****
Xzion stared at his wife. It was evident she was having a hard time relaxing. Once he’d read Lorenzo’s coordinates, picking up his raised stressed level and his electrolytes completely out of whack, he knew something was bound to happen within a blink of a laser-firing eye. In that instant, he grabbed Zachary tighter and turned his head away. The boy hadn’t seen a thing, though Jayme believed him being in the room awarded him a front row seat to Trauma Lane. Normally used to death, this rocked her a bit. Jayme had sat there with blood and brain matter all over her body after Lorenzo took his own life.
Sure, she’d walked in on enough dead bodies to fill a small graveyard and she’d seen enough homicides and suicides, too. But this one really got to her. Not only because it occurred in her home, but because she remembered Lorenzo as a little boy. She said he was a real sweet kid, a cutie pie. Preacher acted like the boy didn’t even exist half the time and their mother wasn’t worth a rusty cent. No wonder all three kids grew up to be hellions.
No one deserved a life like that, and it hurt her that Lorenzo was clinging to a memory, a fantasy actually. He was trying to be something he never was. He was good at doing dirt; it was never his calling, but like so many others, he got caught in a cycle of abuse and replayed all that he had learned. He was a mixed up individual — not because of his ethnicity, but because of how he stumbled through life. While he tried to live up to other peoples’ expectations, he demanded so little of himself.
Information was found in his home revealing he was responsible for an open case detailing a missing person that worked for the government, as well. Piece by piece, the investigation revealed there was a rat in their midst, and the man paid with his life.
Lorenzo’s funeral was rather surreal. Jayme had told him there were at least one hundred women in attendance — gorgeous creatures roaming about, dropping tears from their eyes like open faucets. She’d never seen so much love for a pimp, for someone that exploited women and made them sell a little piece of their soul, one john at a time. She surmised it was the dance with the Devil versus the song playing that made all the difference.
Lorenzo was a smooth operator. With his book smarts and charisma, he used women to carve himself a better life. He was a sad soul, and Jayme admittedly hurt for him. Besides for work, she hadn’t been out of the house in weeks and Xzion was elated she agreed to this party. The house smelled of baked apples and nutmeg, a recipe for coziness. There she was, finally smiling again, enjoying herself, but when he spotted her looking reflectively through partially opened yellow rod curtains, Xzion made his move. He looked around, clasped her to his body and landed a sweet kiss on her cheek.
“You’re practically glowing tonight,” he whispered in her ear.
“It just feels so good to be with my family right now, Xzion. I had no idea my mother was planning a surprise party.” She grinned. “I hope my father doesn’t cause a scene though.”
“Well, we can only hope for the best.”
Just then, Zachary raced into the room, his arms full of Lego pieces.
“Did Grandpa give you those?”
The boy nodded happily. Xzion looked at him and his mouth dropped. Zachary had had the new Lego set for less than twenty minutes and, in that time, he’d built a replica of a Pod. Why was he surprised though? Jayme followed his eyes and gasped.
“Oh God!” she whispered, her expression turning bright red. “Hey, Zachary, do um, can you build Mommy a big teddy bear instead?”
The boy gave her a puzzled look, shrugged, and left the room to do as requested. Obviously he didn’t think a teddy bear was nearly as impressive, but that construction needed to be dismantled, a.s.a.p. Xzion laughed and shook his head.
Jayme hit him playfully. “Don’t laugh! That’s the last thing we need!”
Just then, the Reverend Knight’s hard footsteps could be heard descending the steps. In his deep, boisterous voice, he greeted everyone. As he entered the dining room, he shoved his hands in his trouser pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels, surveying the place like the King of the Castle that he was.
“Jayme,” he said, gathering her in his arms and enfolding her in a bear hug. “It is a blessing to see you.” His eyes shot towards Xzion. “Xzion…I take it you are keeping busy?” He gave the man a judgmental glance from his head to his feet.
“Yes I am. Thank you.”
