by Flora Dare
Except the heavy hand of an alpha didn't come down on her shoulder. No, it slammed down on his when Bates put himself between them. "Dammit, Reid.” The Redby Alpha grumbled. “You've been working on this asshole thing. A wedding is not the time to slip up." A growl slipped out of the other wolf, but it was cut short by a hard squeeze from the Alpha. "Now apologize to the Mother of the Bride."
Reid clenched his teeth and curled his lips in a smile that mirrored Magda’s. "My apologies.” The words came from between his gritted teeth. “I did not mean to be rude. I was only wondering when you were moving."
"I'm quite content at my mother's home.” She sniffed. “The B&B is really lovely and we do have a bit of catching up to do." She had no intention of being rude, but she was never going to join the pack. Ever. "I enjoy Grayslake and I like being close to my daughter."
A woman slipped up beside her. "Magda, Mia has told me so much about you. I know there is so much happening right now, but I'd love to do lunch and have a good gossip. I'm Zoey. That lunkhead is my brother.” She raised an eyebrow at Reid. "He's working on the jerk thing." She turned to Reid, "Besides, Ty granted her Visitation as long as she wants in Grayslake. And so did Bates.” Zoey wiggled her fingers. “So go find your mate and make kissy face."
Reid crinkled his brow and frowned. "But she's a full wolf shifter, she really should be part of the Redby Pack. It's where she came from."
Magda shook her head, unwilling to be drawn back into that mess. "Not to be rude, but I have no intention of joining a pack. Any pack or clan or flock of shifters. Pack politics are nothing but trouble."
A deep laugh broke the tension. Magda almost stepped toward the source, everything inside her demanding she get closer to the male. The tall and deeply charismatic doctor she'd been carefully avoiding now stood nearby.
His gaze landed on her and stayed there while he spoke. "I've stitched up far too many hotheaded cubs and pups to deny that. Ladies, Gentlemen, I don't know if you noticed the dancing is about to start and Lira promised me Magda for the first dance."
Before she could demur and put him off, he'd whisked her away from the group. He led her onto the dance floor, his hand settled on her waist while the other clasped her hand. His heat sank through the thin fabric of her dress and his scent invaded her senses. He was too close, too big, too much of a temptation.
They slowly drifted across the floor and he leaned in close. "You waltz beautifully."
He was perfectly proper, but Magda felt slightly scandalized by his hands on her. Her cheeks burned when she realized it was because his slightest touch set desire alight within her. She murmured, "Thank you. And thank you for interrupting. That conversation wasn't going to get any better."
"Lira really did ask me to dance with you."
"So you're only dancing with me as a favor for my daughter?" Her bubble of joy burst.
He shook his head. "No, not a bit. I took advantage of her good nature because I wanted to dance with you and didn't think you'd say yes unless it was for her."
Her eyes dropped to his chest and she said, "Oh." Magda couldn't help but smile a little. It was nice to have a handsome man want to dance with her. It had been a long time since she felt desired.
"Oh, indeed. It's what set my course over to you, but I'm glad I was able to spirit you away from Reid. He's our resident alphahole, but he's working on it. Still, when he gets an idea in his head, it's hard to smack it loose. Better to whisk you away to the dance floor."
They took a few more turns around the dance floor before Magda spoke again. "Well, I am enjoying myself."
The song ended and he escorted her away from the crowd, but didn’t release her. "Can I convince you to walk with me?"
Visions of dark paths and hot kisses danced in her vision and for one glorious moment, Magda considered slipping away with the handsome doctor and seeing if his kisses set her aflame as she imagined.
But before she could say yes, Jake's voice rang out through the crowd. "Thank you all so much for joining us. Before they roll out the buffet, we wanted to take a moment, to thank you all for being here with us. The last few years have been tumultuous ones for both the Grayslake clan and the Redby pack." He cleared his throat and smiled at Lira. "Lira asked that we take a moment of silence to remember those lost to the violence of the past, including her own father."
