“Yeah. It’s been a while.”
“So, I can tell something’s on your mind. It’s been sittin’ heavy between us all day, Elijah, but if you want to fight, I’ll tell ya now, I’m tired and I gotta be up and out at the mine at daybreak and we still have the drive back to Bluefield. I don’t have it in me.”
Elijah blew out the smoke he’d just inhaled and looked at Jarrett, pinning him with a blue gaze that Jarrett had seen a million times. He’d missed the way they used to sit and talk like this. “I don’t wanna fight with you, Jarrett,” Elijah drawled. “In fact, I want to apologize. I treated you really shitty the last time you were here and long before that. When you first told me you were gay, I was really upset but it was more shock than anything else I think.”
“You couldn’t believe it,” Jarrett said.
“No, man. I couldn’t believe it. Growin’ up you were my hero, Jarrett. I never understood how a man as tough as you could like men. It made no sense to me. I denied it for a long time. I don’t know why exactly. I saw you as my hero, a big tough coal miner, a Marine—hell, you were a fuckin’ sniper, Jarrett. How was I supposed to reconcile that with the big brother I knew and worshiped all my damn life? It made me question everything, and I know this is gonna sound stupid, but it made me question everything I thought I was.”
Jarrett shook his head. “I couldn’t lie to you anymore than I could lie to myself, Elijah. I never dated girls in high school and there were probably kids who questioned my sexuality but I didn’t give a fuck because I couldn’t deny who I was. I know people talked behind my back. They even gave me shit when I worked down in the mines.”
Elijah stared at him and shook his head. “I never knew that.”
Jarrett gave him a sad smile. “There’s bullies everywhere, Elijah, but that didn’t mean I was gonna tell my little brother about it.”
“I was only two years apart from you in high school.”
“And that’s a lifetime when you’re sixteen. I didn’t complain and I hid it from you. I just got to the point where I couldn’t hang around in a Podunk mining town all my life, bein’ lonely. I saw the Marine Corps as an escape and once I became a sniper, it was even better. I knew that Uncle Sam would send me away from this place to see the world and maybe just maybe…”
“Maybe you’d find someone to be happy with,” Elijah finished for him.
Jarrett stared at him. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. I sure wasn’t gonna pretend to be someone I wasn’t and I didn’t wanna bring shame on you and Daddy and the boys. All I ever wanted was to make my family proud of me.”
“I resented you for leavin’ without explain’ it to me and then when you come home on leave that time and did explain, I blamed you for that,” Elijah said. He took another drag on his cigarette and let the smoke slowly escape as he lifted his face heavenward.
“You didn’t want to listen to how I never felt normal, like other men who dated women,” Jarrett said. “Not really. You weren’t ready to hear me out. You were mad and that was understandable.”
Elijah shook his head, taking another drag of the cigarette. He finally spoke. “That was wrong of me, Jarrett.” When he met Jarrett’s eyes again, Jarrett saw tears sparkling in them. “I guess I was really acting like a damn child and I wanted to tell you I’m sorry, Jarrett.”
“I understand, Elijah.” Jarrett reached out and squeezed his brother’s shoulder feeling the thick muscle beneath his jacket. “I might have done the same thing if our roles was reversed. Don’t really know.” They sat side by side the way they used to, letting the quiet of the night seep in. Elijah finally broke the silence.
“So, you settled down with the ATF,” Elijah said, giving Jarrett a small smile. “Never saw you as one who would actually quit the Corps and stay out. I just figured you’d retire when you were old.”
Jarrett blew out a long breath, remembering what happened in Gaza City. He still had nightmares over that one. “I quit after a shitty mission overseas and had to get out after that one. It was killin’ me inside. You have a different job in the military… mine was… killin’, and that’s all I was used for. That wears on a man.”
“Yeah, but you took up with mercenaries afterward, Jarrett. Why the hell would ya do that?” Elijah sounded downright pissed off.
“I didn’t like myself too much. I guess I was pretty much tryin’ to find a way to get myself killed. Then, somethin’ came along that made me want to live my life again.”
Elijah stared at him hard, finally canting his head toward the house. “Your partner? Is he…” Elijah hesitated before going on. “Is he the one you want to live for, Jarrett?”
