by Lynn LaFleur
“’K.”
Still smiling, Emma cuddled up as close to him as she could get and closed her eyes.
*
Emma knew she had a lot of clothes, yet that had never been a problem. Kelcey’s house had huge walk-in closets in all the bedrooms. Emma had been able to hang up everything with room to spare.
Of course, she hadn’t been sharing a closet with a man…or his wife’s ghost.
She stared at the boxes stacked along the wall beneath the rod to her left. All of her precious kitchen appliances were already safely at Stevens House, so she didn’t have to worry about finding a place for them here. Her clothes were another matter. She’d managed to shift and restack some of the boxes to give her room to hang some clothes, yet she still had boxes to unpack.
She’d never mentioned that closed door at the end of the hall. Even though this was a temporary situation, she wondered if it was time to ask about the master bedroom.
“Emma?”
“In the bedroom,” she called out to Griff.
He appeared in the doorway with a smile on his face. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She raised her lips for his kiss. “Did you get everything on the list?”
“Yes, ma’am. I do what I’m told.”
She patted his cheek. “You’re such a good boy.”
He turned his head and nipped her palm. “You look perplexed. Problem?”
“More clothes than space.”
“Ah. Typical for a woman.” He looked inside the closet. “I can put some of these boxes in the storage shed out back. I’ll pick up some Rubbermaid containers this week to keep out the bugs.”
Okay, perfect opening. Go for it. “That would be great, but I still need room to hang more of my clothes. Maybe I could put some of them in the master bedroom closet.”
A different man suddenly stood before her. One moment Griff smiled at her, the next moment a very angry man scowled at her. “What do you know about the master bedroom closet?”
“I looked in it.”
“When the hell did you do that?”
“The morning after I spent the first night with you.”
Emma had never seen such rage on a person’s face. Fists clenched, Griff took several paces away from her. “You had no right,” he said, his voice low and controlled. He whirled around to face her. His murderous expression proved his control had disappeared. “You had no right to go in that room! The door stays closed for a reason. No one goes in that room!”
Emma wasn’t about to back down from his anger. If she was going to live here, be a part of his life, they had to get everything out in the open. “Your mother cleans it.”
“That’s beside the point! The door is closed. That means you stay out of that room.”
“Why? Are you afraid I’ll mess up your shrine to Jana?”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Emma wondered if she’d gone too far. Then she decided she hadn’t. Griff had loved his wife. She knew that. But Jana was dead. Griff would never heal if he didn’t let her go.
She took two steps closer to him. “Griff, Jana is gone. She’s never coming back. You have to accept that.”
He pointed a finger right in her face. “Don’t tell me what I have to accept. Jana was the love of my life.”
“I know that. I know you loved her and still miss her. But she’s been gone for almost eleven months.”
He released a bark of laughter that held no humor. “God, what is it with you and Dax and time frames? Is six months the magic number? Seven? After nine months, everything is supposed to be okay again, is that right? I’m supposed to say ‘well, it’s been eleven months, so my heart is all healed and I can go on and never think of Jana again’. ”
A look of such intense pain crossed his face, it brought a lump to Emma’s throat. “I still hurt, Emma. Here.” He pointed to his chest. “Deep inside. I know my heart beats and keeps me alive, but I don’t feel alive.”
She reached out and took one of his hands. “I want to help you, Griff. Please let me.”
He jerked his hand away from her. “I don’t need your ‘help’. We fuck, Emma. That’s all. Don’t get the idea that we’ll ever have any kind of relationship. That isn’t going to happen.”
Griff’s words hurt much deeper than they should. Sex had always been a good time for her. That’s all she’d ever wanted from a man—a good time. Yet her feelings for Griff ran deeper than just sex.
For the first time in her life, she thought she might be falling in love. That would be incredibly stupid. She wouldn’t get anything from Griff but a broken heart.
“I remember saying I want a good time with you, Griff. I don’t remember saying anything about us having a relationship. If you think that’s all I’m after, maybe this isn’t a good idea after all. I think it would be better if I stayed with Alaina and Rye.”
Griff blew out a deep breath. “You can’t do that. Kelcey is moving in with them at the end of the month.”
“I have three weeks to find a place to live before she arrives.”
“Emma, don’t. I…” He stopped and lowered his head. His shoulders drooped. Emma could sense the anger draining out of him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
“You were being honest, Griff. There’s nothing wrong with honesty.”
“I could’ve used more…finesse.”
She couldn’t argue with that. “Maybe a little.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “There’s a closet in my office. Let me move some things around and you can hang your clothes in there.”
“Griff, if you don’t want me here—”
“I do want you here.” He clasped both her hands and squeezed them. “I enjoy your company.”
And your body. He didn’t say the words, but Emma heard them in her head. She’d always been the one who walked away from a man, who decided how long they would be lovers. She didn’t know if she liked it this way, with Griff in charge of however long their affair lasted.
She hoped she wasn’t setting herself up for heartbreak.
