by Olivia Arran
“Distance, remember?” I scolded him, but my own lips quirked in answer. I had thought the easygoing Tarq had gone, replaced by this more serious version of him, and it had bothered me…just a little, I told myself.
Tarq sucked in a breath, then grinned at me. “Yes, ma’am. Though we’ll have to figure out some ground rules. No going out in the open, no standing in front of windows. Map your exits.”
This time I was the one nodding. “Right—” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the desk in readiness, “—let’s plan.”
“First, do you trust me?”
What sort of question was that?
He must have read my reaction on my face because he leaned forward, lining his elbows up with mine.
“You need to trust me, Amanda. Otherwise, I can’t keep you safe. I can’t be a good Beta.”
He was so tall, he leaned over the back of the chair easily, his face inches from mine.
He continued, his breath hot on my lips, “You need to find the Beta bond and channel it, strengthen it. Once you have, then I will be able to sense you…”
I could do that, it was natural for the Alpha and Beta pair to have a bond that was stronger than with the rest of the pack, and it sounded like we would need it. I closed my eyes, searching for the bond.
“What do you see?”
“It’s like a mass of tendrils, some wispy and fragile, others stronger, all reaching out and spiraling into the distance.”
“Those are the pack bonds linking to you, their Alpha. Some are more formed because they have accepted you, others are holding back. Can you see any bonds that are stronger, and I mean a lot stronger?”
I could. There were two. One would be Tarq, the strongest, and the other James, one that was obviously fading. “Yes,” I whispered, my mind’s eye watching the threads in wonder. They glowed, pulsing with energy.
“Tug on them. Their energy will taste like the person who you’re connected to. This is how the Alpha knows their pack.”
I did as he asked, and tugged on the bond that pulsed with the most life. Tarq’s essence flooded me, his joy, his love for life, his mischievous flavor of fun and strength. But also, surprisingly, I felt insecurity, longing and intelligence. And creativity, artistic passion. My eyes blinked open. “You’re an artist?”
“I think that’s a discussion for another day, or never,” Tarq said, dismissing my question and indicating that I close my eyes again.
“But I’ve already found our bond—”
“You need to explore all the strong bonds, in case you need them at any point. You want to know how to use them to your advantage.”
He was making sense, so I tugged on the bond that linked me to James. And nearly fell off my chair in shock, my mind desperately wanting to go back, to un-see.
The bond wasn’t with James, it wasn’t a fading bond. It was with Tarq, and it was only just beginning.
***
Tarq
I felt the tug on the Beta bond and opened myself up, allowing Amanda access, knowing that she might need to be able to pull on my strength, should anything go wrong. I couldn’t choose what she would see, and it felt like I was standing naked in front of her, baring my soul for inspection.
After convincing her to test the other bonds, I waited, holding my breath. I knew it was there, but maybe she—
Her eyes flew open and she stared at me in what looked to be horror, shadows of pain in her eyes that I didn’t understand. Why was it so bad? What was so wrong with me that she didn’t want to be tied to me in this way?
“You— We— What have you done?” she stuttered, her usual poise gone, swept away by emotion.
“I haven’t done anything, our souls are reaching out for each other, trying to bond as mates—”
“But— I can’t!” It was my turn to feel pain as tears swam in her eyes, the brilliant sapphire dulling to a murky blue.
I grabbed her hands, stunned to find them cold and shaking. I shouldn’t have shown her, dammit, but I had wanted her to be as strong as possible, and with two bonds connected to me, she could draw on my strength two-fold.
“Amanda, talk to me. Why is it so bad? I can’t understand if I don’t know!”
But she wasn’t listening, her eyes closed tight again. I could see rapid movement beneath her lids, as if she was searching for something, then she let go of the breath she had been holding in a big gush, her shoulders sagging.
Blinking at me, she ripped a hand out of mine and swiped at the tears marking her cheeks. “Can it be undone?”
