by Talia Hunter
When he turned it on, the engine roared louder than she’d expected. But as they glided slowly away from the boat shed, her arms relaxed slightly. The ocean stretched out in front of them, glistening and beautiful. It was exhilarating to think they might skim over it, closer to it than they would be on any boat. As early as it was, there was still warmth in the sun and it felt good against her bare arms and legs. Almost as good as it felt having Blake in front of her. For some reason, just being this close to him made her feel safe. She’d never thought she’d be able to trust him again, but after last night, how could she not trust Blake? He’d touched something that had been hidden so deep inside her, she hadn’t even realized it was there.
Blake turned his head. “You ready?”
She squeezed his waist in answer, then clung on for real as he sped up. Suddenly they were flying across the sea, the wind strong against her limbs, droplets of water flying up and hitting her legs. She laughed out loud with the feeling of speed, the exhilaration of racing so fast. The Jet Ski seemed to flatten out the waves so they ran smoothly over the surface, barely shuddering at all. Even the engine noise dropped behind them, too slow to keep up with them.
“Look!” He pointed and she saw a fin break the water. A shark? Then the creature’s sleek black body rose higher, almost leaping right out of the sea before diving again. A dolphin! No wait, there were two of them. The dolphins skimmed just under the water a short distance from the Ski, swimming together.
“We won’t hit them, will we?”
He turned his head sideways so she could see his smile. “Not a chance. See how fast they are? Sometimes they’ll come and play with the Ski, jumping over the wake, or racing in front of it. But today it looks like they’re too busy hunting for breakfast.”
Sure enough, the two dolphins suddenly put on a burst of speed and shot away, disappearing off into the blue depths. She watched them go with a deep sense of awe. What amazing creatures they were. She was so lucky to have seen them.
She looked forward again, to where the sun was slowly rising. The light danced off the water and, to one side, a group of sea birds was diving for fish. It was incredible out here, so beautiful her heart ached with it. How could she be in the least bit sorry to be here instead of at the conference? There was nowhere in the entire world she’d rather be.
Her arms squeezed Blake’s waist, and she rested her head on his back for a moment. “Thank you,” she said into his ear.
“I knew you’d love it.”
How did he know? Was it because he’d known her so well all those years ago, and people don’t really change? If that were true, then he was also the same person now as he had been then. Maybe he was. She wasn’t confident she’d known him well at all, in spite of spending so much time together. For all her book smarts, she could be dumb when it came to people.
“You ready for some breakfast?” Blake’s voice broke into her thoughts and he nodded ahead at a tiny island, so small the Jet Ski could probably roar right around it in a minute or two. It was covered in dense bushes and trees, except for a tiny sandy beach on one side. No people, and no sign that anyone had ever visited it before. A tiny deserted island in the middle of the Pacific. What could possibly be more romantic?
He slowed down as they got close, then gently coasted right into the beach until the bottom of the Jet Ski slid across the sand. Blake killed the engine and jumped into the shallow water, offering his hand to help her down. As he dropped a small anchor and pushed the Jet Ski a little way off the beach to keep it safe, she walked up onto the sand, taking off her life jacket and letting it fall. The beach was small, but the sand was white and fine, and the clear blue water gently lapped its edge. There wasn’t another person for miles. The resort was a dim blur on the horizon, and the nearest boats were so far away nobody could possibly see them.
When she turned, Blake was spreading a picnic blanket in the shade of an overhanging tree. He stretched out on it with a sigh of satisfaction and opened the bag he’d picked up from the hotel’s reception. No, not a bag. A picnic basket. Inside were plates and cups and cutlery, along with some parcels wrapped in tinfoil.
“Coffee?” he asked, picking up a thermos.
She laughed, shaking her head in amazement. “When on earth did you organize all this?”
“Oh, I often come out here for breakfast. All it took was one phone call while you were still sleeping this morning, to tell the kitchen staff to pack enough for two people instead of one.” He lifted the edge of the tinfoil package, peered inside, then looked up with a grin. “I hope you like fresh-baked, warm croissants with homemade jam.”
