by Langland, J.
Crunch! It landed heavily on the deck, cracking a few planks.
"Hey lunches! Where's Tom?"
"Back! Vile spawn of night-hags!" Gastropé commanded. He was quickly making some sort of gesture.
"My, my, aren't we testy? Relax your gonads before I roast them on their branch." Tizzy told him. Gastropé squinted, trying to determine if his spells were having any effect.
"What are you doing here, demon?" Jenn demanded.
"Like I told you. I'm looking for the Tomatic demon." Tizzy intoned with a certain echo effect in his voice on the last sentence.
"The what?" Asked Gastrope' obviously puzzled, and dripping with sweat.
"The big red handsome fellow, you know--the one who was playing taxi driver for you."
"What driver? Never mind," Jenn shook her head. "He's not here. He's gone back to the Abyss. Now leave."
"Well, aren't you Miss Congeniality? Where am I supposed to leave to? Remember, he was my ride as well as yours."
"Get yourself gone, demon. We command you." Jenn told the octopod.
"By what right? Do you have a binding on me? Did you summon me? Do you even know my name? You don't even have the right components for a ward." He pointed to the materials Gastropé had put together trying to construct some form of protection from the demon.
Gastropé, as was recently his habit with demons, was blanching severely and trying to stutter out some new form of protection spell. Jenn was just frowning. She'd faced down a bigger and nastier demon recently, and while it was probably a very stupid attitude on her part, she didn't intend to be cowed by this one. She'd just ignore the fact that it could easily rip her to shreds.
"Don't push us, demon. We've had about enough lately. Tom has left; he's not here so it does no good for you to stay. You might as well just leave." Jenn told Tizzy. At this point Maelen, Rupert and Edwyrd walked up. Edwyrd was helping Rupert to walk. That boy should not be out of bed yet.
"Hey Tizzy!" Rupert waved his hand at the demon.
"Hey Rupert!" The demon replied, baring its teeth in a fearful grimace.
"Rupert! Get back in bed! What the Abyss loving mother of dragons are you doing out of bed? You nearly died yesterday, and if you're not careful this fiend from the pits will finish you off. Get back inside."
"My, you really do have a type-A personality, don't you girl?" The demon asked. Jenn shook her head in annoyance, not understanding this crazy creature at all.
"Edwyrd, you will take Rupert back to his bed, this instant." Jenn commanded.
"Um, well, Jenn, Rupert says he knows this demon. If so, maybe he could be of some help in placating it. Maybe keep it from eating everyone on the ship?" Gastropé appeared to drip another gallon of sweat on the deck.
"Edwyrd, if you knew anything at all about demons, you would know that you can't placate them. The only way you can deal with them at all is from a position of power. Not by being buddy-buddy. Now get Rupert back to bed."
"Is she always this bossy?" Tizzy asked Rupert.
"Well," Rupert tried to be conciliatory. "She's under a lot of pressure right now; she just thinks she's looking out for me."
"Rupert!" Jenn was going to go beserk about any second now. Why did everyone have to be so unreasonable? Was she the only sane person left in the world? She glanced at the waterlogged Gastropé; well, one of two sane people in the world, she amended. This was a murder-loving demon they were dealing with. A fiendish monster from the fiery pits of the Abyss! Here they were standing around talking to it like some long-lost comrade.
"Demon! Would you just leave? You'll find no friends here. Your demon lord has returned, leaving you. So go get left!" Jenn was nearly shouting at the end.
"You really shouldn't get so worked up." Tizzy commented casually. "My thirteenth mistress was the same way. Eventually she burst a blood vessel in her brain. I didn't even have to help her!" Tizzy shook his head sadly.
Jenn swayed on her feet. She felt like she was going to collapse any second. She really wasn't cut out for dealing with demons. Nor with senseless human males like Rupert and Edwyrd. "Maelen, would you please make Edwyrd and Rupert go?"
Maelen coughed, clearing his throat. "Esteemed colleagues. While it is true that I sense no immediate danger from this demon, prudence would dictate that you return to your quarters."