Now it was my turn to be shell-shocked. I couldn’t get my head around it, was struggling to grasp the fact that my mate point-blank didn’t want me. Had felt the bond, and seen how beautiful it was, yet she still refused me. Even though she could see me now, through both bonds, she had no interest in looking.
I pulled my remaining hand away, lurching to my feet, nearly knocking the chair over in the process.
“No. It can’t. But don’t worry, I’m not so thick-headed that I can’t see when I’m not welcome. I can’t let anything happen to you, so I’ll stay until everything is resolved, then I’ll return to Colstone. You won’t have to see me again.” Pain sliced into my chest, the words stabbing into my heart. My wolf was curled up in a tight ball inside of me, whining in misery. He didn’t know what to do. Like me, he couldn’t comprehend why we were being rejected.
But I had pride, dammit. I turned to leave the room, stumbling in my haste, numbness dulling my senses.
“Tarq—”
I froze, wondering what words she was going to slice me with next.
“Don’t go, please. I need to explain. I should have explained at the beginning. It’s just…painful to talk about.”
I didn’t turn around; I couldn’t look at her. “Does your explanation in any way result in you accepting me as your mate?”
She hesitated. “No, but—”
“Then, you’re right, it doesn’t concern me.” I started walking again, trying to ignore the wobble I had heard in her voice. She doesn’t want you! I screamed inside my head, trying to stop myself from running back to her and gathering her in my arms, soothing away the pain I could feel through the bonds.
“I had a mate…and he died!” The words sounded like they had been ripped from her, sorrow coating every syllable.
My world, everything I thought I had known, collapsed with her revelation.
Fuck!
CHAPTER SEVEN
Amanda
He was frozen with his hand on the door, still not looking at me, and I didn’t blame him. Throwing it out there like that, it hadn’t been fair, but I couldn’t stand it anymore. Couldn’t bear to see him look so broken, so lost. Maybe if I’d explained right at the beginning? But nobody had known—nobody still living, anyway. And it was still too painful to put out there for others to scrutinize, to comment on.
“Who was he?” Tarq’s voice was strained, and he still didn’t turn around, didn’t move.
“His name was Max. And we were childhood sweethearts.” Please turn around, I tried to will Tarq to listen. I couldn’t spill my heart to his back, even though I knew I deserved it. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I continued. “We grew up together, here, at Smithrock. Our parents were friends, and we spent a lot of time together.”
“Were you true mates? Soul bonded?” He still didn’t turn around.
I thought back, trying to remember Max’s face in my mind, but the image was fuzzy, blurred with time. I had my locket to remind me exactly what he had looked like, but I should remember! He had been everything to me, and as teenagers, we’d agreed, when we were older we would complete the bond and claim each other.
“We were true mates.” I knew that, without a shadow of doubt. The bond still reached out from my soul, searching for one who wasn’t there anymore. That’s what I’d been frantically checking before, scared that the bond with Tarq had somehow replaced Max.
“And you loved him?”
&nbs
p; “With all my heart.”
Tarq seemed to deflate in front of my eyes, his shoulders sagging in defeat, his arms swinging listlessly by his sides. “How can I compete?”
I think he was asking himself, the murmur barely above a whisper, but I answered anyway. “You can’t. I made a promise…”
He swung round, fury blazing in his eyes. “To a man that is dead! To a man I cannot challenge for your heart! Wouldn’t he have wanted you to be happy?” He strode toward me and pulled me up out of the chair, vibrating with a frustration that I could feel, could understand.
“Could you forget me, if I died?” I whispered, hating to cause him pain, but I had to make him understand.
He rocked back on his feet, the fury wiped from his eyes. “That’s different—”
“Is it?”
“I love—”
“Don’t! I told you—I can’t!”
He pulled me to him, his strong hands tucking me against his body, and sealed our lips together.
I could taste the desperation on his lips. I tore my mouth from his, pressing a hand against his chest in warning. At least, I think that’s what it was—when he kissed me, all thought flew from my head and all I wanted was him.
