They reverted to small talk as they finished off their tea, then Maya helped Elisse clear the table before heading up to her room. Not too long ago, the sanctuary of her room—being alone there—had been a solace for her. Now, however, it was like the sadness that she managed to keep under control while outside her room, began to unfurl and seep into every part of her body the minute she stepped across the threshold.
So, like she did every other night, Maya ran herself a bath, brushing aside the tears that silently tracked down her cheeks. She hated how weak she was when it came to her emotions. She wanted to be able to accept what she’d done so she could get past the heartache, but it just didn’t seem to be happening. Every day the sadness seemed to get worse, not better.
How was she supposed to get on with her life when she spent all day trying to seem like she was doing fine only to fall apart after she got to the safety of her bedroom? That wasn’t moving on. That wasn’t getting over things. The sadness dominated her life in a way she’d never thought possible.
How did someone get over a broken heart? Initially, Lainie assured her that the pain would pass, but Maya was beginning to think that her friend hadn’t loved the previous men in her life the way Maya loved Gabe. She’d admitted as much when she’d talked about how she felt about Stewart in comparison to her ex-boyfriends.
On the previous Sunday, the pastor had preached about finding joy in whatever circumstances a person might be. Maya had questioned that at the time, and she questioned it again as she sank into the warm water in the tub and stared up through the skylight to the dark sky beyond, the stars blurry through her tears. She wasn’t sure what joy she could find in her current circumstances…the ones she had created herself.
She didn’t deserve a second chance with Gabe, so she wasn’t about to ask for one. If there was one positive thing in all of this, it was that Gabe was still alive. That was something she would be eternally grateful for. The heartache, even with Gabe still alive, would be nothing compared to how she would have felt if he’d died. So maybe she needed to find joy in the fact that Gabe was still alive, even if she wasn’t in his life anymore.
Gabe glared at the cast that ran from his foot to his hip. How was he supposed to live like this? He couldn’t walk and—from what the doctors had said—when he managed to walk again, it would most likely be with a limp. And apparently, no one could tell him if he’d ever be able to climb again. Or ride his mountain bike. Or hike. Over half the adventures he loved to do might be things he couldn’t do again. What kind of life was that going to be?
Discouragement threatened to overwhelm him, but Gabe tried his best to push it aside. He was alive. Over and above everything else, the fact that he and Matt were alive was something to rejoice about.
Also, something to rejoice about was that he was home. After five days in the Winnipeg hospital he’d been released. Now he was staying at his parents’ place, relegated to a small guest bedroom on the main floor, but he at least had his own bathroom. And more than his fair share of “nurses.”
Hearing voices coming down the hall, he quickly slid down the bed and leaned back against the pillow, closing his eyes. He’d been checked on less than fifteen minutes earlier. Surely he was due for some peace and quiet. If he’d still needed that type of care, he should have stayed in the hospital.
“You awake, bro?” He felt Mitch jostle the foot on his good leg.
Knowing he couldn’t fool his twin, Gabe cracked one eye open and saw Mitch standing beside his bed, his hands full of…food. He had a large pizza box balanced on one hand with a two-litre of soda tucked under his arm.
“Hungry?” Mitch asked as he put the soda on the nightstand and reached out to pull a chair from the desk in the corner.
“Oh yes. Mom’s food has been great the past few days, but I could really do with something a little less healthy.”
“I’m actually here for double duty,” Mitch said as he set the pizza box on the edge of the bed and opened it.
“Double duty? Please tell me you’re not here to babysit me if Mom and Dad have to go out.”
“If only. I could hook up a gaming console, and we could play games all evening. That would actually be fun.”
Gabe pulled a piece of pizza out of the box, taking the napkin Mitch held out to him. He said a quick prayer for the food before pinning Mitch with a look. “What are you talking about?”
“Apparently Mom has decided you stink and that you need a shower, and since I’m your twin…I get the privilege of helping you out.”
“Seriously?” Gabe took a bite of the pizza, not even bothering to hold back the moan of appreciation for the cheesy, tomatoey goodness.
Mitch nodded and finished chewing the bite he’d taken. “She even gave me a huge garbage bag and a roll of duct tape so we can protect your cast.”
Gabe couldn’t deny that the thought of a shower was appealing, and of all the people to help him with it, Mitch was top of the list. He would have done the same for his brother.
“Then maybe after that we can play some video games,” Gabe said. “Goodness knows I could use some excitement in my life. And you could let me win so that I feel even better about myself.”
Mitch grinned. “Not gonna happen.”
They talked smack for a bit as they managed to eat their way through almost the whole pizza. Gabe knew he needed to watch what he was eating since he wouldn’t be exercising to work off the excess calories, but right then, he didn’t really care.
“Have you talked to Maya?”
21
Mitch’s question caught Gabe off-guard. It was the first time anyone had brought her up since the accident, outside of letting him know it was her father that was helping them, and he was surprised—and a bit dismayed—at how his heart beat accelerated at the mention of Maya’s name. “No, I haven’t.”