Jarrett didn’t know what to say. For months now, he’d known how important Thayne was to him. He’d gone far beyond thinking of him as a work partner and he found himself terrified if he even tried to imagine living without Thayne in his life so the answer was simple really. He finally nodded.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he said, lifting his own face to stare up at the stars. “Thayne’s been a great partner—he’s saved my life at least twice—and he’s a good and decent man.” He glanced at Elijah and then smirked. “And the fact that he has a great ass don’t hurt either.”
Elijah choked on the inhale of cigarette smoke and his eyes widened comically. “See… now I didn’t need to know all that, man,” he coughed out. “A great partner would have been enough.”
Jarrett smiled, waiting for his brother to be able to breathe before speaking again. “Yeah, the answer to your question is, he’s a great partner but I also love him.” Jarrett paused. Saying it out loud was so strange. He’d been feeling it for a long time but saying it out loud was like acknowledging it to the world. The fact that he’d never told Thayne bothered him probably more than he wanted to admit. The time just hadn’t presented itself.
“Is he in love with you too, Jarrett… or do I have to kick his ass?”
Jarrett chuckled and shook his head as he smiled again. “I think he’s in love with me too. He ain’t said it but I know it and that’s what matters. We don’t need words.”
Elijah watched him for a few heartbeats before he nodded. “You were never big on fancy words, Jarrett. As long as he makes you happy and keeps you safe, that’s what matters.” They sat quietly for a long time. Jarrett was stunned the conversation had gone as well as it had. In fact, the entire day and night had gone better than he ever could have hoped it would.
“Thanks for talkin’ to me, Elijah. It means a lot,” Jarrett said after several minutes.
“Yeah, me too. We should have done this ten years ago. I missed you like hell.”
Jarrett stood up and held out a hand to Elijah who rose and took it. “I missed you too, bro.” He hugged Elijah hard.
Later that evening, as they said their final good-byes, Mark made Jarrett promise that they’d get together again to talk before they left the house to drive back. He’d told Jarrett that they had a lot to talk about and Jarrett agreed. Coming home had definitely been the best thing that had happened to Jarrett in a long time.
Chapter Six
The ride back to Pocahontas County was quiet. Jarrett insisted he drive the truck and Thayne acquiesced when he promised he wouldn’t play anything on the radio with banjos. Instead, Jarrett turned to a classic rock station and tapped out the beat of whatever song was playing on the steering wheel. About halfway back to town, Jarrett looked over and saw Thayne had fallen asleep with his head resting against the window of the truck’s cab. In sleep, Thayne was possibly even more handsome than when he was awake and Jarrett wished he weren’t driving so he’d have the opportunity to observe Thayne even more closely.
The day had gone so differently from the way Jarrett expected it would, he was still having a hard time wrapping his head around it. Until he’d seen his brothers and his father, he hadn’t realized how
much he’d missed them. It felt really strange to be able to connect with them again after so many years away. Seeing Aunt Edie was the icing on the cake. She’d come to live with them after Mama died, taking the place of her sister, and she’d sacrificed her own life to become part of theirs and seeing her again had been another healing balm to Jarrett’s heart.
Before meeting Thayne, Jarrett had been lost, drifting from one mercenary job to another, getting laid by men he didn’t respect or who wouldn’t ask too many questions. Then he’d taken a job as a bodyguard to the most frustrating and most wonderful man he’d ever met. There were many days when Jarrett had been convinced that God had abandoned him. Sometimes lying alone in a sniper nest in some cold desert, he’d let the quiet seep into him and pray that there was some purpose in what he was doing. He’d asked God to lead him out of the Marine Corps and into something else that gave him peace. Though his job at the ATF wasn’t exactly peaceful, at least he had Thayne by his side and that alone gave Jarrett everything he needed and more.
Jarrett drove until they got to the Stratford Hotel, the same one the mine CEO, Boggs, had recommended. The town was small and there weren’t a whole lot of choices, but spending the night at the Days Inn with its repulsive comforter again just wasn’t going to happen. It made Jarrett itch just thinking about it. As he drove around the crescent-shaped driveway, a valet in a red jacket and pressed black slacks came running out to greet them. Jarrett reached over and nudged Thayne. He woke with a start.