Xzion’s father-in-law hated that he didn’t know exactly what his son-in-law did. He’d been sold a lie with bits and pieces of the truth infused in it like chocolate chips in a cookie, and that was that. All he needed to know, in Xzion’s opinion, was that the bills were being paid. For the rest, some relationships take time to build, though Xzion wasn’t sure his father-in-law would ever completely warm up to him. One thing however, was certain. The standoffish Reverend Knight was crazy about his grandson. Zachary was spoiled rotten by the old-timer, and it was worse than anything Aton had demonstrated to date.
Just then, a familiar voice could be heard in the distance. People instantly began to talk louder as they greeted whoever had come in. The huge smile on Jayme’s face said it all. Jayson had arrived…
****
“Ain’t this some shit,” Jayson murmured as he gripped a cup of coffee and stood close to his little sister.
Jayme chuckled and cast him a lazy glance.
“Don’t start!” she reprimanded, but mostly in jest.
He hadn’t seen his sister in several months, and missed her something terrible. The conversation they’d had over lunch a while back still troubled him and her out of the blue call for him to keep his ass in the house several weeks ago didn’t help. He trusted this woman with almost everything in him. Jayme was true blue. She was logical, a clear thinker, and had no problems facing reality. He didn’t believe what she’d told him and yet, here she stood, just like her old self, as if nothing had happened. It was a joke…right? He tossed a glance towards Xzion. The man was on the floor with his son, building something that resembled a gigantic Lego bear, and the damn thing looked pretty good.
He’s a good father. That much I know is true…
He’d kept Jayme’s secret, never revealing that she’d married a stone-cold killer. He had no idea how he’d kept such a thing to himself, but he had, because such a disclosure, even to his closest friends and confidants, could put his sister and nephew at great risk. And he hated to admit it at times, but he really liked Xzion, as odd as the man was and with all that he’d done to the world. Nevertheless, the man seemed good for her. Jayme assured that he in fact had been hired, and that the hits were over.
But it was hard to forget he’d also kidnapped his sister while the rest of the family suffered trying to find her, then finally resolved to the perception that she was as good as dead. He’d always wanted to speak to Xzion about this, to make him understand the hell he’d put everyone through, but it seemed as if it was water under the bridge now. If Jayme could forgive him, why shouldn’t he? Besides, he’d needed forgiveness in his life as well, and Lord knew their father wasn’t generous with handing out clemency and understanding.
Jayson was proud of himself despite everything he’d endured. He’d been clean for over two years. He went to his meetings regularly, kept the same job and even moved into a better neighborhood after receiving a hard-earned raise. He’d even recently met someone and couldn’t wait to get Jayme alone to tell her all about him. Just then, he heard their father clear his throat and throw a disgusted glance his way. He was preparing to make some speech no doubt.
“Oh look, Dad has decided to bestow me with acknowledgement.” Jayson rolled his eyes as he whispered in Jayme’s ear, causing her to look away, her body vibrating with restrained laughter. “What did I do to deserve such an honor from King Knight himself? Us peasants are standing in his royal court, what an honor,” he continued, making her shudder to the point that one small giggle did finally escape.
“Jayson…” his father said, the man’s expression drawn t
ight, as if he’d been sucking on a lemon all day. “I see you made it. I didn’t invite you. Jayme insisted you come.”
“Thank you for making that clear to me and everyone else standing here. Lord forbid there be a misunderstanding,” Jayson snapped.
“Okay now,” their mother interrupted. “This is a joyous occasion.” The older woman smiled, her small polka dot earrings matching her black and white dress to a ‘T’. Mama was sweet as pie, but she hated anything that resembled hurt feelings. Too late — that train had left, but he listened to her urgings all the same. “We won’t have any arguing tonight, only good times! Speaking of which…” the woman pointed at her grandson who was holding two Lego pieces, seemingly trying to weigh the pros and cons of each. “When are you going to have another baby, Jayme? You know you aren’t getting any younger.” Her mother grinned. The woman pretended to tease, but everyone knew she was serious.
“Ohhhh Mama, not that again!” Jayme smiled. “Look, Xzion and I are happy with our lives just the way they are. Zachary has our full attention, and that’s a good thing, right? Besides, I’m content with just the one.”
