by V. K. Sykes
As they talked over wine, Emma prepared a simple meal of roast chicken and Caesar salad. Reed arrived home, they ate, and after the kids were excused and retreated back upstairs, Maddie and Reed caught up on their respective careers while they helped Emma do the dishes and tidy up.
After Reed left for his poker game, Emma organized the kids and put them to bed. She then led Maddie into the comfy den and clicked the remote of the CD player. The low, mellow tones of Diana Krall softly filled the room.
Sighing with pleasure, Maddie took a seat on the over-stuffed sofa and pulled her legs up under her. The room had a big gas fireplace which poured out warmth and soft lighting. For the first time in days she began to relax, and she gave Emma a grateful smile when her friend handed her a cup of cinnamon-spiced decaf coffee in a generous mug.
“So, now that we’ve talked about everything else,” Emma said with a little grin, “let’s talk about the good stuff. What have you been doing for sex lately?”
Maddie rolled her eyes. Emma was nothing if not direct. Her old friend knew all about her reluctance to engage in casual or meaningless relationships, so she was clearly yanking her chain.
“What’s sex? Oh yeah, now I remember. That’s what vibrators are for, right?”
They both dissolved into laughter, although in Maddie’s case her joke was actually a pretty accurate assessment of her sex life.
“That bad, still?” Emma said after she stopped giggling.
“Stone cold bad. It’s not that I don’t get asked out. Once in a while some new guy at the paper tries his luck. And sometimes I meet interesting guys from news agencies or TV stations at the games. I get a dinner or two at nice restaurants, but honestly that’s about as far as I’ve ever wanted to go since I know most of those guys aren’t remotely serious. I’m not jumping into bed with a guy just because I’m a little horny.”
“A little horny? Sister, you must be climbing the walls by now. But I hear you. I was so lucky to meet Reed when we were young. Thank God I was spared all that dating angst.”
Maddie wrinkled her nose. “Some women love it—the dating, not the angst. My friend Martha at the paper, for one. But I guess I’m old-fashioned, like my mom. For me, sex without love isn’t worth much. Maybe it’s not even worth anything.”
“I’m with you, honey,” Emma mused softly. “I hope something good happens for you soon, though, Mad. It should, because you’ve got it all. Any guy in the world should want to have you and love you forever. I know it’ll happen soon for you. It’s bound to.”
Maddie rolled her lips together, trying to decide how much to confide. “Well… there is something, now that you mention it. But I don’t think it’s going to work out.”
“What?” Emma jerked upright, reaching across the plump cushions scattered between them to poke her in the shoulder. “Give it up, girl!”
“Well, if you insist,” she drawled in a teasing voice.
“I insist,” Emma practically yelled.
Maddie laughed. “Okay. One of the Patriots players seems to have taken an interest in me. Have you heard of Jake Miller?”
Emma thought for maybe a few seconds. “No, but you know me. I don’t exactly follow sports. I’m sure Reed would know who he is.”
“Oh, there’s no doubt about that. Miller has been one of the biggest stars to come along in the last ten years. Anyway, you don’t care about that, so I’ll skip the baseball card bio. Jake was called up earlier this month, back when I was in San Diego travelling with the team. He was badly injured at the beginning of last year, and missed the whole season. In fact, he even had to spend a couple of months playing in the minors this season, too.”
Emma made an impatient get on with it gesture.
“Okay, I’m getting there. After Miller finally got called up, I figured I’d do a big story on him—the whole comeback thing. It would be a coup if I could get him to open up about himself, because he’s notorious for refusing to talk about anything but his game on the field. When I finally approached him for an interview, he agreed, but insisted we do it away from the park, privately.”
She paused, remembering the weird intensity of that first meeting. “The way he looked at me, Emma…well, it was amazing. Anyway, to make a long story short, let’s just say I did something really stupid and agreed to meet him in LaJolla for dinner.”
“What’s stupid about that?” Emma said with a puzzled expression.
