by McKayla Box
That snaps me back.
It might be useless to physically fight him off but I still have a weapon.
I scream.
His mouth smashes into mine, his lips grinding mine closed. “Shut up,” he growls. “You know you want this.”
“Let me go!” My words are muffled.
His hands grip my sides, pressing so hard it feels like he might break my ribs.
I spit in his face and it hits him right in the eyes. His mouth curls into a snarl and he shakes his head, anger all over his face.
“You fucking little bitch,” he says. He has my arms raised, one hand pinning them in place. His other hand drifts under my skirt. “That's fine. We can go fast and rough.”
I arch my back, trying to buck him off me, knowing it’s useless.
But, miraculously, it works.
Lucas goes flying off me and suddenly I can breathe.
I gulp in air and try to scramble to my feet, desperate to get away, but I stumble and end up rolling away in the sand.
And the first thing I see is Hayden.
Hayden spins Lucas around, his fist smashing into Lucas's jaw. Lucas stumbles backward and Hayden hits him again. Lucas's head snaps back and Hayden shoves him hard to the ground.
Lucas is laying on the sand, out cold, blood leaking from his mouth.
Hayden stands over him, his chest heaving, his eyes glinting in the moonlight.
I stare at him.
His expression is murderous and he glances at me. “Are you alright?”
I start to nod, then stop and shake my head instead. Tears sting my eyes and soon they’re rolling down my cheeks. “He…he…”
Hayden crouches down beside me. His arm comes around me, gently, a soft embrace that he doesn’t force. “I know. You’re safe now.”
I collapse against him.
He wraps his other arm around me and rests his head on mine. He strokes my hair. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “You’re okay. I promise.”
I know I shouldn’t believe him.
But I do.
Chapter 21
“Thank you.”
I’m sitting in Hayden’s car, a cup of coffee in my hand. After crying in his arms for a solid ten minutes, he pulled me to my feet and guided me to a footpath that led back to the road and his car. I didn’t question climbing inside, and he drove us straight to a little drive-thru coffee hut on the south side of Playa. He ordered both of us coffees and then drove up to Cliffside Park, where we were currently parked, looking out on the ocean.
“Don’t thank me.”
“Of course I’m going to thank you,” I say. “I don’t know what would have happened if—”
“Lucas is a douche,” he says. “A total fucking douche.”
“He tried to—”
Hayden cuts me off again. “I know.”
I swallow. “Do you think he would have?” A shiver runs through me. “If you hadn’t shown up?”
Hayden sips his coffee and stares out the windshield. “I don’t know,” he finally says. “I mean, I don’t think so? He’s an ass but part of me thinks he was just messing with you, if he even knew what he was doing. The guy was wasted, man. But that’s sort of his M.O., you know? Forcing himself on girls, pushing the limits. But I don’t think he’s ever actually gone…too far.” He shrugs. “But I'm probably not the one that would know.”
“He went too far with me,” I say, thinking about how he forcibly kissed me, how he touched me.
Hayden looks to me. His expression is fierce. “Yeah, he did. I should have kicked his ass.”
“I think you did. You knocked him out cold.”
He shrugs. “I think he might have just passed out. He looked pretty wasted.”
I remember the smell of alcohol on his breath. “He was.”
Hayden is quiet for a minute. “What were you doing down on the beach?”
“What does that matter?”
“It doesn’t,” he says. “I was just wondering. I thought I saw you at the party with your friends. With Emily.”
So he saw me at the party. This is news to me.
“I…I went for a walk.”
“Why?”
Because I didn’t want to go snooping with Emily and the other girls. Because I didn’t want Charity to keep harassing me.
But, mostly, because I didn’t want to see Hayden with his arm around another girl.
I don’t say any of this.
Instead, I ask a question of my own. “Why were you on the beach?”
His answer is simple. “I heard you scream.”
“You did?”
He nods.
I think for a minute. “So you heard a scream. And you came to help.”
“No,” he corrects. “I heard you scream.”
My pulse quickens. “You knew it was me?”
He nods again.
“How?”
“’Cuz I saw you go down there.”
“You did?” I look at him. His eyes are still locked on the view out the windshield. “I didn’t think you knew I was there. I didn’t think you noticed me.”
He turns to look at me. “You thought wrong.”
“I’m surprised you came down,” I say. “Especially after the other day…”
“What, you think we get in a fight and then I’m just gonna let some guy attack you when you scream for help?”
“No, but…”
“Look, I was pissed.” He frowns. “You said some pretty shitty things to me.”
I stare at him. “I said some shitty things? Me?”
A guilty smile blossoms on his lips. “I know. I did, too.”
At least he admits it.
“I’m sorry,” he says. His hand finds mine and he squeezes it gently, which sends my stomach somersaulting. “I was pissed.”
“Me, too.” I squeeze his hand back.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Sydney.”
“I’m glad you showed up.”
“And I lied.”
“About what?”
His thumb strokes my knuckles. “About not being worth my time. About not being interested in you.” He pauses. “About only wanting to have sex with you.”
