Start Over: A Novel (Start Again Series #2)

by J. Saman

  “We should get up.”

  Puckering his lips, he blows cool air on the moist skin he has been kissing causing chills to rise everywhere.

  “Always the voice of reason,” he sighs, rolling off of me until he’s flat on his back. “I don’t want to go to work today,” he whines like a small boy would about school. “I want to stay in bed with you.”

  “Up you go now.” I push his heavy side, barely moving his solid mass an inch. “Time to be a responsible adult. You can join me in bed another day.”

  “I’m holding you to that.” Luke sits up in one quick motion before climbing on top, hovering above me on all fours. “Is it weird that I almost don’t want to brush my teeth after having you in my mouth last night?”

  I laugh, wrinkling my nose. “Not weird, more like gross, and I’ll feel sorry for everyone you speak with today.”

  “Fine,” he groans. “I’ll brush my teeth, but you should know that you taste so much better than my toothpaste.”

  I blush everywhere as he dips down to kiss me as if trying to prove his point.

  Luke pulls back with a wink and a lopsided grin before hopping off me and heading for the shower. I would join him, but I have a feeling he’s already running a bit behind and I don’t think my presence would help that.

  Not even ten minutes later, he’s showered, dressed, and ready to go.

  He hasn’t shaved, and the result is the beginning of a scruffy beard. I run my fingers through the bristles as he passes, enjoying the way they tickle my skin.

  “Don’t get attached to it, I’m shaving later.”

  “You don’t like having a beard?” I ask as we walk out the door and down the stairs that lead us back to the parking lot.

  “Not even a little. It itches like crazy and makes me look too much like Ryan, which is something I strive never to do.” He pauses as he holds the outside door for me. “Why, do you like it?”

  “I don’t know. I’m normally a fan of clean shaven, but it adds a bit to your bad boy mystique.”

  His eyes widen, finger pointing at his chest. “Bad boy mystique? No way. I’m a fucking prince, maybe even an angel.”

  “With the mouth of the devil.”

  I get a wicked grin for that as he opens my car door, allowing me to slip in.

  “You like my devil mouth, Doctor Green, don’t pretend otherwise.” He shuts the door and saunters around to his side, exuding confidence and . . . contentment. He looks so unbelievably happy, like he couldn’t wipe that grin off his face if he tried.

  I like that I’m the one who put it there. I like that a lot.

  We drive the fifteen or so minutes in rush hour to my flat, listening to NPR and lost in our own thoughts.

  I still haven’t gotten to all the laundry that is waiting for me at home. No doubt that will take up the majority of my day, but I also need to try and get some rest before my night shift tonight. That’s really the hardest thing to do—sleeping during the day before you start working a series of nights when your body is still used to the grind of day shifts.

  My circadian rhythm is a disaster because of this.

  “What time are you working tonight?” Luke asks as we pull up in front of my building.

  “My shift starts at eight, so I have to leave around seven-thirty.”

  “Can I bring you an early dinner?” He laughs lightly. “I know you said you don’t like eating at five-thirty, but that may be the only time to do it.”

  “Sure, dinner would be great.” His smile grows even bigger as he undoes his seatbelt, moving like he’s getting out of the car too. “You don’t have to walk me up. I’m sure you’re already late.”

  “I want to walk you up.” It’s that simple and I don’t argue as I wait for him to open my door. He seems to appreciate playing the part of the gentleman.

  I unlock the door and Luke dutifully trudges up the four floors behind me, his eyes glued to my bottom the entire way.

  Maybe not such the gentleman after all.

  After unlocking my door, I hesitate on the threshold, knowing he has to leave, but not wanting him to go.

  It has only been one weekend with him, but the ever-present giddy sensation in my chest, coupled with the fact that I can’t get enough of being around him, means I’m in trouble. This feels too much like fledgling relationship excitement. This feels like the start of something momentous and life-altering. This just feels too much.

