But my curiosity won out. After a minute of debating with myself, I let my eyes flutter open, and there he was.
Trent. I was lying in bed wrapped in Trent’s arms.
It was a dream come true, even though teenage me had thought it would be so much more innocent. Nevertheless, Trent was holding me close enough that I knew he was completely naked. And so was I.
My body started to heat up all on its own as memories from last night bombarded my thoughts.
Oh, shit.
I was tempted to squirm but I didn’t want to wake him up.
Why not, though?
I paused at the thought, realizing I did want to wake him up. The thoughts from last night were all wonderful, but I wanted more than just a memory. I wanted to shake him awake. I wanted to feel him between my thighs once more, his cock inside me, filling me up and moving deliciously in ways that drove me crazy with lust. I wanted to kiss him again, taste his silky skin one more time.
Not that I could kiss him with the way my mouth tasted. With my head still aching slightly and my body feeling so icky. There was something uncomfortable between my thighs when I shifted them, and I thought it would be better if I could have a bath and brush my teeth first. Maybe gargle some mouthwash to get rid of the disgusting taste in my mouth.
So, no waking Trent up for some morning fun. I would be too awkward about it anyway, with last night being my first time and all. I remembered him remarking I was tight and hoped he hadn’t realized that fact.
But more than that, I knew it was a mistake.
I bumped into him and seduced him last night. We both got lost in the moment, but he would regret it when his eyes opened and he saw who was lying next to him.
Before that happened, I had to be gone.
This was all my fault. I couldn’t say I’d been plastered last night, but I hadn't exactly been sober either. Running into him was one thing, and I didn’t know where the courage to kiss him even came from, but I knew he would blame me for coming on to him.
I’d had enough shit from this guy as it was. Thinking of the fallout from last night’s activities was enough to make my stomach churn some more.
This shouldn’t have happened at all. I rubbed my thighs together, feeling uncomfortable at the soreness between my legs, only to freeze when I remembered what it meant.
We didn’t use protection last night.
Shit!
With sudden urgency, I started to move. I did so carefully, doing my best not to wake him. His arms slid out from around me, and I got off the side of the bed, standing up. Almost immediately, I was falling, but I managed to hold onto the bed and brace myself so I wouldn’t end up on the floor. My legs were just a little wobbly, but what surprised me was how sore I felt between my legs. How had I not noticed that?
I winced as I straightened up once more, better prepared now. I walked around the room, looking for my dropped clothes, and pulling them all on, grimacing at how disgusting I felt. I needed to get back to my room and take a shower.
Fully dressed, I tiptoed out of the room, taking a last glance at Trent sleeping peacefully before I ran.
Back in my room, I tossed my clothes off and went straight to the shower. I ducked under the spray before it could warm up and I stood under it, letting the water wash over me and sluice away the aches.
I was panicking.
We didn’t use any protection last night!
I was a virgin, and I’d had myself tested before. There was no worry on my end, and while I didn’t know about Trent because he wasn’t a celibate, I had to believe he probably took care of himself. That controlling personality of his wouldn’t allow for anything less, would it?
But there was another, bigger worry, and I didn’t know what to do with it.
“What happens if I get pregnant?” I said to myself, my voice hushed.
I hadn't been on any contraceptives before because I didn’t have a sex life. So last night had come out of nowhere. I knew there were pills I could take, the morning after pills. I just didn’t know if I could bring myself to take them? Could I bring myself to do that to a possible pregnancy? The thought of being pregnant was a little daunting in my current position, but I was even more worried about what would happen if I did nothing about the possibility.
What was I going to do?
The question whirled around in my mouth as I washed myself thoroughly, grimacing when I caught some spots of red when I washed between my thighs. I washed up twice and rinsed, then stepped out, wrapping a towel around my body and another one around my hair.
I stopped in front of my bathroom mirror and stared at my reflection. It had been a while since I’d last looked at myself, and I realized I had changed. My face looked the same, but after last night, I was no longer a virgin, and it was something I would never get back.
Not that I regretted it. I’d been saving it for the right man, and for me, that had always been Trent.
“But I need to take care of the consequences,” I told myself firmly.
There was only one decision I could make. If Trent found out I was pregnant, would he even let me explain? What happened if he didn’t care and walked away? He would hate me, and he would never forgive me if I ended up pregnant from our one-night stand. Trent would never ever forgive me.
“I need the pill.” The words came out in a harsh whisper, and the look of horror that crossed my face was exactly how I felt in my chest.
After drying up, I looked for new clothes to pull on. I picked up a t-shirt and jeans, then pulled a hoodie on top, pulling the hood down to cover my face. I pulled on my sneakers then picked up my purse and left.
There was a pharmacy a short distance from the hotel. It was close enough to walk. I went slowly anyway, but ten minutes later, I was exchanging cash for the pills I would need.
“Here you go,” the girl behind the counter said, grinning up at me. “Next time you need a plan so you don’t need the emergency pills. A lot of women don’t like taking them. You need to see a doctor to set up a contraception plan.”
