Letting his jealousy get the best of him was stupid. Letting her escape without knowing where she went was unforgivable. His heart literally hurt, felt as if it had been ripped in two and she’d somehow taken the other piece with her. Sick to his stomach, his head spinning, his entire body aching, his eyes burned…
If he didn’t know any better, he’d think he was close to falling apart and shedding a few tears.
“What did you do to Paige?” Matty asked, his gaze shrewd, his mouth curved into a frown.
“It’ll be fine,” Matteo said, hoping like hell he wasn’t lying. “She had to go out for a bit. She’ll be back.”
“I don’t believe you.” Matty crossed his arms in front of his narrow chest, reminding Matteo so much of himself, he could almost smile.
Okay, not really.
“All right, then, I hope she’ll come back. But I have to find her first,” Matteo amended. Would he find her? He had no clue where she might’ve gone. She could be anywhere.
“What did you do to her? Why did you make her leave?”
“I didn’t make her leave…” His voice trailed off when he saw Matty’s glare.
“Yes, you did! You got mad at her and made her leave. I heard you yelling. I heard her crying in her room.” Matty started to cry as well. “I want Paige back. I want her!”
Matteo watched helplessly as his son fled the room, crying the entire way down the hall until he entered his bedroom and slammed the door. The sound made Matteo flinch and he hung his head, clutching his flexing hands in front of him.
He didn’t know what the fuck to do. Always, always he knew what to do, what the right choice was. He was methodical to a fault.
But right now, this situation with Paige, he felt completely hopeless.
His cell rang and he grabbed it, devastated when he saw his mother’s number. This was the third call from her in an hour and she was the last person he wanted to talk to.
How he wished the call came from Paige. As if she would call him. He’d tried calling her multiple times, but it always went straight to voicemail and he hung up.
Like a coward.
The ringing stopped only to start again, and he cursed, then answered it with a curt hello.
“Thank God you answered. I spoke with Paige,” his mother said, her words coming in a rush.
“What? When?”
“An hour ago. I called you right after I got off the phone with her, but you wouldn’t answer.”
Matteo closed his eyes for a brief moment. Shit. Could he be more of an idiot? “What did she say?”
“She’s leaving town and going home. I tried to convince her to go back to you, but she refused.” His mother paused. He could practically feel the fire coming from her, she was so angry. “You broke her heart, Matteo. Why didn’t you believe her? Why did you accuse her of such ugly, hurtful things?”
“I didn’t accuse her of anything. I just…” He let his jealousy get the best of him. His general distrust in women, he let it escalate until it was all he could see and feel and he damaged the fragile relationship he was forming with Paige in the process.
“You implied that she had some sort of sordid affair with her old boss. Why can’t you trust her? She’s not Lucia, Matteo. Paige has been nothing but wonderful to you and to Matty. To all of us.”
“I know,” he said brokenly, his voice cracking.
“She loved you. She still loves you. You can make this better, my son. You can right this wrong. She’ll listen to you. And you love her.”
“I know, dammit, you don’t have to tell me the obvious. I don’t have time for this right now, I need to find her so maybe we can talk later.” He pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers, staving off the tears as best he could.
Yes, he wanted to fucking cry. And he couldn’t believe it. Could not believe it.
No crying, you little wimp.
Go get her. Go get your girl.
Brimming with determination, he said, “Goodbye, Moth—”
“Matteo! She’s going to take a bus home. A bus,” Claudia stressed. “Poor girl won’t even spend a few extra dollars to fly. How many days would that take anyway, traveling by bus? What state is she from again?”
“Where was she going, Mama? Tell me which bus station she’s headed to,” Matteo interrupted, suddenly frustrated and anxious to get there. “Where did she say she was going? Did she give you any clues? Any hints?”
“She said nothing as to where she was going, but since she’s taking a bus I’m sure you could narrow down where she might be, hmm? But if you’re going after her, you should let her know you can’t live without her. Tell her—”
“I don’t need you to tell me what to say to the woman I love, Mama.”
But he smiled fondly nevertheless. His mother would never stop being his mother. He knew that everything his mother had planned to say, he felt. She was right. He couldn’t go on without her. He loved Paige and he needed her in his life. So did Matty.
Matty…
“Think Stasia will take care of Matty while I go look for Paige?” He headed toward Matty’s bedroom.
“Of course, she will. I’ll call her right now for you so you don’t have to. But hurry, Matteo. I don’t know how much time you’ll have,” Claudia urged.
His heart in his gut, he paused at Matty’s door and swallowed hard. “Thank you, Mama,” he whispered. “I wish I would’ve taken your call sooner.”
“You’ll find her, Matteo. I know it.” Her voice was full of confidence. He wished he felt the same. “Now go get her.”
Ending the call, he strode into Matty’s room, his heart breaking even more when he saw his son curled up on his bed, clutching his favorite stuffed animal—a teddy bear Paige had given him—crying.
Matteo went to his son’s bed and sat, reaching out to smooth his hand over Matty’s back. “Don’t cry.”
“I want her, Daddy,” he said, his voice muffled against the teddy bear.
