“Aw, look you guys, my baby sister’s in love,” Cameron laughed, dropping a slender arm around Harmony’s shoulders. “What’s he saying to you to make you smile like that?”
“Nothing,” Harmony answered, rolling her eyes again. “He’s just saying good morning.” Settling her phone beside her plate on the table, she lifted her spoon and filled her mouth with yogurt, ending the obligation to keep talking.
“Oh my God, he says good morning?” Tabitha gushed, propping her elbows against the edge of the table, her chin in her hands. “That’s so cute!”
“I know, right?” Cameron laughed, watching Harmony’s face flame again. “I think he’s got it bad. And from the look on your face, you do too.”
“Okay, time to talk about something else,” Harmony commanded, picking her phone up when it buzzed against the edge of her plate. “What’s new with you guys?”
I wonder if there’s anything we can do about that, Xander’s text read. I miss waking up with your head on my chest.
Heart pounding, Harmony looked up and forced herself to pay attention as Whitney talked about her job at the gym, gushing about the hot new personal trainer that had been hired. As the conversation moved to Tabitha and her dating adventures, Harmony chanced glancing down at her phone again to send an answering text to Xander: I miss waking up there, she wrote. Maybe I need a Xander-sized pillow to keep me company. Pressing her finger on the screen to send the message, she looked up to find everyone staring at her again.
“Yeah, you guys, look at this,” Whitney laughed. “She’s got it bad.”
“And in other news,” Harmony began, turning to Cameron with a grin. “What’s up with you and Mac these days?”
Cameron smiled softly at her sister, nodding slightly in acknowledgement of Harmony’s happiness. “In other news,” she said, her smile widening as relief flooded Harmony’s face. “Mac and I have decided to go on a little vacation in a few weeks. We’re taking Logan out to the house on the beach for a couple of days, just hanging out, being a family.”
“Is everything still going okay?” Tabitha asked. “I mean, with Logan and the adoption and everything being so different for him now?”
“He’s taking it pretty well actually, but I think that’s just due to who his father is,” Cameron answered, shrugging her shoulders. “With a therapist for a dad, that kid is remarkably able to handle the most difficult circumstances like a champ. He still needs a lot of reassurance about me not replacing his mom, though. I find myself telling him all the time that her death doesn’t mean she won’t always be his first mother, and that I don’t want to replace her in his memories, I just want to give him new ones because she can’t.”
“And he gets it?” Whitney asked, raising her eyebrows.
Harmony’s phone buzzed again, the soft vibration tickling her fingers as she opened the text. She froze, reading it before returning her attention to the conversation at hand, unaware of how pale she’d suddenly become.
Cameron shrugged again, not yet noticing her sister’s distress. “The great thing is that he seems to totally get it,” she said. “Logan says he knows that his mom would want someone who could take care of him until he can see her again, and that he thinks she’d like me for the job.”
“And what did you say?” Harmony asked quietly.
“Nothing,” Cameron answered, her forehead wrinkling as she looked over at Harmony. “I couldn’t stop crying to answer him after he said that. But what I really want to know is, what did Xander just say to you? You look completely panic-stricken. Is he okay? Something happen?”
Sighing, Harmony activated the screen on her phone, sweeping her finger over the front of the device to open the text she’d just read. She lay the phone on the table, the screen lit, the text illuminated, and she waited as her sister and her friends bent to read the text.
You don’t need a Xander-sized pillow, he’d written. You just need to be with me more often. Move in with me, Harmony.
Chapter Thirty-Five
“Oh my god,” Whitney breathed. “Moving in? Are you ready for that?”
“I have no idea,” Harmony answered quietly. “I have no idea at all. It’s something to definitely think about ...”
The phone buzzed again, and the women leaned together, their heads close as they watched the new text appear on the screen. I didn’t mean to shock you, he said. Don’t be mad, we can just talk about it when I get home tomorrow if you want. It’s okay if you aren’t ready, and I don’t need an immediate answer … no worries. I just want you to know what I want.
Gingerly lifting the device, Harmony swept the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip, looking around the table for support. “I have to say something to him,” she murmured, her voice shaky. “I’m making him nervous, not answering at all.”
“Well, just tell him you need to think about it,” Cameron said gently. “And if you aren’t ready for that, he’ll have to try to understand.”
“And if he doesn’t get it or isn’t patient, then he doesn’t deserve you,” Tabitha added.
Harmony? The question appeared with the telltale buzzing vibration of the phone, and as Harmony sat staring at the picture of him at the top of the screen, her chest closed off and the diner fell away. She remembered his pain when he’d spoken of Emily, the ex-girlfriend who’d been unwilling – or unable – to commit to him. She remembered how safe she’d felt, lying in his arms as they talked about their pasts, their futures.
I’m still here, she typed, her fingers shaking as she tapped out the short message. I’m just ... I don’t know what to say just yet. It’s not something to just decide on a whim.