“You’re incredible, you know that?”
His grin turned into a smirk of satisfaction. “You’re only just figuring that out?”
She flopped down on the blanket next to him and accepted a cup of coffee. “This is your life, Blake? You do this all the time?”
“Sure. Why not?”
She was thinking of the way her mornings usually went. Waking up to a cold, gray dawn, a fruit salad on the run, then long hours in front of her computer or lecturing to university students. Not that she disliked it. The opposite—she was lucky enough that her work fascinated and absorbed her. But still, when you compared it to the morning she was having right now, it seemed like drudgery. “Most people don’t live like this.”
He shrugged. “I work hard, too. I save mornings for out here, but quite often I’ll be at my desk working most of the night. Talking to investors, sorting out problems, or doing paperwork.” He put a croissant on a plate and handed it to her. “But this is what I really love. The water, this place, the Ski. I’m going to hate leaving it all behind on Saturday. Especially because I won’t have time for anything but work in Indonesia.”
She cocked her head and studied his face. “If you hate to leave so much, why are you going?”
“It’s what I do. Everyone’s got to do something, right? For me it’s resorts.”
“You love it?”
He shrugged. “Not as much as I love this,” he admitted. Then he grinned. “Especially today. Eating warm croissants on a deserted beach with a drop-dead gorgeous, sexy woman. It would take a lot to beat it.”
“Do you bring a lot of women out here?”
“Only the ones who let me do this.” He ran the hand that wasn’t holding his coffee around her back, drawing her close enough so that he could reach over and kiss her deeply. He tasted of warm coffee, and there were tiny grains of salt on his lips. The feel of his mouth made her remember last night. A tingle went through her, starting between her legs and going right down to her toes.
The instant his lips lifted from hers she wanted them back. She almost grabbed his shoulders to stop him pulling away but instead turned back to her coffee. What was he doing to her? When she kissed him, she felt like she was working on an equation where all the constants had been exchanged for variables, but somehow the solution still made perfect sense.
She’d given up trying to analyze what it was about him that affected her so strongly. It was everything about him, with no way to fight it. Instead of getting him out of her system, he was only burrowing in deeper. Blake was becoming a drug for her, a terrible addiction. She was going to be in trouble when she had to leave him and go home, and that wasn’t far away. She was booked on a flight right after her presentation. Lord, that was tomorrow, so they’d only have one more night together. It was going too fast.
As though he’d read her thoughts, he asked, “Do you think you could ever live in a place like this?”
“I’d happily give up my lecturing work, because I only do it for the money. I could do my research pretty much anywhere. But without lecturing, unless I get more funding than I have right now, I couldn’t afford to pay my rent.”
“And you’re hoping the talk you’re going to give at the conference might help to get you more funding?”
“I’m very much hoping that it helps keep my existing funding from being cut. It would
be wonderful if I managed to get some extra money but, unfortunately, times are tight. Not many private investors want to put money into the kind of research I do, and grants are becoming harder to get.”
She ate her croissant, thinking about tomorrow’s presentation. Her speech had to be perfect, but for some reason when she had to speak in front of a large group, she found it difficult to stop her voice from shaking. It wasn’t logical to be afraid because you were talking to two hundred people instead of just one or two. But however silly she knew her fear was, public speaking still made her throat dry and her hands tremble. She could only hope it wouldn’t affect how Dr. Partington viewed her. Although maybe, if Blake was there, she could focus on him and try to tune out the rest of the room. If she could pretend she was only speaking to him, it might calm her nerves. “Will you come to my presentation?” she asked. “It’s tomorrow at ten o’clock.”
“I wish I could. My friends are getting married tomorrow, on the beach. I’m supposed to be part of the ceremony.”
She felt a stab of disappointment, but shrugged it off along with the crumbs of her breakfast. “It doesn’t matter. Only, you know I have to catch the twelve thirty ferry? I’ll only have an hour or so after my presentation before I have to take a taxi to the wharf.”
