"You bet your ass I am. It's a fantastic idea."
"What about when my belly is huge and I'm waddling instead of walking? I don't think anyone is going to want to see that."
Staring into her eyes, I try to convey how much love and adoration I have for her. "It doesn't matter how big you are, or how you walk, I will always want to make love to you. Day, night, every hour, your body is a work of art and I'm helpless to do anything but treasure it."
"What book did you get that out of?"
"No book."
"You were reading one of Blair's books, weren't you?" How the hell does this woman know me so well? I need to play this cool.
"I was not."
"Cecily's husband's name is..."
"Christopher."
She jumps up and points her finger at me. "Ha! I knew it!"
I slap my hand over my face. "Fuucckk."
She grips my hands with hers. "Do you know what this means?" I shake my head. "We can talk about book boyfriends!"
"Like hell we can! I'm not discussing these books with you."
"You most certainly are, or I'm going to tell Blair you're a secret stalker of hers."
I smirk. "Who do you think gave me the books?"
She gasps. "You're a closet romance reader! You love the HEA!" I even know that HEA means happily ever after. I’ve been reading too much romance. I can’t help it! I’m hooked!
"I don't just crave the HEA, I need it. Did you read her last book? What the hell kind of ending was that?"
Tora pats me on the head like you would a child. "It's called a cliffhanger and Blair is so evil. She loves torturing her readers with them."
I collapse on the bed, resigned now that my secret is out. I point at Tora. "You can't tell Revere."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"Or anyone else for that matter."
Tora lifts her hand and makes an X over her heart. "I swear." Then she laughs and lies down beside me. "I can't believe you've been reading Blair's books. Where are you hiding them? I would have noticed if paperbacks were lying around."
"App on my tablet."
"Very sneaky. You look like you’re busy working, when in reality, you're reading hot romance books. I think I just fell more in love with you."
I quickly move to lay myself over her, my eyes peering downward. "You can't fall more in love with me. I already have your whole heart."
Reaching up, she brushes her hand over the scruff of my cheek. "You do and have since I first laid eyes on you."
I kiss her sweetly with no tongue. The last thing I want right now is to work her up again. I'm not in the mood for sex after accidentally revealing my fascination of romance novels.
It all started when I read Blair's non-fiction story about herself. After that, I wasn't only beaming with pride for her, but I was pulled into her story and lost in her words. So, I asked her about another one of her books and she sent it. Well, one thing led to another and I have every one of her books on my tablet. I'm just being the supportive best friend. Right? Well, that's what I tell myself. In the back of my mind, the reality is that's not why I'm reading these. I have to know what happens once I start the book.
I pull back from Tora. "I need to do something manly."
"All those romance books getting to you? Too many sex scenes and secret looks of longing making you want to chop down a tree or something?"
"You could tease me less," I state seriously.
"I could, however, I don't think so."
"Wicked woman."
"I need to run home today. I need more clothes. It's like every day I get bigger. My jeans don't close anymore."
"Grab all of your stuff and bring it here." She sleeps in my bed every night and half of her wardrobe is already here.
"That's a lot of stuff," she laughs.
I lie by her side and shrug. "Move in."
Her eyes widen then narrow. "Is that your way of asking me to move in with you?"
"Sure." I smile.
"Well, it was shitty. It wasn't even a question but a statement."
"Fine. Dearest Astoria Livingston, would you please pack all of your belongings and move into my house?"
She rolls her eyes. "I'm here almost every hour of every day."
"That you are. And I don't want you living somewhere else. I want you right here beside me, so I can touch and talk to you whenever I want. And so I can run out all hours of the night to appease any cravings you have, thanks to the little one inside of you."
"How long is it going to take you before you refer to our baby as babies?"
"Shit, I'm sorry. I keep slipping. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that there are two of them in there."
"You and me both. I'm going to be a walking house soon. Parker?"
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"Would you mind if we find out the sex of the babies? I know I said I didn't want to, but we have a lot of ultrasounds coming up, and I feel like I need to be more prepared now that there will be two of them. There's only so much green, yellow, and other gender neutral colors out there."
I smile wide. "Hallefuckinglujah. I get to see what we have in there so my mom can go shopping. She’s been making me insane. Don’t be surprised if half the baby boutique in town ends up at our door one day."
She chuckles. "Yours and mine."
Tora's mom has warmed up a lot since she found out her daughter could have been killed and is now pregnant with twins. She's not as formal and stiff as she once was. And if I'm not mistaken, her dad likes her much better this way. I catch them every now and then, when we’re over there for dinner, making eyes at each other like they are newly in love. Maybe they are. Maybe her mom wasn't always so strict and formal. Maybe she's finally back to the way she used to be. No way for me to find out for sure. It's not something I’ll ever ask. I need to stay on their good side, not go digging down memory lane trying to find out what they were like before they got married.
I smack Tora’s ass again. "I'm going to make you breakfast." She cocks an eyebrow at me. "Okay, make isn't the right word. I'm going to call the diner in town and have them make you breakfast. I'll go pick it up."
