by Adair Rymer
Star gasped for air from the strangling she'd endured and took advantage of the distraction. She rolled off the table. I snatched up a nearby glass and hurled it against an adjacent wall, narrowly missing Britney. Top scanned the room but he couldn't place the thrower and by then I had already grabbed another mug and was filling it at the tap.
Top was murderously angry but he did have an obligation to both all of us and to Muse. This brawl had gone too far and he needed it ended now. It would take him a little while to de-fuck the place enough to get back to Star. He pulled up his pants and walked into the throng of bodies.
I didn't waste any time getting to Star. She was a sobbing mess. “Put these on.” I tossed her the clothes. Betrayed, she looked at me through watery eyes with the utmost skepticism. A luxury neither of us had time for right now. “Hate me later. You don't want to be here when he comes back.”
Lying there naked, I fully understood why Top attacked her so ravenously. Had this been not the shittiest combination of time and place I don't think I could have restrained myself either. The flickering neon lights played off her perfect but bruising flesh as she hustled to make heads or tails of the bundle of clothes.
Everything about her form was exciting. I knew right then that I had to try it. I wanted to wear her like a blanket. Drag my tongue along all the curves she traced earlier on the bar. She slid the jean shorts over her tight, shaved pussy. It was heartbreaking to see it go.
I shook my head to clear my mind. If I was caught here helping her, I'd be fucked. Bodies flew in every direction as Top bellowed commands. It was still chaos but given more time he'd quell the riot. She needed to ghost. Now. I picked up her glasses, a habit I wasn't thrilled with, and grabbed her by the shirt. We slipped out of the room and into the breezeway that divided the bar from the hotel.
I tossed her a key and her glasses. “Room 203.” Then, I turned back to the bar.
“Why are you helping me?” She was on the brink of losing her shit. I couldn't answer. Honestly I didn't know either. “I don't understand you! You save me just to watch me suffer? Do you get off on my pain? Is that it, you sadistic fuck?” I still couldn't face her.
She shoved me. I whirled around and grabbed her. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I had to squeeze her arms to stop her from throwing punches at me. “Please just tell me if I can trust you. I need this, please, just tell me. I can't handle this!”
Star stopped struggling and stemmed her crying. She just looked at me. The hallway was dark, it had started to rain. Water pattered along the curved glass ceiling. Gentle crashes of a distant storm echoed across the empty plains. Our world inside this hallway was still. If I had something to say, this was the perfect time to say it. “This world is fucked, fast and rough. I am cancer. I am death's handshake. In my wake, I leave only ruin. No, you can't trust me.”
Her face started to fall but I was able to turn away in time to be spared most of it. She was right to hate me. To fear me. The farther away from me she got the longer she'd live.
I walked back into the bar.
Top had it mostly wrapped up, now. I helped him pull the last of the blind, thrashing drunks off each other. He yelled for a bit but he understood why all this went down. The grieving process is as fucked and stupid as we are. I helped clean off the bar, and had the mortified bartenders slide everyone who was still standing another round. There was so much blood, beer and debris that it looked like a war zone.
“I'm not looking forward to explainin' this to Muse. I'll wake up with my balls on her shelf,” Top chuckled.
“Heh, yeah. Hell of a night. Just give those big black tits a her's a good motorboatin' and she'll be fine,” Skank piped up.
“Before or after the entirety of the gas station score?” I offered, and we all laughed.
For the rest of the night, every time Top would look around for Star I reeled him back in with a story, question or joke, all the while feeding him shots. After a few hours we were all pretty drunk. Top was asleep on the bar, the ones that could walk stumbled off to their rooms. We all had hell to pay for the destruction, but that was tomorrow's problem.
I was still horny as fuck from Star's bar dance and was about to find a back room and rub one out, but I spotted the blonde from earlier asleep in a booth. She'd disappeared a while ago to the shooting gallery and came back on a wicked nod. Fucking junkies. I woke her up and walked her upstairs.