He leaned over and gently stroked her cheek. “Caylee, I’m sorry I won’t get to see you talk about your work. If there were any way I could be there tomorrow, I would be. I wish things were different and we had more time together. A lot more time. But the ceremony should be finished around the same time as your speech so, at the very least, I’ll be able to sneak away for long enough to say good-bye.”
She was struck by an upwelling of feeling for him. How could she ever have imagined that her childhood bully would turn into such a caring, thoughtful man? He’d been her knight in shining armor when she needed him most, looked after her better than anyone ever had. And now he’d given her this unforgettable, stunning morning, too. Dolphins from the back of a Jet Ski. Breakfast on a beautiful beach. How had she ever doubted him?
Caylee lay back on the blanket and enjoyed the way Blake’s eyes roamed over her body. She gave him an enticing smile, arching her back a little. “It’s only eight o’clock, and we’re marooned here on this deserted island with nobody else around for miles. How on earth will we ever fill in the next couple of hours?”
Chapter Twelve
By the time Blake dropped Caylee off at the resort, she was practically purring with the feeling of having been very well-loved and utterly spent. She went back to the suite with a skip in her step and hummed to herself in the shower. When had she ever felt this good? Never. Not in her whole life. This was true happiness, true contentment. Why had she ever thought she could find it with a sensible man who ticked boxes but didn’t stir something deep in her soul? There had to be a way she and Blake could be together, some way to keep their relationship going even after she went home and he left for Indonesia. Somehow they’d work it out.
She put on a blouse and skirt and slipped on her sandals. Okay, she was ready, except for her hair. Her hair tie had been whipped out by the wind, and instead of a neat ponytail it had become a hopelessly tangled mess. Trying to tug a comb through it made her wince. Did Blake have a hairbrush he used to tame his tousled hair? There wasn’t one in his bathroom, but maybe in the drawer by his bed.
Caylee opened the drawer. There was no hairbrush, but peeking out from under a paperback thriller was another, hardback book that looked familiar. She tugged it out of the drawer. Its cover was more battered than she’d remembered. On the front it said Private and Confidential in faded black handwriting. Her handwriting.
Her breath turned jagged as she slowly opened the book to the first page.
Dear Diary,
Today was the first day of school. Horrible! I have Mr. Holliway for math and I don’t think he even knows about differential equations. I said to Lynda that he should be teaching kindergarten and he must have heard me…
Caylee closed her diary and hugged it to her chest so tightly it felt as though she could push it into herself and use it to fill up the aching sinkhole that had opened up inside her. The sinkhole that had sucked her heart right out of her. Blake had lied to her. He’d sworn he hadn’t stolen from her, but how could he explain this?
If Blake had taken her diary and lied about it, it seemed far less likely that someone else had also come into her bedroom and stolen her other things. Could she really believe there’d been two thieves that night?
She rooted around in the drawer, looking for her grandma’s ring. It wasn’t there, of course. Blake had probably sold it years ago, not caring how much it had meant to her, that it was the only thing she had left to remember her grandma. How could he have done it?
And had he really left her a letter, or was that a lie too? If Blake had been the only one in her room that night, she’d have found his letter on her pillow. Unless it was just a story he’d made up to cover the fact that he’d left without bothering to explain. And now that she was thinking about it clearly, why on earth would a burglar take his letter? It didn’t make any sense.
Tears swelled in Caylee’s eyes as a too-familiar pain of betrayal stabbed her. She’d sworn she’d never let anyone hurt her like that again, and yet she had. Not just anyone, the same man. Why hadn’t she learned her lesson the first time Blake knifed her in the heart? She thought she was so smart, but she was stupid, stupid, stupid.
No, she wouldn’t cry for him again. She wouldn’t let him do this to her again.