“I can’t fight a ghost, Amanda, and I won’t force you, not like—” He stopped short, his lips clamping closed, a pained expression on his handsome face. Taking a deep breath, he continued. “The Mother of All bonded us together. I don’t know how, or why, you were bonded with Max, but I can’t change it. You were given a second chance, one others would kill for. Don’t waste it. Please.”
“I want you—”
“So—”
“—But I can’t give you my heart, my soul. Please understand…”
He screwed his face up in thought, almost comical in seriousness, and it reminded me of his wolf, the playful, big puppy. Playfulness was something I sorely needed in my life, something I hadn’t thought I was capable of again—until I had met Tarq.
“How’s about we go slow? On the emotional side, I mean, not the physical,” he said, the last tumbling out in a rush.
“Let me see if I’ve got this right. You want to court me, but in bed and not out of it?” I raised an eyebrow, wondering if I’d heard him right. “You know I’d still be looking for an arranged mate, for pups?”
“I can give you pups,” he growled, tugging me back to him and pressing his cock firmly against my stomach.
“But we can’t mate because that would be a true mating. And Max—”
“Could you not mention his name?”
I nodded, enjoying the way he was pressed up against me, despite the warning bell sounding in my head. “So, we’d enjoy a physical relationship, but not an emotional one?”
“That’s right,” he murmured, nuzzling into my neck, “at least until I manage to persuade you otherwise…”
“That won’t happen, Tarq—” I had to make sure he understood. My body was all I could share.
“Okay. Physical then…”
Now that sounded like music to my ears. I dragged his head down until we were nose to nose.
“Don’t let me hurt you…” I whispered, staring into the swirling gray depths of his eyes. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, but I wanted him so badly. I wanted to wrap myself around him, feel him moving inside me.
A part of me that I had thought long dead sparked to life, wanting this connection, craving this connection with a ferocious intensity. Yeah, maybe this was a bad idea… I opened my mouth to put a stop to this madness. I must be losing my mind, thinking this could actually work. “Tarq, I don’t—”
“I’m a big boy, I can look after myself,” he said quickly, scooping me up and striding over to the couch, his mouth devouring mine.
All objection vanished from my mind, burned away with the kiss, lust firing through me, demanding that I submit.
My body writhing with need so intense it was almost painful, I couldn’t fight it anymore. Couldn’t fight Tarq.
So I didn’t.
***
Tarq
I had the woman of my dreams below me, her lips matching mine in lustful determination, her hands tugging at my shirt, trying to rip it off in her hurry, and my mind was still reeling.
What the fuck had I just agreed to?
I got that she was still hurting. I didn’t have firsthand experience, sure, but I could imagine how painful it would be to lose a mate. Like losing an arm, or a leg. Amanda rejecting me had nearly turned me into a gibbering wreck, so sure, I could imagine.
But it had to be a long time ago because no one in Colstone had ever head of this Max.
He was a ghost. I was competing for Amanda’s heart with a motherfucking ghost!
I still couldn’t decide whether offering myself to her for a purely physical relationship had been one of my best ideas, but I hadn’t been able to come up with anything else. Once she felt how right we were together, how well we fit…I was hoping she would come around. Praying. Because if she didn’t—
One small hand reached up my chest, and grabbing the neck of my t-shirt, ripped it clean down the middle, bringing me back to the moment with a jolt. Shrugging out of the torn fabric, I threw it onto the floor and focused on the task at hand, the gorgeous woman writhing under me, gasping and moaning into my mouth.
Swallowing her cries, I rubbed my aching cock against her core, her hips bucking up to meet mine, reminding me that the fabric was a barrier that had to go. Pulling away, I urged her top off, up over her head, and popped open the top button of her jeans, sliding my hand inside, searching for her sweet wetness.
She was scalding hot against my fingers, quivering with readiness as I slid a finger deep inside, testing. Man, she was tight, her pussy pulsing around my finger, slick with her lust.
