvet cover, she looked at Frank’s back again. She didn’t understand why he was still out there on the balcony. Daydreaming for long periods was not usually his style. On the other hand, it had been an unusual and special day. Maybe he was still processing all of the many impressions.
“I can hardly keep my eyes open, Frank,” she tried. “I’m totally wiped out.”
She saw him nod slowly. As if her words didn’t really sink in. But he did turn around.
“You know, Heleen, I … I need to tell you something.”
From one moment to the next, Frank suddenly had a slightly depressing, almost guilty look about him. He really does have something on his mind, she thought.
“What’s the matter?”
Her question seemed to snap him out of his strange daze. Unconsciously, he straightened his back and got his confident look back. He made a dismissive gesture showing a bit of self-mockery. He laughed, slightly embarrassed. But his eyes showed some caution.
“Nothing to worry about, sweetie. I just realized that I will have to get back to work after this fantastic holiday. Then I suddenly had a weak moment. I wish this trip could last forever.”
Heleen smiled, clearly relieved. “How sweet of you.”
Her eyes began to sting again, and her eyelids were heavy.
“Come snuggle up next to me,” she whispered. With her hand, she padded softly on the comforter.
“Soon,” he replied. “I do not know how it’s even possible, but I’m still full of energy.”
He walked to the door. “I’m going to stretch my legs for a bit and then come to bed. Go ahead: sleep. You look exhausted.”
“That’s how I feel too.”
He gave her a wink. “Keep my spot warm for me.” Without waiting for her response, he left the room.
Heleen decided to stay awake for fifteen more minutes. Five minutes later she was fast asleep.
What he had thought would be impossible happened anyway. With each step, it felt as if his feet were getting heavier. He seemed to carry an enormous load on his back, which pressed him to the ground and made walking almost impossible. He slowed his pace for a moment to adjust his breathing and shake off this invisible load. He had expected to feel a sense of relief and feel light and free.
Pull yourself together, he said to himself sternly. This is not the moment for weakness. What just happened in that room was unacceptable. Ridiculous emotional stuff.
But why do I feel so bad?
Images from the past flashed through his mind and reinforced this sudden attack on his conscious. The wedding, the dull vacations together, the complacency of homelife. He closed his eyes. His mouth had a grim expression.
“That was then, this is now,” he grumbled under his breath. He straightened his back and walked toward his new life.
7
Heleen was in a kind of twilight zone. A wonderful state of sleep in which she balanced somewhere between her subconscious and reality. She found herself alternating between being on a deserted beach somewhere along the Mallorca coast, strolling along the harbor, and back in her bed again on the cruise ship. The strange combination of daylight and artificial light began to penetrate her, which finally made her open her eyes slowly.
Automatically, she slid her hand across the duvet. Moments later, she realized that Frank was not lying next to her. She turned around immediately. His side of the bed was empty and had not been slept in.
She got up and walked to the bathroom. Empty. The first uneasy jitters went through her stomach. Where was Frank? This was absolutely not like him! He didn’t even sleep in the bed. That would mean that he had stayed away all night?
Incomprehension.
Irritation.
Quickly, she jumped into yesterday’s clothes and brushed through her hair with her hand. Outward appearances were not important right now. She had to find Frank. Before she got to the door, she suddenly came to her senses and stopped acting on her initial impulse. Check his belongings first. She turned around. Her eyes searched the room. His cell phone was on the table in the middle of the room. In the exact place where he had left it last night. She also found his wallet, with all his credit cards, passport, and cash in it. So he had left wearing only his sneakers, shorts, and a polo shirt.
While Heleen walked down the hallway, she tried to think clearly and logically. This was not an easy task. She could feel the panic rising in her. Stay calm. It was all probably a simple misunderstanding. One of those hilarious holiday stories that you could laugh about later. An anecdote to tell at parties. But then she really had to find Frank first …
She chose a central spot in the breakfast hall, where she could have the best overall view. Systematically she gazed across all the guests. It was just past seven thirty and it was crowded. Apparently most of the guests wanted to make the most out of their day. On board or in Barcelona.
After she was sure that Frank was not in the crowd anywhere, she left immediately for the promenade deck. The first sun worshippers had already nestled themselves in to the lounge chairs. Though it seemed highly unlikely to her, she carefully checked to see if maybe Frank had found himself a spot between the Johnnys and Angelas of the world. There was always the possibility that Frank had fallen asleep in one of the lounge chairs while he was gazing at the stars.
When it became clear to her that this was not the case, she slowed her pace for a moment. Suite, breakfast hall, deck. Now that the three most likely places where he could be had been checked off the list, the lingering feeling of fear became stronger. Stay calm. There’s always an explanation for everything. Must remain calm at all costs. Don’t go running around the ship like a mad woman. Think logically. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and thought about her options. After some deliberation, she decided to contact Karin. She was the hostess for the Dutch guests; they could ask her questions to and file their complaints. Undoubtedly, Karin was in direct contact with the ship’s officers. Maybe she could get them to make an announcement. Something he surely wouldn’t appreciate, but she couldn’t care less about that right now. While she held on to the idea that her husband was somewhere deep in thought and wandering on the ship, Heleen reported to the hostess.
After a series of announcements, which rang out throughout the whole ship, the captain decided to call for an extensive search onboard. Completely according to the ships regulations, they checked the lifeboats, counted the life vests and buoys, each room was searched and checked, and every nook and cranny was looked at, even the engine room was inspected. However, when it all seemed to be in vain, the captain informed the proper authorities on shore.