“I do too. And I’m going to go get her. Right now, so you must hurry and come with me so you can go stay with Aunt Stasia,” Matteo said.
Sniffing, Matty lifted his head, his puffed up face staring right at him. “You know where Paige is?”
Matteo nodded. “I think I do, but I need to go get her alone. So that means I’m going to take you to Stasia’s house and you can stay there.”
Matty nodded, his expression solemn. “I love Paige. I want her to be my mommy, but I don’t want her to leave like my real mommy did.”
Jesus. Matteo didn’t know if he could stand this any longer. “She’s not going to leave us, Matty. I’ll bring her back. I promise.”
He hoped like hell he could keep his promise to his son.
Chapter Fifteen
The New York Port Authority was huge. As in, Paige could get lost there very easily if she didn’t pay attention to where she was going. There were so many people and the place was drafty, making her wish she would’ve worn her winter coat. But like a fool she’d run out of Matteo’s place and left it hanging in the hall closet.
No way would she ask for it either, not even from Stasia or Claudia, though they could probably send it back to her. She would rather leave it there.
Like she left her heart.
Pressing her lips together, she studied the menu at one of the little cafés in the terminal, but nothing sounded good. She should probably get something in her stomach, but the bus didn’t leave for another two hours, so she still had plenty of time.
Too much time. To think, wander, worry and think some more. About Matty—how was he? Did he realize she was gone yet? Did Matteo explain what happened or was he lying to his son and claiming she only went out for a bit and would be back soon?
She hoped not. Prolonging the inevitable rarely worked and Matty didn’t deserve that. He’d dealt with enough abandonment at such an early age. Knowing that she’d abandoned him as well made her feel awful.
So she pushed the thought away. Compartmentalized i
t so she could deal later.
A muffled voice came over the intercom, announcing yet another bus departure, and she grimaced. It was hard to understand and so loud. Her head hurt, her eyes felt gritty, and more than anything, she wished she were in her bed. A warm blanket covering her, the air warm and still, an equally warm yet not-so-still man pressed next to her…
Stop it!
How was she ever going to get over him? She really wasn’t sure. It was definitely going to take time. She’d fallen in love with him, she couldn’t just shut off her feelings like a faucet or a light switch.
Sighing, she found an empty bench and sat, setting her duffle bag next to her. In an hour she would go force herself to eat. She needed to before she got on that bus. Maybe grab a latte or something to warm her bones and wake her up. If she were anywhere else, she’d close her eyes and take a nap. She was completely exhausted and the idea of riding a crappy bus for hours, days on end held little appeal.
Oh well. She’d done this to herself. Now she would have to live with her choices.
Why did that thought alone make her want to cry?
She watched as people walked by, hurrying to their destinations, all of them appearing as if they had a purpose. Somewhere to go, something to do. Whereas she was alone, with no purpose, nothing to call her own, and this time she did let the tears fall. One by one, they slid down her cheeks, dropping onto her sweater, but she didn’t care. Didn’t bother wiping them away either. She left her shame and her sadness and her utter devastation on display for all the Port Authority to see.
“Paige?”
Closing her eyes, she shook her head, a little laugh escaping her. Now she’d gone and done it. She was hearing his voice. As if he were really here with her. Great. She’d lost her freaking mind. Her parents would probably send her to extensive therapy or worse, lock her up in a mental institution the minute she arrived home.
She’d completely cracked.
“Paige.” Someone touched her and a bolt of electricity shot through her. Firm, strong fingers wrapped around her shoulder and gave her a little shake. “Open your eyes. Are you okay?”
She cracked open her lids to find him standing before her, gorgeous in a long black wool coat, still wearing a suit though it was rumpled, and he looked a bit of a mess. And the usual impeccable tie was long gone. The haggard expression on Matteo’s face should’ve made her feel better since she was wearing a matching one, but instead she felt incredibly guilty. She was the one who put that look on his face. His worry for her was obvious.
But he drove you away. Never forget that.
Paige shoved the nagging little voice inside her head firmly away.
“What are you doing here?” she croaked, moistening her lips with her tongue. Her mouth felt dry, her head foggy, and her lids were so heavy she was almost afraid she might pass out.
“Looking for you. Ready to beg you for forgiveness.” Reaching out, he settled his hands on her knees and knelt before her. “I can’t believe I found you.”
“I—I can’t believe you found me either.” She shook her head, trying to clear the fuzziness from her brain. Blinking, she brought Matteo into somewhat clear focus, her entire body swaying toward his. “Why did you come looking for me? I thought you hated me.”
“I can’t hate you.” He squeezed her knees. “I’m in love with you. You’re the one who ran away.”
“Because you’re the one who didn’t believe me.” An announcement came over the loudspeaker, drawing her attention, and she frowned. “Was that my bus? No, I don’t leave for a few hours.”
“You’re not leaving, period. I won’t let you.” His voice was firm, his gaze dark and directed solely on her.
“You can’t boss me around anymore, Matteo. I don’t work for you any longer.” She tilted her head back and closed her eyes. Her head felt like it was spinning. “Go away. I don’t want you here. Leave me alone.”