I needed to get inside of her, now. To feel her pulsing around my cock, squeezing as she came…
But first, I couldn’t ignore the bounty laid out before my eyes. Her breasts heaved with every ragged breath she sucked in, the nipples straining at the thin lace covering them. Trailing my tongue around the dusky outline, I sucked through the fabric, flicking the sensitive nub with my tongue. Judging by her cries, it was exactly what she liked, what she wanted. I bit down gently, and when her back arched, I knew exactly what she wanted.
My mate was a tough as nails Alpha in and out of bed.
“Harder,” she moaned, raking her nails down my back, confirming what I already knew, and I obeyed her hoarse command, biting down into her sweet, soft flesh, regretting that I couldn’t see the dimpling of my teeth marks through the thin lace.
Pushing me away, she quickly unzipped her jeans and shoved them down to her ankles, kicking them off, sending them flying across the room to land on the desk. Her panties quickly followed until she was laid bare before me, my dreams come to life.
Jeez! My hands shook a little as I unsnapped my fly, my cock finally springing free of the constricting denim. It was actually going to happen, she wanted me, she was offering herself to me. My wolf howled his joy inside of me, spurring me on.
Giving me no time to shuck them off, she wrapped a hand around the base of my cock, and with no warning whatsoever, swirled her tongue around the end, lapping up the stickiness, then swallowing the head in one smooth motion.
Fuck! I sucked in a huge breath, my back bowed as she worked her way up and down my cock, her hand pumping what she couldn’t take in her mouth. She seemed to like it, her moans vibrating along my shaft, nearly causing me to spill early.
Okay, maybe this physical thing might work…
I felt the familiar tightening at the base of my cock, and urged her away. I wanted inside of her, not this way.
“Tarq?”
Her sweet confusion melted into one of knowing when I pushed her back onto the couch, shucking off my jeans, and knelt above her.
Her eyes were glazed with lust, her chest flushed, and she was still wearing that damn bra. “Just physical, remember?” she managed to groan, while
I extended a claw and sliced the straps clean off her shoulders, revealing the most perfect breasts I had ever seen.
“Uhuh,” I mumbled, sucking one of her rosy peaks into my mouth, swirling the tip with my tongue. She could take that any way she wanted. I might have agreed to a purely physical relationship, but I was counting on her changing her mind.
“Then, what are you waiting for? A signed invitation?”
Yep. Alpha to the core. I grinned, tilting my hips back, the tip of my cock brushing against her entrance.
“Not at all, babe,” I quipped, and thrust deep inside, into my mate. My love.
***
Amanda
He had been grinning again, but it vanished the second he entered me, powerfully thrusting deep inside. Now, his lips were parted, his eyelids fluttering closed, jaw tight with lust.
He had been driving me mad, nipping at my breasts, licking and sucking while his fingers worked their magic, teasing and taunting me. But it hadn’t been enough. I’d needed this, his cock stretching me, filling me completely.
Joining us.
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the thought that had crept in, and gave myself up to the moment, the feel of him gliding in and out, the sliding of skin against skin, the steel length of him probing deep inside. Purely physical, remember?
He groaned, his entire body tense above me, muscles undulating as his hips moved with teasing slowness, rotating and thrusting. Braced above me, I could see the small beads of sweat on his chest, the sheen coating his skin, as he fucked deep inside of me in slow, controlled movements.
I didn’t want controlled, I wanted uninhibited. Forceful. I wanted him to unleash his power and take me.
I raked my nails down his back, digging into his hips, thrusting up to meet him. “I know you can do better than this, babe.”
The implied insult hung between us for a second, then his eyes narrowed, his mouth twisting into a smirk, one of naughty promise.
“Oh, I know I can, babe” he growled, his eyes flashing silver, then without warning, he picked me up, turned me over, and thrust back into me with a force that had the couch sliding several inches forward.