Standing, I reach for my phone. I'm no cook and we order out often. Tora does like to cook but she's growing two lives in there. I don't want her wearing out. If I can help save some of her energy for other things, namely ones that involve both of us in bed, against a wall, or in the shower naked, then I'll do what I need to so she conserves what little energy the babies haven't sucked out of her.
"You’re going to put clothes on when you drive into town, right?" she asks.
"What? You don't think the Arrow Falls morning crowd would appreciate me showing up wearing nothing but a smile?"
"Considering that morning crowd is mostly over seventy years old, no."
"Hey, I've seen those women look at me."
"Like you're crazy and drive too fast?"
"No, like they fantasize about me when they’re with their husbands."
"You’re delusional!"
"I've seen the way Mrs. Walters looks at me. She bit her bottom lip once while raking me over. No lie."
Tora covers her face with her hands. "Yup. You've definitely lost it."
"I blame Blair's books. My damn mind is always in the gutter now."
She laughs. "It was in the gutter long before you read those books."
Twenty-Six
Astoria
Today's the day we find out the sex of the babies. I'm so nervous I'm shaking. I’ve been counting the days until this appointment, X’ing every one out on the calendar as it passes. Everything with the pregnancy has been going smoothly. I'm exhausted most of the time, but overall, I don't have any other complaints. Parker dotes on me all the time. My mom stops over sometimes during the day, when Dad is at work, to bring us lunch. She tells me takeout isn't a proper meal for someone in my state. I told her it's the best meal for someone pregnant. I can get anything I crave within thirty minutes. And lately,
that's been pickles, on everything, and tacos. I have four kinds of pickles in the refrigerator and the local Mexican restaurant knows me by the sound of my voice.
With everything I have, sans furniture, moved out of my parents’ house, I finally feel like a permanent part of Parker's life. Not that I didn't before, but this solidifies things a little more. We haven't gotten engaged, haven't even talked about it as a matter-of-fact. Everything we do focuses on the babies and us. We want to do what we can now before our lives are overrun with constant feedings and more diapers than I can fathom. It’s not that I haven’t thought about marrying Parker, because believe me, I have. I don’t want to push it right now with everything going well between us.
On the work front, I edited Blair's book and was so damn nervous turning it back over to her. I was worried I'd miss something or make a mistake. But Blair told me she has a proofreader she uses and that even if I miss anything, they will catch it. She also told me that no one is perfect, and she would never expect me to be. I did two rounds of editing and think I did a decent job. After Blair and her proofreader went through the book, she told me I did amazing editing it.
That book she wrote, it was eye-opening and heartbreaking. I felt every one of her emotions as I read it. The pain she endured at the hands of her fiancé was unimaginable. And the fear. The crippling fear which would overcome her without any warning and stayed with her for hours every day. She constantly worried about him being set free from prison and no one telling her—no way to prepare. Blair went into detail about her anxiety and depression. About the nightmares she had and how she called Parker over all the time.
Since her book was done, a few of her author friends have emailed me about editing books for them. I haven't taken on too many, but enough to contribute to the bills and keep me from going stir-crazy. With the way I get wiped out easily, I don’t want to commit to more than I can deliver.
Parker insists he pays for everything and says that I should save my money. He has more money than I can imagine, but I still want to contribute. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to do once the babies are born, but I'm hoping I can still edit some after I get into the swing of having two children at once. I do love what I do and without it I don't feel as fulfilled.
Parker steps into the bathroom and peers over my shoulder into the mirror in front of me. "You know we're only going to an ultrasound, right? You don't need to put on makeup."
"Have you seen my face? I'm breaking out thanks to these hormones. It's awful!"
"I honestly don't even notice."
"Of course, you don't. You're blinded by your unwavering love for me."
He laughs. "That I am. We're going to be late."
"Fine," I say and toss my mascara on the counter. "Let's get this show on the road."
All I can think about is if we’ll have two boys or two girls or one of each. We arrive, and I don’t remember the drive at all. I was too deep in my own head.
The ultrasound technician asks me to lie on the table and lift my shirt from my belly. Warm gel is squirted on my stomach a moment before she begins the ultrasound. The appointment is to check their overall measurements, make sure they are growing properly, check their hearts, and to find out the gender if we want.
The technician turns to us after taking all the appropriate pictures and measurements. "Are you sure you want to know the sexes of the babies? I have in the chart not to reveal them."
"Yes," I nod with a smile. "We changed our minds."
"We?" Parker speaks up. "I wanted to know all along."
"Oh, hush and let her do her job."
She smiles and turns back to the screen. She focuses on the first baby. "It's a boy."
I can't help the tears which form in my eyes. We have a boy. One of these sweet babies is a boy. A mini Parker. I glance at him and notice his eyes shimmering with unshed tears as well. His hand holds mine tight, not taking his eyes off the screen, waiting to see the other baby’s gender.
The tech moves over my belly to the second baby. She asks me to shift around a little to get a good look at the baby. I do as I’m told and hold my breath as she moves the wand over my skin.
