Dred felt sick. A clap of thunder rattled the windows, and Morgaine cackled, just like a real witch should.
Dred clenched his jaw.
“Guards!” Morgaine howled. Two elderly, remnant soldiers appeared from the shadows and hoisted Dred up. “Put him in the Vermin’s Ward,” she ordered. “Only one cup of water a day. No food,” she said.
Dred spit on the floor as he was carried out. He said, “When you see him, I hope he kills you!”
“Now, snookums,” Morgaine cooed, “I know you don’t mean that.”
25 - IN WHICH ARTIE AND COMPANY ENTER THE SHRINE OF HORRORS
One by one, Artie and his knights stepped through the mysterious, inky darkness of the crossover that led to the Shrine of Horrors, where Thumb grew back to his Otherworld size. The lack of sound inside the Shrine was a lot like being underwater. They had to shout at the top of their lungs to hear each other, and as they made their way toward the sword, Artie yelled, “Everyone okay?”
They were. So far, so good.
As Artie, Kay, and Thumb approached the first paper lanterns, a single bell dinged in the distance.
And two of the lanterns stood up on little red legs!
The knights stopped. The lanterns, which were illuminated by pleasant flickering flames, were about the size of footballs. They turned toward the group. Not only did the strange creatures have legs, but faces too. Big-eyed, childlike faces with broad, toothy grins.
They looked about as frightening as, well, living paper lanterns.
The pair wobbled toward Artie, Kay, and Thumb, and Kay exclaimed, “Aw, they’re cute!”
“These are spirits too,” Thumb yelled, holding the Welsh wakizashi in front of him.
The lanterns reached Artie’s feet and pushed around his ankles like hungry house cats. “Friendly too,” Artie shouted.
Kay knelt to pet one, but as she stuck out her hand, the creature opened its mouth and snapped at her fingers.
“Hey!” Kay cried, standing up. “Bad lantern!”
And then the one around Artie’s feet opened wide and snapped at Artie’s ankle. “Watch it!” he said.
“Ignore them, lads. Let’s get the sword!” Thumb yelled.
Artie and Kay nudged the spirits aside and continued toward the hanging sword. As Erik passed a lantern, it took a crack at his ankles, and he swiftly swiped at it with Gram.
The lantern wailed like an injured animal, and to their astonishment, where there had been one lantern, there were now two.
It had multiplied.
These ran at Erik, and he instinctively swiped at them again.
He hit both, and they cried out before multiplying again. But this time, each produced two. What had begun as one lantern was now six.
“Don’t hit them!” Artie and Kay yelled together, but Erik’s mind was so clouded by the magical effects of the Shrine that he didn’t hear them and found it impossible to stop whacking lanterns.
In all the confusion, Lance shot three of Erik’s lanterns, and each of these produced four, which made eighteen!
“Stop!” Artie and Kay yelled, realizing what was happening even while the other knights seemed blind to the problem they were creating. Kay thought that maybe the Shrine of Horrors should have been renamed the Shrine of Turning Otherwise Smart Folks into Idiots. Then the bell rang three times.
Artie, Kay, and Thumb turned away from the chaos of Erik and Lance only to find all of the lanterns walking toward them!
“Forget them! Get Kusanagi!” Thumb reiterated at the top of his lungs, though it sounded like he was a mile away.
Artie and Kay followed Thumb toward the sword. Artie glanced over his shoulder and saw his friends fighting at least a hundred lanterns now. They were piling up and surrounding the knights’ legs, almost reaching their waists. The knights didn’t look to be in danger—the lanterns were nuisances, not menaces—but they definitely had their hands full. “Stop!” Artie shouted again. But it was no use.
Kay tugged on Artie’s arm. He couldn’t hear her at all now, but it looked like she was saying, “We’re not getting closer!”
She was right. They’d gone at least fifty feet since walking into this strange corner of the Otherworld, but they hadn’t gained on the sword at all.
They started to sprint. They ran twenty, fifty, a hundred feet, but still the sword stayed the same distance away.
Kay tugged Artie’s arm again and mouthed, “This! Sucks!”
