by Leah Banicki
The morning air was crisp but when the sun was warm and hinted at a delightful day. It would be in the mid 60’s temperature-wise, and a good stretch of the legs was welcome.
“You called yourself Zee on the phone when you answered.” I said casually as we walked toward the lake. The mist was nearly gone and the sky was robin’s egg blue. It was stunning.
“It’s been a lifelong nickname. Not too many folks with a last name that start with Z. That and with the pronouncing issues, even teachers started calling me Zee. I like it.” He shrugged, making me notice his broad shoulders again.
I was comfortable on the walk and enjoyed the fresh sir and warm sun. We stopped at a bench and I took a few shots of the local wildlife showing off. We sat still for a while just soaking up the day. I felt comfortable in the quiet with Jackson. I raised my head toward the sun and let its warmth soak in. It was heavenly. I stayed that way a few minutes until I heard a hawk call out. I was blinded for a few seconds but I adjusted quickly and looked over to Jackson. I could tell he had been looking at me. I bit my lip nervously, hoping I was not blushing too much.
“I have to be blunt Hannah. You intimidate the heck outta me.” He shocked me to my toes with his announcement. Me intimidate him… he is a famous bestselling author and handsome… and charming. I could go on.
“That’s impossible.” I stated flatly, not sure what to say.
“Well I watched the show and was always impressed by your poise and morals. But seeing you in person is just…well interesting. You are very different than I expected.” He stated simply.
“Well thanks I guess I still don’t know how to handle the fame thing.” I said lamely.
“I have been practicing a few years and still struggle. I can be a pal and baby-step you through it.” He grinned his charming grin again.
“I could really use a pal with that particular skillset.” I said and reached out for a handshake. The deal was struck.
“Well first thing I learned was how to take a compliment. Sunday school never prepared you for this. We are given humility lessons and self-deprecation was my biggest struggle at first. I wanted to downplay everything.” Jackson shared. I could see his point and made a mental note to think about that.
“Well, I do have trouble with that.” I said. I watched him close his eyes and nod.
“Yeah, ya do!”
I laughed at the blunt way he said it straight out.
“Don’t be shy now.” I said and laughed again.
“Well I can help you practice by complimenting you all morning, okay?” Jackson suggested.
I nodded and groaned.
“I think you would prefer I insult you, then fine.” He stood up and frowned.
“You are just too pretty. I can’t stand the way you laugh at my jokes and chew your eggs so quietly. Disgusting!” He pulled me up from the bench and we headed back towards his home. I gladly followed while giggling. I could see a friendship forming.
We got back to the house and I got an idea.
“If I am supposed to stay until Ruby comes to lunch I can make myself comfortable with your manuscript.” I pointed over to the corner where the red leather chair waited for me. “I know just the place to read your ‘baby’.” I actually saw him get a hint of a blush. That was fun.
“Well I can try and get to work for a few hours. I usually cannot write with someone in the house. This will test my focusing skills.” He gestured for me to sit and even carried my bag over to me with the manuscript in it.
I spent the next two hours engrossed in his crime drama. The characters where excellent and the hint of romance between two characters had me blushing. It’s so interesting to put a face to the author, because you start to wonder at certain scenes, where they got their inspiration, but actually knowing the person made it different. I guess it’s the same for any type of artist. I stopped reading when I heard a car pull into the gravel driveway. * * * * *
Ruby Pearson was a bundle of energy. Her eyes were a sparkly green that turned up in the corners and she had an attractive feline look about her. She was tall, thin, and moved around at a constant pace. She flitted… I figured out the word after being there for a few minutes with her. She had a large and welcome smile and an instant hug as she walked in. There was a streak of movement that ran in with her but he was there and gone before I could even determine a species.
“Welcome to the family.” Ruby said as she hugged me.
“Already part of the family?” I laughed.
“Well yes, to be involved with the Zenko books is all family for us.”
She released me from the hug and looked me in the eye, such a genuine warm soul. “Wait. You can’t move. This light is perfect.”