“That kind of thing is a complete no-no for reporters. The teams have strict rules against it. You can ask a player questions in a scrum in the hallway or locker room, but for an in-depth, formal interview you have to have it set up by the team’s PR guy, and conduct it at the ballpark. That way they have control over what’s going on.” She shook her head. “It’s a crappy system for getting a really good, in-depth story, but that’s the only way the teams will play it.”
“So, you blew that off and met Miller for dinner, right?”
Maddie smiled wistfully. “Unfortunately, I did. And it turned out to be a great interview. I couldn’t believe how Jake opened up for me. He talked about practically every aspect of his life. In fact, I’ve never had a player get quite that personal before. It was like he really wanted me to be able to write a great story. He didn’t treat me like the enemy, which a lot of players do.”
“Interesting. What else happened?”
Now she began to feel uncomfortable. How to explain something she didn’t quite understand herself? “Ah, there was a hell of a lot of chemistry between us, I guess you could say. And all night long Jake looked like he wanted to climb across the table and, well, you know. Not that he’s a caveman,” she rushed to add. “He’s surprisingly sophisticated, and acted like a gentleman all evening, but I could tell exactly what he was thinking.”
“Men,” Emma said, shaking her head. “What else do they ever think of? But, then again, I say thank God for that!”
They both started laughing again, easing the tension of the moment.
“And what were you thinking?” Emma asked.
Maddie stared down into her half-empty mug. “I had so many emotions running through me it’s a miracle I ever got through the damn interview. I guess what I was feeling wasn’t too far from what he was feeling. That I wanted to spend time with him, get to know him. And you cannot believe how attractive and sexy he is.” Lord, just thinking about the man made her blush.
Emma grinned. “Smoking hot, huh?”
“Totally on fire hot. He’s really big and built, but not coarse at all. He’s smart and gentle and sensitive. A small-town, family-first kind of guy, which is very, very appealing.” Especially to Maddie, who’d always yearned to be part of a big family.
“You say you both wanted to… so did you?” Emma asked.
Maddie gave her friend a sheepish smile. “No. We went for a walk down to the oceanfront, and he tried to kiss me. But I pulled back. The thing is, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted it more than I can tell you. But I had to think about what it would do to my career if I got involved with him.”
Emma looked skeptical. “Would it really be that bad? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“Sorry, Em. You’re not looking at it from the other point of view. A sportswriter can’t be objective about the game if she’s involved with one of the players. That’s what’s holding me back. Well, that and the fact that Patriots management could probably get me fired.” She sighed, starting to feel exhausted and depressed again. “Jake says he understands my situation, but he wants us to say to hell with it and see each other, anyway. Yesterday when we were together at a golf tournament, he followed me into the woods, shoved me up against a tree, and kissed me hard. My knees buckled, literally. God, we weren’t far from having sex right there in the woods, even with our playing partners back in the fairway waiting for us.”
Emma bounced excitedly in her seat. “Cool! You should have let them wait!” When Maddie gave her a dumbfounded look, her friend shrugged her shoulders. “
Okay, I hear you. But did that change anything? Did it make you want to give him a try after all?”
“Of course. But I can’t. I’d be risking everything I ever worked for.”
“Mad, you’re not really answering the question,” Emma said in a gentle voice. “You can tell yourself a thousand times a day that it’d be risky. The question is would it be worth the risk? Is he worth the risk? What if he’s the one?”
Maddie put her cup down on the coffee table, refusing to meet Emma’s gaze. As usual, her friend didn’t let her get away with the avoidance ploy.
“Maddie, I know you,” Emma continued, “and it sure sounds to me like you’re fighting a losing battle with yourself. You’re working so hard to convince yourself that a relationship with Jake is too dangerous that I think you may be missing the point.”
“And what point would that be?” Maddie asked in a sarcastic tone. She winced. “Sorry.”
