by V. K. Sykes
She flinched, and then sank down onto the loveseat. Obviously, she hadn’t been expecting that.
“Before I go, I have to say one more thing,” he said. He had to try and make her understand. “The way I was raised, friendship meant something. It meant being willing to take some heat to help a friend in trouble. It meant having compassion, even when that friend really fucked up. I don’t know any other way to be, Maddie.”
Her features pulled tight with shock at the implication he left hanging in the air. Feeling like a total bastard, Jake turned away. But before he reached the door, she finally found her voice. “Jake, hold on for one more minute, will you? I haven’t finished yet, either.”
Jake turned. She was now on her feet again. How a woman could look so small and delicate but still so full of fight was beyond him. And even in her workout clothes, she looked so beautiful it made his chest ache. “Go ahead,” he said. Part of him wished she would ask him to stay, but from the set of her jaw, that looked highly doubtful.
“You’re not going to like this.” She hesitated for a few moments, but then rushed the rest of it out. “But I’m going to speak with my editor about this situation tomorrow.”
“What?” Jake practically fell over in astonishment. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m trying to help Robbie get through this without getting caught and you want to make headlines out of it? Are you completely out of your mind?”
Maddie glared back, the color high on her cheekbones. “Calm down. It’s not like I’m rushing to my computer to get it all down. But, ethically, I can’t just sit here and do nothing. This situation is a big problem on a whole lot of levels and I can’t ignore that, despite our relationship. If I don’t tell my editor, I would be remiss in living up to my responsibilities.”
Jake couldn’t get his mind to work straight. “Jesus. And are you going to tell your editor about us, and why you were eavesdropping on that particular conversation? How does that factor into your ethics?”
She drew in a sharp breath, as if he’d just slapped her. “I can’t let our relationship stand in the way of doing my job. That shouldn’t be a surprise to you,” she said through clenched teeth.
He let out a bitter laugh. It felt like his entire world was falling apart. “Maybe not, but where’s your compassion, Maddie?”
That just pissed her off more. “Where’s Robbie’s sense of decency? This mess could ruin you, Jake, and the selfish little jerk damn well knows it. He shouldn’t ask this of you, and you shouldn’t ask this of me!”
They were both breathing hard, staring at each other in her narrow little hallway, like two fighters in the ring. More than anything, he wanted to back down and find a way to work it through with her. But he couldn’t see how, and he couldn’t abandon Robbie. As much as he cared for Maddie, he would not trash a long-standing friendship and ruin a man’s life to placate her.
“You’ve got no proof of what’s going on unless you quote me, and you know I’ll deny it,” he said harshly. “Obviously, so will Robbie.”
“Obviously,” she said with a tinge of bitterness. She was totally on the job now, sounding like the reporter, not the woman. “If my editor gives me the go-ahead, I’ll start working my sources and doing my job. I promise I won’t print anything without telling you first, and giving Patriots’ management the heads-up. And I’ll keep it totally quiet until then.”
He rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, it’ll stay quiet, I’m sure. Especially once you start poking around.”
“I’m trying to handle this in the fairest way I know how,” she said calmly. “You could try to cut me some slack.”
He gave her a disgusted look. “I really thought I knew you better, but I guess I was wrong. Maybe this relationship doesn’t mean much to you, after all.”
It was a crappy thing to say, but he couldn’t hold it back.
She blinked, and her expression suddenly morphed from calm to stricken, her eyes darkening with shock. “Jake, for God’s sake, don’t say that!”
Her voice broke at the end, and that just about broke him. He had to get away from her. He had to. Ignoring the choked sob he heard behind him, Jake turned on his heel and walked out the door.
* * *
Maddie stared in disbelief as Jake walked out. That nasty parting shot of his threatened to bring on a massive bout of tears but she managed to choke them back, taking refuge in anger and frustration. She stomped back to her kitchen, grabbed the wine bottle out of the fridge and poured herself another glass—a big one, this time.
After a fortifying sip, which pretty much stuck in her tight throat, she headed for the over-stuffed sofa in her living room and sank down onto its comfy cushions. Her first fight with Jake had been a doozy. In fact, it pretty much felt like the end of the line, and that prospect finally brought on the flood of tears she’d been trying to hold off. She let herself dissolve into a self-pitying blob for a few minutes, then sat up and tried to pull it together.
One thing was sure: she refused to feel guilty about her stand. Jake was making a huge mistake, and Robbie Benton wasn’t worth it, friend or no friend. The guy had broken every rule in the book when it came to betting and he’d put Jake in a terrible position, one that threatened to destroy his career and his legacy. Obviously Jake’s motives for helping his friend were honorable, but Maddie knew in her gut he was dead wrong. Still, Jake’s anger and his obvious disappointment left her shivering and nauseous.
She dragged herself off the sofa and into her bathroom. Looking in the mirror evoked a hollow laugh. “You look like crap,” she muttered—hair spiky and matted, eyes fire engine red, and mascara trails running down her cheeks. That’s what came from going against instinct and opening your heart to the wrong guy. Despite all the promises she and Jake had made to each other, she’d known from the beginning that their relationship would likely go off the rails at the first sign of trouble. And as far as she could tell, it had. The only comfort she had was the knowledge that she’d stuck to her principles and done the right thing, whether Jake Miller liked it or not.