Mitch finished off his piece of pizza then wiped his hands on one of the napkins he’d brought into the room. “Do you want to?”
“She made it pretty clear that she didn’t see things working out for us,” Gabe reminded Mitch. “She had her reasons, and I respect them.”
“So you didn’t have strong feelings for her?” Mitch asked.
“I didn’t say that.” Gabe scowled as he tossed the crust of the piece he’d been eating into the pizza box. “I couldn’t be who she needed then. And now…Well, I definitely can’t be, now. Add into that who she is, and there’s just no way I could be the right man for her.”
Mitch scowled back at him. “Wait a minute. Are you seriously saying that you think Maya feels you’re not in her league because of who her father is? Because if you are, I’m going to have to smack you on the head.”
“Well, yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I also can’t believe that her father would think I’m the best guy for his daughter.”
“And yet, her dad has done all this stuff for you.”
“Dude, you’re not that dumb,” Gabe said with a shake of his head. “He did it because Maya asked him, not because he wanted to do it for me.”
“And why would she want him to do it if she didn’t feel anything for you?”
“For you guys? She no doubt could see how upset you all were and then did what she could to help ease that.”
“You can claim to have the looks in this twinship, but clearly I have the brains.” Mitch stretched out his legs and crossed his arms. “I think you’re just scared, frankly.”
“Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion.” Gabe shrugged. “Doesn’t mean they’re right.”
“True. Your opinion, in this particular instance, is definitely not right.”
Gabe rolled his eyes but didn’t rise to the bait. Truth be told, he didn’t want to talk about Maya. He thought about her all the time, and that caused enough pain. Talking about her wouldn’t make that any better. Even though she’d given a perfectly valid reason for ending things, with all the knowledge he had about her now, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to her walkin
g away.
He recalled the pain in her eyes when she’d ended things with him, so he knew that she’d felt something, but it hadn’t been enough. When he’d been introduced to Brad and told who he was, Gabe had wondered if he’d still been under the influence of the pain medication.
Maya was Max Zevardi’s daughter? The man was well known for being a real estate mogul in addition to owning companies who researched and produced advanced technologies. His companies were said to be preparing to release prototypes for everything from computers to cars far and above what was currently available.
There was no way a man of Max Zevardi’s status would accept someone like him as a love interest for his only child. For all that the man had done for him, Gabe would be eternally grateful, and he wouldn’t repay the man by pursuing his daughter. Especially when that daughter had ended things between them in the first place.
“I think you need to at least have a conversation with her,” Mitch said. “I think she would be receptive to that.”
Gabe squelched the hope that flared to life within him. It had been five months since that awful day when he’d found out about Makayla’s miscarriage and Maya had let him know there was no future for them. He hated that he was still harboring any type of hope where she was concerned.
“I just can’t understand you guys,” Gabe groused to his brother. “First you all warn me off her, and now you’re encouraging me to get back together with her.” He gave Mitch a hard look. “So what changed your minds? The fact that her father is super wealthy? Or that I now have a gimp leg that will likely curtail my adventurous lifestyle? And what makes you think she’d even want to be with me now that I’m injured and will probably never walk properly again?”
Mitch shook his head. “You really are being ignorant right now. I have half a mind to let you wait another day for the shower.”
“Sounds good to me. It wasn’t like I asked you to come here and do it.” Gabe knew he was being difficult, but the truth was that he really was frustrated. He had no doubt that it was partly the comments made by his siblings that had put doubt in Maya’s mind about their lifestyles not meshing, so it really chafed at him to be faced with Mitch’s observations now.
Maybe she was willing to talk with him. Maybe she wanted to be friends, but Gabe wasn’t in that place just yet. Five months later and he was still trying to get his heart to move on.
Mitch let out a sigh and pulled in his legs, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his thighs. He met Gabe’s gaze, and the two of them stared at each other in silence. Gabe knew that Mitch wouldn’t leave the room without them getting past this, regardless of what he threatened. His twin was the one person who would understand more than anyone else how he was struggling with his injury and with thoughts of Maya.
“Let me go get that garbage bag and do this shower.” Mitch got to his feet and left the room.
When he didn’t return right away, Gabe wondered if perhaps he’d decided to abandon him after all. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. The never-ending prayer that seemed to be continually whispered by his heart, of late, rose in volume within him.
Please, Heavenly Father, help me deal with all of this. Please heal my leg completely. Make my heart understand how things are with Maya. Gabe let out a long sigh. He wished he knew why this had happened to him. Help me understand.
“Ready to do this?”
Like earlier, Gabe opened his eyes to find Mitch standing by his bed, a black garbage bag in one hand and a roll of tape in the other. “I guess I am.”
As he pushed up to a sitting position, Gabe knew that things between him and Mitch were fine. That didn’t mean that Mitch wouldn’t revisit something that they’d talked about at some point, but for that night, it was done, and he was just grateful that his brother was willing to help him out. Especially after he’d taken out some of his frustration on him.
“Thank you,” Gabe said as Mitch peeled off the garbage bag a while later.