"Enough!" Edwyrd said. "I can handle the demon, if it becomes a problem. You know that." He glanced at Maelen who looked rather uncomfortable all of the sudden. "Demon," Edwyrd addressed Tizzy directly for the first time. "What is it that you want? You've been told that the being you seek is no longer here."
"Ahh, mister?" Tizzy inquired politely of Edwyrd.
"Edwyrd." Edwyrd supplied.
"Mr. Wyrd, thank you for your politeness, some people could learn from your civil manner." The demon glanced at Jenn from the corner of its eye. Jenn simply glared at the demon. The demon continued in an almost too suave, too civilized, theatrical tone. "It seems that my ride has temporarily vacated this plane. Since I can't return without him, and since I am sure he will return to visit you, his...friends." He smiled leeringly at Jenn, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Jenn's face went red with fury. "I would like to wait with you, in the chance of encountering him again."
Jenn had been watching the smiling demon. Now she was ticked. It acted like it was playing some sort of game with them. "Impossible!" Jenn snapped. "You may not stay here."
"Well..." the demon returned its stare to her, tilting its head, and flexing four of its claws. This time it spoke in a higher pitched, more thoughtful tone. "If you prefer. I could go out to the nearby countryside. I hear there's a lovely buffet. Nice ripe little children. Ready for picking and roasting." The demon smiled evilly, a small flame sprouting from its upper right claw. He licked his lips. Jenn now followed Gastrope's earlier lead, and blanched.
"You wouldn't." Jenn said horrified.
"Never know! Might. Might not!" Tizzy rocked his head back and forth several times. "I also hear there are some lovely virginal maids that direction." Now he leered directly into Jenn's eyes, licking his lips. "Nope. Hard to decide. So many choices. So many delicacies. I guess maybe you're right.
"Yes indeed. Jenn was it?" Tizzy asked. "You have the right idea. Why should I wait around here for Tom to return to take me back to the Abyss? Here I have every demon's dream. Free reign on the planes of men. All the young babes to eat, maidens to ravish and men's souls to consume, that I could ever wish for!" Tizzy began dancing around in a circle.
Suddenly, before she could react. Tizzy grabbed her head with his top two claws and kissed her full on the lips. As he stepped back, releasing her, she spat. She was horrified, sickened. "Thank you, thank you, Jenn. You have given me such a wondrous idea. Here I was just going to go meekly back to the Abyss once Tom returned! But you! You my dear have given me such wonderful ideas." Tizzy began testing his wings as if preparing to launch again.
Jenn was shocked. Almost speechless. She couldn't believe this. The crazy creature was about to go out and create goddess knew what mayhem on the world. All because she'd told it to go! It was thanking her! Goddess save her! "No!" she shouted.
"No? You don't want me signing your name in the credits after each massacre?" Tizzy asked, pausing suddenly. "You are a modest girl, but don't worry. I will see you get your credit. After all, there are union rules to follow here. I really must give you billing credit. After all, you have practically given me the script to follow. Don't worry, I'll sign your name up in blood, right there with my own. What was your family name again?"
"No! Demon. I do not want credit. I do not want you going out to do this. You will stay here, with me, until the other demon comes back." There, it had backed her into a corner. She didn't want it to stay. Gastropé was staring at her. She didn't have a choice, she didn't know if it would really go out and do all those things, but it was a minion of the Concordenax. A being of cruelty and evil beyond imagining, it probably would do exactly what it promised. She had no choice, eve
n if it was bluffing; she couldn't risk that it wasn't.
"Good marsh gas girl, you are just the slightest bit mutable in your desires. First go, then stay! Have you tried lithium? I hear it can work wonders. Or," here the demon got quieter, as if trying to be confidential, "is it just, well, you know, female problems? That time of the month, hmm?"
Jenn took a deep breath, if not for the fact this irritating thing was a demon, she would have slapped it silly. She really didn't want to put up with this creature. "Demon, you will stay, and you will be watched every moment you are here. You will have no opportunity for mischief."
"Miss Chief? Who's she? Never met the lass. Although" Tizzy peered towards the hold, "if she does happen to be a goer, and she's hiding somewhere on board, well...I can certainly do the...thing." The demon leered again.
Jenn rubbed her forehead. "You know what I mean, demon."
