The closer I approached, the more blinding the light became. When it blocked out my ability to see anything around me, I stopped and stood still. In a moment the light faded away to focus solely on a woman in front of me. She wore a dark green dress; the same dress she had worn the last time I had seen her. Could it really be her? Each question that entered into my thoughts I doubted, but I desired more than anything that just once she would be real.
She took my hand and placed a diamond inside my palm. When I withdrew my hand to look at it the light disappeared altogether. Dyanna was also nowhere to be seen; all that remained was the shiny diamond she had given me. It was beautiful but meaningless. What significance did the diamond have? It glistened, yet no matter how long I looked at it there was nothing it revealed. I could have stood with the diamond in my hand for the entire night if it had not been for someone sneaking behind me.
Leaning over my shoulder, Alaire asked, “What do you have there?”
“I’m not sure…” I said, stroking the diamond and wondering why Dyanna had appeared with it. It was impossible; she was dead, and there was nothing that would bring her back.
“Looks like a diamond to me,” he said.
“Yes, I suppose it does. Pray tell, how did Melodie escape?” I asked, tucking the diamond inside a small pouch that hung by a thin string around the waist of my dress.
Then Alaire did something odd; he moved over to stand in front of me. Taking hold of the hand with the diamond in it, he closed my fingers around it and held on for a while longer. I noticed light highlights in his hair I had never before paid attention to. In his eyes I could see myself; my hair was tangled and knotted and my face was filthy. Even my dress and cloak were tattered up.
Releasing my hand, Alaire said, “I tried so blessed hard, and I failed. She attacked me and ran before I could react.”
“We both failed, but I think those women were working for Aldemund. There is no other explanation for how they would have known me by chance,” I replied.
“Speaking of the fiend, why did you fight? What have you and Léal gotten involved in?”
“Aldemund started questioning me, and when he asked about my staff I lost my patience,” I replied. With another thought, I said, “Why do you mention Léal?”
Alaire snorted. “He’s always one for fighting, even if there is a fight he doesn’t need to be involved in he will be. It’s the part of him I learned to hate.”
“You seem to know a lot about Léal,” I said.
“We’ve always been close. I thought you were someone he was courting?”
I snapped, “We’re not; put it out of your thoughts. Besides, what do you know about love?”
Alaire’s eyes lit up and he laughed. “Oh-ho, you think I have no experience with ladies?”
In a more serious tone he said, “I was engaged before the news arrived.”
Carefully, I asked, “Why did you not marry her?”
“Her name was Jacquette; she was different from everyone else. We worked together, but eventually we fought over everything. Magic was pulling us further apart, and there came a point when she couldn’t take any more. She said that she hated the person I was becoming, that I was the darkest force she knew.” Alaire sighed and walked over to Vinur, who was lying in the spot where I first met him.
“After that you called off the wedding?” I asked as I followed behind him in pursuit.
He stopped and turned around to face me, forcing me to stop before I bumped into him.
“The morning of our wedding day I got dressed and went to the church. I waited all day and all night, and she never showed up,” he replied, with the most sincere look.
Without being able to think of any comforting words, I chose to tell him my story. In many ways, I realized we shared the same heartbreak.
“Alas, I too have been hated for who I am. I was once betrothed, but…” I paused as he waited. Ignoring the headache pounding against my skull, I continued without holding back the ending.
“I never told him I was a Dark magician; I had always assumed he was one of us. After all, my family followed the tradition of betrothing their children by their fifth birthday. Naturally, Adam spent most of his time at home with my family, saving up money to buy our home for when we would be married. One day, however, he caught me performing magic. He was furious, and that was when I realized he was a human. He walked out of my life two years ago, and I haven’t seen him since.”
Alaire sat down in the grass and gestured for me to sit beside him. After a moment hesitation I sat down as well. We sat in silence, staring at the long road ahead of us. My migraine crept away while I relaxed. I noticed Alaire’s dark hair was cut at a precise angle, as if someone had done it for him yesterday. He was also slightly taller than me.