He’d hurt Emma and he hadn’t meant to. Griff thought back to their scene in the bedroom while he put away the groceries. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten so angry, but he’d seen red when he learned Emma had gone in the master bedroom. She’d called it a shrine to Jana. He wanted to leave things the way Jana had put them. That didn’t make the house a shrine.
At least, he didn’t think so.
He could hear the faint sounds of Emma moving around in his office. He’d planned to turn the third bedroom from an office into the nursery, but never got the chance. Part of the remodel would have included Dax’s drawings on the wall. He was an incredible artist, able to look at a picture of something once and recreate it perfectly without ever looking at the picture again. Griff knew Dax would’ve loved doing something special for his niece or nephew.
Ignoring the hollow feeling in the center of his chest that always occurred when he thought of his lost child, Griff placed the empty shopping bags in the pantry. When he heard the thunk of what sounded like a box hitting the floor, he decided he’d better help Emma.
He walked into the room to see her struggling with a large box that had torn at one of the side seams. He rushed forward to take it from her. “Why didn’t you call me to help you?”
“It isn’t heavy, just awkward.”
A bright splash of emerald caught Griff’s eye. He set the box on the floor of the closet. “What’s in here?”
“My bedspread. It’s a queen. Since your bed is only a double, I decided it would be silly to unpack it. Maybe you can get one of those Rubbermaid tubs for it and I’ll put it in your shed until I decide what to do with it.”
“Sure.”
Griff opened the box top to see a thick black bedspread with slashes of emerald, ruby and sapphire in it. It looked exactly like something Emma would buy for herself, and completely opposite of what Jana would have bought. His house was filled with muted pastel colors
because that’s what his wife had liked. He would’ve preferred deeper, richer colors, but left the decorating up to her.
The bedspread would look great on the queen-sized bed in the master bedroom.
Forcing that thought from his mind, he closed the top of the box again. “Do you need more than one tub?”
“Maybe.” She wiggled her mouth back and forth. “Probably. I’d rather store things in uniform containers than all different sizes of boxes.”
“Figure out what you need and I’ll pick them up when I go for supplies tomorrow.”
“For the restaurant?”
Griff nodded. “I have some things to get while I arrange for a load of lumber to be delivered.”
A huge smile spread over her face. She clasped her hands together beneath her chin. “Does that mean y’all are starting on it soon?”
“The foundation will be poured Thursday.”
“Can I be there to watch?”
“There’s nothing exciting about watching guys pour concrete.”
“It’ll be exciting for me.”
She threw herself in his arms and hugged his neck tightly. Griff wrapped his arms around her. She felt so good against him, so right. “Does this hug mean we’re okay again?”
She pulled back and looked in his face. Her fingertips drifted over his cheek, his lips. “Yeah, we’re okay again.”
She tugged down his head and kissed him. Her kiss was sweet and soft as usual, yet Griff sensed Emma holding back. She’d said they were okay. The sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach made him wonder if that was really true.
Chapter Twelve
Beverly took two hot pads from a drawer and handed them to Emma. “Will you take the roast out of the oven?”
“Sure.”
The Sunday ritual had become something Emma enjoyed very much. The Coleman brothers always had dinner at their parents’ house. They would gather after Beverly and Kenneth got home from church, then visit until Beverly served dinner at three o’clock. The meal lasted almost two hours while everyone lingered at the table over dessert and coffee.
Emma set the roasting pan on top of the stove and took off the lid. Her stomach gurgled at the aroma of roasted pork.
Leaning over Emma’s shoulder, Beverly peered into the pan. “How does it look?”
“Perfect. Do I get to sample it before anyone else does?”
Beverly winked at her. “I won’t tell.”
“Won’t tell what?” Alaina asked as she walked into the kitchen.
“That Emma is going to sample the roast before dinner.”
“No sampling without me.” She stepped up beside Emma and inhaled deeply. “Oh, Beverly, that smells divine. How soon do we eat?”
“In about half an hour. Griff should be here by then.”
“Where is he anyway?” Alaina asked Emma. “Why didn’t he come with you?”
“He said he had something to do first.”
“Like what?”
“I didn’t ask.”
Alaina shook her head. “You have a lot to learn about being nosy, Em.” She turned to Beverly. “You said he’ll be here in half an hour?”
“Yes.”
Emma noticed Beverly didn’t look at either of them when she answered. “Beverly? Do you know where Griff is?”
“Alaina, would you make the salad?”
A chill skittered down Emma’s spine. Beverly had abruptly changed the subject, which told Emma that Griff’s mother knew exactly where he was. She touched the older woman’s shoulder. “Beverly, where is Griff?”
Sympathy filled Beverly’s eyes when she looked at Emma. “Jana was killed eleven months ago today. Griff is at the cemetery.”
It’d been two weeks since her scene with Griff over the master bedroom. He still hadn’t opened that door at the end of the hall. She shouldn’t be surprised that he’d gone to the cemetery to visit his dead wife, but she was. She felt they had grown closer the last two weeks. The sex was still scorching, yet she thought they had more than sex. She worked alongside him at the restaurant, even though it was little more than framework so far. They watched TV together in the evenings or hung out with his brothers and Alaina. They would prepare gourmet meals together. He loved to cook almost as much as she did. He’d put on some of the weight he’d lost after Jana died and looked even sexier now.