My heart is racing. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He leans toward me and I feel like I could drown in those blue eyes. “You are so worth my time. And I couldn’t pretend to not be interested in you, even if I tried.”
I just nod, because I’m not sure I can find words. Ben’s words from earlier are fuzzy in my mind. He said Hayden has dated lots of girls, that I should stay away from him, but none of that computes right now. All I can think about is what Hayden is saying to me, the tender expression on his face, the feel of his hand on top of mine.
He sets his coffee down and cups my chin, dipping his head close. His eyes search mine. “Is this…is this okay?”
Oh my god.
He’s asking permission.
To kiss me.
My heart swells, and words still escape me.
So I answer the only way I can.
I nod.
I can feel his smile when he touches his lips to mine.
Chapter 22
It’s Sunday and I’m sitting on the beach, just a few feet from where Lucas forced himself on me.
But this time, it’s daylight and I’m listening to music and soaking in the sunshine and warm breeze.
And Hayden is with me.
He picked me up from my house that morning so we could spend the day at the beach. He didn’t tell me we were coming to this particular stretch of sand.
I immediately balked when he pulled up in front of Liam Murphy’s house. “What are we doing?”
“I’m surfing,” he said as he removed his board from the roof racks. “And I assume you’ll swim or hang out on the beach. Unless you want me to teach you how to surf?”
“That’s not what I mean,” I said, shaking my head. “Why are we here? At this beach?”
“So you have good memories to
wipe out the bad,” he said simply. When I made no move to get out of the car, he walked around to my side of the car and opened my door. “It’s just a beach, Syd. A place. Come on.” He reached for my hand and gently pulled me out. “You’ll be okay. I promise.”
He was right.
Because it’s an hour later and I’m relaxed and happy. Hayden is out on the water, carving up the small sets rolling in. There are a couple of other guys out with him, waiting past the breakers for their turn to drop in.
The memories of Friday night feel like a lifetime ago.
Except for the kissing Hayden part.
That memories clings to me, as do the memories of Saturday night, when he texted me at midnight and told me he missed seeing me that day. And how he wanted to spend Sunday with me. All day.
I sigh.
A shower of cold water hits my skin and I shriek in surprise.
Hayden laughs. He’s standing in front of me, water dripping from his hair and his board shorts. “Oops.”
He props his board in the sand and drops to the empty towel next to me. His lips are wet and salty when they touch mine.
“Hey, beautiful.”
My heart jumps. “Hey.”
“My god, you’re hot.” He grins and presses his cold, wet hand on my sun-warmed thigh. “Like, literally.”
Goosebumps pop on my skin but I don’t move away. “Are you done surfing?” I ask.
He glances back out at the water. “I can be. But there’s a good south swell coming in.”
“You can go back out,” I tell him.
“You sure? You don’t mind hanging out a while longer? We can go grab lunch in a little bit.
I nod. “Go.”
He grins and kisses me again. “Half hour, tops. I promise.”
He grabs his board and heads back out to the water. Before long he’s duck diving under the waves and paddling out to the rest of the guys in the water.
I feel the sand shift underneath me and a voice says, “It’s not gonna last, you know.”
Charity crouches down next to me. She’s in running gear —short black running shorts and a light pink sports bra that shows off her slim physique. Her blonde hair is pulled into a ponytail and sunglasses hide her eyes.
I ignore her.
“Hey, bitch.” Her voice is tight. “Did you hear me?”
“No. I can't hear assholes.”
She sets her hands on her hips. “You’re new. That’s the only reason he’s interested.”
Her words echo Beckett’s, and even though they hurt, I keep my cool.
“What are you talking about?”
“Hayden,” she spits.
“How do you know he’s interested in me?”
“I know you’re here with him. I just saw you with him, you idiot.” She scowls. “And I saw the way he was looking at you Friday night.”
I smile. Hayden said he saw me at the party but I didn’t know anyone noticed him watching me. Charity clearly had.
“I just wanted to hear you say all that,” I said, still smiling. “We had a good time Friday night. After we left…”
Her scowl deepens. “He’s gonna use you. You know that, right? Use you and toss you aside, just like he’s done to every other girl.”
I remember what Ben told me about how she and Hayden used to be a couple. “Including you?”
“Oh, he’ll be back.” She glances out to the water. “I’m the best thing that ever happened to him. He just doesn’t know it yet.” She turns back to look at me. “But he will.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.”
She smiles. “You are so naïve. Let me give you a piece of advice.” She leans toward me. “Don’t fuck him yet. Because once that happens, he’ll dump your ass.” She puts a finger to her lips. “Hmm. Come to think of it, he’ll dump you if you don’t sleep with him, too. Looks like you’re screwed, bitch. You’re gonna lose him either way.”
She reaches out and tightens her ponytail and then jogs off.
It’s only then that I realize I’m clutching the edge of the beach towel I’m sitting on. I relax my fingers and try not to give any weight to Charity’s words.