Caylee threw the diary on the bed that was still messy from their lovemaking and ran from the suite. Blake would most likely be at the boat shed, washing down the Jet Ski. She was going to find him and tell him exactly what she thought of him. She’d demand an explanation, and this time she wouldn’t let herself be taken in by lies.
But she couldn’t find Blake at the boat shed. Where was he? The Jet Ski was gone. Had he decided to take another trip out on the water?
She walked along the beach, searching out to sea. As she rounded the point, she saw a Jet Ski cruising along slowly, moving away from her. Was that Blake? Caylee squinted through the brightness of the day. No, it couldn’t be Blake, because there was a woman on the back of the ski. A blond, attractive woman, wearing shorts and a life jacket. The Jet Ski wasn’t moving very fast and her long blond hair was lazily lifted by the wind. She leaned forward to talk to the driver in front of her. To reply, he turned his face to the side, and Caylee’s stomach screwed up into a ball. Blake.
The woman must have said something funny, because Blake laughed. Then he sped up the Jet Ski. The woman put her arms around his waist, hugging him tight, and Blake turned the Jet Ski away from the shore. He roared off, out to sea, sending up a plume of water in his wake.
Caylee watched him go, squinting against the glare until he became just a tiny speck, and continued staring long after she couldn’t see him anymore. She felt sick. Was he headed back out to the deserted island for another romantic picnic? She had a sudden memory of his answer that morning when she’d asked him if he took lots of women out to the little beach. He hadn’t denied it. He’d said, Only the women who let me do this, and kissed her. What if he hadn’t been joking? What if he took a different woman out there every day?
Caylee swallowed bile. She felt like throwing up. Blake was a thief and a liar, just as she’d known all along. Sure, he could be taking another woman out on his Jet Ski for a completely innocent reason, but combined with her discovery of the diary, it was too much. And she couldn’t help picturing him spreading that picnic blanket out under the shade of the overhanging tree and the blonde lying back on it exactly as Caylee had. The two of them could be getting ready to make love right now.
Sinking to her knees in the sand, Caylee dropped her face into her hands. How had everything changed so quickly? It seemed like only a few minutes ago she’d been so perfectly happy, and now she wished she could tear her own heart out to quench the
fire that seared it, the fire that was burning all her hopes into ashes.
It was more than an hour before Caylee could get slowly to her feet. She had to go on. She couldn’t afford to miss any more of the conference, and there was her dinner with Dr. Partington tonight. She had to pull herself together. Blake might have ripped away her trust and her self-respect, but she’d be damned if she’d let him ruin her career.
Caylee closed her eyes and breathed deeply, forcing all emotion deep down inside. Mentally she wrapped it in a casing of hardened steel. She wouldn’t let herself feel the pain. She wouldn’t let herself feel at all.
It took a long time and once or twice she almost lost it again, but eventually her stomach stopped churning and she felt calm enough to open her eyes. Her breathing was long and slow. There were no tears now. She brushed the sand off her skirt and concentrated on keeping her face blank as she walked to the conference. A lecture was halfway through, but she eased herself into a seat at the back and concentrated on the long rows of numbers the presenter was writing on the whiteboard. Numbers were safe. She could fall into them and allow them to absorb her, to take her mind to a different place, away from pain. Once she could focus on unraveling their mysteries, everything else would become unimportant. Numbers were the antidote to emotion. They were like a serum that could make her forget, or at least allow her to push the pain so far down inside her that she could keep it hidden, even from herself. For a while at least.
She only had to make it through one more night on the island, and then she could leave. Then she could fall apart. Until then she’d concentrate on maintaining her hard outer shell, which held back the unwanted emotions churning inside her.
…
When Blake had dropped Caylee off that morning, he’d been as happy and content as he’d ever felt. But as the day wore on, he became more and more convinced he’d made a mistake. He was going to Indonesia, and yes, he’d told her. But he hadn’t fully explained to her what that meant. He didn’t know what she expected from him, but there was no way he could commit to a long-distance relationship, no matter how much he might want to.