The problem was it didn’t feel like the right thing, and the idea of not having Jake in her life seemed monumentally wrong. She stared at her reflection, trying to figure out what to do next, but her water-logged brain refused to process anything more.
Screw it.
She threw water on her face and scrubbed her makeup off with a towel. Whatever this mess was, she’d try to fix the damage in the morning. Yanking off the sweatpants and top, she pulled on her coziest flannel pajamas and crawled into bed.
Still, despite her exhaustion, sleep wouldn’t come. The thought that she might have destroyed her relationship with Jake kept overwhelming her, and she tossed and turned as her head played mental pinball. And now that the lights were out and she was huddled alone in her bed, the twinges of guilt she’d been repressing shot to the surface. It wasn’t that she didn’t stand by her position. She did. But to Jake, she must surely have sounded like she was giving him a lecture. And she’d no doubt made it ten times worse by telling him she intended to speak to her editor about it. It had been so wrong to blurt that out in the middle of an argument, but his decision to walk away from their discussion—walk away from her—had shocked her to the core. So, she’d blundered into revealing her half-formed plan, and now she could admit she’d been lashing out in hurt and anger, or at least partly. She’d wanted to shock him as much as he’d shocked her, and from the look on his face she’d succeeded in spades.
What a freaking idiot she was.
Maybe she should hold off for now, give herself a day or two to think it through. Or maybe she could talk to Robbie first, before she brought the whole sorry mess to her editor. Then again, if it wasn’t for her involvement with Jake, she wouldn’t doubt herself for one second. She’d be calling Martin James right now and working out a plan. Her relationship with Jake was the complicating factor, and she had known from the beginning of their relationship that it might be the case when it came to
work. But never in a million years had she thought they’d be confronting a problem of this magnitude.
Second-guessing herself again and again, tears burned behind her eyelids once more. Maddie finally gave up on sleep and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water.
The apartment felt empty and cold without Jake. Sniffing back her tears, she rubbed her sleeve across her damp face as she turned on the kitchen lights. Banishing the darkness helped, and soon her pride began to reassert itself. She was able to tell herself—and mean it—that if Jake really loved her, they’d find a way through this disaster. After all, he’d said he was leaving for tonight, not forever. And his last words to her had come from a place of hurt, as unthinking as some of the stupid things she’d blurted out. It didn’t change things—either how she felt about him, or about the situation with Robbie.
Maddie knew without a grain of doubt she couldn’t cover for Robbie Benton because it was fundamentally wrong, a violation of everything she’d ever been taught, both on the job and in her personal life. Jake would eventually understand or, at the very least, forgive her.
And if he didn’t?
That was something she vowed not to dwell on.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The next day, Maddie made a point of arriving at the stadium much earlier than normal. She’d spent most of the night tossing and turning, running various scenarios through in her head, but not one of them satisfied her. Every time she came up with a solution she thought might possibly satisfy Jake, it failed to address her own ethical considerations and responsibilities as a reporter. But then every time she decided the best solution would be to go straight to her editor and damn the torpedoes, she felt a wash of guilt and anxiety—guilt over how it would hurt Jake, and anxiety that by taking such drastic action she might destroy their relationship forever.
By the time dawn finally broke, sending gray streaks of light filtering into her bedroom, she’d arrived at what seemed a half-assed solution at best. She’d confront Robbie and encourage him to confess his sins to team management. If he came through on that, she’d keep the story to herself and her editor until management had a chance to formulate a response. If Robbie refused to cooperate, then Maddie would take the story directly to her paper and begin a full scale investigation, with no restrictions. She’d keep Jake out of it, though she knew that wouldn’t satisfy him. But at least she was giving Robbie a chance to come clean, to take those first steps on his own. That had to count for something with Jake. At least she hoped it would.
She parked the car, flashed her press ID at the security guard at the staff entrance to the concourse, and headed toward the field itself. Waiting for Robbie outside the Patriots’ clubhouse was not a good choice, since there would be a lot of comings and goings. It would be easier if she called out to him as he was about to step out on the field for warm-ups. That was a common practice between reporters and players, and made it unlikely that anyone would take particular notice. Although the little jerk didn’t deserve it—not after putting Jake in such a bad situation—Maddie wanted to give Robbie as much privacy as she could for what would be a very difficult conversation.
By the time she reached field level and stationed herself near the home team dugout, her heart was hammering and her hands were slick with perspiration. She blew out a nervous breath and rubbed her palms down the sides of her cotton skirt.
You can do this. You have to do this.
She dumped her bag on a seat, took some deep breaths, and mentally ran over the script she’d developed. She could only hope it wouldn’t fly out of her head once she saw Robbie.
Players started trotting out onto the field, including Jake, who was one of the first. He cut a glance her way, slowed for a few seconds, and then headed to the outfield to join some of the other guys loosening up. That one brief look was enough to let her know he was still angry. She couldn’t blame him, but it sent her stomach plummeting to her heels.