A breeze blew past us and his tunic waved in the wind. For the first time I saw a necklace around his neck. I attempted to see what it was, but by doing so would require me leaning closer to him.
“Why did I tell you about my past?” I asked him, as if he could make sense of my actions.
“Because everyone needs somebody to hear their story. I’ve been heartbroken too, but Celestria,” he cupped my chin with his hand. “I promise that when you find your true soul mate, you’ll know you’re destined. They will love you for who you are.”
I pulled away from him and lay back in the grass. The moon had crept up into the sky, and stars glistened around it. There was a crescent moon out, and it shone down on us in all its glory. Alaire’s answer wouldn’t help me determine my own. Could another man love me again?
“The ironic part about love is when you give your full heart to someone and then you lose them… there is nothing left to give to anyone else,” I said with my eyes closed.
For a minute there was no response, thus I determined Alaire had decided to fall asleep. Then, I heard a stick snap and thought otherwise. When I opened my eyes and turned, Alaire was sitting exactly where he had been. His hands were clasped around something; his necklace, perhaps.
“The girl you were with earlier… is that her?” Alaire questioned.
I barely grasped what he said because in my mind I reasoned with myself that Dyanna had been a figure of my imagination. Alaire had seen her? When I sat up to see who he was referring to, I realized he was correct. Dyanna was walking toward us; only this time she wore a white dress that shone as bright as the moon itself.
In a second I was running to Dyanna, not caring how foolish that seemed. Her hair appeared to be lighter than usual, and her skin was certainly the palest it had been in past times I had seen her. As I got closer I felt a violent pain in my head; the migraine increased as I continued. It was as if my mind was on fire; I fell to my knees and screamed in agony. I stopped as soon as the world around me disappeared.
A girl was running through the forest. Her golden hair bounced as she ran faster. There appeared to be someone behind her, but their appearance remained hidden; somehow I was seeing through the attacker’s eyes. The girl tripped over a log and turned to look at her pursuer, and then Dyanna's innocent and horrified face became clear. She opened her mouth, but a gloved hand covered her lips. Someone's heart beat rapidly as she shook vigorously.
“Celestria! Celestria!”
The forest was gone, but it took me several minutes to hear Alaire calling me. He was standing next to me, shaking me in an attempt to return me to reality. A hazy mist seemed to be covering everything, even Alaire. At last I responded to him.
“Are we alive, Alaire?” It seemed foolish to ask, but I could not shake off the dreaded feeling in my body that something had gone wrong.
His face was pale. “Yes, but something happened. I cannot explain it… You went running to the girl, and when I caught up to you, you were…” Alaire stopped and shuddered.
“What? Tell me,” I whispered. The original colors of everything returned to focus.
“You were not yourself. The young lady sat beside you, and your appearances seemed
to be combining. It was peculiar, to say the least. She was becoming you and you were her. I didn’t know what to do, but I cast a spell and then started calling to you. The moment I placed my hand on your shoulder the girl disappeared.”
I glanced up at the moon, and it looked no different. Apparently not much time had passed, but for me it felt as if the entire night ended and would start over again. Despite whatever pride I had, I dropped my head on Alaire’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and held onto me as I sobbed. I tried to be quiet so he would not know, but I was certain he could hear me. I cried for the sister I lost and the scary idea that someone really had attacked her all those nights ago out in the forest.
When at last I stopped crying I did not push away from him as I had in the past. Instead he helped me sit down once more, and then he rushed over to Vinur for his bag. Returning to me, he offered a cask full of water. I accepted it while my head remained down.
Lightly, Alaire said, “There is a secret I should tell you.”
I tilted my head up, but I did not look him directly in the eyes. My face was stained with tears, and I had lost too much of my dignity as it was. I nodded for him to continue. He sat down beside me and yawned.