“Paige. Paige?” He shook her legs. “Are you all right?”
His voice grew distant, almost muffled and she preferred it. At least it wasn’t so loud anymore, or so insistent. She almost felt like she floated on a cloud, light and fluffy, drifting in the air. As if she weighed nothing at all…
Paige slumped into Matteo’s arms, her entire body falling forward, her head bobbling back in such a sudden, horrible jerk he leapt up, cradling her neck in his hand. Tension radiated through him as he studied her face. Her skin was pale, her breathing shallow, and her eyes were closed.
She’d fainted.
Gathering her into his arms, he stood, snatching her bag with his fingers so he could carry it beneath her. He strode through the terminal, ignoring the odd looks people cast in his direction as he passed, determined to get her the hell out of there and quick.
“Sir, sir, does the lady need medical attention?” A young man in a plain blue uniform approached him, and Matteo shook his head, not bothering to answer. They needed to leave this wretched place so he could take her home where she belonged.
But what if she really was sick? Or something serious was wrong with her? God, what if she was…?
He gave her a little shake in his arms, squeezing her, whispering her name before he raised his voice. “Wake up.”
A sound escaped her, faint but there, and he squeezed her again, spoke a little louder. “Paige. Can you hear me?”
“Stop,” she whispered. “Your voice is too loud.”
Relief flooding him, he hustled out of the terminal and headed for the parking structure where his car waited. She would be fine. She had to be. He’d already lost one woman in his life, he wasn’t about to lose another.
Juggling a slender woman, the purse that still hung off her shoulder, her duffle bag and his keys wasn’t an easy feat, but he somehow managed to do it. After opening the passenger side door, he slid her inside, settling her in the seat, thankful to see she was somewhat lucid and able to sit on her own. He leaned over her, buckling the seatbelt, and he could feel her gaze on him the entire time.
“I’m going to miss my bus,” she said when he was finished.
“You’re not going on the bus,” he answered before he slammed the door.
What the hell was wrong with her? Her behavior was odd and her reluctance over seeing him was, he had to confess, disheartening.
But damn it, he had to try and make it up to her. Beg her forgiveness. Whatever he could do to rectify this wrong he’d done to her, he would. No way could he let her run out of his life ever again.
He drove them home in record time, thankful she could at least walk when he opened the door for her. He escorted her the entire way, completely silent, his hand at her lower back as he guided her through the building, into the elevator. She remained quiet as well, the color back in her cheeks, though the look of exhaustion around her eyes told the truth.
She was so tired. And he felt as if he were to blame.
“Paige, we need to talk,” he said as soon as he shut the door to his apartment.
“Not now,” she called weakly over her shoulder as she walked into the living area. “Where’s Matty?”
“At my sister’s.” He followed her, grabbing her by the arm so he could turn her around and face him. “Do you want something to eat? To drink?”
“Water, please,” she asked primly.
He got her a glass of water, keeping his eye on her the entire time. She wandered about the living room, looking a little lost until she finally sat on the couch. He went to her, handed her the glass before he settled in beside her.
And she promptly scooted away from him. “Is Matty okay?” she asked.
“He will be now,” Matteo bit out, wishing he could reach out and touch her. But he held himself in check. “He was worried about you.”
“What did you tell him?”
“He knew you left. He figured it out first when he went in your room and saw that you took all of your belongings. I told him I was going to find you and bring you back. In fact…”
He pu
lled out his phone and punched a number.
She met his gaze, her eyes full of sadness as she realized he must be calling Matty. “You didn’t leave him alone, did you?” she asked, and he loved how her maternal instincts roared.
“No, bella. He’s with Stasia, remember? And he probably won’t sleep until he knows I brought you home. Hello? Stasia, can I talk to Matty?”
He handed over the telephone, and Paige’s face softened when a familiar voice spoke. Matteo could hear him too—he was sitting so close. “Ullo?”
“Matty!”
“Paige!”
“Are you being a good boy?”
“Yes, yes, are you with Daddy? He said he’ll bring you home, are you coming home?”
“Maybe. Yes. Yes. Go to sleep now. I’ll see you in the morning.” She hung up and glanced at Matteo, her cute eyebrows scowling a little bit.
“I’m not an object you can keep in your house, Matteo,” she said, her voice low.
“I know that. Paige, I’m sorry.” He tossed the phone aside and scooted closer to her, wanting to touch her but unsure if he would only worsen things or not. He clenched his hands at his sides. “I was an idiot. I was so upset when I saw that article, I reacted without thought and in the process, I hurt you.” He was probably already making a mess of this, but damn it, he needed to get his apology out in the open.
“You did hurt me. All I wanted was your trust.” She set the water glass on the table, then turned to face him once more.
He briefly closed his eyes and shook his head. “I wish I knew how to make this up to you. I wish I knew how I could prove how much you mean to me. You never even gave me a chance to explain. My brothers found a woman who used to work for Leonard. Said he did the same thing to her that he did to you. I was about to come and tell you everything, but you’d already left.”
“Your brothers?” Her jaw dropped open.
Tempted by Her Boss: The Renaldis, Book 1 Page 15