  The longer we stand here, staring at each other with easy smiles, electricity builds, popping and crackling between us, leading us up to a brilliant crescendo. My body is humming with the current, and I know he feels it too. It’s pronounced and explicit and if he doesn’t leave this very moment I—

  “Fuck work, I can be late,” Luke says as he comes at me predatorily. His mouth crashes into mine almost painfully as he wraps his arms around my bottom, lifting me effortlessly and walking us into my apartment. His foot kicks back, slamming my door shut, and before I can even make sense of anything, he presses me up against it. My legs hug his waist, one foot crossed over the other, dangling above his perfect backside.

  Our need is primal, our movements sloppy as he tries to rip my jacket off my shoulders without dropping me. I laugh into his mouth, pushing back on his chest for him to release me so I can aid in his effort. My jacket hits the floor with a loud slap, followed by his and then his mouth is back on mine.

  My fingers yank his dress shirt from his trousers, before greedily attacking each button, needing to touch his gorgeous chest and sculpted abs.

  My sweater doesn’t stand a chance as he rips it over my head, tossing it somewhere behind him. His mouth comes down to the tops of my breasts as his hands cup and squeeze. Heated lips continue to trail down before pausing above the snap of my leather pants.

  “No fucking way am I’m going to be able to get these things off of you while you’re standing.” With that declaration he scoops me up into his arms, bride-style this time, carrying me across my apartment and into the bedroom, never removing his mouth from mine once.

  Tossing me on the bed with a heavy bounce, I laugh before it stutters and dies in my throat. The look he’s giving me is like nothing I have ever seen before. This one expression could set the room ablaze with the amount of heat it’s producing.

  I don’t wait for him to go after my leather pants, I do the honors myself as he watches, his eyes at half-mast and practically black with desire.

  Never in my life have I ever felt so wanted.

  The second everything is off, including my bra, Luke is back on me, everywhere. His fingers find their way to my most sensitive place as his mouth suckles and claims my breasts.

  He is relentless and hungry and within minutes, I shatter, splintering off into a million tiny pieces.

  “What the hell is that?” I laugh as consciousness slowly comes back to me.

  “A condom, baby. As a doctor and a woman I would hope you’ve seen these before.”

  “You said you didn’t have any.”

  He lifts a shoulder in a shrug, smiling playfully. “I lied.”

  I smack his chest, but my ire instantly evaporates as he removes his pants and opens the condom with his teeth.

  The moment he slides inside of me, everything changes.

  This is nothing like the sex we had ten years ago. This is nothing like sex I’ve ever had with anyone.

  Luke is rough yet gentle, tender yet unrelenting. He is everything and everywhere, and as we move together like the practiced lovers we are not, I feel myself letting go completely.

  This isn’t love-making or even fucking.

  This is something new we’re creating, leading to a finish that I am both urgent for and desperate to stave off. We move together. Our thrusts set to a perfectly timed rhythm.

  “Ivy. Jesus hell, Ivy,” he groans in my ear. “You feel so good. So unbelievably perfect.” I can only nod, my speaking voice nowhere to be found. “Tell me you feel this. Tell me you feel just how absolutely profoundly
incredible this is.”

  “Yes,” I breathe. “Yes,” I moan. “Oh, god. Yes,” I cry out as my climax spirals out of control.

  My eyes close as I try to steady my racing heart and slow my breathing.

  I’m smiling. It can’t be helped and there is no sense in trying to hide it.

  Luke growls and I slowly open one lid, peering over at him. “How on earth am I supposed to get anything productive done today?” He props himself up on his elbow, gazing down at me. “All I’m going to be able to do all day is think about the phenomenal sex we just had, and the fact that I’ll be able to smell you on me isn’t going to help that.”

  “So this is my fault?”

  “Yes. Unequivocally.” His lips find mine, but it’s just a brushing of them before he draws back and begins to get dressed. “I want to stay here with you so fucking bad, but I have a meeting and if I don’t show for it, Ryan will be pissed as hell.”

  I sit up, grabbing my lavender robe from off the chair and wrapping it around myself. “It’s fine, I’ve waylaid you enough.”