Switching her attention back where it belonged, she held her breath as the last of the players straggled onto the field, still with no sign of Robbie Benton. Crap. She really hoped she wouldn’t have to put this off for another day. But a few seconds later, his head poked out from the dugout—the last player to emerge. He looked as distracted and unhappy as he been yesterday. She inhaled a deep breath and pitched her voice over the cheers of the few hundred spectators who had come early to see practice.
“Hey, Robbie!” she called. With a jerk, Benton turned on his heel and looked back in the direction of her voice. When he spotted her, his mouth turned down in a quick grimace.
“Can we talk for just a minute?” she asked. “Please?”
He stared at her for a good ten seconds, obviously suspicious, then nodded his head and slowly walked over. He didn’t bother with a greeting. “I need to warm up, Maddie. What’s up?”
He must already know what she wanted to talk about. She leaned forward over the barrier between them, lowering her voice. “I know we can’t talk right now, Robbie. But we do have to get together, and it has to be tonight. After the game, in the parking lot, okay?”
He’d try to duck her if she didn’t nail him at the stadium. She let the determination in her voice convey the message she wouldn’t let that happen.
Robbie jerked back. “What the hell? Jesus, you can’t just waltz up and tell me I’ve gotta jump when you snap your fingers. Players aren’t supposed to meet secretly with reporters anyway. As you damn well know.” He flashed an ugly smile and turned to walk away.
Her anger spiked. Obviously Jake had told Robbie about her, and the little jerk wasn’t beyond throwing it in her face. Still, she managed to keep her voice low and even. “Robbie, if you don’t talk to me today, I’m taking the story about your problems with Nazarian to my paper. I’m giving you the chance to tell me your side, and to come up with some kind of solution—before your name hits the headlines.”
He spun around, the naked rage on his features actually making her flinch. “So, your asshole boyfriend couldn’t keep his mouth shut for even one day, huh? Were you two talking about me in the sack?” He spat onto the ground before glaring at her again. “Jesus, I thought I knew Jake better than that.”
She glared right back at him. “Don’t you dare blame Jake! I didn’t find out from him. In fact, you should be glad you’ve got such a loyal friend.”
Her anger obviously took him aback because he stayed quiet, obviously puzzled, and looking like he was trying to figure out what to say next.
“I think you’re lying,” he finally said. “How else would you find out?”
“Robbie,” she said impatiently, “that’s not the point. Are you going to meet me or not? I’ve got a lot I need to ask you, and a lot more I’d like to say to you. I know you don’t want to do it, but this is the one chance you have to try and get a handle on the situation.”
Robbie stared at the ground, obviously considering his options. When he glanced up at her, his features were tight and expressionless. His eyes, though, burned with resentment. “Okay. In the parking lot, right after I come out of the clubhouse.”
She nodded and turned away, heading up the stairs toward the concourse. Her knees were shaking and she had to resist the urge to sit down and put her head between her knees. But she’d done it. There was no going back now. She’d see what she could pry out of Robbie tonight, and then she could make a decision on her next step. Jake wouldn’t be happy either way, but she just had to hope he’d come around, hopefully sooner rather than later.
* * *
Jake had closely watched the conversation between Maddie and Robbie from short right field where he’d been doing his stretches. After that initial burning glance between them, she’d never once looked over in his direction. He, on the other hand, had tracked her every move, hoping against hope that she’d wave him over to talk, leaving Robbie alone. But when Robbie sullenly trudged over to speak with Maddie, Jake’s frustration spun sky-high. He couldn’t believe she was willing to stir up so
much trouble, and without even giving him a chance to fix the problem first. It had taken all his willpower not to charge over and pull Robbie away from what had quickly and obviously turned into an argument.
When Robbie finally strode away from Maddie and out onto the field, Jake didn’t hesitate for even a second. He sprinted across the diamond to call out to Maddie before she had a chance to disappear into the concourse. She froze, her back to him, her shoulders hunching up around her ears.
“Maddie, come back down and talk to me. Please,” he added in a quieter voice.
For a moment, it looked like she might refuse. But then she turned, locked her eyes on him, and descended the steps. He remained still, trying to enforce a calm he was far from feeling. But the last thing he wanted to do was trigger another fight. The one they’d had last night had practically ripped him apart.
“I’m assuming you told Robbie just now what you’re going to do,” Jake said. He towered over her slender form, but she didn’t appear the slightest bit intimidated. “I’d appreciate it if you shared that with me.”
Her face was drawn and pale, and she had huge circles under her eyes. It didn’t look like she’d gotten any more sleep last night then he had. And he could tell from the way she blinked her eyes, as if holding back tears, that confronting Robbie had been tough on her. Though he was boiling mad, he had to fight the overwhelming urge take her in his arms and tell her everything would be all right.
Unfortunately, that would be a colossal lie.
“I asked him to meet me after the game,” she said in a tight voice. “He wouldn’t talk to me at first, so I told him I’d found out about his problem with Nazarian.”
“Christ, Maddie,” Jake groaned. “He’ll think I ratted him out.”