“That’s a good answer,” Cameron said, peeking at the messages as she slipped her arm around Harmony’s shoulders.
“I gotta go, you guys,” Harmony said, adjusting her weight in the booth so that she could slip her phone back into her pocket. “I just need some time to think.”
“Well, I’m paying for breakfast, so don’t worry about that,” Cameron said, scooting to the edge of the booth and standing up to let Harmony out. “Are you going to your apartment?”
“Yeah. I just need some time to really think about what I want.” Harmony slipped her purse strap over her shoulder and said her goodbyes, her heart still pounding and her eyes filling with tears. Things had been going so smoothly, but Xander had just changed everything.
Outside the diner, Harmony sat in the quiet privacy of the Xterra, staring at the traffic on the street in front of her. “Move in with him?” she whispered. “Could I even do that?” Turning the key, she started the engine and carefully backed out of the parking space, her mind a tangled mess. Excitement warred with doubt, happiness warred with fear, and the mix left her nauseated and anxious.
Driving the familiar streets of the city she’d grown up in, Harmony tried to imagine life with Xander, as the kind of serious couple that lived together. Did that mean they’d someday get married? Was he thinking of that already? And then – would her parents approve? What if she started getting scared again and ended up hurting him?
She already knew what it felt like to wake up beside him, to have breakfast with him, to elbow each other playfully in the sides as they jockeyed for space in front of the sink while they worked together in the kitchen. She knew what it was like to feel the hot slide of his skin against hers in the shower; she knew what it meant to spend her evenings curled up in his arms on the couch.
Would living together be so much different then, especially since he would be spending several days at a time on the road with AWG? Especially because they would probably end up spending his time at home together anyway? Maybe it wouldn’t be so different at all, then?
As she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building, her cell phone vibrated faintly from the back pocket of her jeans, the chiming sound indicating a new text message. She parked the car and shut down the engine before pulling the phone from her pocket and nervously activating the screen to bring up her
text inbox. She’d missed a text from Xander during the drive: I know it’s a big thing and you’d have to think it through. There’s no time limit, Harmony, I just wanted you to know that it’s on my mind and that it’s something I want. It doesn’t have to be right now if you don’t feel ready.
The new text simply said, Are you okay? I know it’s fast … if I freaked you out, I’m sorry. That wasn’t the intention So I’m gonna stop pestering ... just know I’m here if you want to talk.
Harmony smiled as his concern washed over her. Shaking off the twinge of guilt that hit her for not noticing the text, she settled back in the driver’s seat of the Xterra, looking around the empty parking lot of her home before she answered. It really is fast, she typed. But I can’t say just yet if it’s too fast or not. We always seem to be staying together lately anyway, whether it’s at your place or mine, so I doubt it would be a really drastic change for us. But there are other factors, too.
Slipping her purse strap over her shoulder, Harmony palmed her keys and slipped down from the car, the late morning sun shining in her eyes as she walked through the parking lot and into her building. The familiar buzz vibrated through her hand as she stepped into the elevator. He’d written one simple question: Factors?
Factors, she answered. I have a lease with my building, and I’m not sure I want to have to buy out. But keeping it seems silly if I’m never going to be here, like a waste of money. And we haven’t been together long, so even if we both felt that it’s a great idea, I’m trying to think about what would happen if we don’t work out, too. And then, what would my parents and family think? Or yours?
Sending the text, Harmony stepped out of the elevator, smiling softly at one of her neighbors as they passed each other in the hallway. She walked down the hall, wondering if she could really let the apartment go, and the thought haunted her as she unlocked the door and went about settling in for the day.
I think my family would be supportive, they trust me to know what I want. And from what you’ve said about your family, I think they would too. You’re the baby of the bunch though, right? So maybe that’s why you’re worried about them? Xander’s text came through as Harmony kicked her shoes off and dropped into the softness of the couch.
She pulled at the edge of the throw blanket she’d gotten as a housewarming gift from Mac and Cameron, settling it around her legs before she typed, Not totally the baby, just the youngest girl. Evan’s actually a few years younger than I am, he’s finishing high school in the spring.
A few minutes later, the cell phone rang, and Harmony grinned as she slipped her finger over the screen to accept the call. “Sick of texting, are you?” she asked.
Xander laughed, and the rich sound of his laughter had an immediate calming effect on Harmony’s nerves. She laid back on the couch, crossing her ankles as she listened to him speak. “Not sick of texting, but I’ve got some more time before I’m needed again,” he said. “So let me ask you something.”
“Okay,” she laughed, her mood already responding to the cheer in his voice.
“If there weren’t … factors, then what would you say to me? From the heart, without concern for the families or the finances or any of that?”
