Getting to his feet, Gabe made his way to the front of the office then paused when he realized he needed to lock up but had no idea how to do that. He called Bennett to ask him what to do and ended up with an invitation to spend the evening with his older brother. And just like he’d offered comfort to Makayla earlier, Gabe went, hoping Bennett would help him be able to make sense of everything.
Maya gripped the wheel of her car tightly, determined to make it home before falling apart. It was taking everything within her to hold back the tears that were determined to spill over, much like the hurt that was building within her heart. She hadn’t thought she could do it, but all day she’d known what she had to do, and somehow, she’d found the strength to follow through on that knowledge.
But she’d never forget the look on Gabe’s face when she’d told him she couldn’t be with him. Maya had known that he would offer to stop the adventure trips, but all she could picture was the day his zest for life would fade in much the way her mother’s had. Or if she encouraged him to continue, the day would come when someone would knock on her door to let her know that one of those adventures he loved so much had killed him. Either way, she would lose him. Even just imagining that caused the pain to balloon within her.
Doing it this way meant that—if the worst happened—at least she would have moved past this depth of feeling for him. She would grieve his passing as a friend, but not have her heart ripped out by his death. Hopefully. But at the end of the day, he wouldn’t have lost his zest for life, and he would have died doing something he loved.
When she reached the turn-off for the long winding driveway that led to the mansion, Maya felt a mixture of tension and relief. She wanted to get home, to the sanctuary of her room where she could finally fall apart. But there was still the possibility of running into her mom and having to explain her distraught state.
As she approached the security gate that was located halfway down the driveway, Maya pressed the remote on the visor to open it. She knew that would alert anyone paying attention that she was on her way home. All she could do was hope that her parents were out for the evening. She certainly didn’t feel like sitting through a family dinner with the two of them. Her appetite was pretty much gone, lost in the emotional maelstrom present in her body.
Maya noticed right away that the Mercedes wasn’t in its usual spot as she pulled into the garage. After quickly gathering up her purse and phone, she left the car and headed for the door leading into the house. Moving as quietly as possible, Maya stopped only long enough to tug off her boots in the mudroom through which she had to pass to get to the main part of the house.
There was no aroma of cooking food which she assumed meant that her parents had given Elisse the night off which was just fine with Maya. She made it up the stairs to her room without seeing anyone, and with a huge sense of relief, she closed the door behind her and locked it before allowing her emotions to have free rein.
Leaning back against the door, her legs finally gave out, and she slid down to sit on the floor, pain swamping her. Maya pulled her legs in, wrapping her shaking arms around them, squeezing herself into a tight ball as if to contain the hurt that she had inflicted upon herself. Though she’d known that moment with Gabe was coming, until she’d said the words, it hadn’t been real. The pain she’d felt at knowing what was to come was nothing compared to the hurt she felt now that it was over.
Tears flowed, and silent sobs wracked her body as she mourned the loss of a love that was impossible for her to have. Why couldn’t it have been Mitch that she’d fallen for? Someone dependable and present. Someone who had no desire to go out and tempt death at every turn. Instead, her heart had chosen a man who exuded life and excitement.
The memory of his arms around her, the press of his lips against hers, just about did her in. They’d only had such a short time together, and yet there were so many memories that assailed her on an endless loop. As each memory lit up her mind, another shaft of pain would pierce her heart.
She wanted him. Her heart cried for him. In that moment, awash in pain and hurt, Maya didn’t think she could ever love another man the way she loved Gabe Callaghan.
18
June
“Okay, who’s coming with me?” Matt hefted his keys into the air and then caught them again. “We need more snacks since Damon decided to eat more than his fair share already.”
Gabe pushed himself up off the couch with a groan. “I’ll go with you.”
It wasn’t that he wanted to go, but he would rather be with his friend than stay at the apartment where the rest of their group had gathered to celebrate Alex’s birthday. The apartment in Denver was where he had come to stay when Winnipeg had just been too painful for him. It was just one place he’d called home over the years. Matt and Damon had been the ones who had rented it initially, but they had let Gabe pay them for the third bedroom in the apartment, so he’d have a place to stay when he needed it.
And boy, had he ever needed it over the past few months. Thankfully, his family had understood his need to escape when he’d left a couple days after his conversation with Maya even though he’d planned to stay a week. In the months since that day, he’d kept in contact with his family through Skype or FaceTime sessions like he had in the past, but they’d all been careful to not mention Maya or what was going on with her beyond letting him know that she still worked at C&M.
Her Facebook page had remained dead, with her not posting any sort of status updates or pictures. Though it would probably have been painful, he would have loved to have had a glimpse into her life. To see that she was doing okay.
The last communication they’d had was the text he’d received in response to the one he’d sent asking how her doctor’s appointment had gone.
All clear for now. Thank you for caring.
Of course, he’d cared. He loved her. It would have killed him to hear that her cancer had returned. He’d wanted to try to convince her to give him a chance to prove how much he loved her, but he’d known that as long as he had his commitments hanging over his head, he couldn’t ask that of her.