A solemn hush fell over the crowd and Magda went cold. Instead of being on a lawn lit by a thousand twinkling fairy lights, Magda was in the car with Stuart, Deirdre and her mate. The women were in the backseat as they drove out of town, when a heavy pickup roared next to them. Unable to push them off the road, instead it passed them and clipped their front bumper as he cut them off.
Instead of the music and laughter she heard the sickening sound of bending metal and the moans of dying men. The smell of blood clung to her as a hand touched her shoulder.
"Magda?" She was trapped between her memory and the present until her eyes snapped open with that voice. Marc's grey eyes were soft with concern. "Magda, are you okay?"
Gathering her wits, she said, "I'm sorry, I have to go." She didn't wait for a response as she turned and fled.
Chapter Eight
The rest of the reception had gone by in a blur. Magda went through all the motions until she could finally escape. She could have kissed Mia for refusing to allow her to help clean up, instead sending her home.
Now she was wrapped up in a fuzzy robe and sitting in the window seat in her bedroom, watching first the stars then the lightening sky. Magda tried to press down the memories as she'd always done, but something about Marc had triggered old, buried pain.
Her and Deirdre giggling together. Talking about the new lives they were going to lead, away from the overbearing politics of shifter life. Her own mother had been aghast at the thought of her taking a human mate. Thought she must be wrong, that is was purely lust that would burn out in due time. Being young, running away to elope seemed like the best course of action. Neither of the girls really expected to stay away from Grayslake for long. Once they were married and they'd had their babies, they'd be welcomed back. Except instead of a short exile, two long decades stretched out for Magda.
She tried to pull her mind away from the memory of the accident. But it was like a blur of snapshots overwhelming her. Sounds, the screaming. And so much blood. Then waking up in the hospital. Her secret loss, that she demanded the doctor keep to himself.
A strange hard shell wrapped around her as she lay there, healing. Stuart was gone and she was ashes inside. When anyone from the pack tried to speak to her, she turned away. Everyone said they never meant for it to go so far, for anyone to actually die.
But she'd known what they meant. She was expected to give up her mate, because the Alpha demanded it. That they'd claimed each other was of no matter to that drunken bastard. He was the Alpha. He was to be obeyed. And when he'd asked, no, when he'd told her she'd be moving into the pack's house, she stared at him with cold eyes. She understood what his leer meant, she would be away from the protection of her mother. Leaving with a man had made her an adult in his eyes. Someone to be used.
Deirdre held her hand tight and shortly after he left, had everything arranged. Magda smiled at the memory. The sister of her heart simply made things happen. After a few phone calls, they simply walked out of the hospital that night and lost themselves in the human world.
Perhaps if Magda hadn't lost her pup, she wouldn't have blocked herself completely from the shifter world. Or maybe Deirdre, having been an orphan until Grace adopted her, couldn't stand to completely cut herself off. It was something they'd never talked about. For a long time, Deirdre didn't even tell Magda she was writing Grace.
Magda watched the sky turn pink and finally got up. She headed downstairs. If she couldn't sleep, she could at least make some coffee and have some breakfast. Maybe she'd finally beaten her mom downstairs.
Except of course, Grace was fussing over the stove.
Grace said, "
I was wondering when you'd finally come downstairs."
"Do you ever sleep?"
"Do you?"
It wasn't a challenge, though. Her mother's tone was soft, almost gentle. Magda slumped in the chair. It was an odd sensation, discovering she wanted to share all of this with her mother.
"Not tonight at least. I couldn't sleep."
Grace put a cup of coffee in front of Magda, then paused, unease written across her face. "Tell me to shut up, or mind my own business if I'm out of line. But, something happened tonight."
Magda nodded.
"When they talked about loss. You were thinking of Stuart."
"It made me think of him, yes."
Grace put the coffee carafe between them and sat down next to her. She said, "You haven't been with anyone since him, have you?"
"I've dated. Even had sex with other men, merely to ease my needs." Magda looked past her mother.