As Artie agreed with a nod, they each heard a whisper in their ears. The sound effortlessly cut through the muffled silence, which was really creepy.
Making it even creepier was that it was a young girl’s voice speaking Japanese.
Artie, Kay, and Thumb spun in circles, but nothing was there—just the trees, the sword in the distance, and the other knights dealing with the lanterns.
Then the girl’s voice came again, and this time they each felt her breath drift across their ears!
When the three of them turned back to the sword, they were greeted by something they weren’t prepared for at all.
It was about six feet tall and a foot around and it was covered, from top to bottom, in long, black, silky hair. It didn’t appear to have arms or legs. In the center of its body, where a belly button might have been, was a single eye the size of a saucer, which was closed.
Artie took a step forward, and the hair thing opened its eye.
A shrill wail pierced the air, as if the eye, which was completely green, was screaming. Without dropping their weapons, Artie, Kay, and Thumb covered their ears and writhed in agony. Artie could barely think over the noise, but he had to do something. So he jabbed at the thing’s screaming eye with the end of his spear.
The noise stopped and the thing fell to the ground in a heap of black hair, as if the body underneath had disappeared.
Artie and Kay looked at each other in confusion. Thumb was saying something, but it was like his voice had been stolen.
Then their hearts sank as the hair creature rose back up—and this time, like the lanterns, there were two of them.
Thankfully they weren’t screaming. Not yet, anyway. The sword was right there, such a short distance away! But these hair monsters were proving to be pretty good guards. Thumb tapped Artie’s foot and made motions like Artie should make a run for Kusanagi even if the things screamed, just so they could get out of there.
Artie gave him a curt nod and stepped forward.
The things opened their eyes, and this time it was much, much worse. Worse than the Mont-Saint-Michel giant, Morgaine’s tornadoes, the evil boar, Lavery’s saber-toothed tigers, Mordred, the old bully Frankie Finkelstein, and an angry dragon put together. It made Kay want to run home and drown herself in Mountain Dew. It made Thumb want to stop helping everyone and live out the rest of his days alone in a woodland hut. It made Artie think that being noble was stupid and that it didn’t matter if Qwon didn’t make it.
Seconds passed as they struggled with this excruciating spell. Artie glanced at Thumb. And the strange thing was, Thumb didn’t seem to be affected anymore.
Thumb was spinning his finger through the air and mouthing some words, but Artie couldn’t understand.
He might have stood there forever holding his ears against the awful wail had the child’s voice not cut through the cacophony, this time speaking English with a thick accent. What it said was, “Turn away.”
It took a lot of effort, but Artie forced his feet to move. Slowly, he managed to get the screaming Japanese hair monsters at his back, and as soon as his body was squarely turned to them, the wailing stopped.
Not only that, but he could hear too, and Thumb was yelling, “Turn away, turn away!”
A surge of relief washed over Artie. Without moving his head he said, “I hear you, Tom. I’m all right. Let’s help Kay.”
Artie sidled to his sister, who was still frozen in agony. He took Kay by the shoulders and pushed hard, forcing her around.
Artie said, “You okay
?”
“Wow. Yeah. You?” Kay said.
“Yep.”
“Man, I never thought monsters could be so weird,” Kay commented.
“Looks like the others have figured out how to deal with their adversaries too,” Tom added.
Instead of fighting the lanterns, Lance and Erik were slowly moving away from them. There were several hundred of the things by now, but without anyone attacking, they were losing interest.
Fortunately Lance and Erik didn’t seem to have suffered the effects of the fear scream at all.
“Now that we know the trick, I guess we can get Kusanagi,” Artie said.
“Aye, lad,” Thumb said.
Very slowly they backed around the hair monsters, which didn’t move or spin to face the knights, even after they were past them. The screams didn’t return, and Artie figured that it was the eye that they’d had to turn away from rather than the monster itself.
After a few more steps, the tip of Artie’s spear knocked against Kusanagi. The impact made the same bell-ringing sound they’d heard when the lanterns woke up.
“All right, lass, cut it down,” Thumb said.
Kay swiped Cleomede through the air. The rope cut, the sword fell, and Artie deftly caught it by the handle with his right hand.