Emma gave a magnanimous wave. “No worries. The point is that some things are worth taking a risk for. Just like some things are worth fighting for. You don’t know how it will turn out in the end, but you do it anyway because just the act of doing it is worth it. So the question for you comes down to this—is Jake Miller worth taking a risk for? It sure sounds to me like he might be. Hell, Mad, you’ve described the perfect man. I’m ready to date him.”
Maddie snorted and reached for the carafe to refill her mug. Truthfully, she was giving herself time to think. Like a true friend, Emma fell silent and let her do just that.
Emma’s words had startled her, but in the big picture they also made a lot of sense. Despite her innate caution, Maddie had always believed some things were indeed worth taking a risk for, worth fighting for. Her dad had taught her that, and after he died her mom had carried on with that philosophy. So why hadn’t she been able to see that when it came to Jake? It dawned on her that she’d been so fixed on worrying about what the outcome would be, fearing the worst, that she’d lost sight of what was really important—giving herself a chance for the kind of life she’d always wanted.
And giving Jake a chance, too, by not succumbing to her ever-present fear of failure. True, they barely knew each other, but they’d shared a powerful connection from the get-go. Maddie didn’t really believe in love at first sight, but she did believe that the universe sometimes presented golden opportunities, and she’d be a fool to ignore the one currently dropped into her lap.
She let out a quiet laugh, acknowledging the enormous sense of relief flooding through her. Maybe Emma was right, after all.
After taking a couple of deep, steadying breaths, she finally found the courage to speak the words. “You’re absolutely right. You’ve always been the wise one, and I’m so lucky to have you.”
Emma slid across the sofa and hugged her, and Maddie couldn’t help but choke up. “I know I’m a total control freak,” she said. “I never want to do anything unless I know exactly how it’s going to turn out. And I’m always afraid that something bad is going to happen.”
Her friend held her at arm’s length, studying her. “I know, Mad. But don’t beat yourself up. It’s not like the universe has been handing you and your mom bowls of cherries these last few years. But I truly believe things will come right for you in the end if you give them a chance. You’re a good person, and you totally deserve the love of a good man. To me, it sounds like Jake Miller just might be the right kind of man for the job.”
Maddie nodded. “I don’t think I’ve got a choice but to try it. Because, really, this is no way to live. I’ve been going crazy over it.”
“Look, you’ve got a couple of days here where you can relax and have some fun with us. Spend some time thinking things through.” Emma stood, picking up the empty coffee mugs. “I know you’re going to do the right thing when you get back. I can feel it. But for now, why don’t we do something really bad and have some of that double-fudge chocolate cake I bought this afternoon?”
Maddie smiled, relishing the sense of relief and gratitude enveloping her. For the first time in days, she felt right. “I’m with you. Got any Haagen-Dazs to go with it?”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
After she returned home from Worcester, Maddie had had little time to do more than unpack her bag and pack a larger suitcase because early the next morning she was on the Patriots’ crack-of-dawn flight to Chicago, about to cover the three-game stand against the Cubs. She loved those afternoon games at Wrigley Field, where thousands of Chicago faithful skipped work or whatever else they should be doing to enjoy an afternoon of baseball in a beautiful, historic ballpark.
The time she’d spent at Emma’s had given her a chance to think. Of course she still worried about her career and how a relationship with Jake could actually work, but she was tired of being afraid. Right now what she knew for sure was that she wanted to give him a chance to make his case. She would fly to Chicago with the team and simply let the chips fall.
Maddie had desperately wanted to get a decent night’s sleep before the alarm rang at five. Visiting her mother was always emotionally draining, and a longer than usual drive home in a traffic-snarling rainstorm had exhausted her. But instead of getting a good sleep, she had tossed and turned, her restless thoughts filled with Jake Miller and the uncertainty the next day would bring. She’d had to call up all her reserves to pull herself together so she looked half-decent when she got to the airport and boarded the plane.
