by Kayn, Debra
Taylor looked over her shoulder. Heat flooded her face and she suddenly wondered if trying to talk to Slade while everyone was around might not be such a hot decision.
Slade's intense gaze locked on Taylor. Every nerve in her body tingled. She'd missed him, and she was scared that he would never come back to her.
The last several days, she'd mourned his absence. Sadness, anger, and finally despondence over the thought that he'd slipped away from everything he knew settled around her. But the rage he directed at her, she couldn't handle.
She stood. Half-afraid she'd run across the room and throw her arms around him or do something even more stupid, like burst out bawling in relief. He walked straight for her. His jaw twitched in anger. She stopped, fearful of upsetting him more and holding him back from healing. She straightened, ignoring the self-doubts creeping in. She deserved an explanation.
He planted his boots in front of her. "Bars closed."
His words, cold and rude, contradicted the intensity of his brown eyes on her, taking in everything. She crossed her arms. Maybe he'd get the hint she was done with him pushing her aside.
"Yeah, I know. I'm staying with the girls while the guys have their meeting." She lifted her chin, continuing so he wouldn't argue. "I need to talk with you. I found out everyone pretty much knows we've been seeing each other in secret. There's no reason we can't talk. I understand you're hurting…I am too."
Slade opened his mouth to speak, and then changed his mind. She moved in closer and put her hands on his chest. His heart raced underneath her touch and fueled her forward.
"Give me five minutes without shutting me out," she said. "Please."
"Not here," he whispered.
"Okay." She inhaled. This was good. It wasn't a definite hell no. "My place?"
He shook his head. "Wait for me outside after the meeting. It should only take a few minutes, and then you can say whatever it is you think you need to get off your chest."
She nodded. "Yeah, sure. I'll be outside."
His lips tightened over his teeth. She could no longer hold in the question that she'd been dying to ask. Not knowing was driving her crazy. "Have you heard from the boys?"
"No," he said.
"You'll get them in two days and see for yourself they're fine." She blinked extra-long and then looked up at him. "They're your boys through and through."
A shudder ran through his body before he stepped away. "I need to go to the meeting."
"Okay." She watched him walk down the hall into the meeting room in the back of the building.
She'd worked at Cactus Cove for seven years, and not once had she been inside the Bantorus meeting room at the end of the hall. Only old ladies to the members were allowed on the property during the meeting. Usually the rule never bothered her, because Slade received something fulfilling from being a member that kept him faithful to the club.
The last couple of days, everywhere she turned, signs were popping out all over the place. She wasn't first in Slade's life and because he'd walked away from her, she wasn't sure where she fit in. Her parents lived in Arizona, she had no siblings, and her small circle of friends belonged to Bantorus men. Slade had become the center of her world.
Tori approached her. "Hang in there. You need to give him time to accept all the changes in his life."
She reached out and rubbed Lilly's cheek, receiving a slobbery grin in return. "I know. It's just that he's…"
"Stubborn?" Tori smiled. "They all are, honey."
Yeah, they were and she loved that about the bikers. Taylor held out her hands. "Let me hold this sweet baby girl while you go relax."
Tori handed her daughter over to Taylor. "I thought you'd never ask. She's getting so big, but I don't think I'm ready for her to start walking yet."
"It won't be too much longer, and she'll be running all around the bar." Taylor swayed in place with Lilly on her hip. "Bossing all the men around, and loving every second of it."
Tori tilted her head. "You're good with her."
"I like kids." She shrugged while making kissing noises to Lilly. "My mom stayed home while I was growing up and babysat for a couple of the neighbors who had babies. I'd hurry home from school and help her. Then when I got into high school, I worked at a daycare during the summer."
"Hm," Tori said.
Taylor glanced at her. "What?"
"Just thinking." Tori raised her brows. "I guess I never noticed how the Bantorus kids are drawn to you and now that I think about it, you're always helping fill plates, entertain them, and offering a hug when others are too busy. It's no wonder you fell for Slade and his boys."
"Yeah." She hugged Lilly to her and smiled when she put her little head on Taylor's shoulder. "Well, Kurt and Lee are easy kids to love."
Tori gave her an awkward hug that included Lilly in the middle. "Thanks."
She shifted Lilly to the other arm. "For what?"
"For being there for Slade." Tori flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Now, I'm going to take you up on the offer of watching Lilly and grab a half a sandwich. I'm starving. Bring her to me when your arm falls asleep."
Lilly paid no attention to her momma leaving, and continued to snuggle against Taylor's shoulder. She walked slowing around the room, swaying side to side, and patting Lilly's warm back. Tori's contentment and security in her life came out in everything she did.
To have a baby girl to hold and hug whenever she wanted would make anyone feel like they won the lottery. Her friend loved Rain to an unhealthy level, and yet it worked for them. A pang of loneliness hit her again. She was being silly.
At twenty-nine years old, Taylor was at the age when she had to think about her future and decide if children were a possibility. She'd love to have her own child, but she also knew that she wanted the baby's father in her life too.
