“But you didn’t like him like that?”
Shaking her head, Harmony lay quiet for a while, enjoying the way he gently ran his hand up and down her back. “No, not really. He was really nice, and he was funny enough, but he didn’t make me feel anything, and I don’t think I made him feel anything either. Just … there was no passion between us, just friendship.”
“And then?”
“Well, like I said, he was really awkward and scared of girls, and I was really scared of guys. So you know … we … kind of ... don’t make me say it!” Slapping his stomach lightly, Harmony hid her flaming face in her hands.
“Okay, alright, so you practiced on each other. I get it,” Xander laughed. “But it really wasn’t anything special? Nothing good about it?”
“Not really. Everything was very matter-of-fact.”
“What about other guys?” Xander asked. Absently, he tangled his fingers in her hair, dragging them through the glossy strands until they fell again onto his legs.
“Other guys? There aren’t any, Xander.”
His hand froze, and he looked down at her in surprise. “That’s all? Harmony, you haven’t been with anyone else?”
Shaking her head, she shrugged, her shoulder moving against the muscle of his thigh. “No. Just that one time with Turner. And it was sloppy and … it was boring. We were just –“ She broke off with a sigh. “Just getting it over with, I guess.”
“Getting it over with! Harmony, are you serious right now?”
“Yeah,” she said, her face flushing with color again. “I let my fears make a lot of my decisions back then, Xander. I’m not saying I’m proud of it, I’m just saying that that’s who I am. Who I was, I mean. Was your first time a wild moment of romantic passion, then?”
“Not really,” he laughed. “I guess it was probably just the same as most other teenaged boys. I was a big guy though, even back then – really into bodybuilding and stuff. The girls thought it was sexy, and I took advantage of that. I showed off all the time, made a point to emphasize my size and my strength. I was pretty proud of myself back then. Pretty full of myself.”
“Oh, just back then?” Harmony teased.
“Well, I like to think I’ve outgrown that, maybe a little.”
“Oh, I see. Okay, so you were cocky, then. And?”
“And of course, there was this girl.” He laughed again, watching as Harmony sat up, turning so that she faced him, her legs crossed in front of her as she waited for him to speak again.
“We, uh, we used to sneak around a lot together. She was older, a lot older. But she was sweet, and she liked me. And she was hot, of course.”
“Of course,” Harmony said dryly, adjusting the fit of her tank top over her slender stomach, looking down with sorrow at her small chest.
“So it was with her, and yeah, it was passionate enough. Hormones. But after that, we didn’t see each other anymore and we didn’t date or anything. It was kind of a one time thing. Passion, maybe, but not love.”
“Have you ever been in love?” Harmony asked him, looking up as she caught the sadness in his voice.
“Once,” he answered, looking out over the water of the lake. Sliding to the end of the bench and climbing to his feet, he moved to the captain’s chair and turned the lights on, illuminating the boat and the water around them. “I should have done this a while ago,” he said, gesturing around them to the lights on other boats. “They’re supposed to go on early, but I got super distracted by a pretty girl.”
“Poor you,” Harmony laughed.
“Yeah, I make do. She’s worth spending time with.” Winking, Xander leaned back against the railing and crossed his arms.
“Well, I’m sure she’d be thrilled to hear that,” Harmony teased, sticking out her tongue. “But seriously. What was it like? Being in love, I mean.”
“It was a high, kind of. She could call, and the worst day would instantly be better. If I saw her unexpectedly, it was almost like winning the lottery. And holding her, touching her, was like … heaven. She was my everything. It was my desire to spoil her that made me accept a recruiting offer from AWG; I thought if I took the job and signed the contract, then I’d have money and I could give her the fine things she liked, take her to fancy places.”
“What happened with her?” Harmony asked cautiously. It hurt to watch the pain flicker through his eyes; she wanted to touch him, to comfort him. Instead, she held herself still, her arms slipping around her waist as she comforted herself, watching the ghost of his love for another woman in his eyes.
“She didn’t want the hassle of it all. She liked dating, she said she loved me but didn’t want to tie herself down. She said she wasn’t the marrying kind and she didn’t want the whole world watching her if I made the main roster with AWG.”
“She left you because of your job? A job that you took for her?” Finally, Harmony couldn’t take the pain in his eyes anymore. Climbing to her feet, she walked closer as he spoke.
“I don’t know,” he said, shaking his head as he passed a hand over his face. When Harmony stood in front of him, he held her face in his hands and said, “You know what the worst part of it is? I think the truth was that she didn’t trust me. She was a little insecure, and she took one look at the girls backstage and that was it. She left me the next day. Because she didn’t believe in me; she didn’t trust me.”
“It still hurts,” Harmony murmured, slipping her arms around his waist, gasping a little when he held her tight against his chest, his arms strong and solid around her waist.
“Yeah, it does,” he said quietly. “Sometimes.”
“How long has it been, Xander?”