The Blonde's room was closer and I no longer had my keys so we just went there. We crashed through her door and were undressing before we hit the ground. She kissed me and I tolerated it. I grabbed her by the crotch. I didn't even bother sliding her panties off, just flicked them to the side and unceremoniously rammed my middle two fingers into her.
“Unh,” she grunted. Her pussy was warm and slick but nothing spectacular. With ease I slid in a third and curled my digits. She moaned now, still softly. Fuck, I want this girl to scream. A forth finger slid in. “Fuck!” she called out.
Now her eyes were fully opened. Her arms slid impotently behind her as she struggled to prop herself up. My fingers pushed the cunt's sidewalls farther apart and slithered back and forth in a beckoning motion. A scream. First of many.
This is how I grieved.
She'd numbly managed to get to her knees on my shoulder. That wasn't good enough, and hell I, already had a handle. I flexed my arm and hoisted her to her feet. I felt that scream vibrate through her pussy lips. Better, but I needed more. My fingers, inside her, pulsed and tensed. I lifted her off her feet.
Her ass slapped down onto the TV mounted cabinet. That scream must've woken the neighbors. When she stammered for more I pulled out completely, my hand covered in her sticky juices. I wiped the clear liquid off on her stomach and just stood there until she begged.
“Pleasepleaseplease.” She crumbled forward on top of me. I pulled back further, she followed. I hit the bed and laid down with my feet still on the carpeting. Something large shifted off the mattress and fell. I didn't have the time to check what it was before the blonde landed on me.
“Not a lollipop...” It took a second to register her muffled words, with her mouth stuffed full with my cock. She was zealous but it was still only passable. I let her go to town for a hot minute. She was sloppy and loose with it. The pressure was in all the wrong spots. I had to stop her and flip her over. The girl just could not suck dick.
“Fuck me. Fuck me fuck me fuck me!” She squirmed and clawed for me. To pull me in. I was just another fix for her. That's fine. I didn't even know this bitch's name.
I knelt before her, her head by the foot board, cock in hand rubbing back and forth. It was still slick from her slobber. The girl was good for something, apparently. There was no easing when I thrust into her, this girl was trash. She existed here in this moment to please me, that was it. I rammed hard enough to crack her pelvis and I still barely felt anything.
The girl beneath me groaned vacantly but I barely heard it. My head was elsewhere. Images of Star cascaded my thoughts. Every dull thrust into this blonde made the dream of Star feel more vivid. Felt her close. My body yearned for her. My eyes mashed shut, I could see her crawling toward me across the bar. I opened them to find the street light, that filtered into the room through the sheer curtains, glinting off a pair of ovals on a metal frame. Glasses. Star's glasses? I must have been drunker than I thought.
“Who the fuck is that?” The blonde asked, but I wasn't really listening. I just flipped her over, grabbed her hips and pushed her face into the comforter. My thumbs pulled back her ass cheeks. I plunged my dick inside until my balls slapped against her still gaping cunt.
My hard cock glided out just to crash back in. Over and over. The blonde convulsed and screamed but all the while I was looking at a dream. The dream stood there breathing heavily, watching me fuck this complete stranger with utter disdain.
“Oh god. Oh god. I'm gonna coooome. Unh! Fuck.” The blonde wiggled beneath me in between moans and gasps. It was tight eno
ugh and I was close as well. I squeezed her hips and pulled her into my groin. It was basically just masturbation but with a hand the size on an entire woman.
Through the litany of scents coming from both me and the sweaty junky, fleeting whiffs of Star made my head swim. The dark figure who must have been a hallucination moaned softly. I immediately came.
“Star?” I asked. The hallucination bolted for the open door and I collapsed on top of the used up junkie. Sleep took me.
Chapter 3
Star
I remember running down the halls, even making it outside into the driving rain. Despite the sad streetlight, the night was hauntingly dark and the road in both directions was inky black. Occasionally lightning sparked up a distant patch of nothingness, miles away.
I then realized that The Burning Pig was the lone island in a sea of limitless flatland. I had died, this was Hell, and Remy was a demon sent to torment me.