Tizzy tilted his head. "You're sure?" It asked. Jenn simply nodded. "Really really sure?" Jenn nodded again. "So, would you say, you are asking me to stay?"
"I am telling you to stay, demon." Jenn said tiredly.
"You know you can't stop me from going?" Jenn sighed, the demon was right. She nodded, reluctantly. "So you are asking me to stay?"
"Yes." Jenn said through gritted teeth.
Tizzy crossed his four arms, tilted his nose up towards the sky and tapped his foot. "You didn't say the magic wo...ord."
Jenn's eyes stretched wider. "The--magic--word?" Jenn snarled.
"You know. The P word." The demon locked its lips together in a small grin, rocking its head slightly back and forth.
Jenn closed her eyes. Why her? "Please. Stay."
"Well, OK" the demon said suddenly. "But only because you begged me." The demon smiled broadly. "I'm sure we're going to be great friends."
Chapter 59
"An inquiry? Like my word isn't good enough. Like the obvious hole in the ground where my castle was, the remains of Exagas' army aren't enough?" Lenamare slammed the door to his recently furnished study's door. He and Jehenna were just returning from the first of what looked to be several council sessions regarding the dispute. Jehenna had preceded Lenamare into the room. She seated herself in one of the chairs in front of the desk while Lenamare raved on.
Jehenna looked around the room. It wasn't much. Cheap furniture, uncomfortable furniture if the truth were to be known. Unfortunately, while they both had suites in Freehold, they’d never stayed in them for any length of time, teleporting in and out as needed. For this reason they’d never bothered to completely furnish their suites.
The bookshelves had a few books on them. The books she and Lenamare had recovered yesterday when they teleported back to the ambush site. They'd have done it earlier, but so many other things had to be arranged. Fortunately, all the valuable stuff had been protected from the elements by spells. Their main spell books were safely cached away elsewhere, in a small extra dimensional space. They should have put 'the book' there. However, given its nature, they hadn't wanted to put it in any place so potentially accessible to extra-planar beings. Not that there were a whole lot of such people, only that those most likely to be interested in the book were intrinsically extra-planar. At least the room had a window.
If they were to stay for long in Freehold, they would have to find much better furnishings. However, neither of them wanted to be in such close proximity to the busy bodies on the council; so a completely new location was going to be required. A new school perhaps. Maybe not though, maybe it was time for a more private life. Jehenna didn't relish the thought of having to gather together a whole new set of brats. Most of the old ones were a lost cause. The only ones accounted for were the ones with Trisfelt. They were the next worst thing to all new students. Of course, all of this presupposed they lived through the current situation.
Actually, if they did live through it, that meant, almost by definition that they got the book back. If Exador got it, they wouldn't live through it. Of course, if Lenamare and she got it, Exador wouldn't live through it. Further, if they got the book back, that meant private life or new school were meaningless. If they got it back, they'd eventually get it open, then they'd have power. The sort of power to carve out, or repossess existing, empires. Ruling an empire didn't count as having a private life, Jehanna supposed. Too many demands on the ruler, still they were demands Jehenna would be willing to put up with.
The worst-case scenario, Jehenna supposed, was that this fiasco drag out for a long time. Which was part of what was giving Lenamare grief right now. Not that it was completely unexpected grief. "As I understand it," Jehenna interrupted Lenamare in his tirade, "an inquiry is standard procedure in such claims."
"I know. I expected one in fact. That doesn't mean I have to like it." Lenamare resumed pacing, one of his favorite habits. "In one sense, it does give us time. Time to find that book. On the other hand, it gives Exacretin time to look for it as well. Assuming he knows its missing.
"On the other hand," Lenamare continued, "an inquiry increases the chance that Damien or one of his fellow councilors will figure out what is going on. And finally, as you know, it slows our most recent plans for taking the rug out from under Exatoad. I've decided, however, to have Zilquar hold his position. The inquisition is going out to the school. Naturally, both Exafiend and I will be going along. Since he'll have his army, or what remains of it, there, I feel I'll need an army too." Lenamare stopped.
"I wonder if Damien will be taking any people with him?" Lenamare asked himself. Damien was leading the inquiry. He wanted to inspect the site personally. "Such individuals might get in the way if there was a confrontation. We should certainly plan for all eventualities."