"It's another boy." Her smile is even bigger now; her happiness for us shining through. "And they both look great."
The floodgates open as I start crying in earnest. Parker leans over to kiss me, as the tech wipes the gel from my belly with a soft towel.
"Congratulations," she says. "I'll give you two a few minutes. When you're ready, you can check out at the desk down the hall." She hands us the images she printed of the babies. We both smile and thank her for delivering the news to us. Parker and I will never forget this moment.
I sit up, pulling my shirt back down, and stare up into Parker's eyes. His hand gently caresses my face. The smile he's wearing is something I'd love to keep there for the rest of our lives. But above all, it's his love that's prominent. Not only for me, but the babies, too.
"Two boys," he says in awe. "What should we name them?"
"I have no clue.” I’ve only been tossing names around in my head. Nothing has stuck. I was waiting to see what we are having. I'll have to do a lot of scrolling on the Internet to find the perfect names for our babies.
Before we leave the room, I send a group text message to our parents, Blair, Cy, Eve, and Kenzie letting them know the genders. I'm immediately flooded with congratulations.
The drive home it's like we're floating on a cloud. There has been so much happening since I've graduated college. Lots of bad, but lots of good, too.
Parker pulls the Rover in front of the garage, but doesn't park it inside.
"Is something wrong?" I ask.
"Not at all.” He smiles wickedly from beside me and I know instantly he's up to no good.
He hits the button to open the back tailgate and exits the SUV. Coming to my side, he opens the door for me and takes my hand, offering his assistance.
"I can get out on my own," I tell him.
"I know, but if you did, I wouldn't be able to do this."
His lips press against mine, as his arm wraps around my back when I’m halfway out the SUV. It’s one of those earth-shattering kisses that has my knees weak and my purse dropping to the driveway. I have been insatiable in my need to have Parker since I've become pregnant. I crave him, but I also need him. If he's not around, I have to take things into my own hands—literally.
Parker bends slightly to grip the backs of my thighs in his hands and lift me up so my legs wrap around his waist.
"There's something I've wanted to do," he murmurs against my lips.
I let him carry me to the back of the Rover like I weigh nothing and set me down in the back cargo area. His hands work under my shirt to unclasp my bra. We break our kiss so he can rid me of the garments.
"You wanted to fuck me in your Rover?" I ask, already breathless.
"I wanted to fuck you on the hood, but I don't know how comfortable that would be for you, so I figured the back was a better option."
"Well, then, let’s get moving."
He smiles. "I love that you want me as much as I want you."
"Always."
He quickly strips off all his clothes then gestures for me to lie back so he can torture me with how slow he takes off my shorts and panties. The back seat was already folded down and I didn't think anything of it. Going forward I'll have to look for these little clues that Parker might be up to something. Something very enticing.
Standing, he rakes me over. Not an inch of my body feels untouched, yet he hasn't fully begun to make love to me yet. His eyes roving over me have me squirming, pressing my legs together, wanting him to ease my ache.
His hands blaze a path from my ankles to the inside of the thighs as he gently pushes my legs apart. I open for him, ready for everything he has to give me. My eyes close as he kisses a path across my stomach, only stopping when he reaches the top of my mound. His lips become greedy as he sucks and licks me. My body is fully engulfed in pass
ion, on the precipice of coming, but every time I'm about to fall over the edge, he moves to my legs or my hips, letting me cool off only marginally before he's back at it again, amping me up to the point I'm begging him to make me come.
Then his lips leave me. I whimper at the loss of contact. He crawls up my body before dropping between my legs and pushing deep inside of me. I climax immediately. I see stars at the first thrust of his hips.
Parker sucks on my nipple as he continues to fuck me, not letting up. As soon as I start to come down, he's building me back up again. My body is like a live wire, currents of lust racing through my veins, and I’m helpless to stop the sensations.
My breasts bounce between us with each movement as he presses his body close, his lips finding mine. His tongue sweeps into my mouth, greedy for me.
Reaching between my legs, I find my clit, unable to hold off any longer. I can't take the torture. Parker drives into me faster, loving when I touch myself. Tremors shake my body as once again I'm orgasming. Parker rides me through it, prolonging my bliss until I feel like I can't take it anymore. Then he pulls out to settle himself above my stomach, his dick pressed between my breasts.
"God, you’re gorgeous," he says through pants of breath.
Using my hands, I press my breasts together to encase him as he thrusts between them. His hands grip the front seat before he lets loose, coating my chest and underside of my chin. He rocks on me a few times before stopping.
"Holy fuck," he barely gets out, still holding himself lightly against me. He never puts his full weight on my body.
"We're going to have to come out to the Rover more often," I tell him.
"Even in the winter?"
"It will be in the garage. Problem solved.”
"A heated garage," he adds.
He lifts off of me to grab his shirt and clean me off. I don't bother getting dressed to walk into the house. I was already a little sticky from the ultrasound gel and now I’m covered in Parker. Taking the stairs, I go to the bathroom and hop into a hot shower. It's only minutes before Parker joins me and we make love in the shower, against the wall.
Where I Am Page 16