Sometimes they talked for hours. She enjoyed listening to his stories about growing up with his brothers and the mischief they caused. No longer the quiet, sullen man she’d met a month ago, Griff smiled and laughed now. He had a quick wit and a great personality. She couldn’t help falling a little more in love with him each day.
She thought Griff was starting to care for her too. Apparently she was wrong. No one would ever take the place of Jana in his heart.
Forcing a smile, she faced her friend. “Alaina, if you’ll make the salad like Beverly said, I’ll mash the potatoes.”
She turned away again before the pity in Alaina’s eyes caused her to burst into tears.
*
Griff knew something bothered Emma the moment he kissed her. She’d lifted her lips for his kiss when he walked into the kitchen of his parents’ house, yet her lips hadn’t softened beneath his the way they usually did.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Just a little crampy.” She laid her hand on her abdomen. “My second day is always the worst.”
Griff understood what Emma meant. Jana had really suffered with her periods. “I remember how bad Jana always felt—”
“Please don’t compare me to your late wife.”
Her sharp tone surprised him. “Is something else wrong besides cramps?”
“No.” She handed him a basket of rolls. “Take this to the table please.”
Only his mother coming in the kitchen stopped Griff from questioning Emma further. The general chaos coming from the dining room meant he wouldn’t get the chance to talk to Emma until they were alone again.
She was quiet during dinner, speaking when someone spoke to her but otherwise remaining silent while she ate. As the meal stretched out to dessert, he grew more concerned about her. She always jumped into the middle of every conversation, ready to give her opinion whether someone wanted it or not. The longer she remained quiet, the less he liked it.
He didn’t believe her silence came from cramps. Something else had to be wrong.
Emma, Alaina and his mother gathered up the dessert plates and took them in the kitchen. Griff wondered how quickly he and Emma could go back to his house so they could talk in private.
Alaina and his mother came back in the dining room without Emma and carried more dishes out of the room. After the two women made the third trip, Griff rose and went into the kitchen. Emma wasn’t there.
“Where’s Emma?” he asked Alaina.
She straightened from loading plates into the dishwasher and faced him. His stomach plummeted at the anxious look on her face. “Alaina. Where is Emma?”
“She went back to your place. To pack.”
If she had said there was a purple gorilla in the garage, Griff couldn’t have been more shocked. “Pack? For what?”
“She asked if she could stay with Rye and me until Saturday when Kelcey gets here.”
She was leaving him? “Why?”
“She just said she couldn’t stay with you anymore.”
His whole world had fallen apart and he had no idea why. Griff hurried out the back door and to his van. The tires squealed as he tore out of his parents’ driveway. He drove the mile to his house the fastest he ever had. He didn’t bother to park in the garage, but left his van in his driveway and ran into the house.
“Emma!”
She didn’t answer him. He hurried through the house, looking in every room as he passed it. He came to a dead stop in the bedroom’s doorway. An open suitcase laid on the bed, bras and panties inside it. He whirled around to see the closet door stood open. Emma was inside, pulling tops from the hangers.
�
�What are you doing?” He heard the panic in his voice, but couldn’t stop it. He didn’t want her to leave.
She came out of the closet and began folding the tops to put in the suitcase. “I think that’s obvious.”
“Why are you leaving?”
“Because I can’t stay here anymore.”
“But why? Are you angry at me? Did I do something wrong?”
She brushed by him without answering. Griff stood still, unsure what to do. He didn’t know whether to follow her or wait until she came back.
She returned a few moments later, carrying items from the bathroom. Griff waited until she’d dumped them in the suitcase before he grabbed her arm and turned her toward him. She kept her head lowered as if she didn’t want to look at him. “Emma, talk to me. Why are you leaving?”
Finally she lifted her chin. Tears glittered in her eyes. “Where were you this morning, Griff?”
His heart dropped down into his stomach. Someone had told her he’d gone to the cemetery. “I…had an errand to run.”
“Where?”
Unsure what to say, he didn’t say anything.
“You went to Jana’s grave, didn’t you?”
Lying would be stupid when she already knew the truth. “Emma, she was killed eleven months ago today. I had to visit her.”
She shook her head and released a sigh. “Of course you did.”
“Emma, please try to understand—”
“I don’t understand, Griff. We sleep in here instead of the master bedroom. Jana’s clothes still hang in the closet. When are you going to let go of her?”
“It isn’t that easy.”
“I know that. I know she was your whole life. I’m not unsympathetic to your pain, please believe that. But she’s gone. I’m not.” She jerked her arm away from him. “I can’t do this anymore, Griff. I can’t compete with the memory of your wife.” She laid her hand over her heart. “I am completely in love with you. I didn’t plan to fall for you, but I did. I want to be with you forever, but you’d rather live in the past than let it go and be with me.”
Breathing became more difficult as his heart started to pound. He didn’t want to lose Emma. “I don’t want you to go.”
“Why not? Do you want a life with me or just a woman to fuck?”