I moved three steps, grabbed my camera and shot a picture of her before she had a chance to move.
I showed her the viewfinder on my digital camera so she could see how the glow from the windows created a soft light that was beautiful.
“Ok, it’s official now. You have flattered me and won me over completely.” She took a step back and I could see her brain was grinding its wheels.
“Hannah Parker…well it’s certainly a fine day indeed. Darn you sure are pretty.” Ruby just shrugged her shoulders and gave me a comical look. “Well I like your haircut. They should have let you wear it like that on the show.” Ruby grabbed her bag and did a near sprinting walk on long legs over to Jackson’s enormous kitchen. In a way that only Mary Poppins and Ruby could do, she pulled more food out of that bag she carried than could fit in any four bags that size. She was banging around in the pan rack, meat sizzling and spices flying that had me just staring. What an energetic woman!
I could hear the shrieking of a child nearby and saw Jackson and a young fellow heading in the direction of the kitchen. They weren’t really walking but sort of a wrestle/chasing style of movement. It inched forward often but it was not any traditional form of travel.
“Kyle say hello to Hannah.” Jackson said when they get closer.
“Hi Hannah!” Kyle said enthusiastically. He looked me in the eye and I saw the spark he had.
“Hey, wanna throw rocks in the lake with me?” He asked as he took my hand.
“Well that sounds perfect.” I looked up and saw his mother nod as she stirred and moved through the kitchen.
We marched at young Kyle’s pace to the edge of the water. I was nervous.
“See that black rock?” Kyle pointed to the big black rock on the ground. It looked bigger than my head.
“Yes.”
“That’s how far I can go or I get punished.” He nodded seriously.
“Ok, how smart of you to stop in time.” I said as I joined him near the ground snatching up rocks to throw.
He looked me in the eye and blurted out. “I know.”
We threw rocks into the lake, not with any type of flare but just tossing and listening for the plunk that seemed to be Kyle’s favorite part of the process. I enjoyed watching him. I felt that inner part of me click in a way that only a woman could understand. I wanted to ruffle Kyle’s hair and then clone him for my very own.
Okay, I did know daydreams of motherhood were not very constructive at this part of my life but sometimes you couldn’t help when the urge kicked in. I blamed hormones and tried to focus on my rock throwing. * * * * *
“Lunch time!” I heard Ruby yelling and her boy turned and ran back to the cabin at lightning speed. My eyebrows shot up in surprise.
I walked at my own pace back to the cabin still admiring it. It was very nice. Huge windows and the big rough logs and columns that were magnificent with the woods and pines behind the house. Yea, Jackson had himself a heaven on earth.
At the lunch table I saw a feast had been prepared and was pleasantly surprised when Jackson said the prayer over the meal.
Grilled chicken legs with a sweet and spicy glaze, steamed veggies and a salad and somehow an angel cake had appeared out of nowhere.
We all ate and chatted happily about
the weather and Kyle’s latest discoveries. Yesterday it was a turtle and today he wanted to see if he could find him again.
“So I was hoping you could get some new close up head-shots for Zee’s website. I would like something non-traditional, kind of edgy and some good use of shadow. Maybe, you could get some random shots of him writing on his laptop in various positions.” Ruby was clearing the lunch plates as she spoke. She didn’t like to sit still, was my guess.
“I could easily do that. We can get some nice shots anytime this week. I will check the weather and be in contact with Jackson to schedule some time. Wanna grow some stubble for effect?” I turned to Jackson to see him nod slowly.
“Great, that would add some contrast and look very attractive.” I watched his face appreciate that I called him attractive. It amused me to watch him.
“I will get to work reading tonight and draw out some ideas in the next day or two. I will call you or message you with my ideas. You guys facebook or email?” I asked.
“I am addicted and so is my brother.” Ruby said quickly.
“Uh yea.” Jackson agreed. “I check it more often than I should.” He looked slightly guilty and then scooped up some angel food cake smothered with a fruit salad concoction that I discovered a moment later.