Her mission in life is apparently to try and ruin mine. And she’s clearly pissed that Hayden has shown interest in me.
But as much as I try, I can’t ignore her words, especially because they are similar to what other people have said.
I look to the water and see Hayden up on his board, bouncing a little as he rides the last bit of wave before it folds in on itself. He catches me looking and grins and waves, then blows me a kiss.
Is that the attitude of a guy who’s just looking for a quick lay? If that was all he was interested in, would he have come to my rescue on Friday night, or just lined up behind Lucas to take his turn? Would he have held me and let me cry in his arms and then taken me for coffee and then asked permission before he kissed me?
Hayden waves one more time before he paddles back out.
No, I decide.
Charity is wrong about him.
Chapter 23
It’s almost eight o’clock and Hayden and I are back at Cliffside Park. But this time, we’re parked at the end of the entrance road, in a cul-de-sac that faces the cliffs.
I've spent the whole day with him. After rinsing off at the outdoor shower by the public bathroom, we got back in his car and drove a half hour up the coast to grab lunch from a favorite restaurant of his. After, we walked the boardwalk and the beach up there. Then we drove back down to Playa and, because neither of us were hungry for dinner, we grabbed ice creams from the little freezer at the Gas-N-Go. Hayden picked up a six-pack of beer, too.
“How did you get that?” I asked when he walked out with it tucked under his arm.
“What?” he said innocently.
I pointed at the beer.
He laughed. “Don’t ask questions, alright?”
The sun is gone and the streetlight we’re parked under is burned out. I’m holding a beer that’s half gone and Hayden is reaching for his second.
“You’re driving,” I remind him.
He grins. “No, I’m not. We’re parked.”
“Okay, but you will be…”
“I’m only having two,” he tells me. “And we’re not leaving yet.”
I glance at the clock display on the dash. I texted my mom earlier, told her I was out with friends. Thankfully, she didn’t ask questions, just told me to be home by ten.
“Come on,” he says, opening his door. He grabs a Mexican blanket from the backseat.
“Where are we going?”
“Someplace where we can stretch out. Look at the stars.”
A dirt trail through the pines leads to a small clearing. There’s no grass, just a bed of pine needles and ice plant bordering it.
Hayden lays out the blanket and sits down.
I sit next to him.
He puts his arm around me and sips his beer. “Look up,” he tells me.
I do, and gasp when I see the stars.
He chuckles. “Best view in town. Away from the lights, and with no trees blocking the view.” He points. “You see the Big Dipper?”
I nod.
He points. “And there’s Ursa Major.”
I squint, trying to make out what he’s pointing to. “Where?”
“See the handle on the Big Dipper? That’s the bear’s tail. Just follow it down and then to the left.”
“I think I see it.”
His head is close to mine and when he chuckles, I feel his breath on my cheek.
“Do you want to be an astronomer or something?”
“Nah.”
“So how do you know so much about constellations?”
“My mom.” He’s still staring at the sky. “And the Big Dipper isn’t a constellation. Ursa Major is but the Big Dipper isn’t. It’s an asterism.”
“A what?”
“It’s a group of stars in a constellation. So the Big Dipper is a group of stars in Ursa Major.�
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“Wow. So is your mom an astronomer?”
“No. She just liked to look at the stars.”
I notice immediately that he used past tense to talk about her.
“She doesn’t like to anymore?” I ask.
I can feel him tense next to me. “I wouldn’t know.”
I wait for him to say more. When he doesn’t, I reach for his hand. He squeezes mine so tight, my fingers hurt.
“She left a long time ago.”
“Left?”
He nods. “When I was in sixth grade. Started fucking her boss and decided she wanted to start a family with him instead of keep the one she had.” His voice is tight. “I have a brother and a sister I’ve never met.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
“Is what it is,” he says. He looks at me. “So when I said I didn’t remember you from before, it had more to do with me being pretty wrapped up in my own shit, you know?”
“No one remembers me, Hayden.” I smile. “Besides, you did remember. At least a little bit.”
“I know. But I wish I remember more.” With his free hand, he rubs my arm. “I wish I’d known you back then.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re not like any other girl I know.” He puts a finger to my lips. “And before you can argue with me and tell me how wrong I am, let me explain.”
I just shake my head. “I’m so ordinary, Hayden. There is nothing special about me.”
“Bullshit.” He cups my cheek. “You know what I see when I look at you?”
Wordlessly, I shake my head.
“I see someone who doesn’t take shit from anyone.” He smiles. “Remember last week, at Donatelli’s? When you dumped ice on Charity’s foot?”
I nod.
“No one has ever stood up to her like that. At least no girl. And then you did it again at school. Like I said, man. Fire. Fuego. You might not know it but you set this town on fire. Everyone was talking about what you did that night.”
This is news to me.
And it also explains why Charity hates me so much.
Well, that and the fact that her ex, who she clearly still has feelings for, is paying attention to me.
“I wasn’t going to just stand there and let her bully me,” I say. “Who would?”