My helplessness was crushing, it brought me to my knees on the rough, endless road, in front of the hotel. Rain soaked me to the bone. I had no tears left to cry. Thoughts of everything but him drained away with the rain.
Remy's ruggedly stern face and hard eyes laid my soul bare. I'd never be able to shake what he told me. When he saved me from Top, I let myself hope, for the first time in such a long, long time. It was only yesterday that I had a normal life but that concern for me, when he helped me out of that booth... No one has ever had to save me before. Did he save me, though? It was his fault I'm even here! No, even then... It was really all Todd's fault for killing Bren.
I breathed heavily. I was glad Todd was dead. Truly. I'd watch him die again if I could.
Oh my god, was that really me? What was I becoming? I started to hyperventilate. “My name is Star Keller, I'm from a small house on Golfview Drive in Manchester, New Hampshire. I grew up near the Merrimack River. I like to read indie graphic novels and watch the CW.”
I needed to say it out loud. But hearing them, the words felt empty. Less and less real, like I was grasping at smoke.
“I'm me. I'm the same me that I've always been.” I fought to hold onto that but again he invaded my thoughts. Remy saved me back then, too. I was just too angry to see it for what it was. But what was it?
I screamed as loud and long as I could on that cold, black highway, my voice nearly drowned out by the storm. I expected people to come running out to ask me if I was hurt. No one came. I was forced to remind myself that this wasn't the normal world. No one gives a damn here for a lost girl. I'm not a person anymore. I put my head down and found more tears.
When I finally had the courage to walk back inside, I was so exhausted that I couldn't think straight. I found an open door, a broom closet apparently, and collapsed. I could feel blessed sleep courting me but images of Remy kept even that at bay.
The way he was with the other girl in the hotel room. Rough, angry and distracted. I knew I should've left right away but my legs refused to carry me. The light carved out dark, rigid lines on his torso and arms. His muscles slid like pistons beneath scarred, sun worn skin. I watched him. That same strong hand that saved me on his motorcycle, I could almost feel it squeezing my hips. My temperature was rising just thinking about him. That animalistic nature made me lose control. I couldn't look away.
When he saw me, I had to brace myself against the wall to keep from falling and shattering across the floor, like stained glass. At the time I was sure he brought her there, to that room, out of some kind of bottomless cruelty. Just to see how much he could break me. To save me, to raise me up enough just to watch me fall.
I know he saw me. I know it but the last thing he said... my name. He'd never said it before, and the way he said it held no malice, nor spite. Just soft, compassionate confusion. I know he saw me. He looked right at me the whole time he...
Why was seeing him with another woman so painful? We weren't dating. He outright told me not to trust him. Not that he ever even said that he would save me. It was just his actions.
Oh my god, it's Stockholm Syndrome.
That explains it. I'm not crazy for falling in love with a sadistic psychopath. Thank god.
The morning came far too soon. If only I could never have woken up. But here I was. I listened for the rain. It sounded like the storm was over. I needed to leave before the bikers woke up. Maybe I could steal a car. It couldn’t be that hard, right?
I felt terrible. The room was nice and warm but my clothes were still damp. I really should've taken them off last night before sleep but I wasn't thinking. It didn't matter now. I crept out of the small closet, the coast was clear so at a brisk pace I made my way toward a fire exit. My stomach growled painfully. When was the last time I ate?
I prayed that it wasn't one of the alarmed doors when I pushed it open. Nothing. Thank god! I wasn't sure how to break into cars so I just pulled at door handles until I found one of them that was unlocked.
Okay, from all the fiction I've seen there was likely to be a set of keys on the floor or in the visor or glove compartment. I know I shouldn't be relying on that stuff but really, what else was I going to do?
There was nothing, no keys. Dammit!
“Why, Mr. Jensen, have you been working out?” Shit. It was that woman, Muse.
“This isn't what it looks like.” I lied, backing my way out of the car.
She cocked her hips and shot me a look that saw through my bullshit. “Oh no?”
“Listen, I'm so sorry. I just need to get out of here. I was kidnapped—”
“I know who you are, little bird. Come on back inside, I can't have you making a scene out here.” Muse started back toward the hotel, then stopped when she realized that I wasn't following her. “Little bird, please don't make me force you. The people I call won't be nearly as pretty or understanding as me, I assure you.”