I gave her a pained smile. “Thanks for the advice,” I murmured as I walked away.
I wasn’t hiding the fact I was ashamed of what I was doing, and it was nice of her to take the time to explain it to me. I could have just stopped and thought about using condoms last night and I wouldn’t be in the position I was in, I reminded myself. I’d been a virgin last night, but I hadn't been an idiot, so the fault was completely my own.
On the walk back to the hotel, I moved even slower, contemplating this step I was about to take. I shouldn’t have treated sex so lightly in the first place, no matter how caught up in the moment I was, and this was kind of like my punishment. I kept going back and forth about what to do. By the time I made it to my room, I knew what I was going to do, and my eyes were already stinging with tears.
I went to my kitchen and got a glass of water, then sat with it on my small counter. I took five whole minutes staring at the glass of water and the pills before I removed one from the sheet with trembling hands.
“I’m doing this,” I whispered to the empty room. My eyes dropped down to my tummy, and I placed one trembling hand over it, blinking back another wash of tears. “I’m so sorry.”
With that apology, I picked up the pill, threw it into my mouth, and swallowed it down with the water.
An hour later, it was time for my shift. I’d taken another quick shower and dressed in a different set of clothes. I headed down to the staffroom where the lockers were located and pulled on my white coat. I tied back my hair and tucked it under my chef’s hat.
What am I going to do? I thought again.
There was no way I could ever face Trent again, not after last night. Not after I’d thrown myself at him like that. He was already an asshole to me at the best of times; his smirking was going to be astronomical after this!
I couldn't deal with it. It had been hard enough having him laugh at me for a chaste kiss. Him making fun of me after we’d slep
t together… any bit of self-esteem I managed to gather while he was gone would go down the drain.
Should I quit? I wondered to myself. It might be for the best. I’d have to move someplace else. Maybe back in with my parents? There’d be no reason for us to meet as long as I kept to the servant halls and entries and exits.
I didn’t want to be a bother to my parents, though. Besides, they’d ask why I was suddenly so eager to move back home when I’d been just as eager to leave after high school.
Or, I thought, brainstorming, I could always try moving to another location. The hotel has several branches, and I was offered a job at any of the others…
It would mean going far away from my parents. I’d decided to stay in Charlotte because I didn’t want to be away from them. But there was nothing else I could do, was there? I’d do anything if it meant getting away from Trent and seeing that smirk of his ever again.
My mind drifted to thoughts of last night. I remembered the soft touches he’d placed on my shoulder, the sweet way he’d kissed me. But I knew I couldn’t think of it as making love. To Trent, we’d fucked, and that was it. Everything I’d imagined in my mind didn’t mean anything to him. And it shouldn’t mean anything to me either.
Trent was a dick, I’d known it for a while. What had been so beautiful to me would just be another weapon in his arsenal, and I was not going to stick around for him to use it against me.
I had a feeling if he ever did use it, it would be enough to destroy me. I could leave after he’d done it, or I could do it before, and I knew which I was going to pick for the sake of my self-preservation.
I’m sorry Mom and Dad, I thought, sending out another round of apologies. I know I’d been the one to make the promise, but it looks like I’m going to go far away.
I was determined, and as I went to work, I wasn’t distracted.
11
Trent
The bed felt empty and cold as I struggled to open my eyes. My legs and arms slowly moved across the mattress, only to discover I was alone.
Where did she go?
I listened out with a stirring of hope. Maybe she was in the bathroom or something? But after a minute of listening and catching nothing, I gave it up and sighed, sitting up in bed.
“Jessi?” I tried calling out, not expecting an answer.
Fuck.
Why wouldn’t she be there when I woke up? After last night I’d hoped things had changed between us. Maybe not?
“Maybe I’m thinking too much,” I grumbled to myself. “I need to talk to Jessi first.”
I nodded to myself as I made the decision. It would be the smart thing to do, after all.
Decision made, I crawled out of bed, slowly taking one step at a time. I threw the covers to the side and frowned, then looked down at myself.
“Shit! Was I too rough last night?”
Jessi hadn't said anything, but suddenly I felt very concerned.
I headed to the bathroom to get showered. I got out with a towel around my waist, another around my shoulder that I used to dry my hair. I went to my closet and looked at my clothes. There wasn’t much, and I thought about either having more brought from my home or buying more. Someone would be coming to clean my room and they would take the clothes I’d thrown all over the floor, so I didn’t try to pick them up. Then I looked over at the bed and hesitated.
No, it’s fine, I thought. No one would think of Jessi, so it shouldn’t be a problem.
I hoped that was true as I picked out my suit for the day, then started to get dressed. Underwear first, then the slacks and shirt. After picking out a pair of cufflinks, I pulled on the suit coat and fixed up the tie before buttoning up the coat. I took a look at myself in the mirror, then styled my hair so the bangs were pushed away from my forehead. It took a bit of gel, but my hair was usually good at behaving.
Properly dressed, I stepped out of my room. The first thing I wanted to do was to run around and look for Jessi, but I knew I couldn’t do that. There was still a lot of work to do, and besides, people would talk if I went to find her straight away. It would be best for the both of us if I had some strength of will.