8
The sky over Barcelona was gray. Over the water it appeared to be even darker, making the view rather gloomy. Fitting her mood, Heleen thought scornfully. She could care less about the view. In fact there was very little left that interested her anymore at the moment.
She stared at the massive body of water from her hotel room on the fourth floor. She had been staring at the harbor and the powerful waves and whitecaps for hours now. Chaos had taken over her mind.
The past few hours had been the most hectic and frightening hours of her life. She felt like she’d been attacked and robbed. Her husband, her life. Gone. Next to her personal belongings, her dignity was the only thing she had left. However, she was beginning to doubt that too.
The longer the search continued without result, the more her nerves had gotten the upper hand. She had started shaking uncontrollably all over her body. After the captain informed her that they had not found Frank, the lights went out in her head. She had burst out crying hysterically.
The crew had taken very good care of her. There was someone by her side continually. They brought her food and drinks and tried to constantly offer her hope and encouragement. Of course they were going to find Frank, they assured her.
The captain came to check up on her and told her that a rescue mission had been started in the water. The Spanish Marine Corps had deployed in full force. With helicopters and fast boats, they combed through the entire area where Frank could be. This announcement gave her goose bumps and made it difficult for her to breathe. The steward had to do his best to calm her down.
While the evening sun slowly dropped into the water, more bad news followed. The Columbus had a tight schedule to keep. They would have to leave that night at eleven sharp. The next stop was in the South of France. As much as the captain wished he could change it, he could not divert from the schedule. She was left with only two choices: stay on board, or find a hotel room in Barcelona. A representative of the Consulate General could arrange the latter by making one quick phone call. She was staying in Barcelona.
During the longest night of her life, she had constantly stared into the distance at the miniscule dancing lights moving around in the sky and in the water. Search lights, looking for Frank. At least that’s what she told herself. At such a big distance, you could barely tell with the naked eye. What in the world had happened? Why did he need to go and get some fresh air so badly? What was it that he wanted to tell her? The questions kept coming; the answers, however, didn’t.
The ringtone from her phone interrupted her thoughts.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Mrs. Van Rijnsburg, this is Edwin Merksem from the Dutch Consulate.”
Heleen could feel how the adrenaline chased away the fatigue in her body.
“Is there any news?”
“There is news,” the man said, in a very reserved tone. “The search operation has just ended. They did not find your husband.”
She could hear how he held his breath and how he searched for the best way to formulate what he had to say.
“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Mrs. Van Rijnsburg.” He faltered for a moment. “Your husband is now officially missing.”
Part 2
9
“Hang in there, sweetheart.”
“I’m trying my best, Mom.”
Trudy van Rijnsburg hugged her daughter tightly.
“Don’t give up hope,” she whispered in Heleen’s ear. “Miracles happen.”
Heleen gently released herself from the embrace and nodded dutifully.
“I’ve never needed a miracle more than I do now.” Though it wasn’t her intention to make a cynical remark, it sure sounded like it. But the venom in her words seemed to go by unnoticed by her mother. Or maybe she just decided to leave it alone.
She opened the front door. A gust of wind howled through the hallway. This hint of autumn gave Heleen a cold chill. Her mother took two steps, turned, and gave Heleen a piercing look. Her look was a mixture of love, hope, and determination.
“The darkest hour is just before the …” Instead of finishing the sentence, she closed her eyes for a moment and gave her daughter an encouraging nod.
“The dawn. … I know, Mom. I … hope so.”
“Trust, darling. It’s all about trust.” Then she turned and walked to her car, which was parked right in front of the house. Before she got in, she waved and shouted, “I’ll call you this week.”
“Thanks for the visit,” Heleen replied. She quickly closed the door and waved at her mother f
rom behind the living room window. When the taillights were out of sight, she closed the curtains. She went to the kitchen to make coffee. She needed the sense of routine and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. The fact that it was already after ten p.m. did not matter. Since Frank’s disappearance she barely slept anyway. While she poured herself a cup, she thought back to the conversation with her mother.
With the hot mug in her hand, she walked back into the living room. The chair her mother had just been sitting in was now empty. The sudden confrontation with an empty house felt suffocating. She sat down on the couch and took a deep breath. After that hellish night in the hotel in Barcelona, she had gradually developed a kind of separation anxiety. Now, after friends and family left the house, she would become enveloped in loneliness. Sometimes it got so bad that when a dog peed in her front yard and left, she would be in tears. She knew it was totally ridiculous, but still it happened. Over and over again.
After Frank’s disappearance, her already close relationship with her mother only became stronger. They used to see each other about once every two weeks, but now it was twice a week. Usually her mother came to her. At sixty-seven years old, she was still a very vital woman in the prime of her life, and she enjoyed making the drive to Eindhoven.
Heleen smiled gratefully. She often disagreed with her mother, but she had a lot of respect for her. After the death of her father, five years ago, her mother went through a brief period of mourning, then put it all behind her and started a new life. She threw herself into her volunteer work and was out of the house now more often than she had been in the previous years. Besides the countless committees she was on, the Church also took up a lot of her time. During her marriage, the Catholic Church and all the activities that came with it had fallen to the background. Heleen’s father was far from religious, she recalled. To keep things balanced in their marriage, Heleen’s mother had compromised on this point. Something she had never complained about to her two kids. In order to have a successful marriage you had to learn to give and take, after all.
Cruise: A Thriller Page 3