“I’m glad to be able to help you.” Mitch dipped his head and focused on the tape he was trying to remove from the black plastic. “The alternate ending to that accident is not something I want to consider. So helping you?” Mitch looked up and met his gaze. “I’m grateful to be able to do it.”
Maya frowned at Lainie’s image on the screen, and when she didn’t respond, her friend repeated herself.
“I think you need to go talk to him.”
“And tell him what?” Maya asked, wanting an answer to the question that had been plaguing her since Gabe’s accident. “That I’ve had second thoughts? That now that he’s had an accident and will likely not be able to continue with his adventures, I’m happy to consider a relationship with him?”
Lainie shook her head. “How about telling him that you love him? That the accident made you realize that having him for only a little while each year is better than not having him at all.”
Everything Lainie said was true, but Maya still wasn’t sure.
“The truth is, your fear of rejection is going to rob you of something special.” Lainie didn’t mince words that time. “You rejected him once, I think it’s time that you gave him the chance to reject you.”
That didn’t sound like a good idea to Maya. Rejection was the absolute last thing she wanted. Seriously, who went out of their way to put themselves in a position to be rejected?
“I don’t think—“ Maya began.
“Stop thinking,” Lainie said with a slash of her hand. “Feel.”
But feeling hurt, and she told Lainie as much.
“Only you can decide if the risk is worth it. And only you can decide if your fear is greater than the regret you’ll feel at not having at least tried to see if you can have a future with Gabe.”
Nerves warred with the sadness that had been consistently present within her since that day back in February. She knew that Lainie was right.
“Everything still going good with you and Stewart?” She wasn’t just changing the subject, she really did care about how things were going with her friend.
Lainie hesitated before a smile lit up her face. “It’s going great! His hours are pretty crazy since he’s still a resident, but he makes time for me when he can. That’s why I want you to take this chance with Gabe. When you talk about him, I understand the feelings behind your words because that’s how I feel about Stewart.”
Maya nodded, feeling the same way when Lainie talked about Stewart. She wanted to have what Lainie had, but she knew she wasn’t going to have it without being vulnerable. “I…I will go talk to him.”
“That’s my sugar!” Lainie exclaimed with a clap of her hands. “And then I want you to tell me all about it.”
The sadness and hurt she’d been feeling for months slowly gave way to a flame of hope. There were still nerves to deal with, though, and they would no doubt be present until she talked with Gabe and had a final answer.
The next morning, Maya got up and dressed with the thought that she was going to be seeing Gabe for the first time in months. So, once her hair and makeup were done, she slipped on the pair of black capris and lavender blouse she’d chosen to wear. After spritzing on a bit of perfume, Maya slid her feet into a pair of black sandals, glad that she’d taken the time to get a mani-pedi with her mom the previous week.
She knew that Gabe was back home at his parents’ place, so Maya planned to head over there. It was a bit nerve-wracking to think about showing up uninvited, but she was afraid if she tried to contact him, he might turn her away before she even had a chance to talk to him.
“Heading out, sweetheart?” her mom asked as Maya went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Her mom—who had returned home the previous evening with her dad—was seated at the breakfast nook, a mug and a laptop in front of her.
“Yeah. I’m going to the Callaghans’ home.” Through the night, as nervous thoughts had circled around in her head, Maya had come to the decision that after talking to Gabe she was going to talk to her mom.
Regardless of the outcome of her conversation with Gabe, Maya knew it was time to tell her mom everything. It seemed that lately, her mom’s mindset about life, in general, was improving. And because of that, their relationship had been improving as well. She wanted to take advantage of that and see if they could build a relationship as parent and adult child instead of parent and sick child. It was her hope that her mom would be willing to have that type of relationship with her.
“Is there something going on?”
“Sort of. One of their kids was injured a little while ago, and I was going to go visit them.”
Her mom nodded but, surprisingly, didn’t ask any further questions. “Your dad and I are meeting Ian and Iliana for dinner.”
Maya lowered the bottle she’d been about to take a sip from at the mention of her aunt and uncle. Her estranged aunt and uncle.
“Something come up?”
“Ian called last night and asked to meet with your dad. He decided we would have a social meeting first and go from there.”
Maya knew that a lot of the conflict between her dad and his brother had come from her uncle feeling entitled to some of her dad’s wealth simply because he was related to him. Her dad was willing to pay for education for any family member and would give jobs to any relative who was willing to work. However, he refused to give out money just so someone didn’t have to work when he had worked hard to build his business and still continued to work hard to this day. Maya knew that was one of the main reasons her dad hadn’t objected to her getting a job.
“Let me know how it goes,” Maya said as she picked up her purse. “I definitely want the details.”
Her mom smiled. “I’ll take notes.”
With a laugh, Maya crossed to where her mom sat and pressed a kiss to her proffered cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Though her nerves had settled a bit during the conversation with her mom, they gradually resurfaced as she drove to the Callaghan home. The last time she’d been there had been on Boxing Day. That had been a day of ups and downs, but Maya hoped that this day would only have ups.
The Love of Her Life: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 3) Page 25