“Huh? What? Where are we?” Thayne wiped his eyes and sat up in the seat, looking at Jarrett and trying to get his bearings.
“We’re at the hotel. Come on. You can sleep in the room.”
Thayne stared at him for a minute as comprehension sank in and then he turned to look at the etched glass double doors of the hotel before looking back at Jarrett. “Okay. Better than the Days Inn.”
They got out of the truck and Jarrett handed the truck’s keys to the valet before taking the garment bag and their duffel bags out of the truck bed. Once they’d checked in and taken the elevator up to their fourth-floor room, he was happy he’d made the decision. The elevator doors opened and they stepped out to a wide hallway with a plush red carpet. The solid wood paneling of the walls was set off by tasteful artwork.
“This is nice, Jarrett.”
“I agree. Better than the Days Inn.” They stopped in front of their room and Jarrett inserted the key card. When they walked in, he was even more impressed. The room was tastefully furnished and even though there were two queen-size beds in separate bedrooms, a dining room table, and a couch, it was quite large for a junior suite. Jarrett walked into the closest bedroom, dropped his duffel onto the bed, and turned to Thayne, stepping close. “I couldn’t wait to get you alone.”
Thayne smiled, letting his duffel bag slide off his shoulder and drop to the floor, covering it with the garment bag from his other hand. He stepped even closer to Jarrett, until they could touch all along the length of their tall bodies. “I’ve been waiting for this all day, Jarrett.” He slid his arms around Jarrett and leaned up to kiss him. They were nearly the same height but they fit so perfectly, it had always felt just right. Jarrett opened his mouth to Thayne’s aggressive kisses. His lover was passionate in the bedroom and in this beautiful setting, Jarrett suddenly wanted to do whatever it took to bring out the animal in his lover. He let his tongue slide into Thayne’s mouth and Thayne moaned, obviously of a similar mind with him. Jarrett’s hands moved up under Thayne’s leather jacket, touching the long length of hard muscle of his lover’s back as Thayne did the same to him. When he finally separated their lips, Thayne’s eyes were bright with lust and desire, just where Jarrett wanted him.
“Get this off,” Thayne grunted, tugging at Jarrett’s jacket. Jarrett smiled and reached for the jacket, yanking it off and letting it slide to the floor before taking off the shoulder holster he wore. He set his gun and holster on a nearby dresser and began going at the buttons on the flannel shirt he wore, getting them undone as quickly as his fingers would move. He watched Thayne tearing at his own clothes and with every inch of skin he revealed, Jarrett’s cock got even harder. He sat back on the bed to tug at his boot laces, getting them off in record time as Thayne stooped to take his off as well. In just minutes Jarrett was naked and ready for Thayne to maul him. He wanted his aggression tonight. Jarrett couldn’t explain what had changed but for some reason, the thought of bottoming for Thayne, of being taken by him, had him even more excited.
He stood up, shucking out of his jeans and then sat back on the bed, crawling backward until he was in the center, pushing the duffel out of the way until it landed with a thunk on the floor. Thayne smiled and stalked toward the bed, putting one knee on it and then crawling over Jarrett, pressing his naked body against his as his weight pushed Jarrett into the expensive plush bedding. Fucking on this duvet was going to be nothing like the seedy motel where they’d spent last night. Tonight was going to be epic. Jarrett absently wondered how many times he could make Thayne come tonight. It was going to be fun to try to beat their record.
He slid his hands upward as Thayne began kissing him again, hearing his own moans of desire as his sexy lover sought out his tongue and played with it. Kissing Thayne anytime was fun, but when he was ramped up like this and ready to go was when Jarrett loved his mouth even more. He kissed Thayne back, meeting every thrust of his tongue with one of his own, mimicking what he wanted Thayne to do with his ass. He was going to let Thayne take him tonight which was probably a good thing since he’d done all the taking the past few times they’d fucked. There was no way on earth that Jarrett would wear out Thayne’s sweet ass but it had sure been fun trying.