They had it!
But then one of Lance’s arrows split the air with a hiss and hit something behind them. Lance and Erik took off in their direction with wild expressions as Lance nocked a handful of arrows.
The hair monsters spun in place, their eyes thankfully closed, and executed deep and respectful bows. Then they collapsed.
A guttural rumble shook the air behind Artie and Kay.
Something was there. Something new.
Thumb yelled, “Run!”
Three more arrows flew through the air as Artie, Kay, and Thumb took off. As they ran, Artie looked over his shoulder and caught sight of what had materialized behind them.
It looked like a cross between an ogre and a samurai warrior. It had fire-engine-red skin, large yellow eyes, and two long white teeth like a walrus’s. A ponytail of thick black hair was pulled tight on the top of its head. It was hunkered down and covered in panels of bamboo armor. Its fingernails were filthy. Each foot had a single toe with a very long claw.
Resting across its thighs was a long pole with a nasty-looking sword-length blade at one end. As it sneered at Artie the creature hoisted its weapon and brought the blunt end hard into the ground. The earth shook as the creature yelled, “Kusanagi!”
Three more of Lance’s arrows flew over the Kingfishers’ heads, but the guardian moved with lightning quickness—and caught the arrows. It crushed them and threw their remnants at its feet. Then it took a step, and the ground quaked again as if the power of the mountains coursed through its body.
“Oh, sugar,” Kay said.
Artie stopped, spun, and let Rhongomyniad fly. The spear was fast and true, but its target was faster. The warrior sidestepped and lowered its shoulder while thrusting its hand into the air, catching the spear just like it had the arrows.
Then it grunted with satisfaction and smiled at Artie.
Artie smiled back as he commanded, “Rhongomyniad!”
The spear’s shaft quickly withdrew from the warrior’s grip and gave it a handful of splinters. Artie caught his weapon as the earth started to shake again.
“Let’s go, Artie!” Kay pleaded.
Artie spun toward Lance and Erik, who were readying themselves for anything. Thankfully, this time Artie, Kay, and Thumb were able to cover ground quickly and weren’t stuck on some horror-movie treadmill.
After several paces Artie glanced over his shoulder just in time to see the blade of the warrior’s weapon coming down right for him! Artie leaped sideways and the blade missed, slicing across the ground with a silvery hiss. The warrior tried to grab Kusanagi, but Artie flicked it with his wrist—it was a remarkably light and well-balanced sword—and effortlessly took off one of the creature’s fingers.
They had to get out of there. Artie slipped Kusanagi under his belt, pulled the pommel stone from his pocket, and said, “Lunae lumen,” intending to swallow his knights in a moongate, transporting them safely back to the court-in-exile.
But nothing happened.
“It won’t work inside the Shrine of Horrors!” Thumb exclaimed as the trio came to a halt next to Lance and Erik. The archer let another arrow fly, but the warrior waved its pole arm defensively and knocked the arrow down.
“Through the crossover, then!” Artie ordered.
But the way was blocked by a wall of cute but annoying living lanterns.
As they paused, the warrior bounded forward and grabbed Kay by her ponytail, snatching her into the air.
“Lance, help Erik clear that exit!” Artie ordered.
“But Kay—”
“Do it!” Artie barked. Lance reluctantly turned and headed into the lanterns. Artie glowered at the frightening warrior, Thumb at his side, and commanded, “Let go of my sister!”
Artie planted a foot and threw Rhongomyniad as hard as he could, aiming well wide of his target. The spear disappeared into the surrounding trees, and the warrior gave Artie a look that said, “That’s the best you’ve got?”
Artie called, “Rhongomyniad!” and the spear immediately boomeranged back, striking the warrior hard in the shoulder blade. With a look of shock and disgust, it reached over its body to pull the spear out, but Artie steeled himself and said fiercely, “Rhongomyniad! Come!”
The magical spear jerked forward, and the warrior made a loud, incredulous snort as the spear passed through its chest. Once free, Rhongomyniad flew to Artie and landed bloodily in his hand.