"Is a confrontation wise?" Jehenna queried. "We didn't fare too well in the last one."
"Neither! I will point out, did Exador." Lenamare raised his index finger above his head to emphasize the point, as if lecturing to a class. "Things are a lot more even now. Or at least they would be. If I could find that damn fourth order demon."
"Do you suppose Exador took it out of the picture for good?"
"Destroyed it?" Lenamare started pacing again. Jehenna figured the cheap carpet wouldn't last a week. "Possible, but doubtful. Destruction of such beings is extremely difficult. While certainly something like a Cloud of Disintegration would take it out, there isn't much below that that can."
"So it's still on this plane?" She and Lenamare had tried twice more to summon the demon since their first failed attempt.
"Apparently. Or it's being shielded."
"By an archdemon? Nothing less could shield it."
"I know, thus we'd better pray to whatever gods will still listen to us that it's still on this plane. If archdemons are involved, we really are doomed. At least until we get the book back. At that point, archdemons better start running scared."
"So, if it is running around, it's got to be killing things. Eventually we'll hear about it. Random demon infestations aren't that common." Jehenna commented.
"Eventually is the key. It takes time, such information travels way too slowly. So, maybe the inquiry is for the best. It gives us that time. As long as Exaslime doesn't pull any tricks during the inquiry. For that we must be prepared."
"You've got good communications to Hortwell?"
"Yes, we've got mirrors on both ends. Zilquar is almost as good at preparing for things as I am." Jehenna raised her eyebrows, that statement was high praise from Lenamare. "I'll arrange some things with him later today. The inquiry is still gathering other documentation. The site visit won't be for a couple days."
~
Jenn didn't know. She just didn't know. Her mind was a complete haze these days. Somehow, someway, they'd finally made it to Hoggensforth. She didn't know how she'd survived. She and Gastropé had taken turns trying to manipulate the wind to their advantage. They'd had some success, particularly at night where they’d made great speed for some reason; it had only taken them three days rather than five or six from the time they
started until they reach Hoggensforth. Thus they were only about a day behind schedule. Not that she had a schedule, but behind the time they'd planned to be there.
When they weren't directing the wind, they were taking turns watching the demon. Mainly her and Gastropé. She couldn't trust Rupert with the demon. He talked with it too much. The fiend would probably pervert or consume the poor lad's soul if the two were left alone. In addition, Rupert wouldn't be able to do much should the demon try anything. Not that she or Gastropé could do much, but....Edwyrd had taken turns as well. He didn't seem too concerned about the demon, but he took turns to keep her happy. Maelen took a couple, but he kept insisting he could keep an eye on it from anywhere on the ship. Maybe he could, but Jenn wasn't comfortable with this, so she often sat his shifts as well.
Because of this, Jenn was about ready to drop. She'd hardly slept, and what little sleep she'd gotten had been plagued by pirate nightmares. When she got this tired, things started looking different. For one thing, it must have been her imagination, but it seemed the crew gave Edwyrd a really wide berth. They kept their distance, and were always extremely diffident and respectful towards him. To Jenn's sleep fogged brain, it seemed they showed more respect to Edwyrd than the captain. She couldn't quite figure out why. The captain didn't seem to object, in fact, if anything, he was the worst of the lot in this regard.
The really strange thing was that she wasn't sure which the crew were more nervous of, Edwyrd or the demon. The demon they just tried to ignore, especially after Edwyrd promised them he wouldn't let the demon hurt them. As if the boy, for that's all he was, certainly no older than Jenn, could do anything to stop a demon. Jenn shook her head, was the entire world insane? Or was it her? Actually, the real piece that boggled her mind came a few moments ago as they were getting off the ship.
The ship's master had come up to Edwyrd and handed him a small bag, claiming that he was returning their cabin deposit. Their cabin deposit? Jenn didn't see in the bag, but it looked to her as if they were getting a refund. While Jenn had to admit they'd saved the ship from the pirates, the ship had been damaged anyway. The ship's captain was a merchant. Who ever heard of a merchant giving money back? The whole concept was absurd.