Thayne ended the kiss and then began to kiss the side of Jarrett’s jaw as Jarrett lifted his chin to give him access. He loved it when Thayne kissed his neck, absolutely loved it. There was something so base and animal about lying beneath Thayne’s body and feeling him kiss down over the bullet hole scar in his neck. When Thayne’s tongue snaked out and found it, it sent shivers running through Jarrett. Thayne slid the palms of his hands up Jarrett’s arms until he was gripping Jarrett’s hands, threading their fingers together. He lifted his head and looked into Jarrett’s face.
“You gonna let me fuck you, baby?” Thayne’s voice was thick with sex and it sent another ripple of desire coursing through Jarrett. He nodded and punctuated it with an upward roll of his hips that drew another long moan out of Thayne.
“Yeah, darlin’. I need you inside me tonight.” The look in his lover’s eyes was telling. He wanted that too but since Jarrett offered himself up so infrequently, Thayne was probably surprised at his answer. “I wanna feel you. I wanna feel you take me hard and not let up on me.”
Thayne’s pupils dilated. “Jesus, Jarrett. I’ll do that for you anytime. All you need to do is ask.” He smiled wickedly and leaned down to kiss Jarrett again, keeping his fingers intertwined with his. There was one more thing Jarrett wanted—had been wanting for a long time—but it hadn’t ever been the right time to ask. Now that he’d confessed how he felt about Thayne to himself and Elijah, it was time. Still, it was hard to form the words. He hesitated.
“What is it, Jarrett?” Thayne asked, staring deeply into his eyes. “Tell me.”
“Have you ever gone without condoms, Thayne?”
Thayne frowned and glanced down at Jarrett’s lips before looking back up to meet his eyes. He loosened the grip on his hands but Jarrett tightened his fingers so that he wouldn’t let go. Thayne shook his head.
“Never. I’ve never gone bareback. Are you worried?”
Jarrett smiled up at him. “Let go of my hands. I need to touch ya.”
Thayne immediately complied and Jarrett reached for his face, cupping both cheeks as he gazed into his eyes. “I never went without ‘em and no, I ain’t worried, darlin’. I just thought if you—I mean—Jesus this
is harder than I thought it would be.” Jarrett took a deep breath before going on. “What I mean is, I want to feel you inside me—without ‘em.” He ducked his head, breaking eye contact. “I thought if ya wanna try it, I’d be open to it. That’s all.”
Thayne chuckled and reached for his chin, turning it so that he had to meet his eyes. “I haven’t been with anyone since you and I’ve been together, baby. We get tested all the time for work. I don’t want to be with anyone other than you. If you don’t have a problem with it, I don’t have a problem with it. We can do away with them if you want.”
Jarrett’s eyes closed as a wave of relief washed through him. He’d had no idea how Thayne would take it if he asked and the last thing he wanted to do was to drive a wedge between them when everything was going so perfectly. He nodded and then opened his eyes, gazing into the bright blue of Thayne’s. “I ain’t been with anyone else in a long time, Thayne, and I don’t see that happening. Yeah. I wanna feel all of you inside me—just you and nothin’ else between us.”
“That’s all you needed to say, sweetheart.” Thayne leaned down and kissed Jarrett and he felt his heart pounding nearly out of his chest. He loved this man and the urge to tell him here and now was so strong, he could barely contain it. Thayne broke their kiss and then proceeded to kiss across his jaw again. Jarrett felt a moan come from somewhere deep in his throat. Thayne’s cock was steadily thrusting against his, moving gently but firmly as their bodies slid together. Thayne kissed down over his collar bone, moving to his armpit. When Jarrett felt him nuzzle his nose against the soft hair there, a sudden shock of arousal coursed through him. Thayne hummed against the underside of his arm, and when Jarrett felt the warm wet slide of his tongue, he groaned.
“Fuck, that feels good,” he whimpered. He really didn’t think Thayne could do anything to him that he hadn’t done to him before but this was something entirely new and it was turning him on so much, he could barely stand it. Jarrett reached for Thayne’s head, sliding the fingers of both hands into his hair, dragging it along his scalp to hold him in place as Thayne hummed against him, licking through the hair under his arm, tasting him.
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