“What?!” Her mother gasped and gripped the top of her collar, clearly appalled by such a declaration. “You can’t be serious, Jayme. You can’t have just one child! Only children are spoiled. They can end up kinda weird, too! Just ask Nellie Johnson. You see how her son turned out.”
“At least her son is straight!” their father interjected. “Honey, I think neither of us is in any position to talk about that boy when our son is lying with men. We won’t get any babies out of him; we need to be happy with just the one grandchild we have. Men sleeping with men can’t procreate! Because it wasn’t ordained by God!”
“Theodore, not now!” his mother begged.
“It has to be right now because he is standing in my home. He is living a sinful life! I love the sinner, but I hate the sin and refuse to act like all is well!”
Jayson rolled his eyes and took a couple steps back. He could see quite clearly how this visit was going to pan out.
“I will never give up on you, Jayson! I believe you can be saved from this.”
The room grew quiet, as if the lights had been turned out. All eyes and ears were upon them — the spectacle in full swing. Jayson looked through his father, falling into a comforting daydream in which he was anywhere he wanted to be…anywhere but right there. Yes, Dad was really putting on a show.
“Let me tell you somethin’, Dad. You gave up on me when you kicked me outta this house because I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be! You can’t pray me outta being gay, just like you can’t be prayed outta being straight. Jayme,” he looked towards his sister, “I know you meant well, but it was a mistake for me to come here.” He shoved his cup into her hand and made his way towards the front door.
“No! Wait, Jayson.” Jayme turned towards their father, anger brewing in her narrowed eyes. “Daddy, look what you’ve done!”
“I’m sorry that I’ve disturbed your party, Jayme, but —”
“Forget the party, Daddy! That’s not what I’m talking about. Look what you did to Jayson!” She pointed at him as he loitered in the hallway, glaring at her, touched that she’d spoken up in his regard.
“For years, you’ve done nothing but embarrass him publicly. Even your first time meeting Xzion, you found a way to bring Jayson up into the discussion. That was highly inappropriate. You don’t even know who he is, who your son is as a person, because you are so focused on this one aspect of his life!”
“Don’t you tell me what’s inappropriate!”
Now, a crowd had gathered.
“There is nothing else to call it, Daddy. Tell me, do you know who Jayson is? What is his favorite sports team, Dad? Where does he work even? Do you know?”
Their father looked at her, flabbergasted. He’d never heard or seen Jayme light into him like that before, especially not on his account.
“Are you sinless? No!” she continued. “I’m not, and neither is Mama or anybody else walking around here. You see Jayson’s life as somehow worse because it embarrasses you. Well, that’s not his problem, it’s yours. I’m tired of this!”
“Okay now, Jayme, you’ve had your say,” their mother said to rein things in, her voice trembling.
“No really, Mama, I haven’t had my say. The only person that has consistently had their say is Daddy. For years, I sat back and said nothing in Jayson’s defense. Well, that’s over. He is a human being, he is my brother!” A tear streaked down her face. Jayson moved to comfort her, to tell her not to worry about it, but he was too late. Xzion had appeared to rub her back while she continued to speak.
“Mama has tried to get you to visit him; you wouldn’t listen to her. All you want to do is sit up in your glass house, throw rocks and look down on him. I’m not asking you to change your beliefs, Daddy. We both were raised in the same home. You were strict, and you made sure we went to church every Sunday and read our Bibles. I know all about it, and I remember the teachings.”
“Then you should know that what I say is the truth! You’re standing here yelling at me, when Jayson,” the man sneered at him, “is the one in need of condemnation. This is tough love!”
“Tough love? When did doing what you’re doing right now translate to love?! You can believe whatever you wish but —”
“They aren’t my beliefs. It’s God’s law and if you have a problem with it, Jayme, you can take it up with Him!” Their father pointed to the ceiling, as if that was where God resided — right above the reverend’s head. “And if you’re thinking I’m picking favorites, you’re mistaken young lady! I was just as disappointed in you for becoming pregnant out of wedlock, but you married the father of your child. I have a right to correct my children when you stray and if you don’t like it, that is just too bad.” The man’s lips pointed downward as he clasped his hands to his slightly protruding stomach.