“Since Emily? A year or so,” he answered, resting his chin on the top of Harmony’s head with a sigh.
“Are you sure you’re ready for all this, then? What you’re starting up with me?”
He lifted her chin with the tip of his finger, moving his hand to cup her cheek as she looked up to meet his eyes. “I think I’m good,” he murmured, passing the pad of his thumb over the curve of Harmony’s bottom lip. “I’ve had a year to heal, to move on, to let it go. It’s like any other old wound now; it’s fine most of the time, but when I pick at it, then it aches a little. But I think I’ve found the perfect thing, Harmony, the perfect medication for the wound.”
“Really?” she breathed, stepping closer to him as his arm around her waist urged their bodies together.
He slipped his hand from her cheek to cup the curve of her head, angling her face just beneath his. “Yeah, I think so. It takes the pain away and turns it into something beautiful, almost like the injury never happened.”
“Hmm, maybe I need some of that for my old wounds,” Harmony whispered, reveling in the delicious feel of his hand sliding through her hair and down her back, settling on the slight curve of her hip.
“Lucky girl, then,” he said, pulling her close and sweeping the tip of his tongue over the curve of her smiling mouth. “We can heal together.”
“Mmm, you think so?” she breathed, dropping her head back as he clutched her tightly against him and swept the flat of his tongue up the length of her throat. “But I think I’d better take you home first, unless you want your first moment of heated passion to be witnessed by the lake patrol. We’re supposed to be docked and off the lake before midnight.”
“Sounds like we’d better get moving then.”
Chapter Thirty
Once the boat was docked safely, Xander guided Harmony down from the boat, holding her hand firmly in his while they walked down the dock to the parking lot. As he drove, he maintained their closeness, lacing his fingers through hers during the short drive back to her apartment building.
Slipping the truck easily into a parking spot, he turned to her, raising her hand gently to his mouth and pressing a tender kiss to the back of her hand. “Want me to walk you up?”
Flushing, Harmony nodded. She smiled quietly to herself as she turned to slip down from the truck,
remembering the passion in his kisses on the boat, the tenderness and pain in his voice as they’d shared stories from their pasts with each other. In the few weeks that she’d known him, he’d somehow managed to crash through all of her barriers. He’d assuaged her fears; he’d reawakened her passion and her youthful longing for love.
He’d stolen her heart, something she’d sworn never to share with anyone.
Meeting her at the tailgate of the truck, Xander quickly pocketed his keys before slipping his arm around Harmony’s shoulders, drawing her close to the warmth of his side. She draped an arm casually around his waist, warming his blood with her nearness and her willingness to trust him. She was so tiny, so eager in spite of her fears, so confident in her safety with him. They’d known each other for so short a time, but in that time, she’d unknowingly helped to heal the old wounds of his past. She’d given him the courage to talk about Emily; she’d given him the confidence to try again.
And he was pretty sure she’d stolen his heart, something he’d sworn to protect at all costs.
As they entered Harmony’s apartment building, Harmony pulled away from Xander to open her purse and search inside for her keys, not finding them until they’d nearly reached the elevator. “Jeez, what all do women keep in those things?” Xander laughed. “For such a tiny bag, you girls can never find anything in there.”
“Well, that’s because it’s dark,” Harmony retorted, jingling her keys at him. “And you aren’t allowed to know what’s in there. It’s girl stuff.”
“Hmph. Girl stuff,” he chuckled, blocking the elevator door with his arm to keep it open and gesturing for her to step in before him. He seemed to grow nervous as they stood together in the elevator, and Harmony could feel his tension beginning to spread to her. Her shoulders tightened; she kept her eyes lowered, avoiding his reflection in the metallic surface of the elevator doors.
“You okay over there?” he asked, glancing over at her as the elevator jolted to a stop and the doors slid open.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Harmony murmured. Stepping around him, she left the elevator and stepped into the hallway, turning to wait for him to join her. “Why? Are you okay?”
He laughed, nodding slightly as he met her eyes. “I’d think after we lost it like we did this afternoon that we wouldn’t be nervous standing here like this,” he said, once his laughter had died away.
“I know. It’s a little weird, isn’t it? Especially in the oversexed atmosphere of television, where we work. I mean, every week, we walk through that curtain and down to the ring, and I’m wildly in love with you and you can’t keep your eyes off me. But it’s different, now, isn’t it? Because it’s for real, the two of us standing here, building … whatever it is that we’re building?” Harmony walked slowly, approaching her door nervously – unsure of what to do once she got there. She didn’t want him to leave; she wanted to talk through the awkwardness that was taking them over. Still, she wasn’t sure inviting him in was wise, either.
“Yeah, it’s different,” he said, taking her hand and sighing. “It’s definitely more real. But you know, Harmony …” He trailed off, lifting his free hand to cup the curve of her cheek.
“Yes?” She smiled up at him, loving the sweet expression on his face, wondering at the serious gleam in his blue eyes.