“Though I can’t tell you much about my work with Esmour, you should know…” he paused for a moment.
“Aldemund’s name was mentioned in the work we did. Though I never personally met him, I know he is a foul man.”
“Thank you,” I murmured, drinking a sip of water.
While I desired to ask Alaire more about what other secrets he may be carrying with him, the strength to voice my thoughts no longer existed. I laid my head back on his shoulder and sighed. All the while Alaire remained silent, not questioning my feelings and not pushing me away. I tried to recall someone who had done that for me in the past, but not even my dear sister had been there during the darkest of times.
Without asking permission, I reached for the silver chain around his neck. I took his necklace out from under his tunic and stared at it in my palm. A silver cross…
He rested his hand over mine and said, “I cannot undo what led us to this place. I only wish I could ease your pain.”
“You should not have to see me like this. I’m making a fool out of myself,” I wailed, feeling childish. He was a grown man, but there I was with tears staining my cheeks and my hand clinging to the cross around his neck.
Alaire lowered his head, but silenced me.
In a whisper I asked, “Can you tell me about this?”
He glanced down at the necklace I held up to his eyes. I leaned against his chest and listened to his heartbeat, pacing slowly.
“Sometimes I forget I’m wearing it, to tell you the truth. There’s not much to say about it,” he replied.
There was a change in his tone, however. He sounded calm and relaxed, and I desired to ask him about it. I had blindly prayed to a god I knew nothing about. Perhaps the prayer was directed not to God, but to a guardian angel. Could Alaire be the man to lead me away from a sinful life? My vision blurred at the idea.
“I-I’ve never known about religion, or even faith for that matter,” I said, though I cowered as I spoke.
He squeezed my hand, and his heartbeat quickened with the movement.
Chuckling, he said, “You don’t have to believe in a god to have faith. Faith is something you can have in anyone—no matter if they are a god, goddess, or an ordinary person.”
“Who do you have faith in?” I asked while wiping my nose.
“You.”
I glanced up at him again, and he smiled at me. My jaw hung open, but I could not think of a response. During that minute I forgot about my pride and my tear painted face. Without hesitation he had spoken one word that was worth a thousand. One word that left me gasping in amazement and awe.
Alaire grinned, showing the top row of his teeth. “I have faith in you, Celestria, because you’re the one person who sees me for who I am. You are the one who can see me for who I am, not what I can never be.”
I pondered, if faith was in religion, might Alaire saving me from my sins be possible? It seemed ironic, but by being together we could change our destiny. I shivered at that conclusion, knowing I had grown too weak to fully trust anyone.
While he leaned his head against mine, I remained grasping onto the necklace. I respected him for those words, even if I had more questions about what he said. I was glad he was the man before me and not someone else. I did not need to pray tonight. I tilted my head toward his chest and cried into his soft tunic. No religion would save me, no matter how long I was on my knees. I accepted that, and blinking into his tunic I knew it was not a matter of waiting anymore.
He was my guardian angel.
Chapter Thirteen
Without a Breath
There was fog covering the road at first light. I lay in the grass, but even so I could see Alaire’s figure standing in the mist. He appeared to be staring into the distance, yet what he found interest in I could not determine. I pushed myself up and then walked over to Alaire. It was not until I stood beside him that he noticed my presence. In the mist everything was hidden, save for the faint outline of trees nearby.
Standing next to him, I tried to keep from frowning. Last night had been somewhat humiliating; I had never cried in front of a man before. Adam had never seen me cry, though there were many tears I had held back the winter night he left me. All the same, Alaire did not seem pestered by me.
“I need to find Léal to be certain he is alive. Only then will I be able to finish what I started with Aldemund,” I said as I stared out into the haze.
“You seem to forget there are two of us. Celestria, you cannot find Léal without my knowledge of his whereabouts,” Alaire answered.
Annoyed, I said, “I have not forgotten anything, but it’s not like you willingly shared the information with me.”