  “You have, but it was one hell of a waylaying. You can do that to me anytime.” Luke jumps off my bed, reaching down and bringing me with him, enfolding me in his arms. “In fact, I plan on waylaying you a lot. Every chance I get. Now that I’ve had you again, Ivy Green, there is no way I can stop. You’re like heroin, crack, and meth all rolled up into one perfect package.”

  “That’s oddly flattering, considering the reference.”

  He kisses me long and hard, bending me back like they do in old movies for effect. “I gotta go,” Luke whispers against my lips. “I’ll see you at four-thirty.”

  I laugh, pushing him back as I walk him to the door. “I thought you said five-thirty?”

  “I did,” he confirms. “But that was before the mind-blowing sex. I plan to get here an hour earlier and spend that entire time inside of you.”

  “Who can say no to that?” I muse.

  Cupping my face, his lighthearted expression turns serious and genuine. “I’m having way too much fun with you, Ivy. And it’s not just the sex. All I seem to want to do is be near you. I can’t get enough,” he says, mirroring my thoughts from earlier. He kisses me again conveying something so deep I’m afraid to put a name to it before pulling back and walking out the door.

  “Me too,” I whisper to myself, shutting and locking the door behind him.

  What am I going to do now?

  Chapter 11

  Luke

  “A night away doesn’t fall under the no-strings sex realm, does it?” Ivy asks as we head north toward Mt. Baker. “Especially, to survey a house your best friend is getting married in.”

  “What do you want me to tell you, sweetheart? Ryan wanted to show Kate the cabin and asked for my opinion as well. You just so happen to have the night off. I’m not missing out on that for this stupid fucking thing, and I can’t really say no to him either, so here we are.”

  “But Kate mentioned skiing. I don’t ski, Luke. I thought I made that one clear.” She’s flustered now. And a little nervous, I think. She considers a night away to be a big deal. Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t, but I believe the real issue is that the good doctor here likes me. In fact, I think Ivy likes me a lot.

  But she really doesn’t want to.

  I reach for her hand and intertwine our fingers. “You don’t have to ski, baby. In fact, that’s not on my agenda.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I see Ivy’s lips bouncing, though she looks like she’s trying to hide her smirk.

  “You have an agenda, do you? Why do I get the feeling it will involve me being naked?”

  “Because that sort of agenda definitely fits within the realm of no-strings sex, and I happen to like you naked. It’s one of my favorite looks for you, and from what Ryan has told me, there are plenty of places I can keep you that way.”

  Ivy snorts dubiously. “Ryan told you all the places where you can keep me naked?”

  I roll my eyes at her as I switch lanes. “No, baby, that would be a ridiculous conversation for us to have. He told me about the private hot tub on our balcony, and the huge walk-in shower in our en-suite, and the fur of some sort of animal rug in front of our fire place, and the giant four poster king-sized bed.”

  “That seems like a lot of places given our time constraints. We’re not even up here for twenty-four hours. At some point we’ll need to eat, sleep, and converse with Kate and Ryan.”

  “Sleeping, and conversing with Kate and Ryan are overrated, and not high on my priority list.” I give her hand a squeeze before bringing it up to my mouth for a light kiss. “You’re a doctor, Ivy. You’re used to functioning on no sleep. What good is having regular sex with a doctor if I can’t take advantage of that small bonus?”

  I look over at her quickly, my eyes jumping back and forth between her and the nearly empty highway.

  Ivy turns to the window, trying to hide her smile. In reality, she’s being a good sport about coming on this little impromptu trip. I know she’s exhausted because I picked her up at work after her night shift, which means she hasn’t slept.

  I also have to get her back to work tomorrow for her next night shift.

  And then after that, her schedule picks up and she has virtually no days off for at least another week or so.

  It’s going to make that whole regular sex thing I just mentioned difficult to continue. It’s also going to make seeing her a challenge because our schedules won’t coincide unless I blow off work. I’m all for that under normal circumstances, but Ryan and I have a big project in the works and now is not the time for slacking off. We’re in the midst of writing a shit-ton of a code for some new software we’re developing.