“I have to admit, I like that I can make you nervous,” he said, stepping closer to her as heat bloomed between them again. Tipping her head so that her cheek pressed more firmly into the warmth of his palm, Harmony caught her bottom lip between her teeth, smiling again when he passed his thumb lightly over her mouth. “You really shouldn’t do that so often,” he whispered.
“What?” she asked, her voice hardly more than a breath as she watched the heat grow in his eyes.
“That lip thing that you do. When you bite your lip, and then you let it go … it’s all sexy, and …” his voice trailed away as he lowered his face, pressing his mouth to hers. Angling his head to deepen the kiss, he alternated between tender, feathery kisses that stole her breath, and strong, complete possession of her senses.
“I should – I should open the door,” Harmony gasped a moment later, pulling away from the kiss. He smiled, hearing the breathless quality of her voice as he stroked the curve of her swollen bottom lip with his thumb. “Xander,” she laughed, “We’re in the hallway.”
Sobering, he stepped away slightly, waiting as she unlocked and opened the door to her apartment. He waited too, as she stepped through it, leaving it open and dropping her purse on the kitchen bar. Propping a shoulder against the doorjamb, he watched her kick her sandals off and smiled as she turned to find him still in the doorway.
“Aren’t you coming in?” she asked, crossing her arms over her stomach self-consciously. Harmony watched his smile widen as the little ball of heat in the pit of her stomach began to spread lazily through her body. Liquid tendrils of arousal heated her blood as she met his eyes, and she smiled cautiously. “What is it, like vampires? You have to be invited specifically?”
“You know that you make my blood boil, right?” he asked, still standing motionless in the doorway.
“I think you might have mentioned that,” Harmony answered, her cheeks flushing as she watched him with heated eyes. “Did I happen to tell you that it’s mutual?”
Crossing one ankle over the other, Xander adjusted his stance, still watching her from his position in the open doorway. “I think you may have mentioned it. You know, possibly.”
“Xander?” Harmony asked, leaning back against the edge of the island counter top, her arms now crossed over her chest.
“Hmm?”
“Are you going to actually come through the door? Or are you just going to stand there and flatter me?” Tilting her head curiously, she waited for his answer.
“Well, Harmony; honestly, I’m a little afraid to come in,” he said, all trace of his earlier nervousness suddenly gone as a mischievous gleam flared to life in his eyes.
Confused, Harmony stepped toward him and reached out to touch his forearm lightly. “Afraid? Why?” she asked.
“Because your apartment isn’t nearly as public as the boat we were on earlier,” Xander murmured, smiling deviously.
“Mmhmm,” Harmony teased, her heart pounding in her chest as her breath quickened. Looking up at him, Harmony felt her senses step into high alert, his closeness heating her blood again as he stepped forward to grasp her narrow hips. “Hmm, privacy. I’d noticed that. So, are you just gonna stand there all night? In the hallway? Alone?”
“Are you sure you want me to come in and close the door?” he teased, tipping her head back with one hand to nuzzle her throat as he slid his other hand around to her bottom, dragging her closer.
“Oh, I’m pretty sure,” Harmony breathed, the words a soft moan as he sucked gently against the curve of her shoulder. She brought her hands up over the hard muscle of his arms, and then over the curve of his shoulders, her fingers gripping tight in surprise as he scooped her fully against his body.
“Absolutely?” he asked. She nodded silently, stepping back to pull him into her apartment. Xander growled softly, kicking one foot out behind him to close the door before dropping his hands to the soft fabric of the sarong she was wearing. His fingers worked confidently, his knuckles sweeping over the soft skin of her stomach until the narrow strip of fabric simply fell away, tickling the backs of her legs as it drifted to the floor.
Sliding his palms over the silky fabric of her bikini bottom, he covered her with his hands, lifting her against him, gripping the backs of her thighs as he urged her to wrap her legs around his waist. She obeyed the silent command, locking her ankles around his hips as he turned them, the weight of his body pressing her back against the door.
“Xander,” Harmony whispered, arching her throat against him as he clutched her tighter.
He smiled, the tip of his tongue sliding deliciously along the line of her jaw. Pressing his hips more firmly against hers to anchor her to the door,
he held her face in his hands, looking down into her eyes. “Where do you want me to take you?” he asked, his breath coming in heaving gasps as she kissed softly along his throat.
“Hmm, well. You didn’t get to see my room yet,” she said, moving to nip softly at his bottom lip. He growled again, moving his hands down to support her body as he moved away from the door.
When they reached her bedroom, Xander didn’t stop to look around, moving directly to the big bed in the center of the room. Unlocking her ankles, Harmony allowed her body to slide against his until she found her footing on the carpeted floor of her bedroom, still pressed desperately close to him, his hands gripping her hips powerfully. “Are you really sure this is what you want?” he asked again, his breathing ragged as he tested the ties of her bikini bottom.
Wrestling Harmony (The Kingsley Series) Page 21