Slade had mentioned before that he never regretted having his kids, but he'd never again put a child in the middle of a custody battle. He was bitter, and at a different stage in life than her. He'd had his family. She gazed at the wall of pictures of Bantorus members beside the pool table. The recordings of happy times were a new addition Tori put up for everyone to look at and reminisce.
Slade stood in almost all of the photos, proud, wearing his leather cut, and acting all badass. She sighed and held Lilly a little closer. She'd be thrilled to be part of his life, whether or not he wanted more children. She loved him that much and to think of life without him, she simply hurt because he'd become the biggest thing in her life.
"Your Uncle Slade is a hard man to figure out, Lilly," she whispered. "Someday, you'll grow up and probably fall in love with a biker. If you're lucky enough to capture him, remember to hold on tight."
Male voices grew louder. Taylor pivoted and spotted the men walking into the bar. The usual rowdiness that came after a club meeting was missing.
Slade walked straight to her and lifted his chin toward Lilly. "Where's Tori?"
"Around. I'll go find her and give this little girl back to her mom," she said.
"I'll be outside." Slade walked away.
It seemed like she'd spent most of the week watching Slade run away from her. She kissed Lilly's shoulder without waking her. "Let's go find your momma. Then your Aunt Taylor needs to go knock some sense into your big, bad biker uncle."
Chapter Five
The news of Lagsturns Motorcycle Club and Los Li, a gang linked to the Mexican Mafia, heading toward Pitnam further complicated Slade's life. He leaned against the outside brick wall of Cactus Cove, waiting for Taylor, and peered into the distance. This was his town.
Born and raised in Pitnam, he worked hard alongside the Bantorus men to keep trouble away from their families and community. He closed his eyes. Maybe the judge was right and he wasn't a fit father.
He'd done everything he thought possible. He gave Lee and Kurt a safe place to grow up, a community that cared about everyone living in the small town and looked out for each other, and enough rules to keep the bo
ys real without stifling them. What they lacked was a mother.
For all Jodie's good intentions and promises, she still ran around wild the way she did back when she was twenty and newly married to Slade. Her lack of self-esteem drove her to seek attention anywhere she could find it, which caused her to put the boys second in her life, maybe third.
The judge's decision to give his kids to his ex-wife supported some bullshit study that children under the age of twelve were better off with their mothers, but Jodie wasn't the typical mom. He opened his eyes and spit on the ground. He wasn't a normal father with a nine to five job and golf on the weekends either.
He was a biker. Plain and simple.
He supported his freedom, his country, and believed only in black and white, never gray.
His chest tightened and he blew out his cheeks, letting the air out slowly to help calm him down. Most of all, he believed in justice, and he wasn't afraid of taking that responsibility on himself.
Jodie and Ray did not deserve to be active participants in his kids' lives.
He'd given Jodie enough time to learn how to be a responsible parent. She failed, but most of all she'd disappointed Lee and Kurt.
Some women were not cut out to be mothers. He groaned and tapped the back of his head against the brick wall. Then there were women like Taylor.
His head pounded at the primal longing that came over him when he walked into the bar and Taylor held Lilly. She'd make a wonderful mom, a deserving mom, an unselfish mother. It wasn't the first time that thought entered his head and wouldn't let go.
He'd witnessed his boys come alive while around her. They soaked up her positive influence and walked away a better young man for knowing her. They longed for a softer touch and feminine approval that he couldn't provide as their father.
Fuck, he loved his kids and wanted the best for them. Taylor was the one he wanted raising his boys.
The door swung open and Taylor peered around for him. He took the moment to study her without alerting her to his presence. It mattered little about what was going on in his life. He still wanted her. He still fed off having her near. He still wanted to kick the world's ass to give her everything.
"Hey," he said.
She turned and smiled before losing the radiance his actions the other day had stolen from her. He'd hurt her, and that was on his back to carry around.
"Hey, you." She moved in beside him and leaned against the wall, looking out over the parking lot.
He wanted to tell her where his head was at and have her accept the reasons he had for pushing her away. Explaining his feelings with words was a foreign concept to him. He could show her what mood he was in with sex, and she'd figure out if he were angry, lonely, or enjoying himself. But how could he explain that his heart was breaking?
He cleared his throat. "I don't—"
"Wait." She inhaled deeply and sighed. "Can we just stand here and not talk for a few minutes?"
He nodded, though she wasn't looking. He understood why she wanted to hold off talking. It was probably for the same reason he couldn't force himself to stay away from her. He'd tried to keep his distance, swore every night for the past year not to ride over to her house and crawl into her bed.
She was an addiction he couldn't break, and she'd always welcomed him without any questions or demands. Even now, he fought with himself. He was incomplete without her. It was natural for him to want to take care of her, love her, and be with her.
Hell, the last two days, he'd picked up his cell phone, who knows how many times, and almost pushed her number anytime he had a thought and wanted to share it with her. At night, he laid wide-awake wishing he were lying in her bed. He missed her with the same veracity he missed his kids, and when something was that deep, that painful, he knew he'd made the wrong decision to push her away.
Whether it was the biggest mistake of his life or not, he wasn't letting her go.
She slipped her fingers into his hand. His body vibrated. One small show of affection and he wanted her up against the wall with her panties around her ankles. Not for his relief because he hadn't had sex for a week, but because this was Taylor and when they were together, she made his world brighter.