  Which is why I’m not kidding when I tell her I plan on spending every possible second of the next however long with her, and the more time we can do that naked, the better. But really, I just want to be near her.

  Because, well, I’m crazy about her.

  I am.

  It’s a terrible thing and a dangerous thing, and it means I could get really hurt when she’s gone in a few weeks. It’s not like I can even change her mind and make her stay.

  I can’t.

  This is the direction her life is headed in, and the other night when I casually asked if Boston was the only fellowship to be had, she said it was not only one of the best in the country, but that all the other fellowships worth having are taken. She said she’s finished her two-year fellowship contract here and now to get her certificate she’s going to Boston. Evidently she’d made that arrangement long before I came into the picture and it’s too late to change it.

  So there you have it folks.

  It’s a no-win situation.

  This is not just her career but her life’s work, and unfortunately, it’s taking her 3,114 miles away. Yes, I looked it up on Google maps. I’m just that sort of stalker.

  And to keep the shit end of things going, Ivy’s not coming home for a visit this year. Her parents will be joining her for Christmas, and according to her she gets no real vacation time. She’s there to learn, she reminded me in a very stern, authoritative voice that I found way too appealing.

  So unless I plan on traveling out to see her, which she has not even so much as suggested, we’re really sticking with these four weeks and then done thing. And we’re already a week in.

  I hate it. I fucking hate that idea to the point where I can’t even begin to entertain the notion of not seeing her every day.

  And here’s the ultimate question, how do things like that happen? I mean, I was getting by without an issue before her. Sure, my life wasn’t exactly complete or full or whatever, but I managed. I had occasional women that fulfilled my needs and that seemed to suit me fine.

  But now? Now those women seem empty.

  Anything other than Ivy seems empty and meaningless, and goddamn pointless.

  I think about her constantly. She’s always on my mind. And if I’m not obsessing over her, then
I’m probably sleeping, because as I just said, she’s always on my mind. So what do I do with that? How do I go from nothing, to Ivy, and back to nothing?

  Fuck if I know. So I try not to think about it. I try to live in the moment with her.

  Because that’s all we have together.

  We pull into the ‘cabin’ and both Ivy and I look out the windshield at the place and then at each other, and then back at the cabin and then we both crack up. It’s not a cabin so much as it is a multimillion-dollar monstrosity in the mountains that was built to look like a cabin.

  “You’re kidding me with this, right?” I laugh, taken aback, though I feel like I shouldn’t be.

  I look over to Ivy who’s smiling and shaking her head. “This is where they’re getting married?”

  I shrug, “Guess so. Let’s go in and have a look.”

  Ivy takes my hand and we rush to the front door. It’s cold up here in the mountains, though the snow is gone from everywhere except the mountain peaks.

  I open the door with a knock and we walk in, looking around the palatial great room we’re instantly greeted with.

  “Well, it’s certainly big enough,” Ivy says and I can’t help but agree. “I mean, it’s gorgeous and grand, but wow. Just wow.”

  “I know. I wasn’t really expecting this, but I don’t think I should be fully surprised here. Ryan tends to go over the top when it comes to the Duchess.”

  “Hey,” Ryan’s voice startles both of us as he enters, probably because the sound reverberates all around us, echoing off the tall ceilings. “What do you think? Katie says it’s too much, but where else are you supposed to fit thirty-five people for a wedding?”

  “A hotel?” I deadpan. “Just throwing that out there.” Ryan flips me off, but I can see the hurt in his eyes and I know how much this means to him. “Nah, I’m just messing with you, bro. This place is awesome.”

  “Yeah?” He looks so damn hopeful it almost makes me want to mess with him more.

  “It’s aces, Ryan. Truly great. Seeing this gorgeous house makes me heartbroken that I’m going to miss the big event.” Ivy walks up to Ryan, giving him a big hug and a pat on the shoulder. She whispers something to him that I can’t hear, but it has him smiling and possibly . . . is he blushing?