“Later,” I promised myself, heading up to the office. “I’ll look for her later.”
I missed her, though.
The thought was enough to startle me, though I didn’t let it show visibly as I found an elevator. I wasn’t the only one waiting for one, but the others were likely guests hoping to go down for breakfast. When both elevators opened, I hesitated, but when I got inside the one going up, the guests went for the other one.
Why Jessi had left my bed this morning was still on my mind. And the fact I missed her, but I had to get on with my day.
Maybe I’ll go see her in the evening? I thought. I wasn’t sure where her room was. But she worked in the building so maybe I could try the staff room again? It wouldn’t take much sleuthing to find out where her room was.
Put it out of your mind for now, I thought to myself as I came up to the office. You’ve got important work to do.
The secretary had a desk outside the office, and as I came up, she rose to her feet with hands clasped in front of her as she gave me a polite smile.
“Good morning, sir.”
“Good morning,” I muttered back, distracted. Then I focused on her with a frown. “Have breakfast sent up to me, please. And call the management, see if they’ve found that paperwork I asked them to look at before.”
I was still looking at some of the accounting records for the hotel, among other things. It was the most important thing I wanted to look into. There was nothing wrong with what I’d seen so far, but I was meticulous—as Dad had taught all his children to be—so I wasn’t leaving anything out. Even though it was a bit overkill and I was starting to feel the effects of my late nights and early morning starts.
“Right away, sir,” the secretary said readily. “Anything specific you want for breakfast?”
That made me pause. Usually, I just had coffee, and that was it. But…
“Have some coffee sent up and a pastry. Whatever you think I’d like best, but nothing too sweet.”
“Yes, sir,” she said with a bobbing nod.
I walked into the office, frowning to myself. I didn’t pick a pastry because Jessi was the primary pastry chef in the hotel. I was just… tasting what the hotel had to offer. I also pushed aside the fact I wanted to see her again. That was just… because of last night, so she could explain to me exactly what went down and how she ended up in my arms.
Should I ask how she ended up in my bed, too? I pushed the thought aside.
I took off my coat and laid it on the back of my chair as usual. Then I sat down and pulled the folders I’d left on the desk last night closer to me. I did a quick perusal of them. About ten minutes later there was a knock on my door, and I looked up, closing the folder I’d just finished with.
“Come in, please,” I called.
The secretary opened the door, and someone with a uniform from the hotel kitchens pushed a tray inside. I caught myself thinking it could have been Jessi and pushed the thought out of my mind. It was probably not her job to move food around, just to make it.
The staff worker stopped the tray beside my desk and transferred it from the trolley he was pushing. There was a mug and a carafe of coffee, and under the tray were a few pastries. It wasn’t something I often ate so I didn’t recognize what was on the plate. The staff worker left it all in front of me, gave a short bow, then made his way out.
I didn’t get immediate word from my secretary about the lower management and the paperwork I needed. I wondered if they were even awake and if I’d need to change business hours, so they could be in their offices when they were needed.
That would only be convenient for me, I decided. Besides, the old man would probably get mad if I messed things up for him before he got back.
I poured the coffee and took a sip, then eyed the plate of pastries. After some thought, I picked a small, round
one that had a slight hollow at the top. I bit into it, paused, then chewed. I nodded slowly to myself as I took another bite of it. The bread had just the right level of crunch without being too flaky and breaking off in my fingers, it was slightly sweet, and it had melted cheese in the middle.
I wanted the name of it. It tasted so good it seemed a waste that I hadn't been taking it every day with my coffee. When had I decided black coffee alone would be a good breakfast? I'd been missing out. I finished the first pastry then took another, and another. By the time the plate and my mug were empty, I was tempted to lick my fingers. I looked up, realized I was alone and did it anyway.
Afterward, I grumbled to myself for doing something so un-classy, whether or not someone was watching me do it, and wiped my fingers on a napkin.
The secretary chose that moment to come in, and I was relieved she hadn't come in just a few seconds earlier. She’d knocked first, but then I wouldn’t need to have a guilty expression on my face that would clue her in.
“Yes?” I said as she stepped up to the desk.
“I spoke to the manager and he said he’d be passing by the accounting and financial departments and have someone bring up the documents for you. You should have them in an hour. Was there anything else you needed?”
I frowned because what I needed was those documents a lot earlier than an hour. It would seem there was nothing I could do about it and there was no use in complaining.
“No,” I said. “Just let me know when they come in, thank you.”
I gave her a dismissive nod, but she blinked at me a couple of times in surprise. I frowned, wondering if it was because I hadn’t made a complaint about the tardiness. Did I always do that? Well, whatever. I gave her a pointed look, and her expression turned sheepish before she walked out of the room.
Alone again, I poured myself more coffee and took my time with it. I pulled the files I was looking through before breakfast came. Since it was just a quick perusal, I did it at my leisure, feeling relaxed for the first time in a long while. I had an hour to do that before getting down to serious work.
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