“Oh Ruby, this is heavenly.” I said after my first bite. Fruit and whip cream really could never go wrong.
After lunch Jackson walked me out to the car. I got a hug from Kyle and Ruby. I felt awkward for a second when we got near my car. This felt strangely like the end of a date. I just knew one of us was going to say, ‘Well I had a really great time.’
“I hope you like the book.” Jackson said with friendly and oddly shy grin.
“I do like it already. I will get nothing else done today when I return home.” I said.
“Well I am glad to meet you, I hope to talk to you soon.” Jackson looked serious for a second, then waved.
I got in the car and waved back, as I pulled away in my dad’s mustang. Chapter 19
I had always been a fast reader. I finished his book that night around one a.m. I was tired but I had to get to the end. It was riveting. It was a great cop drama and I was happy to be surprised by the twists and turns in the plot. The story felt tangible and the slight romance between the two characters was intriguing. The story ended with only the hope of them having a relationship. I found one typo in the manuscript and wrote down the location. Otherwise it was flawless. I grabbed the summary of the next book and was pleased to see that the main character was the same and the love interest was back. I couldn’t wait for the sparks to fly.
I jumped on my laptop and found the name that Jackson used. I had it written down but had to check the spelling twice, Jackson Zyszkowski. I clicked on the friend addition button and added a note about who it was. My Facebook name was Anna Sparkler, after a nickname my brother gave me one summer when I was a kid and I burned my fingers with a sparkler. It was close to Hannah Parker but I was sure no one outside the family would put it together. I typed in Ruby Pearson and added her as a friend too.
I sent an email to Allison who was happily planning her wedding and wrote back only short little messages. She was pretty busy and our lives were going off in different directions. I had to let the sadness go, she was on her journey and I was on mine. Sometimes that was how life worked.
Janette had accepted my Facebook request and sent a quick note. It was all funny family stories and she begged me for a call soon, I sent back a promise that I would.
I got an email that Jackson accepting my friend request and I jumped over to his facebook page. His profile picture was a beautiful sunset on the lake. The chat function beeped at me and his chat window popped up.
‘Hi Hannah’ He typed.
‘Hey Jackson, you are up late.’
‘Writing, this is when the juices get flowing, sometimes. Other times it’s during the day. The muse is funny that way.’
‘I finished your book, it is great. I loved the twists. You kept me guessing. I adore getting blind-sided like that.’
I thought about my blind-side from Anthony and got a little misty.
‘Well in a book it’s good’ I typed then paused. ‘In real life the blind-sides take a while to get over.’
‘I am sorry that happened, friend.’ Jackson wrote.
It was a nice thing to know that I had him as a friend.
‘Well me too :) ‘I laughed a little on my side of the world. I wiped away a stray tear but didn’t think I could cry anymore.
‘You get a good sleep, see you soon.’ Jackson added.
‘I will drive around tomorrow for some location potentials and call you in the afternoon.’ I answered.
‘Ok.’
I closed my computer and realized I was excited about tomorrow. I liked this job and client. They were all good people. I had the hopes of at least one more visit and a chance to lounge in that red leather chair and stare across the water. Well, and visiting with Zee and Ruby. It felt weird to think of him as Zee. It might be a bit to soon for that.
* * * * *
I woke up sweating and my chest hurt. I could still see Anthony from my dream as we walked down the aisle at our wedding. My dress was decorated with pearls and lace. His family was watching, and my father was next to me holding my arm, as we did the slow march up the aisle. Anthony was standing at the front. It was perfection, with my white roses and wisteria elegantly cascading from every surface. Gorgeous! Randall, the host from the Soulmate show, was standing where the preacher should be, but in the dream it seemed to make sense.
As I got closer to the front of the room I saw a bridesmaid stepped out of place and walked up to Anthony and took his arm. They started kissing passionately and my father and I stopped walking. I ran forward and snatched Anthony away from the bridesmaid to see Desiree smiling at me with a victorious grin. Anthony looked at me and pried himself loose from Desiree’s grasp.