"But they weren't Stuart."
"They weren't my mate." Magda refused to let anyone, even her mother, diminish what Stuart was to her.
"Of course not. They never satisfied, quite right, did they?"
"No. It was pleasant enough. But there was never that fire, the connection." Magda slumped back into the chair, past being embarrassed about talking about her sex life with her mother.
Grace said, "But Marc, he makes you feel something, doesn't he? He just has to look at you."
Heat flooded Magda’s cheeks. "How did you know?"
"Child, please. You do know I have eyes? I saw how you looked at him, at the wedding. For a moment, you glowed." Grace grinned and took a sip of her coffee.
"I barely saw him."
"You danced with him, beautifully, I might add. Then, you looked at each other like no one else was there."
"But clearly, other people were there." Magda was embarrassed her mother had seen her so vulnerable.
Grace said, "Well, no one had asked me to dance yet, so I was people watching. But you shut down in that moment, you looked utterly withdrawn as you walked away, like you were pulled back into your shell, again."
Grace let the long silence grow between them, until Magda finally felt compelled to talk. "I did, Momma. I felt that wild, carefree passion and it was so good and so clean. And I hadn't felt like that since the night Stuart died. But I wasn't thinking about him, not at all. All I could think about was Marc. If Jake hadn't started speaking, and broken the moment? I never would have thought about Stuart. And the fact that I hadn't thought of him, that I'd forgotten for a moment, it triggered remembering that night. All I could see was the accident, playing over and over again in my head. The screams and the blood and the pain."
"You've been up the whole night, haven't you?"
She nodded and sipped her coffee.
Grace continued, "There's something more, isn't there?"
Magda winced away from her mother's insight but finally nodded. "It wasn't only that I hadn't thought of him. Everyone else I've been with? I was thinking of him, missing him. And I wasn't. And in that moment, I also realized, when I thought of him? It was from pictures of him. I can't pull up exactly what he looked like from memory. I pull up pictures I have of him. My memories are compromised. How could I forget him? How could I betray him like that?"
Grace wrapped her hands around Magda's. "Oh beloved, that's the cruelty of memory and the salvation of our futures. Memories fade away. So slowly we don't notice. The further away we get from them, the harder it is to see them clearly."
Magda nodded, tears flowing down her face. "But to forget him, he gave up everything for me, including his life. He knew it was dangerous, that he could be killed. That I could shift and easily kill him. But he trusted me. And I forgot."
"You didn't forget him, you still remember your love."
"What does it mean that I forgot him so completely with the touch of another man?"
"After over twenty years? That you are still here, still breathing and loving. Do you think Stuart would have wanted you to wither away? To be empty inside, filled only with longing?"
Magda laughed. "He was so kind hearted. I'm sure he'd be absolutely furious with me. How dare I not go on to have a happy fulfilled life. Except, I never met anyone who could even hold a candle to him. So why partner with someone who I didn't love, couldn't love? That would be unfair to them, merely using them."
"Except the good doctor, he gives you pause. You could love him. If you let yourself."
"Well, we're physically compatible, but that doesn't mean I could love him, that I'm capable of loving anyone that way. I don't even know him well enough to decide if I want to know who he is."
Grace said, "Well, you both live in the same small town."
"He's embroiled in pack matters and you know how I feel about that."
"No one will make you join the pack."
Magda snapped, "That's clearly not what Reid thinks."
"Well, it's not up to him." Grace snapped in return, giving her the same attitude.
"For now. He'll be Alpha again one day. I've spent too many years alone to be enslaved by a puffed up male."
"Well, Reid isn't that bad. He's good, inside. Deep."
Magda shrugged. "Says you. He'd still try to force me to his will. And I'd rather be alone than accept that."
"You are under Ty's protection." Her mother pointed at Magda. “Besides, Reid is busy in Brooksville running his own bear clan.”
Magda pursed her lips, trying to make her mother see her point. "So my freedom is at the whim of another man—a bear? I don't care for that at all."