Her quiet strength took him to his knees.
"Fucked up, baby girl," he said.
"Yeah." She squeezed his hand. "I should bitch you out for even thinking of leaving me, but—"
"You won't." He tugged her over until she faced him, then he pulled her against the length of his body. "Later you can act like my old lady. Right now, I only want to taste you. Feels like I'm losing my head without you."
She tilted her chin. He lowered his mouth. The instant they connected, he knew he wasn't going to be satisfied with only tasting a sample. She trembled against him, kissing him back. Using his lips, he opened her mouth. Her warmth, her familiar, indescribable taste, coupled with her response had his cock hard and aching. He widened his stance, pulling her closer and sank his fingers deep into her hair, holding her perfectly still while he worked her mouth.
He swept his tongue across hers, eliciting a groan from her. Like a starving man, he kept his lips sealed against hers, sucking, exploring, dancing. He lowered his hands and cupped her ass, pressing his hardness against her, trying to appease the need to be inside of her.
Slade sucked in his breath. There was vulnerability about Taylor that only came out when she let herself stop thinking and start feeling. That deep connection and desire she gave him, had him falling more in love with her.
She moved her mouth and kissed his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. He groaned at the loss of her lips and encouraged her to go down. Down and wrap her lips around his dick.
"Jesus, get a room." Ronny walked behind them and sat on his motorcycle.
Slade flipped him the middle finger. For the first time in days, he could breathe. This was his life.
The club, his woman, and…
He hooked Taylor's neck, bringing her attention back to him, wanting to selfishly keep everything that was his. He owned her. "Come home with me."
"Your house?" Her brows rose. "Don't you want to go to mine?"
He shook his head. "It's time."
Now that he'd made up his mind, he wasn't giving her a chance to argue with him. He took her hand and led her over to her car. Once her door was unlocked, he ushered her inside and closed her inside the vehicle.
He was done playing the pushover. He'd get everything he wanted back, and if he had to kill anyone who tried to stop him from keeping what was his, he would. He was done fucking around, playing by the rules, and letting other people dictate his life.
Taylor started the engine and put her window down. "Are you positive?"
"Yeah." He leaned down and braced his forearms in the opened window. "I'm done letting Jodie and Ray rule my life. You and me…we're out. Not going to hide you no more. You're my old lady. My boys will be back Friday night, and I want you there with us. Ain't shitting around anymore. If they want to fight me, I'll show them who I really am."
She stared at him and then a big grin, aimed at him, gave him the boost he needed. "About damn time, honey."
Rejuvenated and positive he'd get his family back together—it might not be this weekend, but it'd be soon—he stepped away from the car and found himself grinning back. "Get going. I'll follow you to the intersection and then lead the way."
"Okay." She shifted the car into first.
"Hey." He stopped her. "When we get there, I want your ass naked and on my bed."
She laughed. "I've never been inside your house. Won't you show me around first?"
"Hell, no." He walked backward to his bike. "It's a house and nothing special. You're my woman. You'll make it a home."
He turned around and jogged the rest of the way to his Harley Davidson. There was no time to put off getting his life straightened out. If Rain was right and the Lagsturns were meeting Los Li in Pitnam territory, he wanted everyone he cared about under his watch.
&nb
sp; Chapter Six
The mattress springs on Slade's bed squeaked. Taylor moved up and down on top of Slade, her hands braced on his chest. Strands of her hair stuck to the corner of her mouth as she panted. The noise from the bed matched the urgency of her movements.
His fingers were doing crazy things between her legs as she plunged down on his length. She moaned as her body tightened in pleasure.
"That's it, baby girl," Slade murmured.
His eyelids half covered his eyes and he gazed heatedly at where their body joined. The desire on his face had her insides quivering, straining, reaching for her orgasm. Each stroke of his cock tightened her core muscles, warming them, until she dug her fingernails into his chest and let herself go.
Her back arched. Her knees landed on the mattress, producing another squeak from the bed. She stifled a scream of approval. Slade gripped her hips, holding her in place as his hips bucked underneath her and he grunted in male release. She gasped for breath, her upper body pitched forward and she lay flat on Slade. Wonderful quivers of pleasure rocked her body.
The orgasm, one of the strongest after going a week without so much as a flicker of sexual desire, had turned her into a pile of mush. She lay her head down in the crook of Slade's neck and sighed. If she had any strength left in her body, she'd climb off him, but she was too tired and relaxed. She molded around him, reminded of how much Slade completed her. Her constant need was at an unhealthy level.
She smiled. If loving Slade was bad, she wanted to be really bad.
He shifted underneath her, and the bed squeaked. She turned her face into his chest, laughing softly.
His chest rumbled against her cheek. "Damn. I need a new bed if you're going to be in it with me. Never noticed how much noise it makes before."
She lifted her head and arched her brows in feigned surprise. "Really?"
"Bitch." He slapped her bare ass, but his lips twitched in amusement. "You know I never took women home, around my kids, before I met you."
She heaved herself off him, disconnecting from his body. "Trust me. I remember."