Just as I stepped out onto the road, Alaire grabbed hold of my arm. “Perhaps if you treated me better, I’d like to share with you. Don’t cry on my shoulder if this is what I receive in return. Let me remind you, I saved your life as everyone else watched in horror. Make no mistake, if you continue on this way I won’t risk my life for yours again. Stop acting like a child!”
The moment he let me go I began running on the road. I did not stop until I had to catch my breath and realized Alaire was nowhere in sight. Did he see me as a “child?” I was short of breath as thoughts clotted my head, but I straightened up and convinced myself there was no reason to run. What was I afraid of?
Turning around, I looked to see where Alaire was. If he hadn’t thought of me as a child before, he definitely would now. I was determined to find him, but the road was covered in fog.
Just as I was thinking I was truly lost, I saw the outline of a horse. Vinur trotted on the road at full speed, and when he finally approached me I stepped back in fear that he would not stop. His pacing slowed, and then Alaire held out his hand. I gripped it tightly, jumping onto the horse’s back.
Wrapping my arms around Alaire’s waist, I said, “How were you able to find me?”
“I know this road, and it is a long one at that. It was unlikely you would travel too far with the poor weather,” Alaire replied. He sounded calmer than before when I ran from him.
“I’m sorry…” I whispered, though over the sound of Vinur’s hooves my voice sounded like a squeak.
Alaire attempted to turn his head toward me. “Listen, I’m taking you to a man I know, and then I will seek out Léal.”
“You? Why?” I pushed aside the fact that he hadn’t heard my apology.
“You want to fight Aldemund again, but you should know by now if Léal hears of this he won’t let you do so alone,” he said.
“I need to know that he is alive. He doesn’t need to see me, and I will not say anything to him,” I argued.
Alaire laughed uneasily. “There’s something warning me you won’t be able to leave without speaking to him. Pray tell, why do you
doubt his well-being?”
“I have been having… dreams. I don’t know what they mean, but Léal appeared in one not too long ago, and it left me wondering about whatever has happened.” I let out a sigh of relief. At least someone knew about the dreams besides me now.
“Trust me; it will be for the best if we visit my friend first. Afterward, I will leave it to you to decide about seeing Léal. Agreed?” Alaire then whistled for Vinur to begin trotting once again.
“Fine…” I groaned, feeling somewhat defeated. One moment he was willing to find Léal, then the next he wanted to visit his friend. Thinking it over, my actions might have changed his mind, and there was no point in trying to convince him otherwise.
In the corner of my mind, I pondered over the previous night. Magicians were not spoken of unless they possessed great skill, and Aldemund seemed to be one as such. If he had been mentioned during Alaire’s work, might they have crossed each other’s paths without knowing it? Had it not been for Alaire I would be dead, but perhaps there was also a reason Aldemund could afford to keep me alive.
Interrupting my thoughts, Alaire said, “See the field yonder? Once we pass through it we will be in Mergental, where my friend lives.”
He pointed as if the city was nearby, but the field we were approaching looked like it stretched out for miles upon miles. Vinur’s pace was extremely slow now, though I noticed Alaire had not requested anything of him. I reached down for the pouch that held my diamond. With my other hand I scooped it up, considering the possibilities and questioning the nature of the rare but beautiful object. I opened my mouth to ask Alaire about his “friend,” yet the words did not leave my lips.
There was a sudden jolt. I grimaced as the diamond flew out of my grasp and landed on the ground, and then I too was thrown violently. In the background I could hear Vinur whinny, but I could not stand up. It felt as if every bone in my body had broke; I felt numb and my head was spinning. Looking to my left, I saw I had barely missed hitting my head on a rock. I could not understand why Vinur had acted out so violently. I laid in the field with dirt on my dress, and before I shut my eyes I felt something in my right hand. Glancing down I saw the diamond. It lay in my hand like it had never moved at all. With shaking hands, I returned it to the pouch.
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