Grace sigh. "I understand. Still, you live in Grayslake now and like it or not, pack life, clan life, it's important here."
"I know that. There are always hierarchies, even in the human world. They'll have no reason to hassle me, I simply want a quiet life." Magda slumped back in her chair. "I want to watch Lira and Jake start a family, free from all the darkness of the past."
Grace said, "And you want to hold a fat, little baby."
"How cute are their kids going to be? Aren't you excited to be a great grandmama?"
"Perish the thought! Although I suppose I could be Super Memaw, if you wanted to be called Memaw."
Chapter Nine
Magda once more sat in her window seat, looking out over the woods that bordered the B&B. The warm afternoon glow made her restless, like she should shift and go into the woods and run until her paws wouldn't carry her any further.
In the few days since the wedding, she'd been getting more and more edgy. She didn't think she was unhappy with her choice to stay in Grayslake. But something was making her antsy and unable to focus. Puttering around the B&B was nice, but it wasn't like there was anything to do. She actually missed her old job.
There was a soft knock at the door and Nancy said, "Hey Auntie Mags, can I come in?"
She smiled. The bubbly young girl didn't leave a lot of room for angsty brooding. "Of course, dear, come in."
The teen bounced into the room and said, "Memaw said dinner was important tonight. Ty and Mia and Bates and Zoey are def gonna be here." Nancy opened the closet and rummaged around. "Helen and I are gonna watch the baby over at the clan house, so I gotta motor."
Magda's head tilted as she watched the teen riffling through her closet until she pulled a dress out. "Are you planning on asking me to borrow something?"
The teen's face screwed up in distaste. "Uh, no. Not a bit." She gasped and flapped her hands. "Not that you don't dress totally cute, but it's not what I would wear. It's just that Memaw said she wanted you to wear this dress and I figured it was easier to find it than try and describe it." Nancy thrust the dress at Magda and turned for the door. "I'm going to leave and shut up now before I ruin every future birthday ever."
A giggle escaped from Magda and she said, "Thanks for backpedaling so nicely. I appreciate it. Tell her I'll wear the dress."
Nancy smiled at her aunt and blew her a kiss. "Guests should be arriving in about 45 minutes, so slap
your best face on!" She paused, slightly unsure and said, "For what it's worth, Memaw actually looked a little nervous about this. I guess this is supposed to develop into some sort of neutral meeting ground?"
Magda said, "I take it she shooed you out of the closet before you could overhear anymore?"
"Well, I mean, yeah." She shrugged her shoulders. "Totally took the book I was reading too. So mean. I was almost done! Now I'll never know if the Dragon of Preor gets his mate!"
With that, Nancy skipped out of the room and ran down the stairs.
Magda shook her head as she laughed and muttered to herself, "I don't remember ever being that young and carefree."
She looked at the dress that had been picked out for her. Interesting. Most of her clothes were on the sleek and modern end, stern suits cut for a fuller figure. This was a splurge for her, a fun and almost flouncy dress. Not what she would have chosen if it was a serious business event.
For a moment, she wondered if she should wear something else, but her mother would have no problem sending her upstairs to change, even if company had already arrived.
Magda put the dress on.
***
Marc paced nervously in the parlor. When Maybelle asked him to be her escort to dinner, he didn't expect it to be at Grace's B&B. And definitely not with all the local shifter leaders. Of course he wasn't going to say no, it would be very rude.
And Magda would be there. Maybelle was no fool, when he'd hesitated, she patted his hand and said, "Oh honey, you won't have to be bored to death by the old biddies. Magda will be there."
His heart sped up. He had to see her again. He'd been trying to casually run into her since she dashed away at the wedding. Marc had been so sure she was going to walk with him, to run wild in the woods with him, until she was suddenly gone.
Which left him standing there, wondering what he'd done wrong. One moment, he could feel her blood surging. She had to feel the mating call he did. But then, she looked like she was a million miles away, then darted away from him without saying a word or giving him a backward glance.