Harmony pursed her lips, thinking carefully as she watched a fly settle on the edge of the coffee table. Waving her hand, she sent it scurrying away through the air, and then said, “I think maybe I’d do it. But that’s a lot to discount, Xander. My parents mean a lot to me, and I’d want my family to be comfortable and feel welcome. And like I said, I have to think of what could happen to me if we didn’t work out. It’s not something I particularly like to think of at this point, but I’m just trying to be logical about all this.”
“Okay, what if you keep your apartment for a few months anyway, then? I know you were worried about keeping it and paying for the upkeep, but if you keep it, then it’s a safeguard for you. You’ll have it there, just in case. Although I have to say, I’d be pretty barbaric to just toss you on your cute little ass if we broke up, wouldn’t I?”
“Well, I think if we were getting to that point, I’d see it coming,” Harmony laughed. “So you’re saying keep my apartment, and look at all this like ... like a trial run?”
“That’s what I’m saying. We could spend that time figuring out where you’d want to put your stuff if you decided to fully move in with me,” Xander answered. She could hear the change in his voice as he smiled again, happy that she was considering his questions seriously. “And decide what I’d need to move or get rid of to make the house homey for you. I know it’s kind of a bachelor pad right now.”
“Hmmm,” Harmony giggled. “This would be a great time for me to tease you about getting rid of your ugly man furniture or something, but I can’t because I actually really like your house. It could maybe be a little less bachelor-y, but I really do like the way you have things.”
“Good,” he laughed. “Because I was terrified you’d want me to throw out my couch. I would because I like you better than the couch, but I really do like that couch. It’s got drink holders, you know.”
“I remember.”
“Okay, so what else? The family, right?”
“The family,” Harmony answered, nodding decisively. Her stomach fluttered excitedly as she tried again to imagine living with Xander.
“Do you think they’d disapprove of me?” Xander asked quietly. “Or of us?”
“No,” Harmony laughed. “They seem to like you already; they all smile like fools whenever they ask me how things are going with you. Why would they disapprove?”
“Well, my dear Harmony,” he answered dryly. “I do have kind of a violent job, and with what you said happened to your sister ... maybe they’d worry about you or something …” He let his voice trail away, waiting for Harmony to speak.
“Well, Mr. Harrison, you may have noticed that I have the same job, firstly. And secondly, my brother is a cop, so he isn’t exactly in a safe profession either.”
“Yeah, but living with me, with what I do – you don’t think they’d worry about you?”
“Oh, my safety with you?” Harmony asked, surprised as she realized exactly what he was asking. “Not unless they had a reason to. Do they?”
Xander laughed. “No, they don’t. Hell, you’re so small, I’m half afraid to touch you most of the time, even with your permission,” he said, his voice still shaking with laughter. “So they wouldn’t be afraid to trust me with you?”
“No. Honestly, I don’t think they’d really look at it like that. I mean the guy who raped my sister wasn’t like a giant guy who overpowered her or anything. He was a total nerd, but it doesn’t take a strong man to drug a girl. If you can dissolve some pills or work a syringe, that’s all it takes these days,” she said quietly.
“Well, no worries there,” Xander said softly. “The important thing is that you know you’d be safe with me. You do know that, don’t you?”
Harmony nodded, closing her eyes. “Yeah, I know.” The truth in the words washed over her, and she smiled softly, shaking her head.
“So what would help ease your mind with the family?” he asked. “Do you think they would disapprove of us living together? Like, in case we’re not ready to take the next step?”
The next step. Marriage. He couldn’t say it; she could hardly think it. They most certainly were not ready for that yet! But could they live together? “I don’t think they’d disapprove,” Harmony said carefully. “My brother Drew lived with his girlfriend, before they um, before they got married. My parents didn’t seem to mind.”
“Because they were getting married? Is that a factor here?” Xander asked.
“Is it?”
Xander sighed, and Harmony could hear various shouts in the background. “I don’t know, really,” he said. “I’m not against the idea, but are you ready for that?”
Harmony laughed. “No, definitely not! We’ve only known each other a couple of months. Are you?”
“I don’t kn
ow,” Xander answered, raising his voice slightly as the noise around him grew louder. “What if I met them? Let them get to know me? We could arrange something at my house when I get home. They can see the place, see you in it, ask me a million questions over sloppy barbeque? Maybe your brothers can threaten to rough me up or something?”
“That sounds good,” Harmony answered, excitement fluttering in her stomach again as she sat up and left the couch, her body too anxious to be still.
“Okay. Well, listen, I have to go,” Xander said. “I have to help get stuff set up for tonight’s show. Want me to call you when I’m finished tonight?”
“Um, text me first,” Harmony answered, wandering aimlessly around the living room as she spoke. “I have training later, so if I get my butt kicked like I did yesterday, I might be asleep. But if I’m not up to talk tonight, I’ll see you at the airport in the morning, right?”
Wrestling Harmony (The Kingsley Series) Page 24