I followed her. We went right through the kitchen. It was your standard hotel fare, but it all smelled amazing. I was able to pocket a paring knife as we walked by. I didn't know if I had the ability to use it, but I liked having the option.
Then she brought me into the dining room. Nice tile-work on the floor, the tables were wood with granite inlay. It was very pretty, better than most hotel dining areas I'd been to. “You must be simply famished,” she said. “Poor dear.”
“Oh god yes, may I?”
“In a moment.” She poured me a cup of tea and sat me down at a table. The room was mostly empty. One couple was just wrapping up. Even the leftover scraps of eggs and french toast on their plate with the used napkin and creamer packages littered on top looked decadent. “So tell me, little bird, how is it that you are joining me for breakfast?” She crossed her long legs and sipped her tea with a curious and playful air. That of a cat, sizing up a caged canary. “The boys usually don't bring in too many strays.”
My stomach groaned and twisted. It was torture. “I don't know, everything has just been so crazy. These bikers showed up at my aunt and uncle's gas station. There was all this shooting.” Why was I telling her this? God, I was so hungry.
“Oh, you poor dear. You wait right here and I'll fix you up some breakfast.”
I didn't know how to take Muse, and after last night I couldn't take any chances. The second she was gone I scanned the room. Bingo. There was a phone on the wall by the concierge desk. I scurried over as quickly and quietly as I could.
This was the first time I'd ever called the police for anything. It's been firsts for a lot of things lately, like near rape and murder. Right away a dispatcher picked up. “911, what's your emergency?”
“Hello? I need help!” I whispered as loudly as I dared while my eyes darted around the room for signs of movement. I heard Muse call from the other room and I panicked.
“So Star, is it? My girls tell me you had quite the eventful night. I'm Mercy, but the boys all call me Muse. I know you're hungry but almost done, sweetness.” Shit! I hung up the phone and ran back to my seat. Good thing, too, because a moment later Muse appeared with a
plate of eggs, bacon, and some of that French toast that looked so good.
“Mercy, that's such a pretty name.” I nodded to her. That's exactly what I needed right now some food and mercy...
“You eat up, sweetness. I'll get you a glass of juice to wash that down with. So, Star, who did you ride in with?”
I thought about running back to the phone, but there was no way I'd make it. I decided to stay and eat. My stomach growled in appreciation. “Remy,” I blurted out in between heaping mouthfuls. “I don't know why, but—he saved me. Do you know him?”
“Sweetness, I know everyone.” Someone like Mercy, a woman that could thrive in this barbaric world, I didn't doubt that she did. She smiled hungrily. “Remy, now there's a dangerous boy. As beautiful as his is deadly. You say he's the one that brought you here? Interesting.”
“Why?” Despite my hunger, I slowed down and just picked at my plate to give her a little more attention. I was curious as to what she could tell me about him.
“Out of all of them, he's the least likely to wrap himself in the, shall we say, troubles of others? Although...”
“What?” She flashed me an odd look. Like she just remembered an actors name that was on the tip of her tongue all day.
“Oh it's nothing, sweetness. You just remind me of someone Remy used to bring here a lot. Back when the Steel Veins first started showing up.”
“Who?” Was that why he took me?
“A pretty little thing named Maria but that was a lifetime ago.”
“Maria...” I said the words aloud absently. “Who was—”
“Oh Star-honey, that's none of my business. Best we don't talk about that.” She patted my knee in a very dismissive yet authoritative way. That conversation path was closed.
“Ok... He's so guarded, but I think there's a decent man somewhere in there. He saved me from that... man.” I caught myself. I know Muse and Top knew each other so I'd have to choose my words carefully. “Top, I think his name is. I don't if I would be alive now if he hadn't gotten me out of that bar last night. That was some pretty serious shit.” A shiver tore through me, the scene replayed in my mind. That giant's grizzly hands tearing through my clothes like paper. I shivered again.