He ran the few steps between us and held me close. I could still feel his arms around me. Then everything went wrong when Desiree pulled a gun and shot my Dad first, then Anthony.
The details were starting to fade but the vision of blood on my white wedding dress was so vivid. It felt real.
I could hear the night birds outside chirping from my bed in my parent’s home. I felt the pull of the dream wanting to sink me further into sadness. Adrenaline surged through me and my breathing was becoming painful. My anxiety was climbing. Sometimes I wondered if being afraid of having anxiety made it worse.
My iPhone was next to the bed and I hit the button to check the time. I set the phone back down; it was almost 4 a.m. I took a few minutes and tried to think of something else and kept breathing slowly and deeply. I thought the violence from the dream was a bit of spillover from the crime drama I read. It was not an overtly violent book but there was some shooting in the story. I’d had my fair share of nightmares the last few months. I relived the breakup, at least once a week. I was never one for remembering dreams before. I wasn’t enjoying it much now.
Once I felt calmer I lay back down and thought about possible locations for a photo shoot. It worked to keep my brain busy and distracted me from thinking about the wedding dream for a while. As I drifted off to sleep the wedding dream came back and I forced myself to wake up again. This process repeated itself for a hour or so.
I ended up praying myself to sleep finally. Just talking to God about my pain helped me focus on something besides the fear of dreaming. It seemed a bit over simplified, but the Peace that came was so needed. I got a few hours of much needed sleep.
* * * * *
“I will be at your place in a few minutes, just wanted to give you a heads up.” I was pretty sure I just woke up Jackson but he had agreed to the time.
“Yeah, I am sorry I overslept. I stayed up way too late last night. I was writing and got carried away with the story. No worries, Hannah. I will be ready.” His voice sounded sleepy.
I spent the day before
going through a few of my favorite old location pictures from when I lived in this area. Some old factories would work well for the urban scenes if they were still there. I was driving my dad’s mustang again. I felt a strange sensation while driving down the highway that someone was following me, but seeing the nearly empty road behind me now in the rearview calmed my nerves. I was just a little bit jumpy.
Jackson agreed yesterday afternoon to come with me to a few spots to see some possible ideas for book covers. We would also take some time to brainstorm for the website photos. I was looking forward to having some pleasant banter today. When I was around Jackson I didn’t think about all the other junk. I felt like Jackson might just become a friend, a real one. That was such a comforting thought as I drove to his home.
I adored his house. What a beautiful place! I never knew I had a love for log houses. Ok, this was more than a house. This was bliss made of wood. I walked slowly, carrying my camera around my neck, stopping to snap a few landscape photos in the red warm sun of the morning. Yep…bliss.
“I think you should pretend to like it here. I am tired of looking at your disgust when you come here.” Jackson said, sarcastically, as he strolled over to me. Looking taller than anyone had a right to be.
I gave him a wink and snapped a picture of him. He looked so fresh and handsome in the light. The stubble he was growing was a charming addition to his overall look. Hmmmm!
“Let’s get this party going.” I said to distract myself from being a goof just because he was handsome. I didn’t need to be intimidated again.
“Great, I have high expectations of you being brilliant today.” He squinted a sec and sneezed into a handkerchief.
“Bless you!” I said, trying not to giggle.
“Blah…” He said with a stuffed up voice.
We both laughed as we piled into my dad’s car. He moved the seat back as far as it would go.
“Jackson, you are just a bit too tall for this ride.” I gave him a wink.
“Just a bit shweetheart.”
We got on the road, headed out, and talked comfortably about the first book. He shared some tidbits about the next book and I enjoyed every second. The first destination was downtown South Bend at a working factory that had an empty building in the back lot. It was beautifully hideous! The scene supported my vision of a good shot. It had a mangled steel staircase and I have loved the stream of dirty sunlight peaking through the broken windows in the past. I was hoping this place would play out well, again.