Maybe once he showed her that he was going to give it all up instead of just telling her that he planned to, she might give him another chance. He was willing to wait as long as it took for her to see that he was going to make Winnipeg his home. Permanently.
“Doritos, man,” Damon called out. “Get lots of Doritos.”
“M&Ms for me,” Jill said from her spot on the couch.
She’d finally given up trying to get Gabe to realize that there should be something between them. Now she just gave him pitying looks, not at all sympathetic about the heartache he was dealing with. Thankfully, Matt was much more willing to listen to him and support him as he struggled to accept what had happened back in February.
Instead of celebrating their first Valentine’s Day together, Gabe had gone off the grid for a week around the time of the dreaded holiday. Then he’d returned to carry out the trips and adventures that he’d been committed to.
“I think I can figure out what everyone wants more of,” Matt said. “It’s not as if we haven’t had these get-togethers before. Be back in a bit.”
Gabe slid his feet into the flip-flops he’d left by the door earlier and followed his friend out into the hallway of their three-story apartment building. They took the stairs instead of the elevator then headed out into the warmth of the evening as the sun was finally setting. The buildings around them cast long shadows as they walked toward Matt’s car across the large parking lot.
They’d just about reached the car when Gabe heard the roar of an engine. He turned in time to see large headlights bearing down on them, their brightness blocking out his view of the vehicle they belonged to. But instead of slowing down, the lights swerved a few times then came straight for them.
Gabe heard Matt shouting something, but it was too late as the engine revved, and the vehicle reached Gabe. He’d tried to get out of the way, but it was as if
the vehicle was focused on him. Matt’s arms wrapped around him and together they tumbled away from the direction of the vehicle, but it wasn’t far enough because it swerved one more time and hit them.
Pain exploded in Gabe’s lower body as he felt the impact against him. He could hear Matt groaning in pain next to him, but he couldn’t move to check on his friend. Gabe held as still as he could, hoping the pain would abate, but instead it seemed to be increasing, a tsunami of pain that slowly drowned out everything around him.
As he lay there, praying that God would spare his life, Gabe had a moment of clarity of what it truly meant to stare death in the face, and he was doing it right then. And he had no idea if he was going to win this battle like Maya had won her battles to live. As he fought to remain conscious, Gabe realized that this might well be a battle he lost. All the times he’d flirted with death—just like Maya had said—now meant nothing as he lay there in more pain than he’d ever felt before, wondering if his life was going to just fade away.
Blackness began to creep in as he felt hands touching him, and voices asking him questions that he couldn’t understand. All he could do was whisper what he hoped weren’t his last words.
“Tell my family I love them. Tell Maya I love her. Please. Tell them.”
“Stay with me.” A woman’s voice managed to break through the pain, accompanied by a brush against his cheek. “What’s your name? Can you tell me?”
“Gabe. Will you tell them?”
“Hang in there, Gabe. We’re going to get you help,” the woman said again, just before he felt jarring movement.
“Tell them I love them. Tell Maya I love her. Please.” He was frantic to have someone promise to convey his messages. “Please. I need you to tell them how much I love them.”
“I’ll tell them, Gabe, but I need you to focus on staying with me so you can tell them yourself.”
“Thank you,” Gabe whispered, finally giving in to the blackness that was pulling him under. As long as his family and Maya received his messages of love, he could let go. The love he felt for them was like a warm blanket, a comfort in the midst of the pain that eclipsed everything else, even his desire to fight.
Maya was surprised to see only one car in the parking lot when she got to work. Usually, Bennett, Makayla, and Ethan all beat her in, but today, she only saw Bennett’s truck there. Makayla hadn’t mentioned anything about taking the day off, so the fact that she wasn’t there gave Maya an uneasy feeling in her stomach.
She left the car and walked into the quiet of the office, hoping that she was just overreacting to things. After she had put her stuff away, Maya sat down at her desk as she had every work day since she’d started. The last few months had been difficult. She hadn’t counted on how hard it would be to get over her heartache for Gabe when she saw his carbon copy almost every day. Though she could tell at a glance that it wasn’t Gabe, there was still that moment when she’d see Mitch and hope…
For what?
She was the one who’d ended things without any hope of a future for them. She hadn’t been willing to accept his offer to stop going on his dangerous adventures because she’d been so sure that he’d come to resent her eventually. The thought of being the reason someone else lost their joy in life was more than she could handle.
In the months since she’d ended things, there hadn’t been a day when she hadn’t shed a few tears for the loss of what she could have had with Gabe. Her mom asked her on an almost daily basis what was wrong. Maya couldn’t bring herself to share her heartache, so she just brushed it aside, but she had a feeling that her mom wasn’t fooled. She just hadn’t figured out yet what was going on with Maya.
Because she apparently wasn’t sad enough, Maya had continued to torture herself by watching any video Gabe put on his YouTube channel. When he’d look into the camera and talk, it was like he was talking right to her. She couldn’t help but be captivated by his words and his appearance.