“We’re not children, we’re adults making our own way and our own choices!” She shook her head, seemingly not believing what was coming out of the man’s mouth. “You’re…you’re hopeless.” Jayme pushed her way through the crowd and disappeared into the living room.
“Dad, don’t worry, I’ll be leaving soon, but let me tell you something before I go. I know Jayme has been your golden child, and I don’t fault her for that, nor am I jealous. For the most part I know she has lived up to your expectations. This isn’t about Jayme though. This is about me…and you.” He pointed to his chest. “You’ve had years to make me feel like shit and you’ve enjoyed every second of it.”
“Don’t you curse in my house!”
“You’re cursed! I call it like I see it. Just like you think it’s okay to call me everything but a child of God. You forgot that I am God’s child, and I will continue to be so with or without your permission. I know God is real. He saved me from my drug addiction. He has taken care of me when I should’ve been dead a long time ago. Who I’m attracted to doesn’t make me any less His child than you are. You go around Bible thumping, beating people over the head with your views. Your power in that church has gone straight to your head. All you care about is praise and living some façade. Well sorry, Dad, it just so happens I’m trying to live my life, and don’t think I hadn’t noticed that once I got sober, you never called to tell me you were proud of me for gettin’ clean, nothing! ’Cause it’s all about YOU!”
“I’ve heard enough of this foolishness!” his father belted.
“Let the man talk!” someone yelled out.
“You think you’ve got the monopoly on this thing called salvation, but you don’t. I’m your son!” He tried to keep his voice from juddering as he pointed to his chest. “I’ll always be your son, whether you like it or not! I’m gay, Daddy! I was gay the day I was born! I was gay yesterday, I’m gay today, and I’ll be gay tomorrow! It ain’t gonna stop, it won’t change. You can either love me now, just as I am, or love me later, but later might be too late!”
�
�Jayson!” His mother raced to him, putting her arms around his neck, holding him tight. “Baby, I love you, okay?” She put her hands on his cheeks, squeezing them hard as she drew his face towards her. The poor woman’s eyes watered. “Ain’t nothing gonna change that.”
“Mama, I know you love me, I know that you do…and I am sorry, just like I told you years ago, for all the pain I put you through regarding my drug addiction. I tried to apologize to Dad, too. But you know what? Dad was so busy looking down on me, snubbing his nose, he didn’t even see me sitting at his side, man to man, asking for his forgiveness.”
The man stood frozen, as if his tongue had been cut out.
“Jayme said she never stuck up for me, but she did. She just tried to do it lightly, and now, you’ve ruined her party because you just couldn’t stop yourself. You had to make sure all of these people knew that you didn’t approve of me, in case there were any misunderstandings, right?” He quickly wiped a tear away. “Lord forbid everyone know that Reverend Knight’s only son is a homosexual…a queer! What would they think of him, hmmm?! Would they think he ain’t raised his boy right? Would they think he was gay too or maybe that someone had molested me, and that’s why I turned out this way? Oh, what shame!” He sniffed.
“I love you anyhow, Daddy.” Jayson zipped up his jacket. “I love you, in spite of yourself. I don’t expect you to change. We’ve never spoken about this, like this. It was always the elephant in the room. Well, now you got what you wanted. It’s all out in the open, isn’t it? Jayson is your worst nightmare. No longer your child. For because of who I love, I shall never inherit the kingdom of heaven! For I, Jayson Lamar Knight, shall always be a leper upon the community, at least in my father’s eyes! Well, let me tell you something!” he hollered as he took a few steps backwards. “I have another father, and he is called God, and he stepped in when you bailed out! That’s the one thing I thank you for, Dad… is teaching me how the love of God works. Too bad you didn’t take your own teachings seriously. If it wasn’t for my faith that you instilled in me, I’d hate you as much as you obviously hate me!
The Tale of the Blood Diamond Page 34