As she found her seat, she stopped to stow her suitcase in the overhead bin and glanced farther down the aisle. Jake sat about eight rows back, next to Nate. He did a little double take when he spotted her, his eyebrows lifting. Her heart skipped a beat under his suddenly intense look, and she couldn’t hold back a smile. Maybe he’d missed her these past four days. She had to repress a crazy grin as she sat down and buckled in. Her exhaustion lifted, confirming her instincts that what she planned to do was the right thing after all.
Since the team had to arrive early in Chicago in order to have enough time for the pre-game practice and warm-ups, Maddie had a few hours between the time she checked in at the Hilton and the time she’d have to make her way to Wrigley for the one-thirty start. Napping was fruitless—not when she was still so wound—and the thoughts of what she hoped would happen tonight had turned her brain to cotton candy. A long shower helped calm her nerves a bit, but she knew it was going to prove to be an anxious day.
But once she arrived at the Wrigley gate, her professionalism and her deep love for the game automatically took over. She felt the familiar thrill that the game was about to begin. Like most sportswriters, she revered Wrigley as a baseball shrine. She was damn lucky to be making a good living doing something that usually felt like a privilege.
She’d skipped batting practice and warm-ups, so she hadn’t seen Jake since she’d deplaned at O’Hare. Peering down from the press box through her binoculars, she zeroed in on him now.
He stood near the top of the visitors’ dugout, his cap off, his right leg flexed with the foot planted on the field level. Maddie could never get over how utterly hot he looked in uniform. The high-cut style of his shirtsleeves emphasized the rippling power of his muscular biceps and forearms. His long legs spoke of startling strength, but she knew he was nevertheless surprisingly agile for a man his size. No wonder his posters were perennial bestsellers. The guy was a total fox and Maddie had no doubt his image looked down from many a young, and maybe not-so-young, woman’s bedroom wall.
She didn’t care. She just wanted the real thing in her bedroom.
It turned out to be a great day for the Patriots, which always made her stories easier to write. Jake’s incredible hitting streak looked like it was never going to stop. Every time he got to the plate, the Cubs’ pitchers looked like they wished they were somewhere else. For Jake, a Patriots victory, combined with a personal three-for-three day with three RBI’s and two runs scored made it a great afternoon at the park for him.
For Maddie, it was a perfect prelude for what she hoped
would be a memorable night.
* * *
When Jake got back to his hotel room a little after five o’clock, the message light on the hotel phone was flashing. He knew it couldn’t be someone on the team, since he’d just left them. Not likely to be anyone in his family, since they would just call him on his cell. When he finished punching in all the requisite numbers and the message started playing, he could hardly believe his ears. The first words he heard in Maddie’s sexy voice made his heart thud in his chest and his body freeze in surprise.
“Hi Jake. It’s Maddie. You know I’m in town. Um, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be going down to Buddy Guy’s club after nine. I’m into blues music, and it’s the best place in Chicago. Anyway, that’s where I’ll be, so, bye.”
After staring at the phone for a few seconds, he listened to the message again. She sounded a little shy and hesitant, and totally sweet. With what he was sure was a goofy grin, he pumped his fist in the air and let out a loud whoop. Yeah, it was stupid, but right now he didn’t care. It felt like he’d won the lottery. Several days of not seeing Maddie hadn’t made things one bit better, or lessened her impact on him. Not after that hot kiss on the golf course. In fact, as disheartened as he’d been by her rejection, not seeing her at all had definitely been worse. And when he’d seen her on the plane today—Christ, when she’d smiled at him—it had felt like a cloud lifting from his personal horizon.
Jake had no idea why she’d changed her mind about seeing him, but he supposed she’d tell him. He was eager to hear her reasons, but not as eager as he was to get his hands on her lush little body.
He did a quick check of his suitcase, coming up empty, so he headed to a nearby drugstore. Maybe he was tempting fate—after all, she might simply want to talk—but the last thing he wanted was to be caught unprepared.