She’d also regularly checked Facebook to see what he was posting. At first, it had seemed like he was doing just fine, but then she’d begun to see that he wasn’t as dynamic in his videos as she’d remembered him being. He still took selfies in various places, but his eyes didn’t sparkle with excitement, and his smile wasn’t as wide or engaging as it had once been.
He’d get over it—she was sure of that—it just might take a little more time. She wasn’t so sure that was how it was going to work for her. In fact, each day it seemed to get harder and harder. Her love for him wasn’t fading the way she’d hoped. The memories weren’t dimming. The feeling of his arms around her was still as vivid as it had been the day he’d hugged her for the first time. And she didn’t think she’d ever be able to forget their first kiss. Her first kiss.
“Maya.” Bennett’s voice held a weariness that was only reinforced when she got her first glimpse of him. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night, and there was strain around his eyes.
“Is something wrong?” she asked him. “No one else is here.”
“Yes. Unfortunately, we got some bad news last night.”
“Did something happen with Makayla’s pregnancy?” Maya felt sick at the thought. It wasn’t until later that she’d discovered that on the same day she’d ended things with Gabe, Makayla had been in the midst of miscarrying. She’d only just announced earlier that week that she was pregnant again. It would be horrible if she lost a second baby.
Bennett shook his head. “It’s not Makayla.” He cleared his throat, glancing away from her, and suddenly, Maya knew. She knew.
“No. Not Gabe,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. The pain that seemed to always be present in her heart suddenly exploded to fill every part of her body. “No.”
Bennett let out a long breath and sank down on the second chair at the reception desk. “We got word last night that Gabe had been in an accident.”
“Is he…?” Maya couldn’t say the word, couldn’t bring herself to even think it.
“He’s been in surgery for several hours. It’s been touch and go.”
Tremors began in Maya’s stomach and spread to her extremities, making her clasp her hands together tightly to keep them from shaking. “What…what happened? His Twitter said he was in Denver for a bit. He wasn’t supposed to be out doing anything dangerous.”
“He wasn’t.” Bennett ran a hand down his face. “From what we’ve been told, Gabe and his roommate Matt had just left their apartment building to run to the store for some food when a truck went out of control in their parking lot and hit them both.”
“What?” Maya stared at Bennett, sure that she’d misunderstood. “He was hit by a truck? In his parking lot?”
Though Bennett’s eyes remained pain-filled, a corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. “I know, right? We all had anticipated that if he ever got hurt, it would be falling off a cliff or jumping out of an airplane, so this was something of a surprise, over and above the fact that he was hurt at all.”
Maya swallowed hard, her stomach churning and making her nauseous. Regret joined the fear and pain that were already resident within her as she realized that she’d been so worried about the dangerous stuff that she’d missed out on the fact that danger actually lurked around every corner. Putting life on hold because of fear of that danger would be ridiculous, and yet, that’s what she’d done. She’d focused on the danger of his life choices instead of just enjoying the time they could have together.
“Is he going to be okay?”
Bennett shrugged. “He has fractures in his legs and pelvis, and they had to remove his spleen. He had internal bleeding which was what concerned them the most, but last we heard, they had gotten that under control. Mom and Dad managed to get a flight out early this morning. I’m heading back to the house now, then Mitch and I will be trying to get a flight out tonight, if possible.” He sighed as his brow furrowed. “We’re going to close the office for the day. Can you change the answering machine to state that we’ve had a famil
y emergency and for callers to leave a message or send an email? Hopefully, some of us can be back in the office tomorrow if Gabe is stabilized. We’re going to try and get him back to Winnipeg as soon as it’s medically safe to move him.”
More than anything, Maya wanted to fly to Gabe’s bedside and stay there until he opened his eyes so she could tell him how much she loved him. But she no longer had that right. Because of that, all Maya wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed, so that she could be alone in her pain. But she had a job to do, and if doing it would be a support for the family, then she would stay and do it.
“I’ll stay for a bit, and I’ll be in tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” Bennett said. “I’m going to go make a few phone calls, and then I’ll head out to the house.”
Maya watched as he got to his feet and walked to the hallway that led to his office. His movements looked slow and heavy. Once she was alone, she took a deep breath, willing her tears to stay away because she had things to do. She had the ability to help, and she needed to get the ball rolling.
With trembling hands, she pulled her phone out and tapped the screen to call her father.
“Maya?” Her dad’s image filled the screen of her phone. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I need your help,” Maya said, trying her best to not start crying. “A…friend of mine has been hurt. I need your help to help his family.”
Maya anticipated a flood of questions, but her dad surprised her.
“I will expect more details from you later, but for now, tell me what you need.”
“Is the jet available to fly some people to Denver? And do you have someone who can arrange medical transport from Denver back to Winnipeg?”
“Yes. I’ll have Brad contact the pilot to get the jet ready to go, and he can go with the plane to deal with things on that end for the medical transport. Do you need a doctor to consult?”
The Love of Her Life: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 3) Page 22