Kay had had enough. Just as the warrior brandished its pole arm to cut Kay in two, she swung Cleomede and sliced at her ponytail—which hadn’t been cut since she was seven—and the warrior’s blade whisked past the crown of her head as she dropped to the ground.
Artie couldn’t believe it. Kay had cut her hair!
“Let’s go!” she repeated as she passed Artie and Thumb and headed toward the mess of lanterns covering the exit.
When they reached the edge of the pile of lights, Lance emerged and said, “We can’t find the crossover!”
“What should we do, Tom?” Artie asked as he looked back at the guardian of Kusanagi. It hadn’t moved, but its hands were palm down and it was growling some words in Japanese.
“Oh no,” said Thumb.
Rising from the ground around the warrior’s feet were at least a dozen hair monsters. They didn’t waste any time. The first screamer opened its green eye, and the noise came loud and furious. The knights covered their ears. Artie turned his back to the monsters, thinking it would bring him silence again, but it didn’t. If anything, it made the noise worse.
But just as they felt ready to surrender, something shot out of the lanterns and flew through the air.
The kitsune!
The golden fox landed on top of a screamer, and the thing collapsed. It landed on another and another and another. The knights watched, still covering their ears in agony, as the cat-sized fox fearlessly took out every hair monster. The warrior tried to catch it but couldn’t. The fox was graceful and blindingly fast.
“Over here!” Erik exclaimed. “The crossover!”
Reluctantly turning their backs on their diminutive hero, the knights waded through the lanterns and went through the portal, leaving the Shrine of Horrors and its horrible cacophony once and for all.
The quiet sounds of the woods were like a revelation.
Artie held the monocle to his eye, hoping the kitsune would jump out behind them, give them a wink, and trot off into the woods. But it never did.
“I guess we’re not going to be able to save the little guy, huh?” Artie said, lowering the lens.
“They are all spirits of the Shrine,” comforted Thumb, who had returned to his miniature size. “I’m sure the kitsune will be fine. Probably not the first time i
t’s had to tangle with those foul creatures.”
“Fair enough,” Artie said as he held up Kusanagi. “We got what we came for and I don’t want to spend another second here. Let’s get back to the court.” Artie slipped Kusanagi under his belt and pulled the pommel from his pocket. He took a deep breath and said, “Lunae lumen.”
The pommel breathed to life, a moongate opened, and the knights stepped into the court-in-exile.
Immediately Bercilak came clanking in their direction waving the iPad. “Sire, sire! I believe you have a message!” he said a little breathlessly.
“What is it, Bercy?” Artie asked.
Bercilak clomped to a stop and handed Artie the tablet. “I’ve no idea, sire. I can’t operate it. I tried doing that swipe trick you do to turn it on, but I don’t think it likes my gloves.”
Artie passed his spear to Kay and turned on the iPad.
Two alerts popped up. While they were off getting Kusanagi, Bors and then Merlin had sent them messages. Artie read them aloud. Bors’s was first:
URGENT: Escaped from Castel, currently crossing swamp to rendezvous. Terrain is more challenging than expected. Morgaine giving chase as presumed. Have spotted two scouts, scentlocked both. Recommend meeting at rendezvous tomorrow at dawn. It is a long crescent-shaped beach and can’t be missed. See you in the morning.
TTYS,
B. le F.
PS: Q excited to see friends.
PPS: Have interesting news re Mordred.
The follow-up message was from Merlin:
Sire, received Bors’s message. I trust that mission for Kusanagi was successful. I have tried to reach Kynder to tell him of change in plan, but the network at the Library is still down. Recommend that you send for him only after you’ve reached Avalon. I will see you at the beach.
M.
Artie clicked off the iPad. “Okay. I guess we have a little time to rest.”
“And try to get in touch with Kynder,” Kay added.
“That too,” Artie agreed.
“How’s Bedevere holding up, Bercy?” Lance asked.
“The Black Knight is fine and happy to be resting in his old bed,” Bercilak said. “His kitty is keeping him company. I think if you let him, he would come with you tomorrow, but I advise against it. His wound is still tender.”
The Seven Swords Page 18
